NOREGRET2010   49,233
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Back to reality

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I've been on vacation....lots of fun, lots of food, but lots and lots of walking too, so I'm not feeling too upset about it.

I'm tired tho. Really, really tired. Hmm, maybe I should get over myself and use my CPAP. Sigh. Why am I SO STUBBORN about this issue?

I had a difficult moment over the weekend, when my partner told me as lovingly as possible that I frequently smell bad. This is not from lack of showering - I do shower daily. But as the day wears on and I get warmed up....apparently I smell "funky". I'm aware this has been getting worse as I got heavier- but I had no clue OTHERS could smell me.

I could have died, pretty much, I was so embarrassed. I'm not sure what all can be done that I'm not already doing - shower, deoderant, panty liners....

I'm thinking more water is probably part of the answer - this weekend I did NOT get my water and I felt dehydrated often and it was at the end of the trip that this came up. I used to use baby powder and I think that helped some and I'll try that again. Perhaps changing my clothes right after work.....

Hell, I dunno. It's sort of depressed me badly. She said it out of love, she said it as kindly as possible, and in private. Certainly, I prefer to KNOW it's that bad and it would have been much worse for someone ELSE to say something rather than my partner....but ...yeah.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMANDAHE 3/19/2008 9:12PM

  Hugs. Sometimes no matter how nicely someone says something it can still hurt. Don't let it get you down, try changing to natural fibre products, remember to drink your water and remind yourself that we aren't meant to smell like a bunch of flowers - so don't go over the top with the deodorants, perfumes and the like.

Oh and for the record, imagine how much better you would feel with a good nights sleep - have you thought of using the cpap machine maybe every second night?

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KIPPENDOODLE 3/18/2008 9:00PM

    That is a hard one to hear, but it looks like you are looking at all possible causes. I can tell you from experience that drinking more water and wearing natural fibers can help tremendously. And I mean lots and lots of water! The beauty is that water benefits in so many other ways! You may want to check in with your physician, too. If you have some favorite outfits, it may be time to retire them.

I also wanted to tell you that you have a great pic and I'll bet your bellydance class is a blast!

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New challenge, new opportunity!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The LC is having another challenge and I stepped up and took it. They keep me active on the site and THINKING about my health and well, their challenges always ROCK!

Last night was a nice evening with dinner out...some window shopping...I ate all the things I would not normally now, lol, but I'm right back on track today.

Now, if I could just get my body clock tuned to daylight savings time, I'd be doing great. I'm so stinking tired it's not funny.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HUSKY__HANK 3/12/2008 7:38PM

  I hope my challenge helps keep you motivated. You can do it

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NOREGRET2010 3/12/2008 10:23AM

    The LC does a challenge most of the time. Those who sign up get divided into teams and given usually 2 daily tasks, one physical ("exercise 20 minutes more than usual") or social (tell us something about yourself). You get points for completing them on time and the team with the most points wins.

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MEWIEGELE 3/12/2008 10:18AM

    Its good to have a treat once in a while! As long as its just once in a while. lol. So whats the new challenge?

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Happy Birthday to me!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Today is my 44th birthday. My birthday is not my favorite thing - not because I'm aging so much as old tapes that run in my head pretty rampant this time of year.

Last week, I had such a rollercoaster with the scale I decided to stay off for a week, until today, before looking again.

It hasn't changed. But you know what? I'm really okay with it. I looked up to the calender I keep in my bathroom and I put a shiny star or sticker on every day I work out....and there are already a lot of stickers on there this month. I looked in the mirror and I can SEE changes happening. Before daylight savings time started kicking my arse, I was feeling a lot better and had more energy. Those things are all great signs that I'm improving my health. So I repeat from last week, the scale can bite me! I'm going to keep on keeping on with exercise and healthier eating and stay off the scale as much as possible for awhile.

That said, I had to ask myself, why didn't I lose any more weight when I have been working out/eating better. Not as a "I'm such a loser" thing, but as in - what could I have done differently? I immediately knew the answer:

Since the weekend, my water intake was like nothing. I'm a lot better about routine at work...and when I don't have routine, the water went out the window. Second, sleep. I am so exhausted from not sleeping well and daylight savings that I thought I might fall asleep on the way to work this a.m....which then leads to drinking coffee which is sort of a vicious cycle.

So, here's to another year of life...another year, month, week or day to work on being more healthy and living life FULLY regardless of my weight. My weight does not define me. Period.

Lastly, I'll tell you about a little surprise that was really cool for my birthday. Between the two classes I teach Sunday, my students brought in cake (oy! I did have a piece!), sang happy birthday to me....and gave me a $180 gift certificate to L. Rose Designs....the place I want to get my costume for the competition I'm doing in June. I cried. :) They made me feel really good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMANDAHE 3/11/2008 4:04PM

  Happy Birthday!

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HOWEDELITEFUL 3/11/2008 12:43PM

    Happy Birthday! What a wonderful surprise from your students! Here's to your next happy and healthy year!

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KATIE781 3/11/2008 12:22PM

  Happy Birthday! I'm going to start putting stickers on my calandar too so I can see how much I'm working out. I'm in a slump right now and I haven't worked out in a week. I'm feeling very down. Maybe the stickers will help motivate me to see that I need that sticker to keep me moving!! Thank you!!

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HERESHECOMES 3/11/2008 10:45AM

    Happy birthday!

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STARRTWINKLES 3/11/2008 9:53AM

    Happy Birthday and many many more. Your students are wonderful you are so lucky. Have a happy day Starr

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UP4MORE 3/11/2008 9:51AM

    Happy Birthday to you! 4o's are fabulous!

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Friday, March 07, 2008

Wow am I glad it's Friday!

Last night, my oldest daughter came over and worked out with me. It was pretty cool. I worry, because she is starting to look just like I did when the weight began creeping up on me. She is probably 40 pounds overweight and I really worry for her. So, it was very cool we could work out together!

Before she got there, I stuck in the new Leslie Sansome Walk Away the Pounds DVD I'd picked up and did the first workout on the DVD, an 18 minute 1 mile "walk" - more like low impact aerobics, which is fine by me. I really liked it...and by the end of the 18 minutes I was sweating my butt off. When Mary came over, we did the level 1 Biggest Loser workout - so I had about 45 minutes of exercise last night and I feel really good about it!

This morning when I stood in front of the mirror, I could really SEE some of the changes my body is making - despite what the stupid scale says- and I was inspired to drag out my measuring tape. I only measured my waist - because I do get really sucked into the whole numbers thing...and I've lost 0.5 off my waist in the last week. Most importantly, I can SEE the difference, and that is really cool.

A great Spark Buddy sent me a hug this a.m. (you know who you are...) as a little help on making it through the coming weekend....How did you know weekends are hard, lol? It's my daughter's 14th birthday, so I know there will be cake involved...but I'm determined there will also be a lot of exercise involved! Since she works weeknights, it's the only time I really have with my partner and food comes into play in a big way on the weekends.

Here's to making it through the weekend, good Spark Buddies, and a life long journey to health....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I'm glad you liked the DVD and you got to also enjoy a workout with your daughter. :) Also grats on starting to see those changes!

I hope the hug gets you through!

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Off the scale for a week....

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Yesterday, the scale said 239.5. It's not digital, but it was juuuuust below the 240 line, but not quite on the 239 line. So, I said to myself, just let it get to 239...then you can celebrate. I jumped on the scale this a.m., excited .... and it said....


I know, I know. It's not fat. I KNOW it's not. My calories, my exercise have been good. It's water weight or what ever you wanna call it.

If there is one thing I've gained from watching the biggest loser this season, it's the realization that some people just don't lose weight easily and that the scale is a fickle, fickle friend indeed. I look at the women on that show who work out for HOURS a day, and sometimes they only get 1 or 2 pounds. I don't work out for hours a day and my food is good, tho not always perfect.

I am doing a day-to-day for the rest of my life journey. Period. I feel better, I look better, my clothes are getting looser. The scale can .... bite me. I'm in this for the long run.

Short rant: My partner has diabetes. Pretty uncontrolled diabetes, but she is a big girl and I decided a long time ago I am not her keeper. She knows what she needs to do and she knows how I feel about it. Last night, she came home from work in excruciating pain in one of her feet....which has all the signs of diabetic neuropathy. When I asked...she hasn't been taking her meds.

I wanted to scream I was so mad. This morning, I looked her in the eye and said, "if I had a heart problem, and I stopped taking my heart meds cause they made me sick to my stomach (her excuse), what would you have to say about that? You are playing with your life...with our lives. I love you, I'm committed to you, we're married. Don't make me spend our later years taking care of someone who didn't take care of herself."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVENSBEAR 3/7/2008 6:31AM

    I just had to stop and say hi and comment on your post...the scale is evil, lol!! At one point in my roller coaster dieting days I would get on that thing, oh.... many times per day. We are so obsessed with numbers, aren't we? Now... I limit it to once a week, if that. Go by how your clothes fit, pick a pair of pants that are snug or maybe a size too small and make that a goal! Much more motivating!
I can totally relate to your partner's diabetes. My mother in law has the exact same thing right down to the pain in her feet. Does she take her meds? Sometimes. Does she watch her nutrition? No. Her sugar intake is out of control. It is heart breaking. I am taking a class right now working towards my ACE Certification (to get my Personal Trainer Cert) and we are talking a lot about diabetes and weight management for women. I think it was written about my mother in law, LOL! Stick with your partner, encourage her :-)
Best wishes,

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    It's good to see that you're going to try to ignore the scale. That stupid thing can ruin an otherwise good week. You can be so proud of yourself for getting it all right, and then that machine rolls up a number, that means very little in the scheme of things, and it can make you feel awful if you let it. It's a tough habit for me to break too, and I get in trouble for weighing in too much... but in my defense, I used to weigh in daily.. and sometimes more than once a day. Eek!

As for your partner, it's such a tough situation. If her meds are making her sick, she needs to look into something different, maybe? My doctor has been really good about working with me to get the right combination of meds to compliment my eating and exercise. Maybe she will see you getting so healthy and want to join in with you!

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DEEDLEBUG64 3/5/2008 12:26PM

    Way to understand that the scale is not the way to go. I weigh in once a week when I see my trainer and it isn't always what I want to see but my clothes are feeling looser and I know that I can breathe so much better. Keep up the good work. I hope that your partner listened to you and starts taking her meds. Diabetes is nothing to mess with my mother had it for a very long time and it lead to so many other ailments. She passed away in Oct from pancreatic cancer and I still say that her diabetes did not help her. So please make sure you support your partner in taking her meds. I hope you guys have a great week. Keep up the good work on your weight loss.


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