NOREGRET2010   49,941
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Waiting for the sunshine....

Monday, March 31, 2008

Sun is almost up this a.m.....At my desk, will start work as soon as I finish this post. Feeling....a little blue.

That it's another Monday in my life and where am I? Have I made the best choices? Why do I constantly feel like I'm starting over - not only in weight loss efforts, but in so many areas.

I truly believe every day IS another chance to get it right and that there are ups and downs and blah blah blah. You just have to get up, dust yourself off and keep going.

Today, that just feels ....old. What would it be like to get up....and know you are on top of what you aspire to? That you've done the work consistently and are reaping the rewards? Emotionally? Financially? Physically? Professionally?

Wow. All this introspection is not making me feel any better, lol. it is...another Monday. Another day to work on getting the business of life right. I'm grateful I HAVE another day to work on it. So.... Happy Monday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMANDAHE 3/31/2008 4:35PM

  And then the question that I ask is, why do we always make ourselves feel bad about these "downs"? Keep in mind that you have to experience the lows in life to fully appreciate the highs.

I hear you, and I do understand where you are coming from - one of my friends has this tacked to her fridge door "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" - she has been on the weight watchers program and reached goal weight (around three years ago), she keeps this on her fridge door to remind herself of her goals. I'm not aiming for thin, but it always reminds me of my goal - maybe I should pin it up on the pantry door!

Hugs, hope your day gets better.

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AGODDESS_INSIDE 3/31/2008 12:59PM

    How depressing would it be if you got up every morning and didn't have anywhere to go? Getting there is half the fun!! Happy Monday!

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HUSKY__HANK 3/31/2008 12:16PM

  Happy Monday!!

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HOWEDELITEFUL 3/31/2008 12:15PM

    Happy Monday back at ya!

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SPRINGBOUND 3/31/2008 10:55AM

    And happy monday to you.

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Another day, another dollar

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Another Tuesday. I stepped on the scale this a.m., and nothing had really changed. For once I didn't get frustrated or beat myself up. I said, oh well and I went and did my morning 20 minute workout.

I'm doing the Walk Away The Pounds DVD in the a.m. - at least the 20 minute one if not a longer one, and some nights I'm doing a 30 minute one. I'm being more mindful of what goes into my mouth and WHY it's going there. Am I hungry or am I bored? Upset? I remind myself, "we eat because we are hungry....not to entertain ourselves."

What the scale says is starting to ever so slightly not matter anymore. Even when I wasn't getting on it...I was obsessed with what it might say the next time...but I'm soooo slowly getting to the point of "eh. Oh well, I'll keep on doing it anyway". To expand my energy, to increase my health, to lengthen my life. Yeah, I still have obsessed days...and I work hard to not even get on the scale. Period.

I started this journey many times to lose weight. I'm continuing on it to LIVE.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARRTWINKLES 3/25/2008 11:58AM

    Hi there You sound so positive it's very refreshing. Good for you You have a great outlook. Stop by my page and keep me posted God Bless Starr

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Life marches on, with or without you

Thursday, March 20, 2008

My aunt passed away yesterday after a short bout with cancer. By the time they knew she had it, she was riddled with it. Saving the long and drawn out story, I believed she was my real mom for about 10-12 years of my life. She wasn't, but believing so helped keep me sane in the same house with a crazy mother. I'm so sad I'm having a hard time functioning. I made myself work out last night, and I'm glad I did - it was good to sweat and let go.

After thinking about some of the comments left last post on odor, I took a hard look at my closet. Hmm, those black pants? At least 5 years old, likely older. That knit gray dress shirt? about the same age. I have tended to not purchase clothes for myself unless in dire need. Yes, I laundered them and again, I really DO have good hygeine, but when I really sniffed hard at the fabrics in these poor (really shabby when I looked at them) clothes, I could smell that funky odor my partner was mentioning. These clothes are cheap and have a high nylon/polyester content, which I suspect has absorbed the everyday odors over the YEARS I've been wearing them...they seem to be clean when laundered, but I suspect after a couple hours of wearing/body heat/moisture/whatever, they are releasing their smelliness. I've been better the last year or so about purchasing more clothing for myself, but obviously, who ever mentioned "retiring" some of my outfits was right on the mark.

Made me feel a little better, no one wants to be "Pigpen", you know?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCARLETTZADE 3/23/2008 5:47PM

    I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt.

Odor? I don't think most of us know what we smell like.

My significant other loves to smell herself though. It's funyy. She has this whole ritual where she lathers twice (at least) and then she layers different colognes (mens).

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SERIALKNITTER 3/21/2008 7:47AM

    I am offering you my sincerest condolences. I am glad that you exercised anyhow - the best way to honor your passed loved ones is to live well for them.

A friend of mine has a job where she occasionally gets sweaty and my husband is a cook. I know that both of them have things that they have to toss after a certain amount of time because of the smells that just won't leave. It happens to the best of us - I'm sure that you are not an unclean or smelly person.

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HUSKY__HANK 3/20/2008 2:50PM

  I am sorry for your loss. Sending warm thoughts your way

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KATIE781 3/20/2008 10:45AM

  I'm so sorry to hear about your Aunt. My Aunt passed away 5 years ago of Cancer as well. I was close to her too. The pain never really goes away, she's always here and I think of her everyday. I hope that you can find peace that she's not hurting anymore. That's what I had to think about, but I still miss her.

Good luck going through your closet and have fun purchasing new clothes!! How exciting.

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Back to reality

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I've been on vacation....lots of fun, lots of food, but lots and lots of walking too, so I'm not feeling too upset about it.

I'm tired tho. Really, really tired. Hmm, maybe I should get over myself and use my CPAP. Sigh. Why am I SO STUBBORN about this issue?

I had a difficult moment over the weekend, when my partner told me as lovingly as possible that I frequently smell bad. This is not from lack of showering - I do shower daily. But as the day wears on and I get warmed up....apparently I smell "funky". I'm aware this has been getting worse as I got heavier- but I had no clue OTHERS could smell me.

I could have died, pretty much, I was so embarrassed. I'm not sure what all can be done that I'm not already doing - shower, deoderant, panty liners....

I'm thinking more water is probably part of the answer - this weekend I did NOT get my water and I felt dehydrated often and it was at the end of the trip that this came up. I used to use baby powder and I think that helped some and I'll try that again. Perhaps changing my clothes right after work.....

Hell, I dunno. It's sort of depressed me badly. She said it out of love, she said it as kindly as possible, and in private. Certainly, I prefer to KNOW it's that bad and it would have been much worse for someone ELSE to say something rather than my partner....but ...yeah.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMANDAHE 3/19/2008 9:12PM

  Hugs. Sometimes no matter how nicely someone says something it can still hurt. Don't let it get you down, try changing to natural fibre products, remember to drink your water and remind yourself that we aren't meant to smell like a bunch of flowers - so don't go over the top with the deodorants, perfumes and the like.

Oh and for the record, imagine how much better you would feel with a good nights sleep - have you thought of using the cpap machine maybe every second night?

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KIPPENDOODLE 3/18/2008 9:00PM

    That is a hard one to hear, but it looks like you are looking at all possible causes. I can tell you from experience that drinking more water and wearing natural fibers can help tremendously. And I mean lots and lots of water! The beauty is that water benefits in so many other ways! You may want to check in with your physician, too. If you have some favorite outfits, it may be time to retire them.

I also wanted to tell you that you have a great pic and I'll bet your bellydance class is a blast!

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New challenge, new opportunity!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The LC is having another challenge and I stepped up and took it. They keep me active on the site and THINKING about my health and well, their challenges always ROCK!

Last night was a nice evening with dinner out...some window shopping...I ate all the things I would not normally now, lol, but I'm right back on track today.

Now, if I could just get my body clock tuned to daylight savings time, I'd be doing great. I'm so stinking tired it's not funny.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HUSKY__HANK 3/12/2008 7:38PM

  I hope my challenge helps keep you motivated. You can do it

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NOREGRET2010 3/12/2008 10:23AM

    The LC does a challenge most of the time. Those who sign up get divided into teams and given usually 2 daily tasks, one physical ("exercise 20 minutes more than usual") or social (tell us something about yourself). You get points for completing them on time and the team with the most points wins.

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MEWIEGELE 3/12/2008 10:18AM

    Its good to have a treat once in a while! As long as its just once in a while. lol. So whats the new challenge?

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