Thursday, May 01, 2008
Let's not talk about how long I've been on SP. Let's certainly not discuss how long I've been morbidly obese or how many times I've "tried" to lose weight.
Cause this time...I'm really doing it! I'm down 5 pounds this week....by keeping my calories within SP suggested range and exercising 15-30 minutes a day.
The very real truth? In all those other times...I never really DID it. Yeah...I tracked my food....until about 3 or 4 pm when I "ran out" of calories for the day....then well, what was the point? I kept on eating - not "much" I told myself - and whined about why wasn't I losing weight??
This is the first four days in a row I have stayed under the 1550 calorie limit - EVER. Let's be real...you can not continue to over eat, even if it's only a few hundred calories a day - continue your same level of exericise - and lose weight. I know that.
But I sure wasn't apparently ready to commit to giving up sugar or food to get there. At the beginning of this season's Biggest Loser...there was an episode where they showed the couples their demo tapes again after they'd been on the ranch a couple weeks and had some reality checks. One couple, I think it was the black husband and wife, made me cry. They began to both cry, they said they were killing themselves...and one thing I think it was the wife said about their food consumption "There's no way we can work off that much food".
That's the lie I've told myself for so long I believed it. That statement has haunted me if you want the truth - because it applied to me. I felt like I was busy and dancing a lot and hey, i worked out...sometimes! I shouldn't have this fat and I still wanted to eat what I wanted to eat, dammit.
So I played with weight loss, played with SP....and bitched and cried about how I couldn't lose weight no matter what I did.
Guess what? I'm really doing the program....and I'm really losing weight! I went to bed last night thinking happy thoughts about wow this really does work..you know if you just DO it, lol.....and I had a moment' panic - what if I don't stick with it?? Can I take one more failure?
Then a very clear decision in my heart came to be.... I've just proven I can do it - I can do this without cheating - without lying to myself. I AM doing this! I'm really doing it!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Yesterday, I felt like I was eating non-stop, but I logged every bit and still came in under the 1550 high end, with a hundred or so calories to spare!
The elliptical my friend is loaning me will be here tonight, if all things go well...and that will be good start to really upping my cardio.
I've lost 3 pounds, while I was sick I popped right back up to 247 from 240....so I'm really releived to see it starting to come back off again.
Still in pretty good spirits about it all, today they advertized donuts in the break room, and I just went to lunch right then, so I didn't have to see them, smell them, have someone bring me one to be "nice" - just wasn't around for it. Whew, dodged that bullet, lol.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Yesterday went really well - I stayed well within my calorie range and let me tell you that is a HUGE struggle for me so that's a great way to start. Having tea w/ a packet of splenda instead of my 300 calorie coffee with stuff in it made a huge difference to say the least.
I got probably 30-45 total minutes in rather than the hour I aimed for, but I'm okay with that.
I feel on-track...strong....determined. Here's to another day to work on building my 40 day streak to health and success.....
Monday, April 28, 2008
uh, well, actually 40 days and 39 nights...until I compete in the pro category at BD USA. After being sick the better part of the last month...I feel the dogs of pressure nipping at my heels...today is Day 1. I'll list my plan...and each day I'll list what worked and what didn't work and adjust from there.
The goal: To really increase my cardio ability so I don't come off the stage huffing and puffing and to look as good as I can look in costume.
5-6 meals including 200-300 calories each. If I get hungry in between, I can have a piece of fruit. I know all too well how I do with deprivation...I flip out and eat every thing in the house. So, that's where I'm starting.
Cardio - Today at least one hour total of cardio, including 2 15 minute walks at work and home work out.
Stretching before bed.
Journaling - working through the crap in my head on paper, not with my head stuck in the fridge or pantry AVOIDING it.
I put BD USA at the forefront of this personal challenge, but in truth, it's been deeply triggered by seeing my dad in the hospital over the weekend. He must weigh 500 pounds...he is killing himself. No thanks. I don't want to do that to myself, or my kids and future grandchildren.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Is it the Girl Scouts motto that's "Be Prepared"? Don't recall..but I'm taking it as my own for the next few days.
I'm slowly getting better, less coughing...feeling strength return. I'm itchy to work out again, but I'm not rushing it this time. So I'm spending the next few days planning my course of action. As of Monday, I will have six weeks till I compete at Bellydancer USA.
I have fallen way, way off track as far as the level cardio I wanted to achieve, amount of work on the routine done, and weight? Uh....I suspect this last week I've gone the WRONG way on the scale.
So, I'm allowing myself till Monday to be fully well, or darn close to it. In the mean time I'm planning my food, my cardio, my strength and my dance stuff for the next six weeks so I can meet my goal of at the very minimum, not embarrassing the hell out of myself on that stage June 14.
BE PREPARED. That's what I'm focusing on: Preparing my plan, putting it into action, FOLLOWING THROUGH and feeling satisfied that I did what I needed to do, regardless of the outcome of the competition. I can do this.
I'll keep saying that daily until I believe it: I CAN DO THIS!
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