Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Yesterday, I felt like I was eating non-stop, but I logged every bit and still came in under the 1550 high end, with a hundred or so calories to spare!
The elliptical my friend is loaning me will be here tonight, if all things go well...and that will be good start to really upping my cardio.
I've lost 3 pounds, while I was sick I popped right back up to 247 from 240....so I'm really releived to see it starting to come back off again.
Still in pretty good spirits about it all, today they advertized donuts in the break room, and I just went to lunch right then, so I didn't have to see them, smell them, have someone bring me one to be "nice" - just wasn't around for it. Whew, dodged that bullet, lol.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Yesterday went really well - I stayed well within my calorie range and let me tell you that is a HUGE struggle for me so that's a great way to start. Having tea w/ a packet of splenda instead of my 300 calorie coffee with stuff in it made a huge difference to say the least.
I got probably 30-45 total minutes in rather than the hour I aimed for, but I'm okay with that.
I feel on-track...strong....determined. Here's to another day to work on building my 40 day streak to health and success.....
Monday, April 28, 2008
uh, well, actually 40 days and 39 nights...until I compete in the pro category at BD USA. After being sick the better part of the last month...I feel the dogs of pressure nipping at my heels...today is Day 1. I'll list my plan...and each day I'll list what worked and what didn't work and adjust from there.
The goal: To really increase my cardio ability so I don't come off the stage huffing and puffing and to look as good as I can look in costume.
5-6 meals including 200-300 calories each. If I get hungry in between, I can have a piece of fruit. I know all too well how I do with deprivation...I flip out and eat every thing in the house. So, that's where I'm starting.
Cardio - Today at least one hour total of cardio, including 2 15 minute walks at work and home work out.
Stretching before bed.
Journaling - working through the crap in my head on paper, not with my head stuck in the fridge or pantry AVOIDING it.
I put BD USA at the forefront of this personal challenge, but in truth, it's been deeply triggered by seeing my dad in the hospital over the weekend. He must weigh 500 pounds...he is killing himself. No thanks. I don't want to do that to myself, or my kids and future grandchildren.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Is it the Girl Scouts motto that's "Be Prepared"? Don't recall..but I'm taking it as my own for the next few days.
I'm slowly getting better, less coughing...feeling strength return. I'm itchy to work out again, but I'm not rushing it this time. So I'm spending the next few days planning my course of action. As of Monday, I will have six weeks till I compete at Bellydancer USA.
I have fallen way, way off track as far as the level cardio I wanted to achieve, amount of work on the routine done, and weight? Uh....I suspect this last week I've gone the WRONG way on the scale.
So, I'm allowing myself till Monday to be fully well, or darn close to it. In the mean time I'm planning my food, my cardio, my strength and my dance stuff for the next six weeks so I can meet my goal of at the very minimum, not embarrassing the hell out of myself on that stage June 14.
BE PREPARED. That's what I'm focusing on: Preparing my plan, putting it into action, FOLLOWING THROUGH and feeling satisfied that I did what I needed to do, regardless of the outcome of the competition. I can do this.
I'll keep saying that daily until I believe it: I CAN DO THIS!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
So said the doc when I finally broke down and dragged myself into his office Monday. I've been coughing non-stop - once I started, I can't seem to stop. It's left me feeling like a wrung out wash cloth - limp and drained.
He said, nope, not pneumonia. Not bronchitis. More like I've been pretty sick, I now have a sinus infection, the pollen is really doing it's thing the last week or so which is triggering my asthma....and so my lungs are extra sensitive and spasming/coughing at just about every insult, no matter how small. "Twitchy lungs". He then admonished me about being so impatient with myself...expecting my body to recoup from whatever nasty virus started the whole thing in just a few mere days...and not giving myself sufficient rest and time to get well.
But..... I had things I wanted to do!! We were short staffed at work and I felt guilty.....and..... he's totally right. I'm really not good at not doing anthing...Call it part of my ADD or what have you..."rest" is not really in my vocabulary. If I'm not doing something...I feel...................guilty. Edgy. Crabby. I get depressed, fast.
And that lack of caring for myself has left me right where I am - tired and weak, having a hard time getting well. I rushed back into work, I rushed back into dance...I rushed into doing the things I wanted to do on top of it. So, regardless of those things I wanted to get done ....regardless of my internal bashing myself with guilt...I'm working the rest of the week on recuperating. Allowing myself space to get well. Not beating myself up over lost exercise, dance work, house work blah blah blah.
I * will * learn * to * care * for * myself!! It's never too late to learn new skills, aye?
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