NOREGRET2010   48,603
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Being obese and the small humiliations that add up....

Monday, November 17, 2008

I'm supposed to have knee surgery Friday. This was scheduled almost 6 weeks ago. At that time, they saw me and they weighed me and I weighed just at 250.

Today, four days before surgery, they call to tell me I am too heavy to have my surgery at the surgicenter, it will have to be rescheduled at the hospital because of the "increased risk due to your obesity."

Tears are simply rolling down my face..along with my mascara. They knew how much i weighed a month or more ago. I'm in pain...but suddenly today, I'm too fat to have my surgery at the surgicenter. I'm frustrated. I'm angry. I'm discouraged beyond belief.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUESKIESAHEAD 11/18/2008 8:06AM

  That's so rude of those doctors! They should have told you the second they weighed you, not right before your surgery. They're just trying to make you safer though, so be glad you'll be at the hospital. I think they were jerks about it though :S

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SHELIAKAYB 11/17/2008 6:30PM

  Dear Sweet Person, This also happened to me once. It is so humilating I know. Just try to think of it as a small setback to be taken care of asap. Just imagine how much more you can walk and excercise when your knee is in better shape. Good luck and good wishes to you! emoticon

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JIBBIE49 11/17/2008 2:21PM

    Hon, they SHOULD have told you that when they weighed you, but they didn't. Having worked as a nurse, I well understand WHY they want you at the hospital, as at the SC they don't have "Code" support there if something goes wrong, like they do at the hospital. Obesity is a real factor in dealing with a patient.
At least they are being considerate and not greedy about the money and keeping you there.

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On track, day 2

Friday, November 14, 2008

Do you know how long I've been on Spark? A pretty long time.

This a.m., when I logged in and looked around I saw posts that said things like "two months and 30 pounds lost!" Wow.

My lack of self discipline is showing. Really showing. Cause I'm back at my highest weight, EVER. There are some circumstances, an injury and upcoming surgery; stress out the hoo ha; depression. Yeah. Stuff.

But the big reality is I haven't been DOING it - again. I talk about it, I think about it, but I don't DO it.

Yesterday was day 1, for probably the 100th time in my adult life. I remind myself it is never too late to lose weight, never too late to get your health under control, never too late grow as long as I'm breathing.

So yesterday, I stayed within my calorie range and I know that because I tracked every bite that went in my mouth. My fat was too high; however, so I plan on making sure that today it is more in range. I've already eating a high-fiber, low fat breakfast and tracked it.

I made it through day 1. I'm going to make it through day 2. And day 3. And day 4. And all the other days, step by step.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 11/14/2008 11:14AM

    I so understand where you are coming from. I just go up and down two pounds and have been at 179-181 range for months now, and I am so sick of it.
I'm studying up on doing a "cleanse" and I'm thinking that I can get myself "moving" (no pun intended) again. I know being menopause isn't helping.

Here is the link for the photos of my son's new apartment in Los Angeles. He got a "bargain" for $2400/mo. He isn't moving to Malaysia as his boss says he can travel over there as he is needed and he wanted him at the main company office in Los Angeles. He's work there 11 years already.


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What to do?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

When your job has lost its luster? When you feel burned out...perhaps even dread going to work - BUT you are at the top of your payscale with incredible bennies? '

If I was dead miserable, I'd quit, regardless of pay/bennies. It's not worth my sanity you know? But I think I have the "10 year itch" - I've been here a long time. I know my job inside and out. Workplace politics have heated up a lot in the last couple years...I'm being fought tooth and nail by some on implementing a mandatory program for our field and it's discouraging and demoralizing. I like what I do...but I'm sure tired of the bullsh*t that goes with doing it where I do it!

So what to do? What do you do when you can't afford to leave?
1. You make the best of it. Suck it up and go.
2. You do the best job you can possibly do - no use feeling guilty on top of all that other stuff!
3. You remind yourself as often as necessary that this is your JOB, not your whole life.
4. You make sure you have a life outside of work.

That's my list. What do YOU do when you are stuck in this kinda position????

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOREGRET2010 11/12/2008 2:39PM

    Jibbie - Don't I know it about the economy! there ARE no jobs here. So it's not like it's even a possibility unless I moved! I'm just feeling underwhelmed with love for my job, lol and hoping to find ways to cope.

one of the ways I SHOULD have listed was "BE GRATEFUL YOU EVEN HAVE A JOB!!"

Believe me I know! I should have said so tho. Thanks for reminding me!

I'm just working on doing a good job today and let tomorrow take care of itself!

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JIBBIE49 11/12/2008 2:29PM

    I'd say with the economy like it is (and I think it will get much worse over the next 4 years), you should stay where you are until you have a REALLY secure place to go to. PLAN.

I worked some crappy jobs in my life. I use to "imagine" I was in Hawaii on the beach working in a lovely resort hotel. emoticon

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NANCYBFULLER 11/12/2008 11:26AM

    I am so with you. I want to quit work so bad, but we still have a mortgage payment. 31,000 left to pay.

I try to make the most of it.
I pray about it often.
I remind myself that I am where I am for a reason, and I keep looking for ways to pay extra on my mortgage.

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Put my foot in it

Friday, November 07, 2008

Well, ms passive-aggressive pushed me one too many times this a.m., and I snapped and over-reacted...only to find out she was right about what she was going on about.

I feel about 2 inches tall.

Being the master that she is, she turned the tables immediately and had it looking like I am a raging bi-otch.

Yippee skippee. I'm so glad it's Friday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    lol. That sucks. But raging bi-otches are alot more interesting!

I'm very intrigued by this passive agressive person on your job. Keep us posted.

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JIBBIE49 11/7/2008 1:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Almost Friday!

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Last couple of weeks have just DRAGGED!

Health: Still sick, wondering if it isn't Bronchitis. Yippee skippee.

Food: I'm trying really hard to eat "real" food...whole food, less processed food. That's my focus this week. Not to use my calories on fiber-less, vitamin-less, nutrient-less "food". Also working on removing diet coke from my day. THAT one is freaking HARD.

Emotions: Feeling okay, albiet a little snippy, lol. When the Passive-Aggressive Coworker asked me a question, then asked "are you sure?" Then said, "I don't think that's right. I'm going to go check with blah blah" I turned around and said, "Be my guest!" I was a tad snippy I think. After a couple weeks of her acting out (i.e. asking me how to do something, then doing it specifially different; questioning every statement I make; doing her own thing rather than the team priorities) I just opened my mouth adn let it out.

Possibly, I should do that more often than stuffing the feelings associated with that. I read lately about dealing with the PA personality and many said, "confront them directly. "That hurt my feelings." etc, because if they "get away" with bad behavior it only encourages them. If they think they might get called on their behavior, they will think twice.

maybe. Maybe not, lol.

What have you done lately to "stand up for yourself"? Enquiring minds wann know!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 11/7/2008 12:07PM

    That co-worker sounds like a "pain in the arse." emoticon

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PIXIESTC 11/6/2008 3:02PM

    stuffing feelings = stuffing mouth that's bad! Feeling like stuffing your fist in someone else's mouth doesn't help much either. Stand up...just a little...and let yourself get used to it.

What did I do...told a woman in my dance class that her 'funny' comments about me weren't so funny in my mind. She hasn't said a mean thing about me since...nor about anyone else!

Make me feel bad will ya...I'll show you...who feels like a jerk now?!?

We so totally rock...

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KASOSWIFE 11/6/2008 1:43PM

    I have to say that pop/soda is soooooo hard to take out of your diet. I am addicted to Pepsi. I would have 3-4 cans a day! It has been almost 2 weeks and I haven't had any. I have decided that from now on I am not buying pop I am completely skipping that isle in the grocery store! I will have some if I go out to eat but that is it. it is hard though. I have been having headaches like crazy. I think it is withdrawl, but I CAN DO IT. YOU CAN TOO!


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CNTRYGRIL24 11/6/2008 1:40PM

    I havent done a darn thing. It makes me so sad. I am so passive and I get so worried what people will think of me.

I am sure it would feel great to stand up and do something about it...Maybe one day, I just don't have the confidence now.

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