Friday, November 07, 2008
Well, ms passive-aggressive pushed me one too many times this a.m., and I snapped and over-reacted...only to find out she was right about what she was going on about.
I feel about 2 inches tall.
Being the master that she is, she turned the tables immediately and had it looking like I am a raging bi-otch.
Yippee skippee. I'm so glad it's Friday.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Last couple of weeks have just DRAGGED!
Health: Still sick, wondering if it isn't Bronchitis. Yippee skippee.
Food: I'm trying really hard to eat "real" food...whole food, less processed food. That's my focus this week. Not to use my calories on fiber-less, vitamin-less, nutrient-less "food". Also working on removing diet coke from my day. THAT one is freaking HARD.
Emotions: Feeling okay, albiet a little snippy, lol. When the Passive-Aggressive Coworker asked me a question, then asked "are you sure?" Then said, "I don't think that's right. I'm going to go check with blah blah" I turned around and said, "Be my guest!" I was a tad snippy I think. After a couple weeks of her acting out (i.e. asking me how to do something, then doing it specifially different; questioning every statement I make; doing her own thing rather than the team priorities) I just opened my mouth adn let it out.
Possibly, I should do that more often than stuffing the feelings associated with that. I read lately about dealing with the PA personality and many said, "confront them directly. "That hurt my feelings." etc, because if they "get away" with bad behavior it only encourages them. If they think they might get called on their behavior, they will think twice.
maybe. Maybe not, lol.
What have you done lately to "stand up for yourself"? Enquiring minds wann know!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
I'm sick. Like sick, sick. Goopy sinuses, chest congestion and pain with cough...I couldn't figure out what was "wrong" with me all weekend...I was apparently getting sick.
I don't pay enough attention to myself to even figure out when I'm sick! Years of pushing down my feelings, needs, even physical aches and pains have left me clueless about my own body and health.
So well trained in "put yourself last" - I didn't even recognize I was sick! That's just really annoying me right this minute! I've made some good changes - but I'm so out of touch with my own body it's not funny.
Love yourself first. I need it tattooed on my forehead (in reverse so I can read it in the mirror!). In fact, I'm going to post it on a sticky on my monitor RIGHT NOW! I spend 8 hours a day here for work - I remind myself of appointments, to do stuff, I guess I need to remind myself to care for myself!
What have YOU done to care for the body you are in today?
Monday, November 03, 2008
So far, today is a better day. A perfect day? Nope. But a better day than I've been having.
What will I do today about my health?
1. I will take my Rx meds AND I will take tylenol as necessary so the pain of my aching knee/joints doesn't get "ahead" of me.
2. I will eat 5 servings of fruits/veggies.
3. I will WORK during dance practice tonight and not just 'move through it'.
What I already did:
I got up, showered, did hair and makeup and came to work.
I ate breakfast.
I've posted here.
Whew. When you don't feel good, when you're blue, when life seems too hard...those things seem pretty durn big.
What did YOU do today for your health?? Enquiring minds want to know.....
Sunday, November 02, 2008
I am struggling with a difficult fall. Not any one thing i can pin it on....just odds and ends of "stuff" leaving me tired, unmotivated, achy etc.
I ache all the time - is it arthritis? I never knew I HAD arthritis before so I would shrug off the aches and pains, as the weather has gotten colder tho, it's almost impossible to do without tylenol. I hate taking meds so I put it off till I'm seriously hurting - probably not the best idea right now.
Some depression - missing my aunt who died this spring, old stuff. Financial stress (gee, who doesn't have THAT right now?). Just having a hard time pulling myself out of it.
Uninspired to dance, do art, do much of anything but sleep or hide in a book. I need to get motivated but all my usual ways aren't doin' the job!
Well, enough whining about what I HAVEN'T been doing! What HAVE I done? I've started the second sock of the pair I'm knitting. I have a serious problem not finishing things, so it was a pretty good deal to cast off the first sock and IMMEDIATELY cast on for the second!
I've been doing my makeup and hair every day for work. Sounds easy enough I know, but if you struggle with depression it can be a big deal, so that's a huge plus for me!
I've been getting most of my hours at work, also a big deal when you are depressed.
I'm on week 4 of a 6 week class session I'm teaching and I've made it through them so far. When I can't get excited about dance class, there's a problem. This term, just getting through it has meant success.
Okay, listing what I've done is much more helpful than listing the million things I'm not getting done or feel I stink at. sigh. I haven't worked on my goals last week or even really THOUGHT about them.
spark is a huge aide for me in goals, so I'll go back to listing them here and checking in on them.
1. Dance videos 3 x this week.
2. AT LEAST a walk 4 x this week, the gym if I can drag myself there.
3. Get my 5 fruits/veggies.
It's a start.
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