NOREGRET2010   48,784
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Motivation

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Today's reflective email, what do you do with motivation - about how it doesn't happen on it's own - you have to make it happen, struck a note with me this a.m.

How am I staying motivated right now? By logging in to spark daily (I think I'm at 9 or 10 days in a row, a miracle), interacting with people on the site who are walking their talk and doing their best. By reaching out to others and allowing them to support me back (by the way, what an outpouring of support I got yesterday - THANK YOU to all!). By joining challenges and being active on the boards.

That said, I've bitten off more than I can chew with the Making Me Important challenge on the Just Do It team. It's not happening. But it was a good look at what I'm doing (and not doing) - so nothing is wasted. I am going to be content with sticking to my spark streaks and my Wii fit Challenges for the rest of the month.

Another beautiful, below zero day. Another day to try to get it right. So what do YOU do to keep your motivation for this journey strong? Enquiring minds want to know....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITKAT2010 12/10/2009 6:21PM

    It took me months to get through the first full week of this teams challenge. It was a little different and not so focused.

Why not do another go of it this coming Monday. No guilt for not finishing it.

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CYCLEMEL 12/10/2009 3:16PM

    Nice post - thank you! SP is a huge part of my motivation right now! I love seeing people that I have come to know over the past few months being successful. I also know that when I am not successful they are here for me, as I am there for them. Keep going strong!

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JULIEIRENE 12/10/2009 12:58PM

    Thanks so much for the encouragement and support. I think being engaged here helps us stay more honestly self-evaluative, and make decisions like this one in terms of what is right for our bodies and circumstances, and how to set challenging but realistic goals. For me, staying active here is definitely a motivator. I am glad I have my emails set so that I have a reminder every day, and I too find the daily reflective email a generally good source of inspiration. Finding ways to keep my workout fresh and experimenting with new foods helps me too - so I never feel like I'm in a rut! :)

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Standing up for myself

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

I have not had a lot of training or practice at standing up for myself. It is a learning experience every time. If you don't have issues with being a tiny bit assertive, it may seem strange to you. "why don't you just ***?" Well, I came from a home with an extremely mentally ill, untreated parent. I didn't get the tools I could have used early on, and I'm still learning some of them.

Like standing up for myself.

My financial situation is pretty dire. Unemployment here is one of the top in the nation. My partner has been unemployed for quite some time and there are no jobs. My ex husband had a stroke in september and needless to say, isn't working but is in rehab trying to learn to walk and talk again, so no child support. So I am it for the support of our family of 4. It's been tight, and now my front heater in the car has gone out and I have no savings to dip into, and no one to ask for help. So I asked for a draw at work. We are allowed by our handbook to ask for a draw quarterly. I have not taken one this quarter, or last quarter for that matter.

I submitted the request via email Monday (paper trail). No response. The person whom I have to ask has a 6-figure yearly income and thinks I am well paid and shouldn't have financial problems (yes, she has told me this). Never mind she makes many times what I do and is single and I support three other people. Still, no reply to my request whatsoever.

Yes, I know she could be busy, she could have forgotten, etc. I accept that. But I also know I have a history with this person and I'm pretty darn sure she feels I just don't "need" it. In the past, I would have just held it all in and let it go and tried to survive without it. Today, I sent a politely worded email that I haven't heard back from her, this is not a frivolous request - it is 10 below here and I have no front heater! my car is icing up on the inside in less than 5 minutes on the road. I need a draw to get my car fixed, please. If I am being refused the draw, please just let me know.

I did it. I feel sort of nauseaous inside, but I did it.

Edited to add: I recieved a sharply worded email that I was rushing her - she'd been "very busy", but had now granted my draw request. It's baloney. It would have taken 5 seconds to hit reply and say she had received it etc. So...she can be pissy if she likes, but I stood up for myself and I didn't do anything wrong, period. Someday, when I'm out of school and I work my way up to making that kind of money and have that status - holding the fate of the "little people" in my hands - I will not be unkind simply because I can. Grrr.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANDRAKDEE 12/9/2009 9:17PM

    Congratulations! Standing up for yourself will be easier in the future.

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FITKAT2010 12/9/2009 6:18PM

    I am proud of you. It took courage to send the 1st request and then to be patient knowing what she feels. Then to do a 2nd message was more courage.

You learned this lesson well.

Kudos to you!

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SHELLTHERUNNER 12/9/2009 3:32PM

    Way to go! Learning to be assertive is a challenge if you were never given the tools to begin with. been there, done that. Even now it is a work in progress! Good for you and I hope you get your car fixed.

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DARKANGELKISS88 12/9/2009 1:09PM

    WOOO HOOO!!! You go girl. I too grew up with a mother who till this day is unstable. It took me a while to stick up for myself and am still working on it. As for that lady she needs to stick to her job and give you a draw not a hard time of wether or not you make too much. Hugs to you and many blessings.
~Pixie~

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KAMINLENA 12/9/2009 11:53AM

    I'm so proud of you!! I have a really, incredibly difficult time with confrontation as well (and I'm intimately familiar with that sense of nausea!)

At the same time, I'm so sorry that you're in such a rough spot. Hopefully the economy will start to swing soon...

Hang in there!!
-- Cindy

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L-OSTER8 12/9/2009 10:52AM

  People with money have a tendency to like to make other people squirm . . . but standing up for yourself is a good thing!

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SATURDAY63 12/9/2009 10:50AM

    Good for you! Don't worry, you only did what your job says you can do. Following up is responsible and professional. Don't let that person make you feel bad for doing a normal and right thing! I also hate confrontation and have to do alot of self talk before I can pull it off!

Good luck! Let us know how it turns out!

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MRSLEENY 12/9/2009 10:38AM

    You go girl. You need to stand up for what is right. It doesn't matter what her excuse is, it's her job and she needs to do it. Believe me, standing up for yourself does get easier. You are the only one in control of your life. Don't let what you think someone is thinking control what you need to do to live a healthy life, physically and mentally.

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time. It will get better. (I know, easy for me to say) This is a great place to come and talk and ask questions. It took me a long time to just talk. No one judges, they are just here. Nice place to fall.

Good luck to you and your family. Stay strong!

Carlene emoticon

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A_BELLE 12/9/2009 10:33AM

    No, you did the right thing. Good for you! Don't feel nauseaous, she ignored your email and you followed up. That is COMPLETELY normal procedure. I hope your draw comes thru!

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Cleaning house..

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

In the last two years I've been off SP waaaay more than I was on. I'm working on consistency and logging in daily, improving my SP friendships etc, and decided to clean house.

I had a lot of spark friends, but when I looked them up, some of them hadn't been active in a REALLY long time. I deleted them. I looked at all the teams I was on...and I only accessed a portion of them. I deleted all but six. I can't participate in more than that realistically, some had more drama than I was interested in, and I just never felt a good fit with others. So I've kept the people and the teams that supported me and/or were active and still walking their walk and talking their talk.

I need support, and I need relationship on here to make this work. If we aren't friends and you are currently looking to seriously support others and receive support in return, friend me.

A fresh start...on a freaking cold day. -12 now. Brrrrr.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

A_BELLE 12/9/2009 10:36AM

    Hey girl, I'm in the same boat. I hope it's OK, but I've "friended" you. I need the same. Have a great Wednesday!

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FITKAT2010 12/9/2009 6:32AM

    This journey requires our participation. Part of that participation is re-evaluation. I've done this several times now.

Glad you are here!

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JULIEIRENE 12/8/2009 5:12PM

    Thanks so much for your note on my blog! I see this post and I see we are very much in sync, so let's keep in touch!

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What I'm proud of today

Monday, December 07, 2009

Some days, I have to force myself to pay attention to what I did right as opposed to the unending list of criticisms I have for my efforts. Part of that today is posting what I'm proud of.

1) I have logged in 5 days in a row to SP.
2) I have made all my spark streak goals.
3) I have exercised every single day, even if it was "only" 20 minutes on the Wii.
4) I did not overeat today when I felt sad over my dad dying and overwhelmed by financial burdens.
5) I have given 100% at work and not slacked.
6) I did hair and makeup today, a rare feat.
7) I kept my temper when my 15 yo reminded me of exactly how smart a@@ and obnoxious teenage girls can be.
8) I studied for my pyschology final exam, but did not obsess (too much).

This is a good enough day. I did good enough. I do not have to do 200% to be worthy. I'll just keep saying that to myself until I believe it...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TENNISJIM 12/8/2009 10:55AM

    Just putting yourself out there is an inspiration to everyone and you need to be proud of yourself. Way to go and keep it up. Before you know what happened, you'll be doing these things everyday without thinking about them. They'll become good habits.

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PRYDEQUEEN 12/7/2009 10:53PM

    Loved your blog! thank you!

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NOREGRET2010 12/7/2009 7:41PM

    Katmomma - There you have it. Why should i? why can i accept OTHERS inate value, but not my own? According to therapy - lack of practice and lack of support. I'm working on it. excessive self criticism seems to be a tough one to break for me.

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FITKAT2010 12/7/2009 7:07PM

    Why do you need to prove your value? You don't. Just accept you are valuable. That's enough.

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FINDYOURSHIMMY 12/7/2009 6:11PM

    I saw your blog from the Sparkling Belly Dancers team page...

Congrats on the progress today! I am proud of you and all you've accomplished. Way to stay positive, focused, and realistic.

emoticon

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They've got me pegged

Monday, December 07, 2009

If you didn't read this post yet, go do it. It's okay, I'll wait for you. : www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?post=can
_pride_make_a_difference_in_your_life


This has me so "pegged" I can't explain it. I've read it twice and I need to read and reflect on it more before I post more about it. The "clicks" and light bulbs going off in my head are pretty profound from this simple posting.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCPHEEZ 12/7/2009 11:20AM

    Thanks for posting that! It's so difficult sometimes to give yourself a break and focus on the good things. emoticon

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SACTOKAREN 12/7/2009 11:11AM

    That happens to me, too. Good job on spotting yourself. Good luck with making the changes necessary to move forward!

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