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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I'm tired. Really tired. This morning I wondered, what the h*ll was I thinking taking two PE classes this term? On top of dance Wed/Fri/Sun. I know it's the first week of full classes and that's part of my fatigue, dealing with the anniversary of Dad's death, and other stress is adding to it...but wow, I'm tired.

One thing I realized when I logged my exercise for yesterday, with the two PE classes, I'm way above my projected goal for exercise. I'd been ignoring the little "you are significantly above your expected exercise minutes and should adjust your calories" message thinking "Oh whatever". But this morning I paid attention, clicked the link and when I adjusted my exercise minutes, gained 300+ more calories a day, bumping me up to 2300 cal a day. That's really quite a bit.

Now, I haven't been tracking perfectly and I haven't been eating perfectly, but I can tell you I've not been eating THAT many calories. So that may also be why I'm dog tired. I also have been off my supplements - multivitamin, glucosamine/chondrotin, etc.

Why? uh....cause I'm crappy at taking pills. I don't like the vitamin taste I burp sometimes, I get heartburn, blah blah blah. I have a hard time remembering my allergy pill 2x a day and my antidepressant. Anything I remember over that is gravy, LOL. However, with as exhausted as I'm feeling right now - big hint to start taking my multivitamin again whether I enjoy it or not.

What good is all this exercise if I'm too tired to enjoy the benefits? this, too, will pass and I'll be glad I did it. In the meantime, I need to pay attention to some of those little details I put off....until I'm miserable.

One of these days, I might learn. You know, when I'm not so tired....


Yoga is hard

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Yeah, yeah, I felt great afterward....all loose and relaxed. But doing it? uh, freaking hard.

Worth it? Well, yeah...but geez I hope it gets easier!

Work stress is down, Hoo-rah. However, this week is the anniversary of my dad's death and I'm feelin' my feelin's from that. Just a reminder that there really is always something...and if I give in and eat over stuff, I could find a "reason" every day of the week.

Since my dad died, I've lost about 18 pounds and made some good changes in the way I eat and the amount I move. None of it is all perfect now of course, but you know, it's better. I've made some good changes and I am proud of what I've done so far and feel capable of doing more as it comes.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIEIRENE 1/12/2010 4:27PM

    I'm proud of you for the continued positive changes. And I hear ya on the yoga! They make it look so easy!!!! I do love it though!

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POOHLA711 1/12/2010 1:45PM

    I want to take a yoga class so bad! But I can't find one around here that fits my schedule. Keep with it! I hear it is awesome for you and I'm sure it will get easier as you get used to it.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my mom in 2008 and I think I miss her more now than I did the day that she passed. Stay strong and try to remember the good times. Whenever I feel sad about my mom, I always tell a funny story about her or think of one of my favorite memories of her. Then I usually end up smiling.
Have a great day!

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FLUBBERS 1/12/2010 12:42PM

    Congrats on you your weight loss! And I am sorry to hear about your Dad. Just try to remember why you are trying to get healthy when that feeling to eat comes back. I struggle with it too. It's a challenge we must face everyday. But learning and growing are how we move past it.
I am starting Yoga tonight. Finally found a beginners DVD since there are no classes near me that I can take. I have seen it have great results with other people though.

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Oh yeahhhhhh. That's right....

Monday, January 11, 2010

Apparently I need a lot of reminders.

Over the holiday break, I worked really hard ....and the scale kept going up. Then this last week, the first week back in college classes, I was too busy to get on the scale and see my weight and do wii. So I got on this a.m.....

to find I'd lost 5 pounds.

I keep forgetting that for my body at least, it takes time for it to show on the scale. So I'd been a little afraid to get on the scale for one....because I'd let those day-to-day fluctuations bug me into thinking I wasn't losing weight despite working hard at it.

Why do I forget that? Why do I allow fear and the day-to-day fluctuations control my thinking? I KNOW better. But, yep, I did it again.

My hard work was doing it's work...but it didn't show it RIGHT NOW and so I figured it wasn't doing it's job. Hmm. Maybe one of these days I'll remember!

Work stress is about 50% of Friday - but has potential to go right up again...yay!!!

But I've got yoga tonight - first real class since last week it was cancelled due to freezing fog. Something to look forward to!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIEIRENE 1/11/2010 4:17PM

    Woohoo! You go, girl! I hear you with the reminders --- it's so easy to want that immediate gratification. But look at how it's paying off in the long-term. I'm so proud of you!

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DANARRA 1/11/2010 12:22PM

    Dudette, tell me about it. The scale is a roller-coaster in disguise. Congrats on the 5! And good luck with work today.

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Sunday, January 10, 2010

I had plans for today. I still have 2 hours of dance class to teach....

and my arthritis is bugging the crap out of me. Every joint aches...After some's starting to lift, but I've lost a huge chunk of my day.

It was a reminder of many things.....I'm not 22 years old any more and able to push my way through physical obstacles. That this is a long journey and not a sprint - that keeps coming up and I'm tired of it, LOL. That my nutrition has sucked for years and changing it now is imperative, tho freaking hard. It was a reminder to be compassionate to myself - something I'm also not expert at.

Yippee skippee. Thank you modern drugs...I'm feeling better. Thank you Universe i'm able to have another day at working on my health. Thanks to my Spark buds who help keep me here and not wandering off into "this is too hard" land.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANARRA 1/11/2010 11:14AM

    Glad Aleve did the trick! And thanks for your support this weekend. It was a tough one.

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today is catch up day..

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Catch up on math homework, catch up on housework, catch up on dance stuff, catch up catch up!

Yesterday from about 3 pm on at work, the fireworks rolled! it was ugly. really ugly, but I th ink there will be improvement in the workplace energy. It was also an opportunity for HR to really see and hear what i've been dealing with for months. When it was done, she took me aside and said I am sorry. I had no idea it was THIS bad! Hello!!!! Thank goodness she saw what I've been seeing/hearing for months. the next few weeks will be a lot of hard work to build us into a team again. yippee skippee... but it will definitely be an improvement over the rampant dysfunction we have going on now!

I was reminded last night of what a long process "health" is for me. I had troupe practice - which meant for 2 hours we danced our butts off learning a new routine. I was covered in sweat when we were done and I felt good...but it was another reminder of how far i have to go. Not in a bad way...just..."oh yeah....that's why I'm doing all this isn't it? so I don't melt into a puddle half way through troupe!" I truly think ( and desperately hope!) that by the end of term with water aerobics/yoga/dance, my stamina will be up. What would realy facilitate that is to lose some freakng weight! at barely over 5' and carrying COULD I have reasonable stamina? I'm pretty sure any weight loss would help!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIEIRENE 1/9/2010 3:05PM

    I am so glad you feel this has been a turning point in your workplace environment. I'm sure it will still be a bumpy road for a bit, but it sounds like at least now it's going in the right direction and you have some facilitation in the process! Congrats! And, good for you for sweatin' it out last night! Sounds like fun & a good workout! Keep it up - you're doing an awesome job!

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PRYDEQUEEN 1/9/2010 11:21AM

    You ARE doing it!

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