Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I could have gotten sucked right down the depression drain today....
I'm tired of parenting - teenagers are a pain in the butt. I'm on my third 16 year old girl...and she is wearing the last bit of patience I had right out. Money is yet again...or is that still?.... a problem. Work stress is hanging in there at about 70%....down a bit from "this job is going to be the death of me" but still higher than is good for me. My partner is struggling emotionally and needs a lot from me right now.
It would be easy to slip into feeling bad mode. Focusing on the negative mode. Instead, right this minute, I CHOOSE to be grateful.
I'm grateful for the 16yo's obnoxiousness....because she has some heavy-duty health problems and yet...she's still able to be a typical annoying self centered snot head of a teenager. That's sort of fabulous, when you think about it.
I'm grateful for the job that's turning my hair gray....er, grayer....because it pays well and has excellent benefits, and I can make a difference here.
I'm grateful for the partner who is struggling...because she is the love of my life and through her, I have learned so much about myself.
I'm grateful I have as much money to move around as I do, because it could be a lot worse.
I'm grateful for my body, in all it's disrepair...because it carries me from one day to the next, one experience, one goal, and one moment of precious life to the next.
Gratitude is my mantra for the day. What are you grateful for? enquiring minds must know...
Monday, April 26, 2010
I had a great weekend! Shopping, time with friends, bellydance....Good times all around.
I feel inspired for dance again, which is a very good thing...
Also had a very good moment when I put on my costume.....and had to nab washcloths from the hotel bathroom to fill out the bra and my overskirt...lliterally fell right off me - right to the floor. I've not worn my costume for about 2 months...so this was a very good feeling. Through the magic of saftey pin technology, LOL the skirt stayed on during the performance. That the costume is "suddenly" too big is a great affirmation that things are changing body wise.
Which has also left me more motivated for health/weight loss and that is a very good thing....
Monday, April 19, 2010
Had a great weekend....dinner and a movie out with new friends, got to spend time with my sweetie, had a pretty relaxing day Sunday...all in all, a great weekend! Got my hair touched up and nails done - helps me to feel more positive when I look in the mirror when I know I look my best.
Today, had a 2 pound weight loss from last week and that felt really good - loss the last 2 weigh ins means I'm being consistent and that's often my pitfall. So all in all, pretty good stuff.
This is a short work week for me and I'm very excited about that, lol! After months of working 6 days a week, having a bit of time off is very exciting, LOL. We will take off for Portland Friday through Saturday. My dance troupe will perform at a dance festival on Saturday and we'll be packing the weekend with some great fun - watching a ton of bellydance at the festival, hitting Pasha's restaurant in downtown Portland for some professional bellydance goodness, a trip to Powell's City of Books, and general shopping in fun stores we do not have in my little rural town. Can't quite express my pleasure - we've not been out of town really in months and when you live in a rural area, it's pretty exciting to go to the big city, LOL.
Still working on 10k steps a day. My it's a slow progression - and of course that annoys me, I want it to be perfect 10 K now, right now! But I'm having steady improvement and that's got to be good enough.
Time to get off the computer and get ready for the day. here's hoping for some sunshine today, for me and for you, wherever you may be.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I took today off from work.
I never take days off work. Granted, I planned it, LOL. I didn't call in sick or anything - I'm just taking a vacation day.
specifically chose today - partner at school almost all day, kids in school all day.
That means, my introvert can be fed by what it craves most - silence. Just me and the dog. No TV, no radio on in the background. If I practice the routine for our upcoming performance, the music will be on but it will be intentional, you know?
I need silence, alone time, on a regular basis or I get overdone....anxious...depressed. I love people, I love my family, but I finally learned in my 30's - I really need alone time or i get worn thin and I turn into a complete witch. With the nature of life lately, I've had no alone time. I've also been forced to be more outgoing than usual due to training someone at work and that has taken a toll on me.
See, I can fake it really well. I teach dance classes and I perform and I train people at work and blah blah blah...and people assume I'm an outgoing kinda gal. Nope. Not. It takes a tremendous amount of energy for me to be social for long stretches when I'm not getting that alone time to recharge.
So today is my day to recharge. A day of silence, doing a few chores, reading, walking the dog, dance practice...and probably a very nice nap, LOL.
I didn't make it to zumba last night and was really disappointed. Even more disappointed when I saw I was no where near 10K steps at the end of the day. It's a new goal to restart and I'm going to work on adding 10% a day to get it up there. Because of course my first thought was I'll walk 3 x a day and THAT will get me to 10k. That is totally unreasonable considering my life. 10% increase, now that is reasonable.
Enjoy your day - or evening - if you're across the pond. Hugs.
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