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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I could have gotten sucked right down the depression drain today....

I'm tired of parenting - teenagers are a pain in the butt. I'm on my third 16 year old girl...and she is wearing the last bit of patience I had right out. Money is yet again...or is that still?.... a problem. Work stress is hanging in there at about 70%....down a bit from "this job is going to be the death of me" but still higher than is good for me. My partner is struggling emotionally and needs a lot from me right now.

It would be easy to slip into feeling bad mode. Focusing on the negative mode. Instead, right this minute, I CHOOSE to be grateful.

I'm grateful for the 16yo's obnoxiousness....because she has some heavy-duty health problems and yet...she's still able to be a typical annoying self centered snot head of a teenager. That's sort of fabulous, when you think about it.

I'm grateful for the job that's turning my hair, grayer....because it pays well and has excellent benefits, and I can make a difference here.

I'm grateful for the partner who is struggling...because she is the love of my life and through her, I have learned so much about myself.

I'm grateful I have as much money to move around as I do, because it could be a lot worse.

I'm grateful for my body, in all it's disrepair...because it carries me from one day to the next, one experience, one goal, and one moment of precious life to the next.

Gratitude is my mantra for the day. What are you grateful for? enquiring minds must know...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

A_BELLE 4/28/2010 6:58AM

    You definitely have the right attitude!!!! I struggle parenting a 2 year old so I can't even imagine what a 16 year old must be like! And I'll keep you and your partner in my thought and prayers. You are very lucky to have each other to love and support!
Hmmmm....what am I grateful for today? I'm grateful that my little 2 year old dictator has the health and energy to keep on doing what she does....also, she's probably keeping me young! I'm grateful to have the opportunity to go back to school and that my hubby has been so supportive. I'm grateful to have a home with beautiful spring flowers that bring me some serenity when i'm FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the blog. I needed it today emoticon

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KRO-BAR 4/27/2010 3:08PM

    I'm grateful for the wonderful awesome people in my life who have supported me through good and bad!

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KATCHAGIRL 4/27/2010 11:33AM

    VERY POSTIVE Blog!! emoticon THANK YOU for posting it and keep that attitude goin'!

I'm grateful for MANY MANY things, including this blog, but most of all, I'm grateful for being alive today.

Have a WONDERFUL day NOREGRET!! emoticon


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REDHATLADY9 4/27/2010 11:27AM


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HAPPY_HANK 4/27/2010 10:46AM


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ONETEXASCHICK 4/27/2010 10:28AM

    this was very inspiring. today i am grateful you posted this blog it remeinded me that even though everything may not seem great when you look at the big picture it is. thanks

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Yet another Monday post...

Monday, April 26, 2010

I had a great weekend! Shopping, time with friends, bellydance....Good times all around.

I feel inspired for dance again, which is a very good thing...

Also had a very good moment when I put on my costume.....and had to nab washcloths from the hotel bathroom to fill out the bra and my overskirt...lliterally fell right off me - right to the floor. I've not worn my costume for about 2 this was a very good feeling. Through the magic of saftey pin technology, LOL the skirt stayed on during the performance. That the costume is "suddenly" too big is a great affirmation that things are changing body wise.

Which has also left me more motivated for health/weight loss and that is a very good thing....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAPPY_HANK 4/26/2010 4:32PM


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JULIEIRENE 4/26/2010 10:44AM

    Yay for a great weekend and for loose clothes! That is amazing, lady! It sounds like you are doing really well! I am especially happy to hear you say you are inspired to dance again. Beautiful!

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KRO-BAR 4/26/2010 10:38AM

    emoticon Congrats!!

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PRYDEQUEEN 4/26/2010 9:49AM

    You are doing it! emoticon

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SHEALUNA 4/26/2010 9:37AM

Rock on! Don't you just love safety pin technology!

Glad you had a great weekend and are feeling the inspiration!

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Happy Monday...

Monday, April 19, 2010

Had a great weekend....dinner and a movie out with new friends, got to spend time with my sweetie, had a pretty relaxing day Sunday...all in all, a great weekend! Got my hair touched up and nails done - helps me to feel more positive when I look in the mirror when I know I look my best.

Today, had a 2 pound weight loss from last week and that felt really good - loss the last 2 weigh ins means I'm being consistent and that's often my pitfall. So all in all, pretty good stuff.

This is a short work week for me and I'm very excited about that, lol! After months of working 6 days a week, having a bit of time off is very exciting, LOL. We will take off for Portland Friday through Saturday. My dance troupe will perform at a dance festival on Saturday and we'll be packing the weekend with some great fun - watching a ton of bellydance at the festival, hitting Pasha's restaurant in downtown Portland for some professional bellydance goodness, a trip to Powell's City of Books, and general shopping in fun stores we do not have in my little rural town. Can't quite express my pleasure - we've not been out of town really in months and when you live in a rural area, it's pretty exciting to go to the big city, LOL.

Still working on 10k steps a day. My it's a slow progression - and of course that annoys me, I want it to be perfect 10 K now, right now! But I'm having steady improvement and that's got to be good enough.

Time to get off the computer and get ready for the day. here's hoping for some sunshine today, for me and for you, wherever you may be.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRYDEQUEEN 4/19/2010 11:32AM

    Way to go! So glad you are had a wonderful weekend and are gearing up for some fun! You so deserve all of this!

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SHEALUNA 4/19/2010 10:56AM

    You are full of AWESOME and WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Way to go on your weight loss. Consistency is key for me, too. I've definitely struggled with that, but I think I'm getting there. emoticon

I am sooooo jealous about your upcoming trip to Powells. So, so, so jealous! lol

I hope you have a FABULOUS time! Hurray for short work weeks!

BTW, because I am a nosy git, which town are you from? My mom is from Culver, can you believe? lol And my uncle was Chief of Police of Prineville for umpteen jillion years before he retired. Small world, eh?

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JULIEIRENE 4/19/2010 10:28AM

    Hey Lady! I am so glad to hear you had such a good weekend and are feeling good about yourself! What a gift! :) Sorry I've not been as good about checking in lately, but I appreciate your comments and support so much. Keep up the great work!

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CNICH11 4/19/2010 10:20AM

    2 lbs? You definetly need some emoticon and a great BIG your emoticon! Have a wonderful day!

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A mental health day

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I took today off from work.

I never take days off work. Granted, I planned it, LOL. I didn't call in sick or anything - I'm just taking a vacation day.

specifically chose today - partner at school almost all day, kids in school all day.

That means, my introvert can be fed by what it craves most - silence. Just me and the dog. No TV, no radio on in the background. If I practice the routine for our upcoming performance, the music will be on but it will be intentional, you know?

I need silence, alone time, on a regular basis or I get overdone....anxious...depressed. I love people, I love my family, but I finally learned in my 30's - I really need alone time or i get worn thin and I turn into a complete witch. With the nature of life lately, I've had no alone time. I've also been forced to be more outgoing than usual due to training someone at work and that has taken a toll on me.

See, I can fake it really well. I teach dance classes and I perform and I train people at work and blah blah blah...and people assume I'm an outgoing kinda gal. Nope. Not. It takes a tremendous amount of energy for me to be social for long stretches when I'm not getting that alone time to recharge.

So today is my day to recharge. A day of silence, doing a few chores, reading, walking the dog, dance practice...and probably a very nice nap, LOL.

I didn't make it to zumba last night and was really disappointed. Even more disappointed when I saw I was no where near 10K steps at the end of the day. It's a new goal to restart and I'm going to work on adding 10% a day to get it up there. Because of course my first thought was I'll walk 3 x a day and THAT will get me to 10k. That is totally unreasonable considering my life. 10% increase, now that is reasonable.

Enjoy your day - or evening - if you're across the pond. Hugs.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHEALUNA 4/15/2010 11:09AM

    I know exactly where you're coming from. Most people, even ones who know me well, believe me to be an extrovert. I'm not. I'm very much an introvert. While I am a total city girl and love the energy and excitement all the people buzzing about create (Guess why I love living in one of the most densely populated cities on the planet!), without a great deal of what my cousin calls my "puttering time", I would go stark raving nuts!

Huzzah for mental health days! Enjoy yours! emoticon

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NEWYEARME 4/15/2010 10:52AM

    I too need an occasional ME day... No one else in the house but me. I think I'm about due for one of those REALLY soon!!!!

Walking three times a day is probably not reasonable (I know it wouldn't be for me). Just do your best... That's all we can do.


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PRYDEQUEEN 4/15/2010 10:48AM

    I totally understand this! I MUST retreat to my "cave" as my partner calls it on a regular basis! I so crave my quiet! Enjoy your time!

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Reflection on a year

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

April 13, 2009 I walked into Jenny Craig and said "Help". I needed a jumpstart to my weight loss...I needed accountability.. I needed help figuring out what real portions were.

I was 45 years old and I weighed my all-time high, 255.5 pounds. At just under 5' 1", my BMI was 48.2.

I tend to want miracles and want them RIGHT NOW, thank you very much! Don't we all in weight loss?

This was a year of up and down - emotionally and on the scale. I did Jenny Craig for 3 months. I learned a lot through it and I don't regret it.

Today, I weigh 240.5 and dropped from a size 24 to a size 20 pants.

This is not miraculous by any means. The perfectionist part of me is disgusted and says "that's hardly anything!"

I'm telling my inner perfectionist to shut up and simply be pleased I lost 15 pounds this year. No, it's not a dramatic "Biggest Loser" kinda loss....but it's a loss.

I'm back on working toward 10K steps a day, I've added a weekly Zumba class into the mix. I now eat an average of 5 fruits and veggies a day and I no longer get drive through coffees. My portions are smaller and my pants are smaller.

I'd like to lose a lot more weight. But I'm not willing or able to make myself crazy over it. Slow is better than not at all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Stay focused. Keep going. And you will get there!

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SHEALUNA 4/14/2010 2:24PM

    Slow IS better. It's been proven that weight loss done slowly over time is more likely to stay, um, LOST!
Huzzah for 15 pounds gone!
Huzzah for smaller pants!
Huzzah for better nutritional decisions.
Huzzah for Zumba! emoticon
You shake it, girl. Like a Polaroid picture! emoticon

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