Saturday, May 15, 2010
Ah....the weekend. Sitting in my pjs drinking coffee and fooling around on the web.
Register for fall classes at 9:30 a.m. After a year of part time college, I'm thinking about chaning directions. I started out wanting to get a psych degree....and now..I'm not so sure. I was encouraged to think about what I could do if there were no barriers......and that was easy. I'd teach adults - preferably in a higher ed setting. I love working with women in dance...as a dance teacher I seem to end up being instructor...life coach....therapist...all rolled up into one. I'd like to explore that more in a setting that I can continue in my over 50 years.
while I plan on continuing to dance until i die .... I'm realistic enough to know with my arthritis, I may not want to teach for 20 more years. The choice may be taken from me by the arthritis issues.
I have some old tapes that play about why am I going to college at 46 anyway? Education, specifically education for women, was not encouraged in my family. "Good" women got married, popped out kidEs, and did church activities. "Too much" education was to be avoided, because well...then you might have questions about that plan! Needless to say, individual thought (again, especially for women) was not encouraged.
I can hear my dad saying it's a waste of money. I can hear my grandma, mom and aunts clucking about how some cousin or other who went to collge and got non-family sanctioned ideas was "too smart for her own good".
So in moments of fatigue...or when my brain hurts from homework....I wonder, what the H#!! do I think I'm doing? Especially now that my goals are evolving and I'm moving away from counseling to teaching higher ed, which would require at the very least a masters...you know, MORE school!
Other than registering today...chores, walking Bijou the wonder dachshund, hitting a movie with friends....and some dedicated self care time...did I mention chores?, LOL. the sun is shining ...and that is a glorious thing.
Friday, May 14, 2010
You know when it's been one of THOSE weeks....hellacious busy at work and you are SO ready to be anywhere BUT your place of employement?
Picture that feeling. I know you can.
Now picture that one coworker that sorta makes you nuts. Come on, we all have one....
My example of that scenario is right in my face this a.m. She has a NEED to control. I have a need NOT to be controlled by her, LOL. Those two needs are clashing.
It's been a very long week, and I fear my patience is thinned. I'm trying to ask myself, "Is this important? Is it important enough for me to take a stand on it? Why is it annoying me so much? Can't I just let it go and smile and nod and walk on?"
Actually, I already know the answer. This woman reminds me so much of my mother (my schizophrenic, passive-aggressive, sugary-sweet-to-your-face-baracuda-behind-
your-back mother) and it triggers the h#%# out of me.
So I'm trying to discern - is this an issue where I really NEED to stand up to her, or is it simply annoying me because of her resemblance to my mother and that makes me want to put her in her place?
Right now, I decided that I would A) Write about it, because that tends to help me order my thoughts, B) Breathe breathe breathe, C) Remind myself that I dislike it when I act no better than her simply because I've been triggered into it, and D) Remind myself I only have 7 hours and 15 minutes left of this week.
OY. How do YOU deal with your "trigger" person? Do tell. Before I melt down.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
I am for all intents and purposes, a very light drinker. I may have 6 drinks a year. This is likely the result of being married to a ragin' alcoholic for 14+ years, and a lot of early training on the evils of alcohol, LOL.
I do however, enjoy an occassional margarita...and being Cinco de Mayo...well, that makes me think of chips and salsa and margaritas! But...I'm going to resist. I've noted when I drink...I seem to snack so it's not just the alcohol that's adding up...it's anything else within reach that I can cram into my mouth. So...I think I'll skip the celebrations and go home.
Been a hard week, and yes, I do know it's only Wednesday! Lots of stress = mindless food shoveling so I've been working daily on being really aware of when I'm eating, and why I'm eating. Am I really hungry? Or is there just food there so I unthinkingly shove it in my face?
Mindless eating has undoubtly been responsible for some of the weight I'm packing around. You know...you take two cookies. You're doing several things...and suddenly you realize, hey, the cookies are gone! I didn't remember eating them, and I don't feel satisfied, so I'll have two more! and it goes on and on.
So paying attention? That needs to be a daily focus. Not eating and watching tv, or reading or doing other stuff that so absorbs me, I'm not aware of putting food in my mouth, chewing and swallowing.
Do you eat mindlessly? Any tips or tricks? Do tell!
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Unpleasantness at work is making this a very long week already....and it's barely Tuesday.
On the plus side, I'm eating oh-so-healthy steel cut oats for breakfast, a great choice if I do say so myself....on the negative side I didn't get remotely enough sleep and I feel crabby. Don't you wish you were still 3 years old and could get away with being crabby because you're overtired? Your mom would snuggle you down for a nap and when you got up all would be right again? Instead, being an adult and controlling oneself when you'd really just like to have a tantrum is so mundane.
At this week's dance class, I asked the following question "What's standing in the way of you being the best you can be?" Most of the ladies loved the question, but one (there's always one isn't there?) sent me a biting email the next day about how negative it was to assume that they weren't all at their best right then and how she doesn't think I was giving them credit and blah blah blah.
Um, it was supposed to be a question to get them thinking. If they felt at their best, they were welcome to say "hey, you know I feel like I'm at my best ever right now!!" But no one, including said complainer, said that. They mentioned ego, procrastination, over committment etc.
So here's YOUR chance. What's standing in the way of YOU being your best? and if you think you're at your best right now, go you! Say so!
Just don't gripe about how negative I'm being, LOL.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Don't care what you say...as I get older, wow does time FLY by!
So March was my birthday month and I was pretty focused on health and consistency. I achieved good things in March...and then April was sort of so-so. Now it's May already? Sheesh.
I'm picking up the slack again for May! Here are a few of my goals:
1. Lesbian Cafe May Challenge...the LC challenges are awesome and I'm committed! Let's do this thing!
2. Tracking, tracking, tracking.
3. I want to bust my highest SP Point record - THAT will keep me on SP!
4. Focus on low to no processed food. After only a short time of doing this, I ALREADY feel better. THAT'S inspiring to keep going.
5. Exercise. wearing my pedometer, and actively CHOOSING to work out daily.
Rather than the slug I've been lately, LOL.
Those are my May goals. What about you? Tell me even just one goal you have for May? YOU inspire me....so tell me already!
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