Wednesday, May 19, 2010
1) Motivation and consistency in weight loss - I'm feeling this getting shoved to the background of my attention due to "busy-ness" - extra work hours, kid activities that need my attention/presence, prepping for dance stuff.
2) Labels. I was challenged in how I think about myself and others this week, and it's not sitting well with me. As a "late bloomer" lesbian, I've gone through stages of trying not to be gay, accepting my queerness, being (for me) radical about it, becoming blase and jaded about it, LOL, and wanting a label I could identify with....and saying Don't you be labeling me buster!! All in the space of 12 years. This week, my tree was shaken again and my thoughts are swirling on my identity, why I need labels, hate labels, refuse to be labeled, label others....um, yeah.
3) One word: Menopause. I can't lie to myself anymore, I'm perimenopausal and have the freaking hot flashes to prove it. My skin is dry and itchy, I'm emotional all the effing time, and while I certainly (after 4 children) do not mourn the loss of fertility or anything like that....have to admit I am aging. I believe Old is what you make it..and I have the genetics to live to 100 healthfully - if I get control of my weight. But the whole M thing? This sucks. Don't like it.
Those are all the thoughts that are whirling in my head like a high-speed blender - all the time. Not sleeping well...did I mention hot flashes? grrr.
That's me, in a nutshell. C'mon Friday. I'm ready.