NOREGRET2010   49,838
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Wednesday, July 07, 2010

I say it often, "people are odd"...and I'm pretty aware I'm probably odd too.

We have varied levels of social skills. We all know at least one person that is "difficult". We say things like they "mean well", "don't mean any harm", or they "can't help the way they are." Often they are family members and we are pretty stuck with we make the best of it.

My family of origin is great at pretending the elephant in the room isn't there...You know, there's a problem. Everyone can see the problem, everyone knows there's a problem and it's not good...but no one talks about it. It took me 40 years to realize I was shoving food in my mouth in an effort to keep the family rule about not talking about those elephants in the room. Definitely an emotional eater, that's me.

so, why i'm talking about this.....

Some one hurt my feelings and REALLY hurt my partners feelings...but they are acting like nothing happened. My partner, who values the friendship immensely...wants to also pretend everything is okay even tho she is still pretty hurt.

I feel like I'm right back there in my childhood, dancing around the elephant. My partner wants me to "just let it go"..and I'm trying...but I'm also noticing how I want to shove food in my keep from saying just how not cool this all is with me....and that is not a good feeling.

Rather than shoving donuts in my face, I bought some fruit and when it's gone, that will be that. I won't overeat. I vented to a trusted friend. I wrote here. I will not overeat from emotions. Period.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWYEARME 7/7/2010 1:15PM

    Good for you for not turning to food in times of stress!!! My family is very much the same way so I know where you're coming from. "Don't rock the boat. Don't make waves. Just let it go." Sometimes easier said than done.

Well, at least you vented here, and I find that can be immensely helpful.

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FVHORVATH 7/7/2010 1:09PM

    I am glad to see that you understand the triggers that cause you to eat. Keep your chin up and things will get better. But don't hold it all in, talk until you feel better about thing. Holding it in is want causes the eating.

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    Good for you to figure out what triggers your eating and to do something positive with it. emoticon

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Just like ridin' a bike...

Saturday, July 03, 2010

I haven't been on a bicycle in literally 28 years.

When i was a kid, i LIVED on my bike... I had a 70's purple Schwinn with that cool metal flake paint ...white banana seat....with a bitchin' sissy bar man.....My bike was my ROCKET to the moon!

Then as a teen, I rode a bike 2 miles to the bus stop and back every day (we lived in the boonies) and for fun on the weekends.

After high school, I began driving, had kids, and that was the end of biking.

I'm investigating getting a bike for exercise now. With my arthritis and knee problems I thought it might be a good way to change up my workouts and get outside more too. So yesterday, I climbed on my daughter's gears - just a straight bike, and rode a few blocks.

and realized exactly how out of shape I am.

A few very gentle slopes and I was huffing and puffing like an 80 year old three pack a day smoker. An actual little hill....and I had to get off the bike and walk it up. Then I didn't have enough speed getting up the little slope of the drive into the garage...and fell on my carcASS.

I'm getting a bike. This is going to ramp up my stamina in a BIG way, and FAST. It's 4.3 miles to my work...and I realize that it will take me a few weeks of riding to even get to the point I can ride to work. 15 minutes last night and i was WIPED.

Laying on the ground under that bike - winded and po'd - was the best incentive i've had in a long time.

Bike 1, me 0. that's about to change....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRYDEQUEEN 7/3/2010 11:21AM

    I love bike riding! If you are looking to invest in a good bike, do check out the Townies as mentioned above. Not all are electric but they are really comfortable.

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TRY2KEEPGOING 7/3/2010 10:37AM

    I admire your spunk!!! I just got back on my bike again too. I am 52 years old 196 pounds and had shoulder surgery a few months ago. I started on Wednesday and actually got up to 40 min today. I have a goal to ride my bike to work too at least a few times just to know I can do it. Then it doesn't matter where I ride as long as I get out and have fun doing it.

Hang in there. You sound highly motivated and you will do it! I can suggest a great bike. Look up the Electra Townie on the web. That is what I bought and I absolutely love it. This is the most comfortable bike I ever owned.

Good luck to you and keep riding!


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I don't need your "tough love"....

Thursday, July 01, 2010

If you don't have something nice to say...don't say anything at all.

This was DRILLED into me from birth. I think it was both helpful...and not so helpful. Helpful in that I learned to listen to others and let them just talk and have their opinions without the NEED to tell them mine, or try to convert them to my opinion. I think this is a pretty good skill and it has served me very, very well. Harmful in that along with this little ditty, I was taught to not speak my mind, which sometimes needs to be relationship especially. So, is this a mantra to live by? yes...within reason.

I bring this up because yesterday, for the first time since joining SP in 2006, I unfriended a person. I found this person to be unceasingly critical - never a "go you!" or a cheer for losing a pound, NEVER ONCE...but always something critical to say, regularly "educating" me on the "right way" (aka HER way). I worked on letting it go until ...... I snapped. I "removed" her as a sparkfriend and sent her an email that said, I think we're doing being sparkfriends, thanks for your time and energy, good luck.

I post this...because that was a big deal to me - if you had a clue about me, about who i am, you would have realized your "help" was falling on deaf (and increasingly annoyed) ears, and moved on. I didn't learn to 'stand up for myself" until i was in my 30's and it's still a struggle. But I did it...and I felt immense relief.

So, here's the deal...if you follow my blog, most likely I love you to death! i also read YOUR blogs, tho I may not comment because of time issues. I may offer suggestions and I hope you do the same. But here at chez Sahara....

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Period.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRO-BAR 7/1/2010 11:03AM

    The world doesn't need "know it all's" or negative inflluences. Good for you!

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PRYDEQUEEN 7/1/2010 10:07AM

    You go girl! Good for taking care of you!

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MRE1956 7/1/2010 9:41AM

    emoticon - you really did the right thing for yourself by removing the toxicity from around you!

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ORGOLDENDUCK 7/1/2010 9:34AM

    Good for you....and sticking up for yourself....misery loves company!! You should feel very proud of yourself!

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WELLNESSME09 7/1/2010 9:24AM

    Good for you...we do not need negative in our life at anytime emoticonkeep up the good work emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEQ911 7/1/2010 9:23AM


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ELLE4PETS 7/1/2010 9:06AM

    Jusst keep up the good works

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    You did remove a negative from your life. Good for you.

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So not fair...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I've had four children. I've heard the phrase "that is so not fair!!" at least akazillion times - usually in reference to whose turn it was to do the dishes or pooper scoop.

I woke up thinking it today.

Last week was my vacation. I went into it with a little pain on the back of my heel. We went to Pride and we walked a lot. Then i came home from Pride and joined the 10 minute exercise challenge and started walking the dog, usually 2 times a day. The pain went from a little when I had "stiffened" up to yesterday being pretty much excruciating with every flipping step.

So in 10 days, I ramped my pedometer steps up from 1,000 or less a day (remember I sit for a living, LOL) to 5K a day....and now I have achilles tendopathy. Which is for all intents and purposes tenditis. I need to rest it, elevate it, and ice it.

GRRRR i am so frustrated!!

To add insult to injury, the doc said "really, it's very common for runners/walkers and especially middle aged folks like you with arthritis".

excuse me? Middle aged? Am I middle aged? Middle aged know...out there. You know in your 50's...right? right?

I came out more unhappy about being called middle aged at first, LOL. Finally I copped to it, okay, I'm 46. I guess I could be considered middle aged. *insert mild profanity here*.

But this a.m. I'm crying "so not fair" to another physical setback. Definitely a 3 steps fwd and two steps back kinda deal.

but...I will do as told. i will rest, ice, elevate and take an NSAID. i will not further injury it. And then when I restart I'll make sure I'm wearing good footwear to walk (likely the root of this whole thing) and I'll go back to the 10 minute challenge...with a vengance!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRO-BAR 6/30/2010 12:27PM

    I've developed that in both my achilles! Curses! Good shoes do help out a lot.

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KRESONNA_SUE 6/30/2010 10:33AM

    Life ISN'T fair. You are totally correct. Those who succeed get over it and do whatever it takes to get over what stands in their way. Maybe you can't walk but you can certainly do other things.

I can sense a deep level of self-resentment here. Take a look at this and add a hug or two or hundred per day. Love is what you have inside. Get in touch with it.

Making progress towards goals means to love yourself enough to weather the storms along the way. The biggest obstacle is the desire to hang on to the past and our old self.

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PRYDEQUEEN 6/30/2010 9:55AM

    We'll be waiting for you!

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SHEALUNA 6/30/2010 9:30AM

    Urrrrrgh. Don't know which is more frustrating, the injury or being called middle aged! 46 isn't middle aged!

Ok, maybe if you're going to live to 92. But I'm going to live to 120. So middle aged is 60! hahaha

The doctor is right, though. Rest, ice and elevate and you'll be good as new in no time!

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NBJAGGAL 6/30/2010 9:07AM


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I'm not afraid to get old......much....

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I never really feared old age when i was younger. i felt everyone got there sooner or later and being afraid of it wasn't going to stop it. So i worked from the attitude, "it's all good, young or old".

That was until about a year ago. My neice got married...and sitting there at her reception watching them open their gifts shot me back 20+ years to the same milestone in my life...and I "had a moment." Since that day, I've had more than a few moments of realizing just how fast life really goes...and the heart attack that killed a friends husband this past weekend is weighing on my mind. Sure...he was about 10 years older than me....but um, right now, 10 years doesn't seem like much.

I went to the grocery store for supper stuff....and I'm proud to say I'm trying a healthy lentil salad tonight as well....but i saw ....old people. infirm people. Faded people. I also saw lively white haired folk....smiling and busy-looking older ladies.

I can make my old age much happier, much the choices I make today. I can channel that occassional fear into motivation for good choices. I can enjoy every moment I have today and have no regrets at the end of this year, or this life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELLE4PETS 7/1/2010 9:08AM

    I try to embrace every age, now I am embracing a healthier me

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AKJADE 6/24/2010 7:14PM

    YES! It is your choices, my choices, that will affect how our "old age" is going to be. The old addage, "you're only as old as you feel" is true, and let's make sure we FEEL as young as possible by making those healthy choices now!! Wonderful blog, thank you!
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KRO-BAR 6/24/2010 5:19PM

    Well said!

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TREKJUNKIE 6/24/2010 3:50PM

    I am also afraid of getting old! Not growing old, but getting old, frail, infirm, housebound, all of those things. That has been a huge motivation for me to get healthy. I am getting close to retirement and I want to enjoy it. I want to see my grandchildren grow up, I want to still experience new things and go new places. I am so fearful of having a stroke, heart attack or something that will limit my ability to be mobile. It is a strong motivato!

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