Monday, August 16, 2010
Weekends are notoriously difficult for me - no routine = no good for me. I forget to eat (I know, how does a fat chick forget to eat?), then I over eat because I'm started, I do too much and don't get rest and by Monday, I'm exhausted.
I'm sure that will all be even better once I start college classes in the fall again...sigh. Better get myself better organized!
It's been sitting at the shop 2 weeks, he was backed up. Heard this a.m....it's toast, for me anyway. Threw a piston, big hole in the exhaust blah blah blah...cost more than it's worth, and certainly more than I have, to fix. I live in an area that does not have good public transport, and I'm going to have to get another car....which means a car payment I can't afford. Yay. Due to my credit, or lack thereof, I'll be paying through the nose for it too, unless something amazing pops up. We have an awesome lil old mazda that runs like a charm and costs 14 to fill....and gets about 30 mpg. Sure would like to stumble upon one of those right now! Not excited about the news on my car, at all.
I'm grateful, despite the car. Grateful I am alive, grateful I have a job, grateful I have a place to live, grateful my kids are all healthy, grateful I have a partner who loves me, grateful for the many ways the Universe takes care of me.
Working on 5 fruits/veggies again this week, and I have enough exercise scheduled I should be good for 5 x this week...we'll see. Yippie skippy...one foot in front of the other, eh?
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
What is the single biggest thing standing between me and my goals - not just weight, but dance, finances, etc?
PROCRASTINATION. Putting it off. Shoving it to the bottom of the pile.
I am presented with something...let's call it an "opportunity". For example...a dance event coming up where I am pretty much expected to roll out a solo performance.
First reaction: " I have plenty of time! i can do that LATER..."
time rolls on. "Hmm. I need to get on that".
Next..."wow that stresses me out" (cause you know I've lost time by not dealing with it).
"I can't do this, I'm so stressed out!"
"it's next week/this weekend/tomorrow!" and i roll out a performance I'm not happy with...
Change the details to financial...and there are late payment fees tacked on, or worse.
Now, am I a slacker in all areas? Of course not. I'm so freaking responsible at work it's sort of pathetic. I work on not letting my family, my students - OTHERS down. But I will push myself to the bottom in a heartbeat...usually in the form of procrastination.
"I can't work out because XXXX needs me to...." "I was going to eat healthy, but XXXX wants me to go out to eat to Pork Rind House..."
and I think, well, I've got the rest of my life, i can do the things for me .... LATER.
To put my demon procrastination in it's place...I've been working on the "JUST DO IT ..NOW" theory. It's helping. But I have years of practice at procrastination - it will take effort and attention to make a change.
What's your personal demon....and have you banished it?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I've been playing with the same 10 pounds over several months, and the same 5 pounds specifically over the last few weeks. Gain 2...lose 2....gain 2....lose 2.
I want results and I want them NOW...but .. you know..I don't really want to give anything up or change anything...
So this week is the week of stepping up to the plate....Last week was successful in fruits and veggies and exercise...this week I must maintain that AND bump it up...bump SOMETHING up...if I want to see results, period.
Non-scale victory.....in dance, there is something called releve (rel-uh-vay). In bellydance, it's lifting the heels off the floor and balancing on the balls of the feet while dancing. Because I weigh over 200 pounds, have arthritis, knee problems, and an old ankle injury..I seriously thought I had kissed the days of releve goodbye. When I tried, I couldn't keep in releve long at all and it hurt. We're working a new choreo...and I thought the last few practices "just see if you can do releve for just this part, 2 of 8...come on..." and last night, I was able to do it every time....with no pain.
bump it up bump it up bump it up.......if I can do it for releve...I can do it with diet/exercise....and ugh...water.
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