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Weekend, cars, and life

Monday, August 16, 2010

Weekend:
Weekends are notoriously difficult for me - no routine = no good for me. I forget to eat (I know, how does a fat chick forget to eat?), then I over eat because I'm started, I do too much and don't get rest and by Monday, I'm exhausted.

I'm sure that will all be even better once I start college classes in the fall again...sigh. Better get myself better organized!

Car:
It's been sitting at the shop 2 weeks, he was backed up. Heard this a.m....it's toast, for me anyway. Threw a piston, big hole in the exhaust blah blah blah...cost more than it's worth, and certainly more than I have, to fix. I live in an area that does not have good public transport, and I'm going to have to get another car....which means a car payment I can't afford. Yay. Due to my credit, or lack thereof, I'll be paying through the nose for it too, unless something amazing pops up. We have an awesome lil old mazda that runs like a charm and costs 14 to fill....and gets about 30 mpg. Sure would like to stumble upon one of those right now! Not excited about the news on my car, at all.

Life:
I'm grateful, despite the car. Grateful I am alive, grateful I have a job, grateful I have a place to live, grateful my kids are all healthy, grateful I have a partner who loves me, grateful for the many ways the Universe takes care of me.

Working on 5 fruits/veggies again this week, and I have enough exercise scheduled I should be good for 5 x this week...we'll see. Yippie skippy...one foot in front of the other, eh?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RJANE40 8/17/2010 7:54AM

    Weekends are terrible for me, for the same exact reason!

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SHAR140 8/16/2010 5:31PM

    emoticon focusing on the positives!

emoticon

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Personal Demons

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

What is the single biggest thing standing between me and my goals - not just weight, but dance, finances, etc?

PROCRASTINATION. Putting it off. Shoving it to the bottom of the pile.

I am presented with something...let's call it an "opportunity". For example...a dance event coming up where I am pretty much expected to roll out a solo performance.

First reaction: " I have plenty of time! i can do that LATER..."

time rolls on. "Hmm. I need to get on that".

Next..."wow that stresses me out" (cause you know I've lost time by not dealing with it).

"I can't do this, I'm so stressed out!"

"it's next week/this weekend/tomorrow!" and i roll out a performance I'm not happy with...

Change the details to financial...and there are late payment fees tacked on, or worse.

Now, am I a slacker in all areas? Of course not. I'm so freaking responsible at work it's sort of pathetic. I work on not letting my family, my students - OTHERS down. But I will push myself to the bottom in a heartbeat...usually in the form of procrastination.

"I can't work out because XXXX needs me to...." "I was going to eat healthy, but XXXX wants me to go out to eat to Pork Rind House..."

and I think, well, I've got the rest of my life, i can do the things for me .... LATER.

To put my demon procrastination in it's place...I've been working on the "JUST DO IT ..NOW" theory. It's helping. But I have years of practice at procrastination - it will take effort and attention to make a change.

What's your personal demon....and have you banished it?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WORKINGSTIFF 8/13/2010 2:46PM

    I am a procrastinator as well. I waited until the last day, yesterday, to turn in an entry form for my son to possibly win 4 years of textbooks (he'll be a freshman this fall). Will he win? Of course not! But at least he had a chance!

As far as taking care of others and putting yourself last, think about flipping that script. If you don't take care of yourself, who will? It takes tremendous courage to let the world know that "Yes, I am worthy." Scary, almost, to value one's self as much as we value others and to treat ourselves as well as we treat our loved ones...

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RJANE40 8/12/2010 10:04AM

    OMG tell me that you dont really hav a restaurant called PorkRind House? Made me giggle.

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HLEIGHH 8/11/2010 1:28PM

    ME TOO. (Except I do it with work and home maintenance as well.) I've been thinking about this a lot and it's reassuring to read your experience!



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SUSIEQ911 8/11/2010 12:24PM

    I am also a procrastinator and that is fed by my ADD.

I have been better since being diagnosed but slip back into it often still.



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PRYDEQUEEN 8/11/2010 9:47AM

    I have been starting with the little things - just doing it. And I will work up to the major things! It takes time!

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MINIDRIVER63 8/11/2010 9:14AM

    Oooh, I could have written that sister! If I hadn't procrastinated, that is.

Half of my stress is self-induced from putting off stuff I don't want to deal with until it explodes. Then I complain about dealing with the explosion!

The only remedy that works for me is making lists. I must do what's on the list, and it's so satisfying to cross stuff off! But if I put off making the list, I'm sunk.



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KBISSELL3 8/11/2010 8:22AM

    I know but we can't give up or dwell on it. W just have to try again

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SWINKIE57 8/11/2010 8:02AM

    OMG did this hit home! I like your new theory and am going to try it. emoticon

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ANGELBEAR94 8/11/2010 8:00AM

    I know we are almost all guilty of that. We can only strive to take better care of ourselves and put ourselves first sometimes.

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Bump it up...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I've been playing with the same 10 pounds over several months, and the same 5 pounds specifically over the last few weeks. Gain 2...lose 2....gain 2....lose 2.

I want results and I want them NOW...but .. you know..I don't really want to give anything up or change anything...

Sheesh!

So this week is the week of stepping up to the plate....Last week was successful in fruits and veggies and exercise...this week I must maintain that AND bump it up...bump SOMETHING up...if I want to see results, period.

Non-scale victory.....in dance, there is something called releve (rel-uh-vay). In bellydance, it's lifting the heels off the floor and balancing on the balls of the feet while dancing. Because I weigh over 200 pounds, have arthritis, knee problems, and an old ankle injury..I seriously thought I had kissed the days of releve goodbye. When I tried, I couldn't keep in releve long at all and it hurt. We're working a new choreo...and I thought the last few practices "just see if you can do releve for just this part, 2 of 8...come on..." and last night, I was able to do it every time....with no pain.

bump it up bump it up bump it up.......if I can do it for releve...I can do it with diet/exercise....and ugh...water.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRO-BAR 8/16/2010 3:12PM

    All that exercising and healthy eating IS paying off!! Keep it up and the consistency will keep the scale on the downward trend!

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RJANE40 8/12/2010 10:02AM

    What is up with the same-5-pound-battle? I do that all the time too. Grr, drives me crazy.

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MINIDRIVER63 8/10/2010 11:02AM

    One of my favorite exercise videos is a Bollywood workout that has lots of hip action. There are still a lot of things I can't do because of knee pain, but it's a lot of fun.

I think it's very important to evaluate what's working and what's not. If you're not progressing the way you'd hoped, you do need to "shake it up" and try something new.



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Saturday

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Can't say how glad I am that the work week is over...seems like everyone had a cruddy week..crazy week...are you sure the moon's not full?

Nothing exciting this weekend...a lot of laundry, LOL. Still no weigh in this a.m. as one of the boys spent another night and they camped out in the living room and have full control of the Wii, LOL. But tomorrow....

I got several comments at the end of the week about "you look like you've lost some weight". Whether I have or not, it's nice to hear...and in the mirror yesterday it DID look like I was more compact..we'll see.

Goal wise, i've hit a couple that have been hard fo me - 5 fruits/vggies a day and exercising 5x in a week...so i feel good about that regardless of what the fickle scale will say.

Emotions runnng a lil high here at home...jodie still obviously in grief over losing her dad, she's feeling like the kids are lazy and don't respect her - whoever coined the term "blended family" is closer than they realize..I feel like I'm in a blender! she never had kids...and came from the south from a family that is very harsh discipline-wise on children...the smallest infraction gets ridiculous consequences. I've been parenting 24 years and I have a pretty different view point...so she thinks I'm too lax on them...throw in a 16 and 14 yo...and it spells conflict. sometimes I feel like I'm walking a tightrope.

I hear the same from other families - both gay and straight - and i tell myself the kids will only be home a few more years...and jodie has learned some compromise, just right now she doesn't have the patience to utilize it, LOL.

Yay. Washer's done. means i need to put in anther load...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRO-BAR 8/16/2010 3:10PM

    Congrats on your 5 veggies and 5 days/week exercising! That is incredibly awesome!

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HAPPY_HANK 8/10/2010 12:25AM

    emoticon

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PRYDEQUEEN 8/7/2010 11:23AM

    Sounds like a good week goal wise! 5 veggies is an accomplishment. I am still working on that one. Wow! Exercising 5 days a week??

Even when you aren't a blended family, parenting is difficult. Need to keep talking about it.

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Welcome, weekend....

Friday, August 06, 2010

What a long, looooong week this has been.

the heat has shortened people's tempers...the kids are bickering and sick of each other...my partner is deeply grieving her dad's death...no word on how much it's going to cost to fix the car and I have no money to fix it anyway....and I feel exhausted and getting crabby myself.

So I'm pretty freakin' happy to see the end of this week roll in! I'm working my August goals - tho i'm tired and not feelin it really....i'm working the "just DO it" mantra a lot. Wanted to weigh in this a.m., but there are 15 year old boys in my living room from a sleep over playing X box and I don't care to waltz out in my nightgown and do my Wii weigh in with them, thank you....so it will have to be tomorrow.

I'm feeling that "is this worth it?" feeling...I'm working hard on my goals and I have quite a bit of fear that it's not going to pan out. This is a pretty reasonable fear, since i've been re-losing the same 5-10 pounds for the last couple months.

Today, I will carry on and eat my freakin' salad...do my dance class...and put one foot in front of the other.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHEALUNA 8/6/2010 9:10AM

    Ugh. What a yucky week. But, hey, it's over and tomorrow is a new day. You can do this! Sometimes it's just the slogging on putting one foot in front of the other than finally, finally does it. Though perhaps try a Greek salad. Just to shake things up a bit. emoticon

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