Thursday, September 02, 2010
I'm about 10 days out from my short-term goal of feeling better for the 4-day dance retreat I'm going to...and more important than anything at this point, I'm having FUN with the piece I choreo'd for it and it's not a huge chore where I doubt myself which has been the story for the last three years in a row!
Now, on to september...
~ 239 or less. I keep getting to the 240 mark then I bounce around. i want PAST 240!
~ 1000 spark points. This would take some dedication, my best is 900+ for a month.
~ 5+ Fruits/veggies a day, at least 5x a week.
~ 8 glasses of water a day.
~ Keep my momentum when my college classes start on top of the 2 jobs, the dance troupe, the kids....
I can tell I'm doing better on the water this week, as I've had to get up more than once every night this week - A sure indicator I'm getting there. Hopefully that will end soon.
Still hopeful. One of my usual phrases is "hope springs eternal". I guess I can apply it to myself...I feel knocked down, and sometimes discouraged...but I continue to have hope that I can have a healthy body and so I get up and brush off and start again. If i didn't keep on, I am quite sure I'd be over 300 pounds today. So, I'm working on feeling gratitude that i'm where i'm at and optimism for the future.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
yesterday I thought a lot about why I'm not losing weight...and even knowing I ate under calories two days and got poor sleep, a five pound gain? Really?
I have a suspicion tho....Aleve. Aleve is a sodium product...and i started taking it daily for my arthritis....and i haven't been getting the water in. I'm thinking there's the culprit right there. can't not take it...the only alternative to me currently is ibuprofen and in the amounts needed it's too much - I'll end up with an ulcer.
So, for the rest of this week, I'll take the Aleve but i will ROCK the water. Soon as I thought of it yesterday I started drinking water and this a.m. my rings are already looser again.
I'm not getting on the scale tho. I get too wrapped up in those numbers and right now, I need to think positive!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Last Monday, I had a 1.8 pound loss. This monday, I gained 5 full pounds.
In looking at last week, one major thing jumps out at me - I was freaking exhausted. I woke up daily around 4 a.m.....and coudn't go back to sleep. Lots of stress last week = sleep problems. By Friday, i was so tired I fell into bed at 8 pm, without having eaten dinner even.
If I look at last week, I see...
170 minutes of cardio
Two days where I went under my calories and the balance were within range
Took my supplements 50% of the time
Didn't make a single day of 8 cups of water a day
way under on sleep
Way over on stress!
This is the kind of weigh in that makes me want to give upagain - BUT I can clearly see the problem areas.
This a.m., I'm really tired of trying....but I'm getting back up and back "on the horse". one more day at a time, one more week at a time.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
When I got up today, I thought "Wow, do I feel like crap!" I'm exhausted.
Then I finished logging my food and realized why I feel like crap: I was way under calories, under on carbs, under on almost everything including water. It was a crazy, crazy day and I was running from the time I got up till the time I went to bed....and on top of it all, this is the 4th day in a row I've woken up 30-60 minutes too early and been unable to fall back asleep. So I'm exhausted, but I'm not sleeping well either.
No wonder I'm bone tired!
Today: Eat all my calories making sure to hit the protein and fruits/veggies, drink the water, and try to get some sleep!
Yesterday I chatted with an old friend about how hard this is...the losing the weight. How crushing it can be. When I'm living on sugar and poor nutrition it is so much harder to try...I feel like I do right now, every day. When I'm eating the appropriate amounts of fruits/veggies/protein, I have energy and a positive outlook to do the work, make the changes and not give up.
So yesterday (and today's resulting exhaustion) was not in vain, it was a reminder of how bad I felt before I started taking care of myself.
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