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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The last two weeks have been flat-out crazy...My partner flew out to Louisiana to be with her mom (recently diagnosed with fast-moving terminal cancer), I put on a huge bellydance event, and worked 7 days in a row while doing it...oh, and homework...lots of homework.

So I've been here, but not posting - no time!

things have slowed to oh, warp speed, so now I'm able to take a minute and post, LOL.

Goals: Shot to H-e-double hockeysticks this month. I'll be lucky to make half the points I had in mind. But, life is life and I got some good things done regardless.

Weigh in, I've been too busy to weigh in, no joke!

Health: a couple of sucky weeks and a couple of okay weeks. No word from doc about the fibromyalgia stuff, but I have an appointment next month with someone else and we'll see what they have to say.

School - so far so good, tho after two months off my brain sorta felt broken restarting again. I have many math classes to take before i get to the ones I need for my degree, and math was never a favorite for me. The intro to literature class is harder than i'd imagined, in no small part to having t oread materail I would never choose to read and then analyze it to death.

Been wearing the cpap, tho the last three nights I've struggled with waking up feeling panicked and having to finally take it off. Not sure what that's about. I just keep putting it on and hoping it will stop.

That's it. busy busy and all that. Kid starts ROTC early morning practices today, so now we have to be out the door 30 minutes earlier than usual on top of it all. WOO HOO! LOL.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIEIRENE 9/28/2010 10:36AM

    Good to hear from you! I can't believe how much you are trying to juggle - it must be exhausting! I'm proud of you for continuing to check in where you can and stay mindful. Balance in all things!

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MINIDRIVER63 9/28/2010 10:09AM

    Thanks for the update! Tell your doc about the panicky feelings with the CPAP. You don't want that to continue. Maybe a mild sedative?

Hugs, and hoping you find some time for yourself.

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This Sucks

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The constant low-le. vel pain/aching and fatigue thing is getting really really old. If this is fibromyalgia, I'm pretty blue cause there is no clearly delineated treatment - what works for one might not do the same for another. On the other hand, if it's not fibromyalgia, what the heck is it?

Wearing the CPAP nightly - can't say as I'm noticing a difference but I hadn't used it in years and I probably have a pretty big sleep deficit to repay...Jodie says i do not move a bit once I go to sleep compared to my previous thrashing/snoring - the down side is when I wake up I'm miserably sore.

Working on eating whole foods - right now I'm just wanting to focus on nutrition vs weight loss and if the weight loss happens cool, but I'm so freakin' miserable I just want to have good nutrition to fuel my body and help get over whatever the heck this is that is dragging my arse into the gutter.

i'm down, but I'm not out....tho I'll admit to being pretty darn blue about the whole freakin thing. Bah humbug.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBERZADE 9/21/2010 5:25AM

    I'm sorry about all the pain you are in. It's hard t o concentrate and get things done when you are hurting like that.


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A_BELLE 9/18/2010 9:29PM

    I'm sorry you feel so awful. Eating only whole foods WILL make you feel better and WILL result in weight loss. I wish I could do it myself. It is the best way. You can do it...and it is a wonderful way to live (so I hear hehehe). Good luck and I hope you start to feel better soon with your new plan!

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JULIEIRENE 9/18/2010 4:04PM

    I am so sorry about the pain you are experiencing. I have read about fibromyalgia and it sounds like a very frustrating condition. My hope for you is that as you recover some of your lost sleep and improve your nutrition that your body will start to feel better as well. Don't give up - your body is definitely wanting you to take good care of it - and you deserve the best of care!

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SIMPLYWHOLE 9/18/2010 2:38PM

    I know how you feel about the constant aches and tiredness. I was just dx with the fibro 3 weeks ago. They gave me lyrica and I workout everyday since the doctor told me to. I still feel a little blah but I feel better than before treatment. I hope you feel better and keep up the good work.



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KITTYF54 9/18/2010 12:57PM

    Does stretching help your soreness?

Abt the night thing, using pillows around my back and under my upper arm when I'm on my side really helps a lot for me but I don't know much about fibro. I also used to wake with headaches and neck back aches and a buckwheat pillow gave me more support and less aching there. I think my neck was trying to support my head higher since the pillow wasn't doing it. now I pile them around me to help give support. it's like being cradled in your mommy's arms, but a real bear to fight your way out of when you have to go to the bathroom. LOL

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On being snuffleuffagus

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I saw my doc on tuesday. i'm still digesting what he said. he wants to explore the possibility that while I do have arthritis, what is causing all this pain/stiffness is actually fibromyalgia. I'm thinking about that. I'm a pretty concrete person. i want a test, a yes or no, and i want a plan of action. Fibro really doesn't fall into those parameters. So I'm thinking about that. he also convinced me I must pull out the CPAP and actually, um, you know...use it. I have definite sleep apnea and I have a cpap. why don't I use it?

Well, why don't we do a myriad of things we should do? Sigh.

So I've pulled it out and I'm using it. I'm giving it 90 days to feel better and then i'll re-evaluate. He's right tho, about not getting restorative sleep and the damage it is doing me (and likely a big factor in why i'm not losing weight well either).

On top of all the stuff that is my life...My partner must go to Louisiana indefinitely. she lost her dad about 6 weeks ago...and this week they found out her mom has terminal cancer - pretty fast moving and she may not even be a candidate for treatment. Tomorrow there will be an appointment and hopefully some options laid out...nevertheless, Jodie will not go to fall term of college and fly down for at least several weeks. It's been terribly hard to lose her dad, and so quickly her mom? Well, I'm sure anyone can figure out how bad it is. Needless to say, the stress level here is pretty profound.

One of the reasons I didn't argue much about the cpap...I'll need sleep to do all that i do without her here. So I'll wear my trusty mask and be....snuffleuffagus.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RJANE40 9/17/2010 7:35AM

    Poor one should have to deal with so much stress all at the same time. Plus the stress of not having you to lean on due to the distance. Make sure you have a plan of action for your stress too. Take good care of yourselves and each other.

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JULIEIRENE 9/16/2010 11:46AM

    Sounds like a lot of tough things going on at once! Definintely all the more reason to take care of yourself and protect your sleep! I am proud of you for putting your CPAP to work, and hoping it helps your body get the rest it needs and deserves!

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MINIDRIVER63 9/16/2010 10:27AM

    The CPAP is a lifesaver! I know several people who use them, and they get much better sleep. I'm sure it take some getting used to, but you'll do just fine.

So sorry to hear about Jodie's mom. This must be a very emotional time for her right now, and for you holding down the fort at home.


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PRYDEQUEEN 9/16/2010 10:02AM

    Hang in there! Sending hugs and positive energy to both of you!

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Holy Water Retention Batgirl!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I just spent 4 days in the woods at a women's dance retreat. It's a bit spread out so just to go to the kitchen area back to your cabin is the equivalent of oh say 3 city blocks...and you go back and forth all day long late into the night...take dance workshops etc. I pretty much ate what I wanted and didn't think about it much. I didn't gorge or load up on sweets....but you know, out in the woods, fresh air blah blah, I ate well to say the least.

Back home this a.m, I jumped on the wii to weigh in. Before I ever stepped on, I can see that my fingers are swollen up like lil sausages and even my ankles are swollen and I knew it wouldn't be pretty....but good grief...

6.4 pounds.

if i had not just spent 3.5 days walking a good 12,000 steps a day I'd be stressed. But I knew before I stepped on that I'm ballooned up and thankfully, I'm not freaked out terribly. I'm not happy mind you...but I am quite positive a good percentage of that is fluid.

I really really struggled with my arthritis. The camp is near the coast and it was very damp there...I ached pretty much full time. Most mornings at home, it takes me about 20 minutes of moving around before all my joints stop crackling and popping and get "lubed up" it took well over an hour and if I sat for more than 10 minutes or so, i was right back to where i started.

it convinced me it's time to insist on some more aggressive work on my arthritis than taking a couple of NSAIDS a day. I had already set an appointment with my doc for this afternoon...and I'm going to make him understand...I'm in pain every single day. I have constant, nagging low level pain at the very least...and at worst every joint is aching. I'm 46 years old, I'm not going to settle for having daily pain, period. What do i need to do to control this? is my main question and if I don't get answers this time (last time he sort of blew me off with "oh take ibuprofen if it hurts") I'll go elsewhere.

So, back from my lil foray in the woods...I'm focused on heallth and the water weight isn't going to put me off.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 9/15/2010 5:24PM

    Six pounds is quite a shock but I'll bet MOST of it is water weight! I'm impressed that you didn't let a small gain come between you and your commitment to a healthier lifestyle! Good luck with your doctor's appt. I hope it goes well.


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AMBERZADE 9/14/2010 11:39AM

    It sounds like you got plenty of exercise. Maybe it's muscle.

You're right to insist on a better answer from your doctor. Too often medical doctors, men at least, put us women off.

I think you're doing great despite the 6 pounds.

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JENNROY1 9/14/2010 10:39AM

    good for you for not getting discouraged! I broke a cardinal rule today - stepped on the scale at 'that time' of the month - and went - "WOAH!" And I've been well within my range all week - same issue - water retention. If I didn't know it, I'd be freaking out (5 pounds up)!!! Feel better!

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OTTAWABOUND 9/14/2010 10:37AM

    Last weekend, when the weather changed from super hot humid to fall cool--I literally dropped over 6 pounds of water weight in 36 hours. I was running to the bathroom every 40 minutes. And my husband had the same experience.

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LEYETTE 9/14/2010 10:14AM

    You're on the right track...just keep at it. Drink plenty of water and you will see positive results. emoticon

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*So* close!

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

My 2 pound goal was set for next Wednesday...and I passed it today! Very happy about it too, LOL.

Now I am less than half a pound from being under 240....July 14, I hit 239.8...and immediately started bouncing around again - up 2, down .5, up 1, down 2...then came that 5 pound gain and I was pretty demoralized.

I want under 240....and I want to be able to STAY there. Back to walking on my breaks again now that the weather has turned. Went from 100 degree days to rain and cool overnight. It's good tho, because I'm not good at walking in the now I can walk on both my breaks.

240 has been very tough for me to break and stay under....I'm not entirely sure what it's all about, but my body does not want to go under 240 - huge resistance. I just need to stay motivated and determined to hang in there till it gives!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAPPY_HANK 9/11/2010 6:24AM


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RJANE40 9/9/2010 8:18AM

    You go girl on meeting your goal early!

Once I go under 250, I completely stall. I think thats when I usually start getting major compliments and I think it makes me uncomfortable. Trying to beat that mindset this time around!

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A_BELLE 9/8/2010 2:55PM

    I'm so happy for you! Awesome job. I know you can get under 240, I know you can! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MINIDRIVER63 9/8/2010 12:05PM

    There are key numbers that somehow seem impossible to get across. 238 was one of them for me - I wanted to weigh less than my husband. I know 200 will be tough because I will want 199 so badly I will bust a gut trying to get there.

As hard as it is, now is the time to remember it's about healthy habits - eating well, exercising, drinking lots of water. Changes on the scale are a nice side effect to the major goal of establishing healthy habits FOR LIFE.


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