Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The last two weeks have been flat-out crazy...My partner flew out to Louisiana to be with her mom (recently diagnosed with fast-moving terminal cancer), I put on a huge bellydance event, and worked 7 days in a row while doing it...oh, and homework...lots of homework.
So I've been here, but not posting - no time!
things have slowed to oh, warp speed, so now I'm able to take a minute and post, LOL.
Goals: Shot to H-e-double hockeysticks this month. I'll be lucky to make half the points I had in mind. But, life is life and I got some good things done regardless.
Weigh in, I've been too busy to weigh in, no joke!
Health: a couple of sucky weeks and a couple of okay weeks. No word from doc about the fibromyalgia stuff, but I have an appointment next month with someone else and we'll see what they have to say.
School - so far so good, tho after two months off my brain sorta felt broken restarting again. I have many math classes to take before i get to the ones I need for my degree, and math was never a favorite for me. The intro to literature class is harder than i'd imagined, in no small part to having t oread materail I would never choose to read and then analyze it to death.
Been wearing the cpap, tho the last three nights I've struggled with waking up feeling panicked and having to finally take it off. Not sure what that's about. I just keep putting it on and hoping it will stop.
That's it. busy busy and all that. Kid starts ROTC early morning practices today, so now we have to be out the door 30 minutes earlier than usual on top of it all. WOO HOO! LOL.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I saw my doc on tuesday. i'm still digesting what he said. he wants to explore the possibility that while I do have arthritis, what is causing all this pain/stiffness is actually fibromyalgia. I'm thinking about that. I'm a pretty concrete person. i want a test, a yes or no, and i want a plan of action. Fibro really doesn't fall into those parameters. So I'm thinking about that. he also convinced me I must pull out the CPAP and actually, um, you know...use it. I have definite sleep apnea and I have a cpap. why don't I use it?
Well, why don't we do a myriad of things we should do? Sigh.
So I've pulled it out and I'm using it. I'm giving it 90 days to feel better and then i'll re-evaluate. He's right tho, about not getting restorative sleep and the damage it is doing me (and likely a big factor in why i'm not losing weight well either).
On top of all the stuff that is my life...My partner must go to Louisiana indefinitely. she lost her dad about 6 weeks ago...and this week they found out her mom has terminal cancer - pretty fast moving and she may not even be a candidate for treatment. Tomorrow there will be an appointment and hopefully some options laid out...nevertheless, Jodie will not go to fall term of college and fly down for at least several weeks. It's been terribly hard to lose her dad, and so quickly her mom? Well, I'm sure anyone can figure out how bad it is. Needless to say, the stress level here is pretty profound.
One of the reasons I didn't argue much about the cpap...I'll need sleep to do all that i do without her here. So I'll wear my trusty mask and be....snuffleuffagus.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I just spent 4 days in the woods at a women's dance retreat. It's a bit spread out so just to go to the kitchen area back to your cabin is the equivalent of oh say 3 city blocks...and you go back and forth all day long late into the night...take dance workshops etc. I pretty much ate what I wanted and didn't think about it much. I didn't gorge or load up on sweets....but you know, out in the woods, fresh air blah blah, I ate well to say the least.
Back home this a.m, I jumped on the wii to weigh in. Before I ever stepped on, I can see that my fingers are swollen up like lil sausages and even my ankles are swollen and I knew it wouldn't be pretty....but good grief...
if i had not just spent 3.5 days walking a good 12,000 steps a day I'd be stressed. But I knew before I stepped on that I'm ballooned up and thankfully, I'm not freaked out terribly. I'm not happy mind you...but I am quite positive a good percentage of that is fluid.
I really really struggled with my arthritis. The camp is near the coast and it was very damp there...I ached pretty much full time. Most mornings at home, it takes me about 20 minutes of moving around before all my joints stop crackling and popping and get "lubed up"...here it took well over an hour and if I sat for more than 10 minutes or so, i was right back to where i started.
it convinced me it's time to insist on some more aggressive work on my arthritis than taking a couple of NSAIDS a day. I had already set an appointment with my doc for this afternoon...and I'm going to make him understand...I'm in pain every single day. I have constant, nagging low level pain at the very least...and at worst every joint is aching. I'm 46 years old, I'm not going to settle for having daily pain, period. What do i need to do to control this? is my main question and if I don't get answers this time (last time he sort of blew me off with "oh take ibuprofen if it hurts") I'll go elsewhere.
So, back from my lil foray in the woods...I'm focused on heallth and the water weight isn't going to put me off.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
My 2 pound goal was set for next Wednesday...and I passed it today! Very happy about it too, LOL.
Now I am less than half a pound from being under 240....July 14, I hit 239.8...and immediately started bouncing around again - up 2, down .5, up 1, down 2...then came that 5 pound gain and I was pretty demoralized.
I want under 240....and I want to be able to STAY there. Back to walking on my breaks again now that the weather has turned. Went from 100 degree days to rain and cool overnight. It's good tho, because I'm not good at walking in the heat...so now I can walk on both my breaks.
240 has been very tough for me to break and stay under....I'm not entirely sure what it's all about, but my body does not want to go under 240 - huge resistance. I just need to stay motivated and determined to hang in there till it gives!
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