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candy is not the solution

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I'm tired...and when I'm tired I tend to eat to stay going. I know this about myself, and I'm working on stopping that pattern. Coworker has candy and keeps offering it to me...and I keep saying no thanks.

But truthfully, I really want it.

I just know that if I start.... Well, I won't stop till it's gone. I'm not a "I can have just one" kinda gal when it comes to my addiction - sugar.

But all I can think about is that candy, just waiting in the next cubicle.

Put the CPAP on last night, but woke up in the wee hours to find sometime in the night I'd ripped the mask off and it was laying next to the bed - with the machine running of course, lol. No wonder I'm tired.

Still researching the C25K. Have asked my daughter to walk with me tonight. Will continue putting the CPAP on.....

That day in, day out stuff.....putting one foot in front of the other. Will. Not. Eat. The. Candy. Every time I think about the candy, I take a drink of water, LOL. Can't hurt, eh?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOINGTHIS 9/29/2010 4:30PM

    I agree.. avoid your vice if you know you can't just stop with one. That's the hardest part is identifying your weakness and then strategies to overcome it.

Can you take 5-10 minute walk right after you eat lunch? It may help balance out your blood sugar to prevent those sleepies.

You can do it!!! Keep on drinking that water!

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GREEN5SING 9/29/2010 3:57PM

    I'm with you... no one piece for me!

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A crazy idea....

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I'm going to say something I can't even say out loud to anyone I know or post anywhere else I play in cyberland....

I'm seriously considering starting the Couch to 5K program.

People who know me would likely either laugh until they cried and/or tell me I was crazy and can't possibly do it.

I'm not a runner. The last time I remember running besides running to get the garbage can to the curb in time 1983. Seriously, 1983.

I used to walk...I even walked a marathon once...but now I don't even walk for fitness.

So the idea of doing Cto5k is sort of crazy....but it's percolating in my brain and I can't stop thinking about it. Do it in 9 weeks? uh, heeeelllll no. I'd probably take a lot longer than 9 weeks...but...I can't stop thinking about it. This is sort of how things happen to me. I go through that "cycle of acceptance".

I think of something, and immediate dissuade myself - not doable.
I think - I wish I could do that.
I think - Someday maybe I could do that.
I think - I want to do that.
I waver around for awhile....
Then I can't stand it anymore and must do it.

Naturally, this has varying success ratios, LOL.

What's prompting this? Besides seeing some sparkie friends DOING it? I do this bellydance thing - to call it bellydance bootcamp would be close to explaining it for people to understand. It is freaking hard. It is physically challenging. You are expected to do sit ups, squats, pushups, and you need some serious stamina to succeed. I attained the first level a year ago. I have waivered back in forth the last year about do I want to go farther? Do I really WANT to push myself that much? It's very expensive...let me say, VERY expensive. But it is the best training I can get, in my opinion...and I WANT it.

The weeklong "bootcamp" would be August 2011. I have about 10 months to make it or break it. This is not a little goal to me, it is a HUGE goal. The cost of the trip, the workshop, testing to certify level 2 will run me close to a grand. In my life, that is a LOT of freaking money. So if I'm going to do it...I have to commit not only to the dance parts, but getting some stamina - or I'll never cut it.

Enter the C25K idea.

I'm *this* close to making the leap. Can a fat old chick with arthritis do this? Is it a crazy goal? Is my ultimate goal of going level 2 in the bellydance thing totally ridiculous? I fight these fears day in and day out. If it were YOU, I'd say "do it! Just do it! you don't want to look back and say "i wish I woulda..."

I dunno. Speak up sparkies. Tell me what you think.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IFDEEVARUNS2 9/30/2010 3:18PM

    Take your time - it's not a race. If it takes longer, that's fine. Just keep doing it.

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 9/29/2010 4:39PM

    Be aware of yourself. Be flexible and then just remind yourself that you want to and you can. Pace yourself. l emoticon

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FITTNESS_SMILES 9/29/2010 3:58PM

    You can do it. hard work but you will love that you did it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JULIEIRENE 9/29/2010 11:33AM

    DO IT! It's a great program, and you can take as long as you need to with it. It does a really good job of easing you into things so, much like the philosophies of Spark, it's about consistency and small accomplishments over time which cumulatively become a much bigger thing you never thought was possible!

I started C25K the first time last October and only stuck with it a few weeks, then I started it again in March this year and this time I got hooked. Before C25K I had never run in my life - seriously - and now I'm running my first Half Marathon this weekend. So it really is possible. If you try it, I recommend using the Ullrey podcasts - or even better, the C25K app if you have an iPhone. Also, take some time figuring out what works best for you - treadmill, track or outdoors. Let us know if you decide to do it and how it goes!!!

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SHAR140 9/28/2010 9:12PM

    YES!! DO IT!! Because I need to do it too, and we can start together!!


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ATREAT4ME 9/28/2010 7:38PM

    I just started C25K yesterday and I am so proud of my 8-minutes worth of jogging. I cannot wait until Thursday, my second day. Do it! Do it! Do it! And tell me all about it!

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BORNAGAINBRAT 9/28/2010 4:33PM

    I want to do it too. I am quitting smokeing tomorrow so I guess I should set my next goal to start the c25k next month after my lungs have some time to mend.

I say go fot it! emoticon

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GSGKMG 9/28/2010 4:31PM

    Don't worry about what others might can do it. If I can get into running again at my weight, you certainly can. Although I have a long way to go, I feel good and psyched I'll actually run in a 5K this Sunday, albeit very slowly - its a start. After the race, I'll sign up for another for November to keep me going - it'll be cool getting PR's all the time as the lbs drop off. I didn't follow the C25K program, but it sounds good and probably much easier on the knees.

Enjoy it!

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MINIDRIVER63 9/28/2010 4:12PM

    Go for it! If I didn't have decades-old running injuries (knees! hips!), I'd get back into it too!

The great thing about the C25K program is that it's a gradual progression to your goal. IT WORKS.

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THIMBLETACK 9/28/2010 4:02PM

    You can do anything you put your mind too...i'm rooting for you...woohoo...hugs...christen...ak
a thimbletack

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The last two weeks have been flat-out crazy...My partner flew out to Louisiana to be with her mom (recently diagnosed with fast-moving terminal cancer), I put on a huge bellydance event, and worked 7 days in a row while doing it...oh, and homework...lots of homework.

So I've been here, but not posting - no time!

things have slowed to oh, warp speed, so now I'm able to take a minute and post, LOL.

Goals: Shot to H-e-double hockeysticks this month. I'll be lucky to make half the points I had in mind. But, life is life and I got some good things done regardless.

Weigh in, I've been too busy to weigh in, no joke!

Health: a couple of sucky weeks and a couple of okay weeks. No word from doc about the fibromyalgia stuff, but I have an appointment next month with someone else and we'll see what they have to say.

School - so far so good, tho after two months off my brain sorta felt broken restarting again. I have many math classes to take before i get to the ones I need for my degree, and math was never a favorite for me. The intro to literature class is harder than i'd imagined, in no small part to having t oread materail I would never choose to read and then analyze it to death.

Been wearing the cpap, tho the last three nights I've struggled with waking up feeling panicked and having to finally take it off. Not sure what that's about. I just keep putting it on and hoping it will stop.

That's it. busy busy and all that. Kid starts ROTC early morning practices today, so now we have to be out the door 30 minutes earlier than usual on top of it all. WOO HOO! LOL.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIEIRENE 9/28/2010 10:36AM

    Good to hear from you! I can't believe how much you are trying to juggle - it must be exhausting! I'm proud of you for continuing to check in where you can and stay mindful. Balance in all things!

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MINIDRIVER63 9/28/2010 10:09AM

    Thanks for the update! Tell your doc about the panicky feelings with the CPAP. You don't want that to continue. Maybe a mild sedative?

Hugs, and hoping you find some time for yourself.

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This Sucks

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The constant low-le. vel pain/aching and fatigue thing is getting really really old. If this is fibromyalgia, I'm pretty blue cause there is no clearly delineated treatment - what works for one might not do the same for another. On the other hand, if it's not fibromyalgia, what the heck is it?

Wearing the CPAP nightly - can't say as I'm noticing a difference but I hadn't used it in years and I probably have a pretty big sleep deficit to repay...Jodie says i do not move a bit once I go to sleep compared to my previous thrashing/snoring - the down side is when I wake up I'm miserably sore.

Working on eating whole foods - right now I'm just wanting to focus on nutrition vs weight loss and if the weight loss happens cool, but I'm so freakin' miserable I just want to have good nutrition to fuel my body and help get over whatever the heck this is that is dragging my arse into the gutter.

i'm down, but I'm not out....tho I'll admit to being pretty darn blue about the whole freakin thing. Bah humbug.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBERZADE 9/21/2010 5:25AM

    I'm sorry about all the pain you are in. It's hard t o concentrate and get things done when you are hurting like that.


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A_BELLE 9/18/2010 9:29PM

    I'm sorry you feel so awful. Eating only whole foods WILL make you feel better and WILL result in weight loss. I wish I could do it myself. It is the best way. You can do it...and it is a wonderful way to live (so I hear hehehe). Good luck and I hope you start to feel better soon with your new plan!

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JULIEIRENE 9/18/2010 4:04PM

    I am so sorry about the pain you are experiencing. I have read about fibromyalgia and it sounds like a very frustrating condition. My hope for you is that as you recover some of your lost sleep and improve your nutrition that your body will start to feel better as well. Don't give up - your body is definitely wanting you to take good care of it - and you deserve the best of care!

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SIMPLYWHOLE 9/18/2010 2:38PM

    I know how you feel about the constant aches and tiredness. I was just dx with the fibro 3 weeks ago. They gave me lyrica and I workout everyday since the doctor told me to. I still feel a little blah but I feel better than before treatment. I hope you feel better and keep up the good work.



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KITTYF54 9/18/2010 12:57PM

    Does stretching help your soreness?

Abt the night thing, using pillows around my back and under my upper arm when I'm on my side really helps a lot for me but I don't know much about fibro. I also used to wake with headaches and neck back aches and a buckwheat pillow gave me more support and less aching there. I think my neck was trying to support my head higher since the pillow wasn't doing it. now I pile them around me to help give support. it's like being cradled in your mommy's arms, but a real bear to fight your way out of when you have to go to the bathroom. LOL

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On being snuffleuffagus

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I saw my doc on tuesday. i'm still digesting what he said. he wants to explore the possibility that while I do have arthritis, what is causing all this pain/stiffness is actually fibromyalgia. I'm thinking about that. I'm a pretty concrete person. i want a test, a yes or no, and i want a plan of action. Fibro really doesn't fall into those parameters. So I'm thinking about that. he also convinced me I must pull out the CPAP and actually, um, you know...use it. I have definite sleep apnea and I have a cpap. why don't I use it?

Well, why don't we do a myriad of things we should do? Sigh.

So I've pulled it out and I'm using it. I'm giving it 90 days to feel better and then i'll re-evaluate. He's right tho, about not getting restorative sleep and the damage it is doing me (and likely a big factor in why i'm not losing weight well either).

On top of all the stuff that is my life...My partner must go to Louisiana indefinitely. she lost her dad about 6 weeks ago...and this week they found out her mom has terminal cancer - pretty fast moving and she may not even be a candidate for treatment. Tomorrow there will be an appointment and hopefully some options laid out...nevertheless, Jodie will not go to fall term of college and fly down for at least several weeks. It's been terribly hard to lose her dad, and so quickly her mom? Well, I'm sure anyone can figure out how bad it is. Needless to say, the stress level here is pretty profound.

One of the reasons I didn't argue much about the cpap...I'll need sleep to do all that i do without her here. So I'll wear my trusty mask and be....snuffleuffagus.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RJANE40 9/17/2010 7:35AM

    Poor one should have to deal with so much stress all at the same time. Plus the stress of not having you to lean on due to the distance. Make sure you have a plan of action for your stress too. Take good care of yourselves and each other.

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JULIEIRENE 9/16/2010 11:46AM

    Sounds like a lot of tough things going on at once! Definintely all the more reason to take care of yourself and protect your sleep! I am proud of you for putting your CPAP to work, and hoping it helps your body get the rest it needs and deserves!

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MINIDRIVER63 9/16/2010 10:27AM

    The CPAP is a lifesaver! I know several people who use them, and they get much better sleep. I'm sure it take some getting used to, but you'll do just fine.

So sorry to hear about Jodie's mom. This must be a very emotional time for her right now, and for you holding down the fort at home.


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PRYDEQUEEN 9/16/2010 10:02AM

    Hang in there! Sending hugs and positive energy to both of you!

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