NOREGRET2010   48,573
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Ahh...the weekend!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

this was a CRAZY week...extra busy at work while being short staffed, more homework than usual, driving to and fro for teenagers....I was exhausted by the time Friday rolled around.

Things that went well:
I've burned 2000 calories this week - woo hoo!
I made my hours at work (this has been an issue due to slow down..hopefully that's over)
I turned my homework all in

Things that need continued attention:
Eating veggies went off track
Water went off track
wearing CPAP not consistent

Had an eye appointment and heard the lovely news I am aging, LOL, as if I didn't know that...I have a small cataract beginning in one eye and I'm going to bifocals. Sigh. aging sucks. but I plan on continuing to work on my health so I can be as healthy as possible for as long as possible!

curious how full dance class will be this week - I put out the word, if I don't have a minimum attendance, I'm going to have to cut the class. Lots of "oh no, we don't want you to quit!" but this is put up or shut up time. I've been teaching for years and didn't care whether that class made money or not, I teach for the love of it. But right now, working full time and going to college? I can't spend the prep time + the 3 hours on sunday on a class that is half full. It doesn't make sense to pay studio fees for a small class when I'm THIS crazy busy. So...i've put it out there...we will see where it goes. I'll keep my weekday classes no matter what, they are in my home, where I don't have to pay studio fees!

here's to another week of trying to get it all right!

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PRYDEQUEEN 10/16/2010 11:15AM


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Life, love and the pursuit of....a degree

Thursday, October 07, 2010

I love learning...I could be a full-time student if it paid better, LOL.

Doing school while working essentially a full time and a part time job...and with a not always the easiest thing I've ever done.

Add in there "losing weight/gaining health" ...and everything is a juggle. Time is of the essence ALL the time..and it would be so much faster to hit drive thru for dinner on the way home than cook real food.

But, I'm working on it. I went to costco last night and stocked up on stuff for easy meals, including some the kids can just fix for themselves on nights I am too "done" to cook while Jodie's in Louisiana.

Of course, Jodie coming home next month or so will be a whole new experience, LOL...cuz since she's been gone to help her mom through chemo...i've quit diet coke, stopped eating out, started working out 5-6 days a week, and changed up what we're eating. jodie's a southern gal....and she eats southern. Fried everything and her idea of a veggie is corn out of a can, LOL.

I'm going to have to be strong in these changes when she gets back. Within a year of our living together I'd gained 45 pounds from fried food and eating out all the time. I got on the "food ride" and didn't get off. When I tried to do better, I got some resistance, LOL. will all be an adventure.

I'm committed to gaining health, and losing weight...and I'm working on being strong in my habits by the time she gets home I can STAY there. No, she doesn't hold a gun to my head, but it's so much easier to go along with someone about food than to stand your ground day in and day out.

Fall allergies are kickin' my heinie. not sick enough to stay home, feel crappy at work. woo hoo. :)

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AMBERZADE 10/8/2010 6:33AM

    I hope you feel better soon.

I understand all your worries. Eating right with younger kids around, and working, and going to school is really difficult. My life has gotten a lot easier since my son decided to be on a diet and exercise regimen.

I wish you all the best. emoticon

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DITA48 10/7/2010 11:35AM

    My wife is a big foodie (me too really). I have gained 10 lbs every year we have been together (I think she is too). Fat and happy, that's what we say. So, making the changes to exercise more and track what I eat, was very hard. Like you say, she's not preventing me from making these changes. She's supportive, but she looked at me funny at first too. But my motivation finally overshadowed the gut feeling to conform to the relationship dynamic. She says I sound like I'm dying when I'm doing my workouts with my trainer at 6 am in the den. Oh well - I've lost 15 lbs so far and feel better, and sexier, and more energetic. And that is an improvement she likes too! :)

Give Jodie time to see the benefits of your changes, and she'll get on board (hopefully).

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JULIEIRENE 10/7/2010 10:30AM

    I could be a fulltime student too! So proud of you for managing that along with everything else!

I love that you are assessing the changes you've made and trying to anticipate ways to stay on board with Jodie's return. I know it will be good for you two to be in the same home together again, so I especially hope for you that you can negotiate a way to continue your new healthy habits! You can do it!

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shameless self promotion

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Shameless self promotion. This is actually not a problem I struggle with.....I struggle with promoting myself at all.

Taught that pride is a terrible sin, (instead to strive for humbleness). So tooting my own horn is a struggle.

I sit back and wait quietly for my accomplishments or hard work to be noticed. If I get praise, kudos, hired, whatever...then I am rewarded. If I get little or no response...then i don't.

All well and good if it doesn't bother you. if it begins to bother you...the seeds of resentment are sown...and eventually bitterness and anger blossom.

I really dislike people who constantly are on about "mememememememe". In the world of art..."arteests" are often known for their self centered or egotistical characteristics. So I see daily posts on Facebook etc by my dance peeps...who have no problem saying "I'm ALL THAT!" and in response...they get hired, they get booked to teach etc.

Sometimes I am more qualified than those people. I have awards under my belt. I've been dancing 2x as long. I have training and certification they don't have. But they promote themselves and I don't and they get booked and I don't.

So it seems easy to say, then promote yourself! but how do we brag on ourselves when A) we were taught from birth its the rudest thing ever, B) and that not to mention rude, it is egotistical AND morally wrong, C) we have 45+ years of being a certain way. D) we're afraid we will shamelessly promote ourselves...and not be successful.

Not so easy...easy to say..not so easy to change years of being and DO

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    What a GREAT blog! This really hits me where I live. In a huge way. I was raised the exact same way; partly it's an Indian thing, and partly.. well, my 'mother' was insane, lol. I now know that her child-rearng practices were bizarre and destroyed self-esteem, but I didn't know that then, lol!

I quit FB and Face Space too, because I'm not into the "entitlement disorder" movement. But for visual artists, they can be good places to promote.

I've been learning the art of self-promotion from... Spark!!! Really, if you don't talk about it, you don't get heard, so go for it. It thickens your skin, and gets you used to puttng yourself out there. It's hard to change, but you learn bit by bit. Now, I can self-promote on (extremely well-chosen) social networking sites geared to my audience, and feel ok, as I am promoting a 'product' rather than 'me'. I've also learned how to keep a barrier between 'the hype' and who I truly am from friends overseas who are uber-talented, much more so than any American in our art form, and yet who infinitely more humble and personable.

They have taught me that there are many pathways to success, and you absolutely do *not* have to be brash and egotistical about it, even in this age. What a relief!

Keep up the great work, and I hear ya in the struggle!!

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JULIEIRENE 10/6/2010 12:44PM

    I think this is a really interesting blog post and an interesting study of your self and belief system and reaction to the world around you.

As a former artist & performer, I know exactly what you mean about "arteests," and the egos that can be present out in the community and field. I think in some regards that ego helps to protect the vulnerability you mention toward the end of your blog - putting yourself out there is scary and particularly in the art world, it is very personal. Your work is a piece of yourself, and that makes it all the more scary. I think some people cover this up by over-pronouncing their ego.

The other thought I had while reading this was about the value of our bodies and minds. As artists, our tools are our bodies, and we have to care for our tools in the same way any craftsman has to care for the tools of their trade. I wonder if, in a sense, those messages you were raised with also somehow translated into a belief that you are less important and your body is less valuable than those around you. It could be tied to the same reason you struggle with working so much and making time to do healthy things for yourself.

Just as over-promoting yourself on one extreme can be unhealthy and make you unapproachable, so can under-promoting and undervaluing yourself be on the opposite extreme. While its easier said than done, I think the goal to strive for is a balance. Find maybe one small thing you can do to highlight a strength or success of yours publicly. See how that feels and be open to it. You may surprise yourself!

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DITA48 10/6/2010 11:27AM

    There is a wonderful musician at my church, a well kept secret really. My wife and I have often wondered how he's stayed so long, because he's really really talented. Well, last year, he hired a publicist. The issue is what you talk about, not being able to toot his own horn. But in the arts, I think you have to develop an ego (even if it's only for promotion). Now this same man (shy as can be) was handing out slips of paper after service to go online and vote for him in a local newspaper poll for best local musician. Because who wins that competition (and the associated exposure) isn't the best musician, it's the best run popularity campaign.

I think you can move in that direction without losing your moral footing. Be yourself, but make a marketing plan. If you can attribute what you are doing for self-promotion to your end goal (increased bookings, increased income, job satisfaction), then maybe it won't be such a moral dilemna. And remember, it's going to feel uncomfortable, because it goes against your grain. But with practice, I think you'll find a middle ground (allowing for promotion, but within your moral boundaries).

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SIRRAHMH 10/6/2010 9:33AM

    I quit FB nearly a year ago. I got so tired of everyone "self-promoting". Once I realized I was guilty of it too, I stopped logging on. I missed it a couple of times because it is a great communication tool, but now I am so glad I quit. My spirit feels better. I'm not in a silent competition to get noticed. I don't care what others think of me and I'm no longer nosing around FB seeing what everyone else is up to. Who cares what they are doing. I'm gonna live MY life. You need to live your life your way. Try not to do anything you will later regret.

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AGUAWOMEN 10/6/2010 9:03AM

    Just do it, then you might get what you want.

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Woo hoo!

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

I said, "i need to bump up my cardio". i've said that before...and I've been less than successful for more than a day or two.

The last week - I've nailed it. Frankly, i've amazed myself. See, the reality is I'm busy, I'm tired a lot (for various reaons, health issues included), and I have a lot going on that i use for excuses. I have homework, or work, or the kids or blah blah blah. So being able to work out consistently has sort of eluded me. had a bad attitude about it...takes time. I don't "feel" like it.

Charming, I know. The fat chick wants to lose weight but she doesn't really wanna have to "do' anything, LOL.

This week I exercised 6 out of 7 days, taking that one day off on purpose, and averaging 40 minutes per session, with two days of strength training in addition to the cardio.

Last night, after teaching a class then taking someone else's class....I hurt all over, LOL. but it was a GOOD feeling! A feeling that I really DID something and didn't just talk about it.

go me. :)

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JULIEIRENE 10/5/2010 1:02PM

    Congratulations! That is really awesome and I am SO proud of you! I think as you build consistency with this you will find that it gives you more energy rather than taking it from you, and that will help you stay motivated. Doesn't that good sore feeling feel great? Keep up the good work!

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JENMEK 10/5/2010 11:30AM

    This is REALLY great news! Increasing your cardio will shed that weight even faster. I do cardio as well as weight training (twice a week) and doing both is so wonderfully helpful getting those losses going AND with energizing you! Soon, you won't be so tired...honestly! Keep up this great work, and you'll soon be springing up out of bed in the AM ready to take on your day!

Congrats and keep it up!
- Jen

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PRYDEQUEEN 10/5/2010 9:36AM


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Five goals for October

Monday, October 04, 2010

I posted goals a couple days ago, but an extra credit for the LC Challenge is to post 5 goals in a blog entry, so here it goes...

1) LC cafe 1000 calorie challenge - goal to burn 1000 calories a week. This fits right in with bumping up my cardio!
2) 5 fruits and vegies a day
3) Wear my CPAP every night. This goal is not going so great and it's only October 4th...
4) Stretch every day
5) Stay organized so I don't get behind in my college classes. This is a big issue - organization.

There we go, 5 goals for October!

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HAPPY_HANK 10/5/2010 9:16PM


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CHASGAL1211 10/4/2010 10:59AM

    Best of luck on those goals!! You can do it!!

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PRYDEQUEEN 10/4/2010 9:26AM

    Great goals!

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JAPOPE1 10/4/2010 8:46AM

  those are great can do it!! emoticon

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