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Another day...another dollar....

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

It's a new day...and I'm starting out much less agitated. No, nothings really changed, but I have a better grip today.

So far, LOL.

Killer dance class last night, the sweat was dripping! Good weigh in this a.m, down 2.7 pounds to 239.9.

This is sort of my sticky point...I get a tiny bit under 240 and my body puts up a fight to go lower. Just going to keep up the walking, the dance class, and tracking food (tho that's been poor this week so far!) and not. freak. out. about. the. numbers.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TCJEAN 5/24/2011 9:04AM

That sounds like an excellent plan for success! And since you realize this happens, you can use that to stay with it and get past your 'sticky point'. :-)

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Monday, May 23, 2011

My Monday morning started out with my partner in crisis mode over money...and I'm finding myself agitated as h*ll.

Yep, Money is a big problem right now - there isn't enough of it, car in the shop and I can't pay for it....etc, etc, etc.

In the past - this is where I ate. I ate to soothe myself, I ate to comfort myself, I ate to avoid feeling.

Feeling the feelings ..... sucks. But I'm not going to cram food into my mouth anymore to avoid it. The pain of the weight and poor health is just as bad as the temporary feelings of fear and worry....and the weight lasts a lot longer.

I'm usually a "the glass is half full" kinda gal...and it gets me through. So here's my reminder of why the glass is half full:

- I have a job, and I get a paycheck. This is a temporary event.
- I have people who love me.
- I believe in myself - I can do this.
- The sun is shining.

So - I've vented here, I've cried my tears of worry and fear, and now I'll move on. I'll get down to work and be the best employee I can and I'll focus on eating healthy food only when I'm hungry and not as a drug to avoid pain.

If you also are an emotional eater, how have YOU changed your old habits of eating to avoid or comfort yourself?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 5/23/2011 11:26AM

    I understand crisis mode.......I've been in it off and on since my hubby lost his job a month ago. I wasn't working when it happened but I am looking now!

I am an emotional eater, too. If it's late in the day/evening I go to bed. I take a walk or run. I jog on my mini trampoline. I go upstairs, far from the kitchen and clean something. I call a friend. I sign on to SP and read a motivating story or post something. I work on one of my on going projects..... cross stitching my grand-daughter's Christmas stocking, scanning old family pictures & labeling them etc.

I have more to be grateful for than anyone I know.
I have a good marriage and love my husband dearly.
I have a supportive and loving family.
I have good friends.......and good virtual friends too....Thanks, Lisa
I have grand-children!
We have Cobra and the money to pay for it.
We are in good health.
I usually look on the bright side!
I have a reliable car.
I could go on & on........I am blessed

So proud of you for hunting for other ways to comfort yourself. I still find my self "comfort eating" on occasion. It will always be a fight but it's one I know I can deal with and win (well, most of the time)

I love that you are posting everyday........I look forward to your blogs.

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AJB121299 5/23/2011 10:16AM

    think positive thoughts, that is the best thing for a person. Go and have a laugh at the daily comics. remember a smile is contagous.

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ch-ch-ch- changes....

Saturday, May 21, 2011

As I gained weight...I stopped looking at my body. I avoided mirrors and pretty much looked at myself from the chest up. After losing 15-20 pounds I realized my full, round, apple-shaped belly had "fallen".

Since beginning more exercise - pretty insanely slowly I might add - I haven't noticed much decrease in weight...but the belly is "evolving". Lower belly soft, hangs down and touches the top of my thighs.

Dead sexy let me tell you, LOL.

The whole belly button thing sliding down that I mentioned makes sense, but it disturbs me just the same, lol...My upper arms are looser...and flap more.

These things are not what we imagine for ourselves when we begin to change our bodies. We imagine ourselves shrinking....and not leaving flaps of loose skin and flab waving in the wind!

But you know what, I'll take them. I'll take them as badges of honor....that I'm DOING this. That I'm making changes....

This week i walked three miles, did two 90 minute dance classes, and burned 650 calories. That's the best i've done in months. I also gave myself some incentive and signed up for "Heaven Can Wait" - a charity cancer walk in my city. And all this walking the last few weeks had an amazing benefit:

My partner, who has not walked anywhere willingly by herself in the 6 years she's been here....took a mile walk this week. Her own idea, she just did it.

I inspired someone I love to get up and do something. That really rocks.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 5/22/2011 9:43PM

    That does rock! I'm so happy you were able to inspire your partner to walk a all adds up!

I take my bat wings and flabby tummy as badges of honor too AND reminders to move forward. I NEVER want to fill up my saggy skin again!

Good for you for the walk and the dance classes......keep it up!

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SIMPLYWHOLE 5/21/2011 3:42PM

    Way To go for. Your post was a positive for me and I am happy for you as you continue your course.



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TGIF baybee....

Friday, May 20, 2011

Wow am I glad to see Friday roll in...and with clear skies and sunshine! Woo hoo!

Weigh in/measure today. Sort of odd...I lost two pounds - whoo hoo....and my measurements are shifting...up. BUT I think the problem here is this: I am carrying probably 50% of my obesity in my stomach - the worst place healthwise. I can SEE definite huge ol' belly is sagging lower than it was last week...and this may sound weird if you haven't been 100 pounds overweight...but my belly button is going lower. I can see/feel that from my belly button and below - the abdomen is getting very soft and flabby...where it used to just be the whole belly was very firm and round. I walk more and eat's still firm and roundish above the belly button...but sagging and looser below the belly button.

It's not a pretty sight. LMAO! Sort of like having a muffin top....when you aren't wearing anything to push it up and over the top! While it's a little disturbing, LOL, I'll take it as progress! So when I measure (typically right at belly button for "waist" since I dont' have a waist, LOL)....the measurements are shifting belly is shifting.

Huh. the things you would never have thought about if you weren't lugging around 100 extra pounds.....

Ready for the weekend! My job is making me crazy so I'll be relieved to be out of here for two days. Enjoy your friday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 5/20/2011 11:25AM

    YAY and congrats for two pounds lost!

I was 130 pounds overweight and am almost to goal. At my highest weight, when I used to run up my stairs my huge belly would slap against my was an AWFUL feeling. I still have an apron of loose skin and fat but it's quit slapping when I run (-: I never thought about it but I think my belly button has moved too!

Hope you have a wonderful and relaxing weekend!

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thursday check in

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Yesterday I had a break through.... a change in thinking that I think will incredible for my journey of gaining health.

It was a day. Short staffed at work, one of the docs dropped a huge project on me and expected it would get done in a snap, LOL, I had a massage which was actually painful because I was SO. FREAKIN. TIGHT....and when I walked out of the massage...found I'd left my lights on (it'd been raining) and my car was dead on a very busy downtown street...

That kinda day.

The breakthrough came when I was finally on my way home I thought to myself: "I've had a crappy day....I could just swing into DQ for some ice cream to make myself feel, that's not a good idea. I need to lace up the shoes and walk the dog. Even if it's only 10 minutes...I really need the stress relief".

Boom! it hit me....this is the first time in my life I chose exercise to reduce my stress WILLINGLY. yep, i'd done it before...but it was grudging. Oh man, WAS it! I was pissy and felt sorry for myself when it happened.

Until last night, I have exercised SOLELY because I "should" or "I have to exercise because I'm trying to lose weight". Exercise has not been "fun" to's been another chore in a long line of chores. I started realizing when I started the bellydance 'bootcamp' class again (the kick but 45 minute "warmup" of planks, push ups, crunches followed by 45 min of hard dancing class) that it was reducing my stress....but i didn't choose to do it for that.

To willingly choose exercise is a huge breakthrough for me. HUGE. I know, the shift there is small...but it's an internal shift i didn't think would ever happen for me...especially when there's a DQ on the way home, LOL!

Today's a new day....and I'm ready to see the end of this week. Happy thursday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEGENNAN 5/19/2011 11:01AM

    That is amazing! I am used to eating to make myself feel better, too, so I know how freakin' hard it is to break that habit. It only temporarily gives you a good feeling and then you feel bad about it later AND it's bad for your health. But it's so hard to resist. That is SO AMAZING that you chose to walk the dog instead. What a rough day! I bet your dog was super happy that you made that choice, too emoticon

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