Thursday, May 26, 2011
Measured today....couple inches total off hips/waist. I keep measuring at specific spots to try to be accurate..but as my body changes, droops, softens....it's hard to tell. Still, I'm taking the measurements at face value - my clothes fit differently so that's an affirmation that the measurements aren't far off.
I've exercised consistently for three weeks - at least 10 minutes a day, sometimes 90 minutes a day. I've done strength training, cardio, and stretching. I've cut my food consumption considerably...I haven't been "perfect" but I've been consistent.
Yesterday, when it was raining I chose not to do my morning walk. By afternoon, I felt like I was about to crawl out of my skin...so even tho it was still windy and drippy, I walked anyway and it helped. I think my body has hit that point of wanting the movement - which is a good thing.
Mood is still low - directly corresponding to finances and issues with my son. But...nonetheless....I got up and came to work. I did my hair, I showered and did my makeup. I wore my walking shoes and brought my ipod so I can walk on my break. I brought pears and string cheese for snack, and have crystal light in the battle to get more water down.
I'm low emotionally...but I'm not out. One foot in front of the other. One day after another. One workout, one meal, one thing....All I have to do is get through to the next thing, eh?
So today's question: What's on your ipod for working out? Currently, I'm listening to Pink's "Raise your glass" - repeated during my walk. I like the beat, I like the sentiment...."wrong in all the right ways" sort of fits me....So what do YOU listen to most?
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
It's a new day...and I'm starting out much less agitated. No, nothings really changed, but I have a better grip today.
So far, LOL.
Killer dance class last night, the sweat was dripping! Good weigh in this a.m, down 2.7 pounds to 239.9.
This is sort of my sticky point...I get a tiny bit under 240 and my body puts up a fight to go lower. Just going to keep up the walking, the dance class, and tracking food (tho that's been poor this week so far!) and not. freak. out. about. the. numbers.
Monday, May 23, 2011
My Monday morning started out with my partner in crisis mode over money...and I'm finding myself agitated as h*ll.
Yep, Money is a big problem right now - there isn't enough of it, car in the shop and I can't pay for it....etc, etc, etc.
In the past - this is where I ate. I ate to soothe myself, I ate to comfort myself, I ate to avoid feeling.
Feeling the feelings ..... sucks. But I'm not going to cram food into my mouth anymore to avoid it. The pain of the weight and poor health is just as bad as the temporary feelings of fear and worry....and the weight lasts a lot longer.
I'm usually a "the glass is half full" kinda gal...and it gets me through. So here's my reminder of why the glass is half full:
- I have a job, and I get a paycheck. This is a temporary event.
- I have people who love me.
- I believe in myself - I can do this.
- The sun is shining.
So - I've vented here, I've cried my tears of worry and fear, and now I'll move on. I'll get down to work and be the best employee I can and I'll focus on eating healthy food only when I'm hungry and not as a drug to avoid pain.
If you also are an emotional eater, how have YOU changed your old habits of eating to avoid or comfort yourself?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
As I gained weight...I stopped looking at my body. I avoided mirrors and pretty much looked at myself from the chest up. After losing 15-20 pounds I realized my full, round, apple-shaped belly had "fallen".
Since beginning more exercise - pretty insanely slowly I might add - I haven't noticed much decrease in weight...but the belly is "evolving". Lower belly soft, flabby...now hangs down and touches the top of my thighs.
Dead sexy let me tell you, LOL.
The whole belly button thing sliding down that I mentioned yesterday...it makes sense, but it disturbs me just the same, lol...My upper arms are looser...and flap more.
These things are not what we imagine for ourselves when we begin to change our bodies. We imagine ourselves shrinking....and not leaving flaps of loose skin and flab waving in the wind!
But you know what, I'll take them. I'll take them as badges of honor....that I'm DOING this. That I'm making changes....
This week i walked three miles, did two 90 minute dance classes, and burned 650 calories. That's the best i've done in months. I also gave myself some incentive and signed up for "Heaven Can Wait" - a charity cancer walk in my city. And all this walking the last few weeks had an amazing benefit:
My partner, who has not walked anywhere willingly by herself in the 6 years she's been here....took a mile walk this week. Her own idea, she just did it.
I inspired someone I love to get up and do something. That really rocks.
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