NOREGRET2010   47,476
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Monday Morning Reality....

Monday, June 06, 2011

whew, that weekend FLEW by!

The 5k went GREAT! Here i worried that because she hadn't trained at ALL, the walk would be pretty hard for Jodie...and yes, lol, there were a few times she said "I hate you" in a joking way - but she did GREAT! We did the 5K in 75 minutes, which breaks down to 25 minute miles - I'm very very satisfied with that!

I also shared my idea of working toward walking the Portland Marathon the year we turn 50...three years from now, and using this event as a spring board for that. She was pretty nonpulsed when she learned how far a marathon is, LOL! But I told her it's MY goal, she does not have to participate in it at all if she doesn't want to. We'll see......

And, just as I knew it would - writing about my feelings of resentment/envy of friends who have lost weight (unhealth-fully) has taken some of the edge off of those feelings for me. I have today - that's all we ever really have - to make a difference in my health, my weight, my stamina, my life. Feeling down about other's "unfair" success is perhaps normal, albeit not something I'm proud of. But, they are "feelings"and I get to have them! So, today, if I get that "aw, I don't really want to walk" feeling on my break, I will use those feelings to propel me out the door!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 6/7/2011 12:13AM

    Great news about the 5K.......wonderful goal to walk a marathon by the time you are 50! Three years to train is plenty of time.

Congrats on a great day!

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CHEETARA79 6/6/2011 8:52AM

    Great job on the 5k!

Yes, you are losing weight the healthy way. Sometimes the healthy way is slow and boring but it WORKS! And if you lose slowly, you're more likely to keep it off, right?

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Sour Grapes...

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Two people i know have lost a lot of weight. I'm having a hard time with jealousy and resentment.

These aren't necessarily people I'm close to...and being aware that neither of them accomplished it in very healthy ways (diet pills etc) isn't helping me.

I'm seeing one of them this weekend...and I'm having a hard time thinking about it. She was successful - and I have not been. Yes, she used diet pills and other means I'm not interested in pursuing...

But I have a bad attitude about it in both of these cases. I'm envious. I'm jealous. I'm ticked off. The diet pills/crazy diets etc aren't supposed to work...but it did for both of these women and here I sit.

I'm writing about this in the hope I can get it out of my system. That I can get the ugly feeling out of my head...and heart....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAR140 6/6/2011 10:00PM

    Don't let their actions bring you down - you already acknowledged that they did it in unhealthy ways! Even if they see results, don't let that fool you - they probably lost valuable lean muscle tissue along the way, thus reducing their metabolism. If they didn't make healthy lifestyle changes, guess what - they're MUCH more likely to gain it back now!! Keep making your small changes, and you will see results - maybe not as fast as they did, but you'll be making lasting changes.

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TERRYT55 6/6/2011 12:15AM

    I think you are more than halfway there just by acknowledging these feelings and writing about them; it's a healthy to deal with them.

You're feeling the injustice of the situation perhaps because you haven't lessened your own standards by giving in to these quick solutions. Keep hold of that inner strength, because whether you're close to these people or not, they may ultimately need you as a friend should these band-aid methods fail them in the future.

In my own opinion, it's not as necessary for you to judge them harshly as it is to forgive yourself for feelings you're entitled to have. Keep being strong, and plug away at it one day at a time. Even a small success can breed more success. Please write back and let me know how you are doing.

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Stepping out of my comfort zone....

Sunday, June 05, 2011

I took a huge leap....

I asked to dance in a show on June 10th. Following that, I could have taken a less scary (for me) route and danced to a CD...but I asked to dance to live music.

Pretty big steps outside the zone of my safety. See, I dance with my troupe and sure that is hard in some respects with my weight...but to be the only one up there is REALLY hard. And live music? Well, I'm a control freak, LOL. I want to know what's coming next, and with a live band, even the music you pick they might play a lil different....

Soooooo yeah. Scary crap for me!

But I did it to push myelf, to grow, to MAKE myself do this.

I was NOT pleased with my performance in April. first off, yep, my big belly seemed freakin' HUGE and secondly, I didn't dance to my level. I played it "safe". It was fine....but it wasn't ME if that makes any sense and I was really, really unhappy afterward.

so this time, I'm pulling out the stops......

Today: first 5K in a year! Heaven Can Wait walk/run in Bend, Oregon benefiting the Sara Fisher Breast Cancer Project. My partner's first walk EVER...and she didn't train. She signed up and sort of turned her nose up at "training". So this is going to be a very interesting walk, LOL.....5K doesn't SOUND like much but...um yeah. LOL!

THEN I teach a 1.5 hour dance class tonight. I'm hitting that calories burned mark this week for sure!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 6/6/2011 12:22AM

    Hooray, and good for you! I stepped out of my comfort zone today, and ran in the Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon in San Diego--I'm exhausted and blistered, but it felt great. My daughter ran it with me, and she didn't train at all (sounds familiar, doesn't it?). Even so, she stayed a few seconds ahead of me most of the race, and was my encourager and push person! I love her so much, and I'm so proud of her.

You rock for doing that today and then teaching a class, too. How did it all go? How did you do, and how did your partner do?

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MISSLISA1973 6/5/2011 10:08AM

    Wow! Busy week! Way to go to push yourself like that with your dancing. emoticon

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Do the math bay-beee....

Friday, June 03, 2011

Sometimes I'm a lil slow. Some times I'm REALLY slow. Apparently, on this subject - i'm the latter.

So looking at my spark page, I looked at the recommended calories burned per week. Now, I see this daily and I see the little arrow...and I don't think too much about it.

Yesterday, I looked at it and noticed I wasn't going very far with that lil arrow. Ithought huh. I wonder what my usual weekly calorie burn is?

um - way below the recommendation. recently it's been better...but not near the goal. Not. Near. Recommdnded is 1380...and I hit around 800 on a good week.

Well DUH. Hello! Wake up lil Susie!

No wonder I'm not losing weight! Yes, this really was an epiphany to me, I'm embarrassed to say! I just have not been paying much attention...well, i'm paying attention NOW!

Add to my June goals: Burn 1380 or more calories per week! to kick that off, I went for an extra 30 minute walk last night.

I feel pretty dumb, LOL, but at least I'm finally aware!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRY2KEEPGOING 6/5/2011 12:14PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DEGENNAN 6/3/2011 11:21AM

    It is a time commitment to burn all those calories each week. You are off to a great start with your extra walk last night! Sometimes I am sluggish to get out the door and start moving, but I never regret it once I get going. And just this week I was thinking about some of my friends who say they don't have time to work out or come for walks, but then they seem to find the time to watch all these TV programs...but I digress. It is so important that you noticed this area for improvement and adjusted your goals accordingly emoticon

Nat

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CHEETARA79 6/3/2011 9:20AM

    I recently upped my cardio calories too! If you can't burn all 1380 a week, you can change your workouts so that your recommended calories per day reflect the change. Don't neglect the strength training either!

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Thursday Check in

Thursday, June 02, 2011

I weighed again today. Not because I wondered if it was different or had some idea I'd lost weight, I weighed because I needed to SEE the numbers. I need to take ownership of my weight - how much I weigh REALLY.

252 pounds on a 5' frame. Arthritis, knees worn out, back problems, sleep apnea, pre-diabetic, blood pressure creeping up.....

That's reality.

What am I doing about it? I've already begun a reasonable walking program and I'm proud of what I've accomplished. I've made having a daily walk a habit and I don't feel "right" if I don't have it now...my body wants the activity. That's a huge success. I walked 20 miles last month...that's way more than any other month in a very long time. I've started adding more 10 minute segments of activity into my days...and I can feel I'm gaining stamina.

No, the numbers on the scale will not rule me...will not define me...but I will also look at them honestly and not stick my head in the sand anymore either.

This is going to be a high pressure two weeks...I have very tight finances yet again, and eating well is likely not going to be easy or consistent. When you are this broke...you eat rice and potatos and cheap filling food. Just the same, I will track my food and be honest with myself about what I'm eating.

I'm gaining ground on the water war! Not quite 8 cups yesterday, but very close....

Ah, another day...another dollar. Better get to work...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAR140 6/3/2011 8:35PM

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DEGENNAN 6/3/2011 11:23AM

    You are doing great! It was very brave of you to face the scale, and wise of you to not let the number rule you. I gained a lot of weight when I was in school and just scraping by with little money to buy healthy food, so I can totally relate. But I did NOT gain the weight until after I stopped biking and walking everywhere. One thing you can control when finances are tough are the minutes you spend walking. It sounds like you've already upped those minutes each and month, so you're clearly on the right path emoticon

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KATCHAGIRL 6/2/2011 7:49PM

    GREAT to hear you drinking the water! Keep up the good work and stay positive!! emoticon

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KJQPLUS3 6/2/2011 11:20AM

  Great Blog! You are being honest with yourself. You just need to realize the weight didn't show up overnight it will take a little bit of time to work off the weight but you have a great attitude and now your body is telling you what you are doing is right! Keep it up!! emoticon

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