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A picture I would post no where but HERE

Sunday, July 10, 2011



A picture is worth a thousand words, eh? Yep...that's me, first on the right.

That pic was taken in April. It's the event I danced at - and cried when I watched the video because I was sooooo big.

At another time, I would have buried that pic and it would not have EVER seen the light of day. But...not facing those pictures doesn't help me.

What do I see in that pic, when I look at myself? Well, for one, I see the belly. Then I see the age that's crept up on me. But then, I see a woman who is moving and shaking (it), literally, LOL. I'm not hiding in my room till I "lose the weight" - I'm living life while I'm working on it.

yesterday i got suckered into helping someone...long story, I felt taken advantage of and at first I felt angry...then I decided to turn it around: What I got was a four-hour workout moving about 30 heavy containers, setting up a tent and getting this woman's vending stuff set up for a festival. Yeah, the way it happened was not cool...but hey, I got a WORKOUT out of it, LOL.

Now, I'm going to sign off...put on my shoes and hit the trail...and see if I can repeat my running efforts of Friday...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAPPY_HANK 7/15/2011 9:47AM

    You are awesome!!!!

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CARANN56 7/13/2011 6:55AM

    You are definitely on the right track and have the right mindset! You are going to do amazing things!

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PINKCIS 7/12/2011 10:08PM

    And you will be excited when you see the weight just melt away. You can do it! emoticon

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SHOOTIN4STARS 7/10/2011 8:48PM

    I'm a firm believer in living in the now. We may not be here tomorrow, and whether we die fat or skinny, the important thing is that we lived life to fullest every day. I truly admire you!

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IRISHBEANERGAL 7/10/2011 1:31PM

    I LOVE that you are belly dancing (you are belly dancing in that picture right? lol)

It's been something I've wanted to do for a very very long time, since I saw a belly dancer at the age of 12... I'm 46... do the math...

You've inspired me to look into it again....

THANK YOU!

~Irish (aka The Incredible Shrinking Mom)

**JULY MANTRA - PLAN to work and WORK your plan**

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NARNIAROSE2003 7/10/2011 10:37AM

    Good for you! I think re-training our minds to see the beautiful things about ourselves is the hardest part - but it's the part that will make the lasting differences. And YES - live your life NOW! Thanks for inspiring me!

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DANCING_RAVEN 7/10/2011 10:20AM

    I love the fact that you are living your life! Keep that spirit up!!!

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CUPBUTTER 7/10/2011 10:01AM

    I am impressed. Go girl go. Hugs Barbara

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SUSUSUZZZIE 7/10/2011 9:50AM

    I think it's a great pictue - you look beautiful. I love that you are "living life" and it's very inspirational,as I am facing an innner-struggle that I could easily allow me to just go back to hiding in the house.

Keep on moving and shaking (it)!
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TRY2KEEPGOING 7/10/2011 9:49AM

    I admire your courage and fortitude! You have a healthy attitude and your healthy body will follow along.
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DIAMONDFOOLER 7/10/2011 9:39AM

    You Go Girl.!!!! emoticon

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ELINTY 7/10/2011 9:36AM

  half the ballte of dieting is already won when you have a great attitude about things like you seem to have good luck

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and then.....I ran

Friday, July 08, 2011

I want to track 25 miles this month. Walking at a typical 25 minute mile pace, that would be around 11 hours of my time to accomplish. Over a month, that doesn't seem like a lot - but my life is so crazy/hectic that it's been a real struggle. I chatted with a friend who took up running after a long absence...and was abashed to hear she's running 25 miles in a WEEK. But...I have arthritis...I am packing around 250 pounds on a 5' frame....and I've never liked running. Ever. Even as a kid.

Today, I got up and hit the trail while it was cool....and before I could veg in front of the computer with coffee and end up doing nothing. I was walking along at a pretty good clip...when I noticed two women very causally jogging past me. Even at my pretty good pace...they quickly moved out of sight even with their casual jog.

I got ticked off.

And I started to jog.

I won't embarrass myself by telling you how quickly I was out of breath and had to stop. I walked till I regained my breath....and did it again. And Again. And AGAIN, until I was back at the car.

I shaved 5 minutes of my usual time.

No...I won't be hitting 25 miles a week for a long time to come. But I ran. I ran until I couldn't run...and then I ran again.

I'm freaking proud of myself!

I was also relieved this a.m. - Finally, after tracking my food (a huge hurdle for me), working on getting those 1400 cal a week burned....the scale finally gave a little on this morning's weigh in...and I'm down 3 pounds. 249...finally back under 250.

Here's to living...regardless of what we weigh...really living. I was reminded of my dad, who died too early trapped in a morbidly obese body he could barely move out of the bed. That's not going to happen to me. Period.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEGENNAN 7/11/2011 10:06AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TERRYT55 7/9/2011 12:19AM

    What a HAPPY blog. Good for you......I'll bet you felt great when you walked off that track. It doesn't matter how far you went or how fast....it matters that you DID IT!

WOW....down three pounds too. Congrats

You are doing a great job.....keep it up. I can't wait to hear about your next run!

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SINABUNN 7/8/2011 11:26AM

    That's my girl!!!!! And next time you'll run a little more, just because you KNOW YOU CAN!! emoticon

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STLSUE01 7/8/2011 10:57AM

  You go, girl! What an awesome accomplishment!

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ELIZABETH160 7/8/2011 10:43AM

    That's awesome! Great job! I have trouble coaxing myself into running... I still feel pretty embarrassed at the gym, on the treadmill, with other people. So I don't run very often. Way to go!

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CHANGINGSAM 7/8/2011 10:28AM

    Wow! Congrats on your run! Keep up the good work!

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CRYSTALGL77 7/8/2011 10:26AM

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99 days....

Thursday, July 07, 2011

until my big dance event. yep, just typing that makes me wanna get up and run around the block, LOL, to do what I can before that date....

This week has been completely messed up schedule wise...and the heat has made it more difficult for me to slip in extra or replacement exercise - especially my walking. Must work on being more creative about that.

Realized this a.m. my alarm clock got set incorrectly somewhere along the line. My mornings have felt rushed and I really HATE that, which is why I set that clock a lil ahead...except it's back at the "right" time .... I'll be fixing that tonight!

Goals so far:
Tracking - YES!
Exercise - UGH, not getting there! must fix that TODAY.
Water - yes and no, consistency needed.
Dance - Back to that schedule thing....

My mood, however, is better today...and that's pretty freaking great after a week of pushing through feeling blue.

A new day - another day to work on my health, build good relationships, and work toward goals! Yee haw - let's do it!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 7/9/2011 12:13AM

    Yikes......a messed up schedule AND heat makes for a more stressful week! Happy you figured out your your alarm clock was set incorrectly. Too bad it's not that easy to fix the heat (-:

Good for you for tracking well and getting lots of water. I can see you must have gotten more exercise from the title of today's blog. I'm off to read that now! Keep up the good work!

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Wednesday check in

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

4th of July went far, far better than I could have hoped...yes, I had some moments of anxiety - but I didn't eat my weight in food and I built relationship with people who are important to my spouse.

Yesterday however I was dog tired...I'm not used to staying up that late, LOL.

Even tho the holiday went well, I continue to feel my emotions rolling. Maybe that is just the way it is for right now...and it's all good. Not eating my way through them is the goal and I'm doing okay at that. Yesterday, I wanted sugar in the worst way...dessert or candy. I reminded myself I had some of that over the weekend....and that eating dessert whenever I wanted it is part of what got me in this position!

Sometimes i feel like i'm talking to a child - "it's not really good for you to have dessert every day...." LOL.

Yesterday I got my minimum exercise in, tracked all my food, went over by less than 200 calories (and that my friends is a success!), and today is a new day. Right? right!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SINABUNN 7/6/2011 4:31PM

    Right! I must have caught your sugar bug as well... every night I'm fighting with myself to not drive across town for some ice cream. Ugh, the spoiled (fat) brat who lives inside me!!

So glad to hear that the festivities of the 4th went well. I'm so proud of you for facing your fears and putting yourself out there!!!! emoticon

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MAKINYEMI 7/6/2011 8:49AM

  It okay. Today is another day.

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TEACH2READERS 7/6/2011 8:47AM

    Today IS a new day and guess what... emoticon

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CAM2438 7/6/2011 8:44AM

    You're doing great. Keep up the good work.

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DONNAGOWAN 7/6/2011 8:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

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4th of July

Monday, July 04, 2011

Mmmm. This weekend has been out of routine, and I do much better with routine. All in all tho, I won't complain.

Today is a BBQ at a friend of my partners....A Social Event.

I'm an introvert. I have a few close friends. Crowds make me extremely uncomfortable. Going to new people's houses is more ofa stressor to me than a pleasant diversion. In the past...I either sat in a corner and quietly "ate" my feelings or didn't go at all. This is important to Jodie and I happily agreed to go - She's had a hard time making friends, and it's finally happening. That's awesome and I support it 100%!

But I can feel the anxiety niggling. 14 years of being married to an alcoholic husband where every single party, BBQ, you name it resulted in him being wasted - really wasted - ending up in arguments (ever argue with a drunk? You can't, but they often don't want to stop...), trying to get the keys away from him....

Nope, Jodie is not my exhusband. That won't happen. But wow, am I realizing how much those events shaped me today. Instead of being happy about going, I'm dreading it...even tho these are completely different people! I have post-traumatic stress disorder...but I didn't even realize this was a trigger till this a.m. when I woke up with a knot in my stomach over it from dreaming about the not-so-good-old-days.

I will go. I will not eat my weight in food or hide in the corner. I will work on building relationship with people who are important to my spouse. I will make sure I have a large bottle of water and every time I feel that urge to cram food in my mouth to cover my nerves...I'll take a sip.

I can do this...I can do this without binging and without being afraid of what might happen.

I'll let ya know how that works out...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SINABUNN 7/4/2011 11:06AM

    Oh honey. I have faith in you! You're going in with a plan, and that's an excellent first step. The ex-husband, all those years, all that pain... it'll always be with you but it's NOT you. I know you'll do great today!!

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TERRYT55 7/4/2011 10:42AM

    Good Morning, Lisa.......I hope you have a great time today. I so understand your anxiety. I dread new situations too.

My hubby & I are going to a block party today and neither of us know a soul. Hy husband is a bass player and today will be his audition for this band. Good thing he is much more comfortable with new people than I am.

My mom was an alcoholic.........growing up was tough. My dad traveled a lot. I still can't deal with people who've been drinking. Never thought of it as PTSD. Maybe my mom's behavior explains why I don't deal well with crowds or new situations.

I wish we lived closer......I think we could be great "real" friends as well as virtual friends.

I'm looking forward to reading about your day. Good luck.......I'll be sending good thoughts your way.

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