Monday, July 25, 2011
Ah Monday..back to routine.
This is week 2 of C25K...however, I will be repeating week 1. I can't yet run a full minute all five cycles of the workout, so I'll be repeating it until I CAN. Saturday's run I was able to do it 3x...so it's improving. I knew going into it that I would take longer than 5 weeks and I'm good with repeating until I am really THERE.
My cross training needs to get stepped up. Last night I did one of the "boot camp" workouts ...and had my butt handed to me on a platter. I hadn't done one for weeks and boy, could I tell! So I'm trying to set a reasonable goal there...reasonable being the key word. I basically work two jobs and have a family...setting myself up for an unreasonable goal is not good for me. I'm going to give myself a few days to think about what reasonable looks like and form the goal.
You know, rather than saying "I'm going to do the bootcamp EVERY DAY!" which is what I tend to do...set a very unreasonable goal and then burn out. See, old dogs can learn new tricks!
In that same vein....I'm thinking about the 100 pounds I want to shed. I weigh 250ish on any given day...I've gotten down to 239 but popped right back up. The weight is not falling off me, depsite significantly increasing my exercise and making some pretty significant dietary changes as well. My main goal has been to lose X amount in a few months time. Perhaps I need to overhaul my entire goal structure. I'm thinking about the Slowest Loser team...and considering resetting my goal to losing 100 pounds by my 50th birthday, March 11, 2014. Now...that is SLOW. Like 3 pounds a month. I'm thinking about it. I want results RIGHT NOW. But....I've wanted results RIGHT NOW for a very long time. Perhaps I need to approach weight loss as I'm learing to approach running: Go slower than you think you can.
This is looking pretty good at 11 weeks of cycling the same 2 pounds.
At any rate, again, I'm THINKING about it. What is reasonable? What is doable? What will make me feel good about myself instead of feeling guilty and a failure?
Here's to a new week...to get life right.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I am sooo happy to see the weekend! I've had little down time in the last month and today I'm taking a day off! I'll do a couple chores, do day 3 of C25K, and that is IT... I may spend the rest of the day on my butt with a book!
My walk/jog schedule is Tues, Thur and Sat...even tho some blog posts make it look like I'm training on consecutive days - I promise, I'm not! I NEED that day in between for my joints, believe me!
Weigh in reflects the same 2 pounds down. It is discouraging, but I'm not letting it be the focus of what I'm doing. I noticed last night at dance rehersal, my cardio fitness is definitely improving! I was able to run through the routines repeatedly with MUCH less huffing and puffing at the end, and didn't need a break in between every run through. I'm noticing my clothes are fitting differently and two people at work this week said "You're losing weight aren't you?" I just replied "oh I don't know, I try not to weigh too often" LOL. The reality is I've lost and regained the same 2 pounds about 10 weeks in a row! But they don't need to know that! I suspect, one week I will step on the scales and there will finally be a difference and I'll start loosing then. My body apparently really enjoys being fat and wants to keep it!
Emotionally, things have been hard. Money is extremely tight..which makes my partner stress like crazy and she doesn't keep that stress to herself! My son has been up and down with the mood swings...I've been working too much....and sleep has been a problem as well. I can say this week I didn't eat over things, which is a HUGE success for me. So the scales? Eh, I'm not going to sweat that!
Anyone on Pinterest? I'm sort of addicted, LOL! you can save webpages you like in different categories..and I'm really enjoying it - probably too much, "Step away from the computer..."
Have a GREAT weekend!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I will be so freakin' glad to see the end of this week! WHEW. Work crazy-ness...family dysfunction....fatigue.
As seems to be the way for me, the alarm went off and my first thought was: It's run day. I don't want to....
But I did it anyway.
On my way out the door, my partner said "have fun on your walk" and I stopped and said "mmmm, I don't really find it fun. Yet. I don't know that I ever will. But I have to do it...it's good for me....and it makes me feel good about myself".
That's it in a nutshell. It doesn't matter that it isn't fun...it doesn't matter that the scale continues to play with the same 2 pounds....it matters that running 3x a week makes me feel good about myself. That's something I've struggled to find my whole life...and this works.
I learned a lesson today. Because of a huge event (the Cascade Cycling Classic), my usual walk/jog route was out of the question - around 1,000 extra people (literally) right in the middle of my route. I used the map thingy here on Spark to map a route in my neighborhood and the most resonable route was 1.18 miles. My usual is 1.27. 11/10ths of a mile less, no biggie.
Well, I got smarty pants on myself. I thought, this is a little shorter route, I'll work HARDER!! I ran sooner and longer than usual....and burned myself out. Instead of the usual 5 reps of walk/jog, I could only do 4 reps of jogging...and I was badly winded the last half of the route...which slowed me down. I did the exact opposite of what I thought. As I was panting and kicking myself I recalled a running article I read here by Coach Nancy Howard that said "Go slower than you think you can".
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Yesterday, the weather finally broke and it stopped raining. I'm hearing from some of you that you'd appreciate it coming your way....here's hoping it does! I truly don't mind a little rain - I go out for walks if it's sprinkling -it's not like I'm going to melt, LOL...but that full bore rain thing? Nope. Can't see through my glasses (which I can't see without!) and I feel blind - er, more blind than usual.
It had been four days since my last walk/jog and true to form I was dreading it. I was afraid I would have dropped the bit of stamina I had gained and it would be really hard again....But, in fact, I did the 1.25 mile loop in 24 minutes, just like last week's best time. I will admit, it FELT hard again...but if it was easy, none of us would need this site - we'd all be healthy and fit and run everywhere.
Likely the hardest thing? I usually go in the early a.m., like 5:30 a.m., and there are few people out. Last night, there were a LOT more people out and it was not pleasant to try to jog in front of people. I huff and I puff and I can't go very far...and I imagined the ugly things ugly-minded people could say. But I did it anyway. Part of this loop along the river ends up by a "destination outdoor mall" kinda thing...with a lot of tourists and teenagers....I think you can get the feeling.
As for the C25K walk/jog program, I will likely be taking longer than the prescribed time to complete it - but that's fine, I hear from many others it often takes longer. Yesterday should have been walk 4 min, run 1 x 5 for a 25 minute walk/jog. I think maybe one of my run times might have been a minute...but the others? Nope, couldn't go that long. However, I really booked the walking segments and ended up finishing in 24 minutes so that was pleasing.
My schedule is to train thusly on Tu, Th, and Friday...and cross train in between, likely with dance because I have a LOT of dance rehersal to get through. I'd like to pull out my bike too...but time has been an issue. Remember when you were a kid and the summer seemed to last forever? Not so much anymore, the weeks FLASH by and I can't fit everything i want to do in there!
Here's to one more day...to get it right. Not just diet/exercise...but LIFE.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Well, I'll get the sad news out of the way: My daughter's pregnancy wasn't viable. The second blood test was right on - her hormone levels were doubling appropriately...but then she began spotting. She ended up in ER, where they told her she had made it to about 6 weeks, but for whatever reason, it wasn't a viable pregnancy and she miscarried. We're all pretty bummed, but recognize this is extremely common and there is plenty of hope for the future for them to conceive and someday, I will be a grandma!
Very uncharacterstically, it is pouring rain and blowing winds AGAIN this a.m. I live in Central Oregon, where we usually have 300+ days of sunshine, are considered a "high desert" terrain with no humidity and not much rain....but this year it has rained 10x more than I've ever seen it! That means no run for me, but I have 4 dance routines to practice so that will get the heart rate up this a.m.!
I joined the 5k spark team for walk/joggers, and I'm excited about doing the program! Today was my start....but perhaps this evening will work out. I don't imagine it will all blow off and be hot, which is what I can't take more than anything...so tonight if it isn't pouring...I'll be starting!
I'm 89 days from my big dance event...and I dont' seem to be going anywhere weight wise. The same 2 pounds keep going up, and down, and up and down. I'm quite sure I need more cardio...and time/weather and other constraints keep that from happening.
Keeping momentum when I'm not losing weight is a hard one for me. I remind myself, it's so not all about the weight. But the weight is there, in my face, and I get so frustrated! Why is it my coworker can give up lattes and add a 10 minute walk to her day, and literally drop 10 pounds in two weeks..when I work on my food, exercise, all that...and the same 2 pounds keep cycling?
I'm just complaining. Whining. This is my place to let out those feelings as well as talk myself back up into keepin' on keepin' on. "They" always say "small changes add up"....I'm not so sure that is true for everyone and I'm becoming really sure it might not apply to me. For whatever reason, I think I need to make more effort than small changes. I say this after months of "small changes" that are not adding up to weight loss. I gave up my daily coffee and muffin habit and added a lot more than 10 minutes to my days and nothing! Just a true reminder, we are not all the same.
I've had lab work...I know I'm in the mysterious "syndrome X" where i'm insulin resistant, I know I'm in perimenopause, I know that losing weight has never been easy for me and it's not going to magically start getting easy. I MUST keep a positive mindset...and hone in on my goals and strive to reach them daily.
I'm sorta rambly this a.m., aye? LOL. Happy Tuesday Folks....I'm off to get a dance sweat going!
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