Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Are ya sure? Cuz it sure seems like a long week already....
Today is my rest day from walk/jog. Yay! LOL. I have 1.5 hours of dance rehearsal tonight tho, so not exactly "rest" day.
After careful thinking, I've decided to go for the goal change - 100 pounds in 40 months. That's 2.5 pounds a month - super, incredibly slow. Can I hope it will go faster than that? Yes, I can hope! That would put me at 150ish by my 50th birthday. Still heavier than the "charts" say for my height (5') and build...but I truly can't imagine myself at less than 150. I think that is a fine goal - a reasonable goal - and at 2.5 pounds a month, an ACHIEVABLE goal.
See...I've been "trying to lose weight" for a long time. And not really going anywhere. I change my diet, I increase exercise...and the weight does not fall off. It redistributes some, and I look better...but I don't seem to lose weight. I've had the tests, I've been checked out....not much good reason why it's not happening except for one concrete result: No progesterone, meaning my estrogen is running rampant. Most importantly, this is called "unopposed estrogen" (meaning nothing is being done to fix it) and is a leading cause of cancer in women - and the biggest reason it needed to be addressed. The doc felt this has probably been going on for YEARS and could be a significant reason why I'm having problems losing weight. The solution? Progesterone cream to help balance the estrogen. I've been doing the progesterone about 3 months now. While I hoped it would magically fix me, LOL, it hasn't. Who knows how long it takes to get balanced when you've been THIS unbalanced for years? Add perimenopause in there along with some insulin resistance...and I've struggled terribly to lose weight.
I set a seemingly reasonable goal, work very hard at it..with little or no result. Then I get discouraged and quit trying for awhile. That was my cycle for YEARS.
Now, I'm making this a VERY long term program. Less than a pound a week is sort of crazy slow, I know. But it occurred to me, if I'm trying like crazy and nothing is happening, I get really discouraged and fall off. Perhaps this is like running for me, success is in "go slower than you think you can".
Every obese person wants to go to wake up one morning and be miraculously at a healthy weight. Doesn't work like that tho, does it? It takes a long time of consistent activity and effort, retraining ourselves - the way we eat and more importantly the way we think.
As stubborn as I am, 3 years is likely about as long as retraining my thinking is going to take!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Yep...I ran today. The good news, best time yet for the loop I've been doing - speed at 17 minute mile. The bad news...that means I need to add some distance in there. What started as a 25 minute loop is now getting done in 20 minutes...so it's time to go just a little farther. Not much, 2 or 3 tenths of a mile is all I'm adding - just enough to take a little more time....
I'm definitely running farther on the running intervals every time I do it. This indicates to me I really am building my cardiovascular capacity.
Cool, eh? I think so.
Do I love it? No, no I don't. Same battle every run day "I don't wanna". Same sigh of relief on non-run days "thank god I don't have to do it today!" Will that change? I hope so, but if it doesn't it doesn't. This isn't quilting or knitting or going to the movies. Those are the things I do for FUN. This is what I'm doing for my HEART. My BODY. My LIFE.
I'm proud of myself too...and that's actually even better than fun.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Ah Monday..back to routine.
This is week 2 of C25K...however, I will be repeating week 1. I can't yet run a full minute all five cycles of the workout, so I'll be repeating it until I CAN. Saturday's run I was able to do it 3x...so it's improving. I knew going into it that I would take longer than 5 weeks and I'm good with repeating until I am really THERE.
My cross training needs to get stepped up. Last night I did one of the "boot camp" workouts ...and had my butt handed to me on a platter. I hadn't done one for weeks and boy, could I tell! So I'm trying to set a reasonable goal there...reasonable being the key word. I basically work two jobs and have a family...setting myself up for an unreasonable goal is not good for me. I'm going to give myself a few days to think about what reasonable looks like and form the goal.
You know, rather than saying "I'm going to do the bootcamp EVERY DAY!" which is what I tend to do...set a very unreasonable goal and then burn out. See, old dogs can learn new tricks!
In that same vein....I'm thinking about the 100 pounds I want to shed. I weigh 250ish on any given day...I've gotten down to 239 but popped right back up. The weight is not falling off me, depsite significantly increasing my exercise and making some pretty significant dietary changes as well. My main goal has been to lose X amount in a few months time. Perhaps I need to overhaul my entire goal structure. I'm thinking about the Slowest Loser team...and considering resetting my goal to losing 100 pounds by my 50th birthday, March 11, 2014. Now...that is SLOW. Like 3 pounds a month. I'm thinking about it. I want results RIGHT NOW. But....I've wanted results RIGHT NOW for a very long time. Perhaps I need to approach weight loss as I'm learing to approach running: Go slower than you think you can.
This is looking pretty good at 11 weeks of cycling the same 2 pounds.
At any rate, again, I'm THINKING about it. What is reasonable? What is doable? What will make me feel good about myself instead of feeling guilty and a failure?
Here's to a new week...to get life right.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I am sooo happy to see the weekend! I've had little down time in the last month and today I'm taking a day off! I'll do a couple chores, do day 3 of C25K, and that is IT... I may spend the rest of the day on my butt with a book!
My walk/jog schedule is Tues, Thur and Sat...even tho some blog posts make it look like I'm training on consecutive days - I promise, I'm not! I NEED that day in between for my joints, believe me!
Weigh in reflects the same 2 pounds down. It is discouraging, but I'm not letting it be the focus of what I'm doing. I noticed last night at dance rehersal, my cardio fitness is definitely improving! I was able to run through the routines repeatedly with MUCH less huffing and puffing at the end, and didn't need a break in between every run through. I'm noticing my clothes are fitting differently and two people at work this week said "You're losing weight aren't you?" I just replied "oh I don't know, I try not to weigh too often" LOL. The reality is I've lost and regained the same 2 pounds about 10 weeks in a row! But they don't need to know that! I suspect, one week I will step on the scales and there will finally be a difference and I'll start loosing then. My body apparently really enjoys being fat and wants to keep it!
Emotionally, things have been hard. Money is extremely tight..which makes my partner stress like crazy and she doesn't keep that stress to herself! My son has been up and down with the mood swings...I've been working too much....and sleep has been a problem as well. I can say this week I didn't eat over things, which is a HUGE success for me. So the scales? Eh, I'm not going to sweat that!
Anyone on Pinterest? I'm sort of addicted, LOL! you can save webpages you like in different categories..and I'm really enjoying it - probably too much, "Step away from the computer..."
Have a GREAT weekend!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I will be so freakin' glad to see the end of this week! WHEW. Work crazy-ness...family dysfunction....fatigue.
As seems to be the way for me, the alarm went off and my first thought was: It's run day. I don't want to....
But I did it anyway.
On my way out the door, my partner said "have fun on your walk" and I stopped and said "mmmm, I don't really find it fun. Yet. I don't know that I ever will. But I have to do it...it's good for me....and it makes me feel good about myself".
That's it in a nutshell. It doesn't matter that it isn't fun...it doesn't matter that the scale continues to play with the same 2 pounds....it matters that running 3x a week makes me feel good about myself. That's something I've struggled to find my whole life...and this works.
I learned a lesson today. Because of a huge event (the Cascade Cycling Classic), my usual walk/jog route was out of the question - around 1,000 extra people (literally) right in the middle of my route. I used the map thingy here on Spark to map a route in my neighborhood and the most resonable route was 1.18 miles. My usual is 1.27. 11/10ths of a mile less, no biggie.
Well, I got smarty pants on myself. I thought, this is a little shorter route, I'll work HARDER!! I ran sooner and longer than usual....and burned myself out. Instead of the usual 5 reps of walk/jog, I could only do 4 reps of jogging...and I was badly winded the last half of the route...which slowed me down. I did the exact opposite of what I thought. As I was panting and kicking myself I recalled a running article I read here by Coach Nancy Howard that said "Go slower than you think you can".
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