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Wednesday Check in

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


I talked about weight, weight loss and feelings in therapy last night. Not a subject I usually get on to in that arena because well, I have a lot of things to talk about LOL.

But my weight is really bugging me more than usual lately, pulling my self esteem low, negative self chatter going on in my head etc. So, I'm glad I brought it up. He talked to me a bit about replacing the negative chatter with positive - look what you DID do, focus on and affirm the positive changes you are making, etc.

Well, yeah...but....maybe I've been afraid if I don't beat myself up good enough someone else will do it for me. Dunno. Interesting thoughts is all.

My 10 min exercise streak isn't .... streaking. I keep missing a day here and there, mostly because of changes in plans or procrastination. But it's still a goal and I'm still workin' on it.

Time to get up and DO something...something good for me...good for my soul. Have a rockin' Wednesday folks!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 10/27/2011 10:40AM

    I read a blog about keeping a list of what you do "right" through the day. Like NOT eating the cookie someone offered you at work, that you took the stairs instead of the elevator, that you had a kind word for the person in line with you etc. I've been trying to keep track of the small victories in my day and it helps!

Hope you did something good for yourself!

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DEGENNAN 10/26/2011 3:29PM

    Hey, how is that C25k plan coming along? I am sure you are due for run #2 soon? I don't discuss weight with my therapist, either, although it does bother me, too, lately. Sucks how everything conspires to make us feel bad and we only have 50 minutes a week, so we have to pick and choose what to work on first, eh? Glad to hear you have someone to talk to, and hope you can remember everything GOOD you are doing for yourself, like taking time out for you and making healthier choices. Now make a plan to get out and try another run - you didn't think I would let you forget that, now did you? emoticon

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IAMFRANSGIRL 10/26/2011 9:58AM

    Good advice from your therapist. Good, but difficult to do, at least I always found it so.

"if I don't beat myself up good enough someone else will do it for me"
I know just how that feels.
Small steps really do add up so keep going for the small goals and see what happens. You can do this!

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Re-starting C25K....again

Monday, October 24, 2011

Yesterday...I laced up my shoes and re-started C25K. I hadn't ran since I pulled my back...then had the heart attack scare...then messed up my foot. Like since the end of August.

So yesterday....was sucky. Right back to square one, that's for sure. But I DID it. That's what counts. Not that I wasn't able to to nearly as far as I'd previously worked up to (of don't not run for 2 months then magically keep up with your old pace, LOL). I did it...and tomorrow after work I'll do it again. And I'll build the stamina back up.

Very, very conscious of my weight. Very aware of the girth of my belly. This is likely necessary to keep me motivated.

But it's not much fun.

All I have is TODAY. Right now. The choice of the next action, the next bite, the next thing. I can't change yesterday, and tomorrow is too far away. What I have is now. If I can control my actions in the now...that's the best step I can take for the rest of my life.

Whew. All philosophical at 5:30 a.m. Go me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEGENNAN 10/25/2011 2:00PM

    You are awesome. You did NOT let the excuses pile up. You did not get discouraged when it was harder than the last time you ran. You got out there and did your thing. Because you know what? It WILL get easier. If you put in the time, you will see results. It's just hard at first to perservere, when your body is no longer used to it. But I have faith in you, and I know you can get farther along than ever before this time emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWCHARMER 10/25/2011 1:12PM

    Awesome!!! You can do it!!

I'm not sure how many times I started and stopped the C25K program before I finally got all the way through it. At least 3 or 4 times over a period of 3 or 4 years. It's all about what you choose to do today!

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IAMFRANSGIRL 10/25/2011 8:30AM

    You rock!

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AEFAUCETT 10/24/2011 8:21PM

  I did Day 4 of C25K yesterday. I can totally empathize with being self conscious and hyper aware. But hearing you say that after 2 months it will be better gives me hope. Thanks for sharing. emoticon

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TERRYT55 10/24/2011 12:20PM

    Very philosophical.......I like it! I'm especially going to remember this line from your blog because I spend too much time regretting yesterday and worrying about tomorrow:

"I can't change yesterday, and tomorrow is too far away. What I have is now".........just excellent.

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KELLYDRESCHER 10/24/2011 11:14AM

    It is hard to pick up where you left off, but you picked up. I just discovered the joy of finishing a 5k (I walked/jogged my way), and it's a great feeling to finish... even if you walk to the end.

Take it easy, and progress as you and your body feel comfortable. I'm cheering you on the whole way!

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BECKYSRN 10/24/2011 10:44AM

    Rock on!

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If I can't do anything else.....

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I can at least do two things:
1) Exercise 10 minutes a day. Today is day one of that streak. I've done it before, I can do it again. 10 minutes every day is way better than nothing for several days and then a little, then nothing again. which is how my life has been...

2) Drink more water. I've been getting more water in by this simple trick: Every time I leave my desk, I stop by the water cooler and chug a 4 oz cup of water. Since I'm drinking more water...I need to run to the bathroom more. Which means I have to stop by the water's a viscious circle that is helping me drink water. I'm down with that.

Obviously things aren't going swimmingly if those are my two current goals. But, I'm working it. Food has been okay...but stress, hectic life etc, is keeping me from stuff. So these two goals are my focus. Simple. Easy peasy. I can do this. Right? Right!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMFRANSGIRL 10/21/2011 3:30AM

    You're going to do it!! Small steps really work.
Go you!!

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SHAR140 10/20/2011 10:12PM

    small steps lead to big changes! emoticon

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IMNAHA 10/20/2011 7:27PM

    You can do it!

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BLUEANGELLK 10/20/2011 5:52PM

    You bet!!!

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LTMURPHY7 10/20/2011 4:26PM


Yes, start small. You'll get in the swing. Those are easy for me now

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Wednesday Thoughts

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

You have to actually *do* it.

You know, the stuff. The weight loss stuff. You have to DO the work. Thinking about it...doing the parts you don't mind but avoiding the parts you don't like...isn't going to get you anywhere.

These are my thoughts this a.m.

A long time ago, a therapist said to me about dance "It sounds like you think about it a plan and you think...but you don't DO".

I was really mad. Cuz he was right.

That's where I am with weight loss. Since I stopped running...I stopped momentum. I know full well that bellydance is not enough exercise for me to lose weight. It's too stop and go, and I don't frankly do it long enough except for on practice nights or days I teach.

I have to actually DO exercise to lose weight.

And I don't wanna.

My daughter got engaged over the weekend. She asked me via email last night about weight watchers....because she tried spark a time or two and didnt' stick with she's looking for a different "fix".

I replied kindly but firmly, if you won't stick with's unlikely you are going to stick with weight watchers. I know..because I didn't.

Because you have to actually DO the work.

Getting off here now. To do something. Dance, march in place, the Wii. SOMETHING.

Cuz you gotta really DO it to make it happen.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEGENNAN 10/14/2011 2:23PM

    I hope you post another blog about what you did while you were off SP this week. Congratulations on your daughter's engagement BTW! Sometimes having a goal like a wedding helps? I know that I am much better when I am training for some specific date like a race than when I am just trying to maintain weight and fitness in general. That is when I tend to GAIN weight, usually. I think this has been a very rough month (year?) for a lot of us, but I believe we can still turn it around. Hope you have a wonderful weekend and manage to find some fun ways to get out there and be active, so you can rack up those fitness minutes. I know it's hard when it's cold and rainy and windy, but like Kelly said, the hard days don't last. We can do it. emoticon

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SHAR140 10/12/2011 10:44AM

    My motto has been, anything is better than nothing (in regards to exercise). Even on those days I don't want to go to the gym, at least walking the dog is better than doing nothing! But I know what you mean...for me, the weight comes off a lot easier in those months I hit the high fitness minutes!!

I think Kelly makes a good point, as well.


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KELLYDRESCHER 10/12/2011 9:38AM

    Weight loss is like finding the right partner. There's a ton of trial and error in finding what works best for and with you. When you find the right match, it's just so much fun! Sure, there are hard days, but you know they don't last.

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double post monday

Monday, October 10, 2011

You know those times that you walk in front of a mirror or window and catch a good look at yourself ..... and it about knocks you flat because you just didn't really believe you looked THAT bad - but there you are?

That happened to me just now - my reflection in the glass on the way into work. It's dark now, and the light was shining just so...and I felt like I'd been hit by a mack truck. I went in to the building and had to go to the ladies room to reassess. Was it that bad?

Yes, actually it is.

I feel the teeter-totter emotions rolling - from "I'm going to beat this thing! I am going to change my ways!!" to "What is the point?" and "It's not fair" and blah blah blah.

I have taped to my work monitor this mantra:
"I promise to make healthy and positive choices so that I can live a healthy lifestyle and reach my goals."

That's all I can Right now. The next bite I eat, the next choice of whether I drink water or something with calories, the next choice of getting up and moving versus sitting on my butt.

I will move forward. I will be honest with myself...and I will not beat myself over this. All I have is RIGHT NOW.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMFRANSGIRL 10/11/2011 3:28AM

    Beating yourself up will not help. I say this from experience. Your Mantra is right on, keep making positive decisions and and it will become habit just like the habits you're trying to move away from. It's not easy mind you and it takes a certain amount of fortitude to pick yourself up time and time again, but it's a positive step that you're here telling others how you feel, a positive step that you have decided to be kind to yourself.
As for what you saw in the mirror? It truly may not be as bad as YOU see it . I took a picture yesterday for my 365 project at Flickr and personally would never have posted it buuut, my sweetie said she loved it and wouldn't change a thing about it. Well, I tried looking through her eyes and couldn't see what she did, but I trust her so I used it for my daily shot. On this adventure to health and fitness I'm finding self esteem to be my toughest hurdle. I am becoming good friends with exercise and nutritious food and cooking, but the mirror is still my downfall.
Here's to a time when we can look in the mirror and like what we see.

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DEGENNAN 10/10/2011 11:28AM

    It is hard but you have the right attitude. Every single choice is an opportunity for you to succeed. And I bet you'll make more healthy choices than not. Be kind to yourself today, and remember why you are making healthier choices now - because you are super lovable and lots of people love you and want you to stick around for a long, long time emoticon

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MERWAK 10/10/2011 10:15AM

  right now is all we have. so so TRUE! Stay with that when your mind wants to beat you up. It's all about moving forward from here...

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