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Among the living

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Whew. Yep, I'm alive and kicking! Special thanks to the spark peeps who sent me goodies or checked on me...during the holiday season you thought of ME? Good grief, I'm a lucky gal, THANK YOU!

So far in December:
Got off the exercise wagon for about three weeks. Got back on it yesterday and boy, I'm back at square one again with strength/stamina. But the cool's never to late to start again. So I did. Two days in a row, cardio and stretching - done.

Food - food has not been terrible at all, the problem tho, is my carb ratio is too high. When we're poor...we eat carbs. cheap and filling. So, more than anything my current goal is to stay away from the sugar, get as many freggies in there as I can...and forgive myself the rest. So far, since thanksgiving I have NOT had eggnog. I have not had fudge, penuche, divinity, or ANY of the candy I associate with the holidays (or any other candy for that matter). I have not over ate really at all. Sort of amazing. Too broke to spend money on the ingredients and too tired if I could, LOL - work has gone crazy.

Stress - Mmmmm. See the part above about work has gone crazy....and the no money, but other than that...hey. I'm alive and kickin'.

Hope to get to all of my lovely SP peeps pages soon..I miss being in touch!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMR6665 12/21/2011 5:54AM

    Happy Holidays!!! emoticon Good to see you back! emoticon

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Fat Woman on a Plane

Monday, November 21, 2011

Friday, I flew to Seatttle. I haven't flown in about 8 years and.... 40 pounds or so. Small plane. I didn't think about my weight...and the plane. I weigh around 250 on a 5' body, and it's all in the belly.

As I entered the plane, I saw a woman who was much larger than me...and she needed two seats.

FEAR struck me like I can not express. What if I didn't fit?????

I found my seat...stowed my stuff...and sat. I tried the seatbelt...too tight. I took it to the limits of it's length and managed to buckle it. Not horribly tight, but I could feel it there across my belly.

A woman came to claim the seat next to me...late 50's, very trim, stylish etc. She nodded to me, grabbed the arm rest between us and shoved it down....and it wouldn't go down because my hip was in the way. She gave me a pointed look, and I sucked everthing I could in and pushed myself to the wall....and it snapped down in between us. I gave a cautious "oh thank god" to myself. I pulled myself as far away from her as I could, but it took constant vigilance not to touch her in some way.

The plane was not quite full, and before takeoff, the attendant announced that if you liked, you could change seats. The woman turned to me and said

"would you be more comfortable if I moved?" and looked down at my body and back up to my face.

I smiled and said, "whatever, I really don't mind". And in that time...someone else came up and grabbed the seat she had pointed to. She gave a small huff and turned her head and that was the end of all conversation. Thank GOD it was a very short flight, just an hour. I spent that hour pulling myself in as much as possible, my nose buried in my book.

I wanted to say "Look, yeah, I'm I fat woman. Sorry about that. But you know what? you have so much perfume on I could throw up....but I'm not being ugly to you about it, am I?"

The trip home was made with a 10 year old boy in the seat next to me, and I had room to "be".

It was quite the experience. And that's all I have to say about that....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEGENNAN 12/1/2011 3:25PM

    Oh man - that really burns me up when people are needlessly rude and mean like that! She definitely should have just moved without making a big fuss about it if that's the only thing that would have made her happy. I'm a smaller person who flies fairly frequently and I have noticed that most larger people are very self-conscious about taking up room and are very careful and polite about it. I wish everyone were that thoughtful! Men are the worst - they will hog the arm rest and spread their legs out and take up tons of room - the skinnies as much as the bigger guys. Anyway, look at me making this all about me, right? ;) I am so, so, so sorry to hear that your Thanksgiving week involved a stressful flight and that you were exposed to such a witch right before the holidays. I hope the rest of the week was more pleasant!

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TERRYT55 11/21/2011 11:41PM

    What a witch! I'm so sorry you were subjected to such rude behavior. I loved Maggierosebowl's comment from the Johnny Carson show "I'm fat, you're stupid. I can diet." So true!

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AIRPEACH 11/21/2011 7:51PM

    That silly woman should have gotten up and taken herself off if she didn't want to be there. What a windbag.
The last time I flew, I had people like that sitting next to me on all 4 of 4 legs. I am fat, but I keep myself in my space very well, and I don't even steal arm rests by keeping my arm on them the entire time. 2 of the legs were next to reasonable people, 2 were not, but considering one of them took himself off to a different seat leaving me with 2 seats to enjoy, I was more than ok with that.
PS: I love the background photo you are using.

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DOODIE59 11/21/2011 12:19PM

    Ugh. I feel for you. Those moments are so polarizing ...

There are two things I won't miss when I lose weight -- that dreadful fear of not fitting into my seat, and imposing my size on the individual next to me. Still, there is room, morally and emotionally, for all of us on this planet and I'm tired of being treated badly. No one's perfect, and we all deserve kindness.

Here's to a better day in the future, and best wishes for your journey to better health:)

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 11/21/2011 11:33AM

    What a horrible woman. But I know that happens quite often. People really resent you when you're infringing on their space. And from my class presentation about "Is Obesity a Handicap?" I know that most people have no sympathy for us fatties. They think we caused our condition ourselves and could "fix" it if we tried. Of course my class was comprised of a group of early 20-somethings, most of whom have not yet had to fight the battle of the bulge. Someday, probably close to half of them will develop more empathy for the struggle we fight everyday, as they end up with more weight on their bodies than they'd like.

I always made sure to sit by my hubby and ONLY my hubby when I flew. And he would even ask the flight attendant for the seltbelt extender, so I could avoid that embarrassment. This might be surprising, but I noticed on one flight, when we were flying with our sons and there was three of us, I sat in the middle of three seats, it was the narrower seat, with a shorter seatbelt. So I traded with hubby. Sure enough, the aisle seat and window seat were both just a little larger. Only someone who was big enough to FILL up the seats would have noticed that small difference, but I could tell!

And this is what I have to say about your experience. Someday you will look physically like that late 50-something-year-old slim woman you sat by you on your flight. But you will never act like her. I heard William Conrad say to Robert Blake one night on Johnny Carson after Blake said something insulting to Conrad about him being fat: "I'm fat, you're stupid. I can diet." There is nothing that woman can do to change her mean attitude and snooty personality, but you are changing yourself right now! In the minds of all your Spark friends, you are a far superior human being to that awful woman, even though she thought she was "all that" and you were far beneath her. Personally, I am disgusted by HER behavior!

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TBRANTNER3 11/21/2011 10:45AM

  If the person next to you wanted to move, she should have just done so without comment to you. I haven't experienced the seat belt issue, but several years ago I was on a small hop type of plane, would be a 45 minute flight. there were very few people on the plane, so the stewardess moved everyone around to re-distribute the weight. was humiliating, and really, was it that important.

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KELLYDRESCHER 11/21/2011 10:30AM

    Air travel is one of the most humiliating experiences for people who have any extra weight, and I'm so sorry you've had this experience. If you haven't seen the video by another Spark member about her experience flying, you really should. (It was on the Today show after the gate agents informed her she was too fat to fly. Her response to them and the industry is classy, poignant, and helpful)

If you have to fly again, try asking the gate agent if there are any open seats remaining and if you could sit near one. When I worked for an airline I did this quite frequently for guests. The best time to ask is when you get to your gate because most people have already checked in by then, and they have a better idea of the space available. (This advice is also really good for people traveling with children.)

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Finally Friday

Friday, November 11, 2011

This has been one long week. Super extra glad it's Friday.

Some good, some crappy stuff this week. Not enough sleep. Good on exercise, okay on food. Mood continues to be sorta low.

Had inspection by property management...and was sent a rather snotty note that the teenager's bedrooms were "unsanitary", the kitchen floor wasn't clean and I have 14 days to remedy this and then have another inspection. My first tought was...yeah, I didn't get the kitchen floor mopped but I didn't think you'd ding me for it for pete's sake! ..but the kids rooms? Seriously, "Unsanitary"? No they weren't magazine perfect...but there was nothing gross in moldy dishes or mountains of dirty clothes. I'm sort of confused by the whole thing. Not to mention it just makes me feel TIRED. Yes, I really wanted to have ANOTHER inspection...oy vey.

That's my week in a nutshell. Woo.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 11/12/2011 4:08PM

    My mother-in-law used to have inspections like that and always dreaded them. I'm sorry you are subjected to it.......

I had to smile at Beckysrn's comment......isn't that the truth!

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KELLYDRESCHER 11/11/2011 11:58AM

    Was this an inspection they let you know about in advance or did they surprise you with it? I always hated things like this because they came when I had the least amount of time to prepare.

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BECKYSRN 11/11/2011 10:21AM

    Don't they know that teenager's rooms are ALWAYS unsanitary? That the definition of teenager bedroom....

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Busy busy busy

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Made the 7 hour drive to Boise and then back again over the weekend to teach a workshop and dance in a show. A lot of time in the car. I am grateful to say, I did NOT eat my way to Boise! I did have a snack on the way home...trying to stay awake for driving more than anything, but I didn't go overboard by any means.

Back at home, I have SIX peices of music that must be choreographed ASAP. A new private student starts tonite, a new teen class starts tomorrow night, on top of an already busy schedule.

Goals have been hit and miss, but not because of loss of drive. Back "on it" this week and we'll see where we go....

and daylight savings time is kicking my butt. When you naturally wake up at 4:30 and all of a sudden 4:30 is now, yeah. To my SP peeps that might be thinking "is she even reading blogs right now?" um, no but I will be!! I'm thinking of you...and I'll be around to check on you shortly.... :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEGENNAN 11/8/2011 1:02PM

    I haven't been blogging so you haven't missed any of mine, but I just wanted to check in on you and I'm glad to read you are all sparked up. Also, kudos on making that 7-hour drive and not snacking or overeating the entire way. That is definitely something I struggle with and I have my own 7 hour drive coming up the weekend after next. I will try to think of you and making healthier choices. Thank you for the inspiration, and good luck with all that choreo!! emoticon

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A happy accident...

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

So I've told you about my new way to get more water. Every time I get up from my desk at my VERY sedentary job, I get a cup of water from the water cooler. That leads to more restroom trips, which means more cups of water as I pass the cooler. Even tho they were only 4 oz cups I thought hey, I'm getting more water it's good.

They are 8 oz cups. I had no idea, LOL. Here I am, 47 years old and a baker and I didn't recognize what was 8 oz. This is funny, it's good news (twice the water than I thought I was drinking!) and it is a huge testimony to my portion distortion problems.

It inspires me to start measuring some of my food again out of curiousity - how much am I REALLY putting on my plate, because obviously, I think things are smaller than they really are....

Interesting and funny thing I've learned about myself. Week goals: So good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATCHAGIRL 11/2/2011 5:34PM

    Oh... THAT is AWESOME!! :) Now... don't cut back on those cups just cuz you found out they were actually 8 oz's!! ;) Keep on drinkin'!

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DEGENNAN 11/2/2011 2:27PM

    That is a funny story, with a good ending emoticon Also, all those extra trips to the bathroom must burn more calories, right? Measuring my food was one of the best things I got out of SP. Even though I am not doing it anymore, I think I have learned to eyeball the correct portions a lot better. But when I want to lose weight again come January, I am sure that I will go back to measuring. It's really very effective!

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TERRYT55 11/2/2011 10:58AM

    Good for you....more water AND more steps! I have the same problem with disposable cups.......thinking they are smaller.

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KELLYDRESCHER 11/2/2011 10:00AM

    That is a happy accident! Best wishes with measuring out the food. The first few times hurt, but it gets so much easier along the way!

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