Monday, January 30, 2012
After stepping off the scale this a.m., I didn't much feel like writing a post.
Weight: 255, up 3 pounds from last week
Let's look at last week...
Added strength training
Much better about getting the water in
Not so good:
Only hit the gym 2 times/only 1 real dance practice. This is very different than what has been happening. I didn't make my calorie burn goal or mileage goal because of it.
Tracking food did not happen
Meds/supplements - Skipped overall.
Sleep was extremely poor several nights, including last night
This last week was a work 6 days week, and I went into it exhausted. I was over committed in the evenings. I had a couple long, drawn out arguments with my partner. My kids were...teenagers.
Needless to say, with poor sleep over the weekend, I'm pretty much repeating starting the week off badly. So, what can I do about that?
1. Track my food - doggedly. If I don't track, I won't see where I am munching away trying to stay awake and focused.
2. Take my meds and supplements.
3. Hit the gym for cardio a minimum of 2 more days this week, and do strength training one more time this week (I did both yesterday).
4. Really, really work on sleep, even if it means taking a sleep aid this week. I am no closer to a let down in work stress/hours this week and won't be for several MORE weeks. Poor sleep means skipping the gym, being crabby, eating more than I need.
I haven't measured in a long time, and thought I would start again since sometimes the tape measure will show success the scale does not. Since a couple of those measurements are about a year old, so I measured this a.m. to see where I'm starting from:
Me, The Experiment continues. Weekly tweaking what I'm doing to see what makes fat loss happen.
Now - HAPPY NEWS! After getting an unexpected windfall, I paid off all those nagging bills that had creditors calling me a zillion times a day...and while I'm not quite debt free, I'm DARN CLOSE! There was a little left over, and my partner and I are going to Disneyland in October! We never had a honeymoon...and we both are crazy about Disney. I was there in 2002, but Jodie hasn't been since the 70s. We've wanted to go so bad in the seven years we've been together, but never any money. We purchased the plane/hotel tickets this weekend and I'm super excited. We are going during Gay Days, a weekend LGBTQ folks from all over go...it's not an "official" DL park thing, they actually don't sponsor ANY group, be it baptists or gays, LOL. But there will be several thousand people there, just like us - there with the person they love at the Happiest Place On Earth!
Even more reason to work on stamina and health, so that we can enjoy it fully! Jodie has begun going to the gym with me - which is the biggest shift in her mentality toward "health" ever, and we have switched to organic/hormone and antibacterial-free meat.
Changes to last a lifetime, I hope! So while this week may not have been the best ever, it's had some good moments!
Monday, January 23, 2012
252. Same as last Monday.
Considering that Friday when I stepped on the scales it was 256, I'm perfectly fine with no official loss of gain. I knew Friday it was water retention and that proved correct.
So, this week, same as last week while:
2) Meds and supplements
3) Keeping calories within range.
And we'll see what the scales have to say next Monday...
Sunday, January 22, 2012
This week I:
Walked 5.48 miles
Exercised for 180 min
"Burned" 1218 calories
I made it to the gym 4 out of 6 days.
For week one, I am pretty satisfied. I had worked 13 of 14 days and I was TIRED. On Thursday, I was so tired, I skipped the gym and literally went home to bed completely exhausted.
Food was tracked 4 out of 5 days, the weekend remains a hard time for me to get around to tracking. During that tracking, I was able to see that while my calories were sometimes over range and some days under range, on average I am consuming about 200 calories over what is recommended.
Considering I have not consistently tracked in ages, this was a good first week! Tomorrow is the official weigh in for the week, but I cheated and stepped on Friday, and immediately regretted it. According to the scale, up 4 pounds.
Now, do I think that was 4 pounds of fat newly attached to my butt? No. I think my body is definitely retaining fluid, I can see it in my puffy ankles an hands! Nonetheless, it was an ugly slap to see the scale go up, LOL.
I have since reminded myself that this is "me, the experiment". What does it take for me to FEEL GOOD? What does it take for my body to let go of weight? What does it take to keep my back pain at bay and my arthritis from making me walk like a hunched over 80 year old? What does it take for me to dance an not huff and puff and have an asthma attack when I leave the stage?
So, again, I reminded myself of the fact that the number on the scale is only one thing we are playing with here. As for the rest:
This week I had less back pain.
This week I had less pain/stiffness with my arthritis.
This week I was able to dance and not get winded so quickly.
This week, because I focused on the food plan given to me last year, I felt far less cravings for sweets and had no binging at all.
After two glorious days off, I again will work the next 13 out of 14 days. We will (hopefully) hire someone by the end of the week and I'll begin training them, adding about 10 tons of stress into my work day on top of it all. I am focused on continuing "me, the experiment" and know that if I can do it, it will help alleviate the all consuming stress (by continuing to workout), cut the risk of eating to stay awake (following the food plan - 6 small meals a day), and falling apart emotionally - all of which are very real possibilities, because I've been here before with work at this point and all of those things happened.
What really needs improvement this next week is taking my meds/supplements and WATER.
So...that's it for Me, The Experiment Recap of Week One. Stay tuned, boys and girls, for next weeks exciting adventure! Same Bat Time... Same Bat Channel...
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Remember those hair color commercials, where the end tag was "because I'm worth it!"
This has always been a hard thing for me to grasp...that I'm worthy. Oh, I know why, and that is a long and sad story filled with a parent with mental illness, abandonment, and abuse. At 47, I'm still struggling with self esteem and worthiness issues.
Interestingly, I coach - sort of a bellydance meets life coach thing - and I am very good at helping other women move past their crap and take care of themselves.
Crazy, huh? When I can help others...but I can't help myself.
As I contemplated new year goals - no I'm still not done, LOL - I knew exercise had to be a big one. And not, unfortunately, the 10 min a day kind. I've been slowly gaining over the last few months and the reality is, I sit for 8-10 hours a day for my job, with very little opportunity to get up and move around. 6 nights a week, I do some kind of dance - either teaching, coaching, or my own dance or a workout, but overall, it's not getting me aerobically fit.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again now, yes, small changes do add up....but for some of us, they don't do the job we need done. I need a minimum of 30 min a day of raised-heartbeat, breaking-a-sweat exercise, period. And I'm not getting it. The dance stuff is too start/stop - it doesn't get my heartbeat up and keep it up.
It's winter, dark and cold and - if the weatherman is right - snow will finally be arriving. All that means that my morning walks aren't going to happen. Good intentions to do a workout DVD don't always get me there, because my house is full and there are always soooo many interruptions.
So I considered some kind of gym membership. I researched the local options. And for about a week, I have warred with myself. Not about the cost, because some significant changes happened and I actually could do it with no problem (YAY!). It was about should I put that kind of time into myself. It takes TIME to go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. I typically put my energy and my most precious commodity, time, to other people. Not myself.
And look where that's gotten me? 250 pounds on a 5 foot body, worsening arthritis, and I can't do the things I want to do.
So after about 5 days of thinking, deep thinking about myself and who I am and why I am this way, and what would it be like to really invest in ME...I went to the local park and rec last night and bought a family membership for 3 months. I got the basic package, everything but fitness classes. Weight room, cardio room and pool.
Typically I am exhausted. I get up at 5, work on choreography or coaching materials for students, get to work by 7, I come home at 4, take a nap till 5ish, get up and deal with whatever dance student I'm training, have dinner and fall into bed. I am well aware, it takes energy to make energy. That if I exercised, I would feel so much better and have more energy. So...instead of coming home for that nap, my 17yo (who is a fitness fanatic - takes 2 workout classes at school and does hard core ROTC) will be going to the gym on the way home. I can trade off from pool to weights to cardio.
I'm investing in me. Yep, part of me is still screaming internally - terrified at what might happen if we focus on ourself.
I told her to shut up.
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