NOREGRET2010   47,518
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Note to Self:

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Okay, self:

When you get back in the habit of eating garbage...sugar, white flour, etc...and then you cut it out again...you feel lousy. How much simpler to just not give in to temptation and eat the stuff you know isn't going to make you feel good?

I'm in the first day zone...headache, cravings and hunger. I've eaten completely on plan, and will have had a great day of tracked food. Just have to get through this first couple days of withdrawl......

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRISTINASP 6/7/2012 1:31PM

    When I just started visiting SparkPeople a few weeks ago I read someone who quoted someone else (grin)... the first person had said 'It's easier to stay in the good habit then to stop and start again'. I put that on a sticky note as a reminder for myself... it works very well, so far!



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CJSARGENT1 6/7/2012 11:28AM

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SUSIEQ911 6/7/2012 8:15AM

    Good job!

And just wait there will be some day when you're completely used to the new foods and you eat something your shouldn't. You'll remember then why you started this and it will be easier to just eat the healthy foods.

I get this feeling everytime I eat too much fried food and too much sugar. Regret EVERY SINGLE TIME! Of course usually when it happens it's ALL the unhealthy stuff at once.

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GOPINTOS 6/6/2012 8:51PM

    emoticon

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Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Wheat Belly Team

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EGALITAIRE 6/6/2012 8:22PM

    Like Wachee said, and remember this feeling - it helps me whenever I have a craving to recall the how yucky the off-plan foods make me feel.

Having a supportive "other" is helpful too when you forget - they can remind you - remember when - hmmmm.

Great job - day one is in the books. One day at a time.

Stay Strong

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WACHEE 6/6/2012 7:25PM

    I agree it sucks! But you can do it! Have your back up foods on hand if you get the real bad cravings!

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After Much Thought....

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

I'm recommitting/restarting my own version of the paleo program, as set for me by a great physician 18 months ago.

It consisted of 6 small meals a day, each with a protein, 2 fruits a day, all the veggies I want. No wheat, no potato, no grain. Essentially, the Wheat Belly program. I will also restart the supplements she had suggested at that time.

That doc came here 1x a month from a town 3-4 hours away. She isn't coming here any more. However, how serendipitous....my daughter moved to the town she practices in two months ago to take a new job. I'll be setting up an appointment with her sometime this summer and visiting my daughter at the same time.

When I started it, I felt great and I started losing weight. Then, I cheated. Once I got the wheat/grains started again, I couldn't shut it off. Ironically, in rereading part of Wheat Belly last night, he talks about exactly that..about "I ate cookie and gained 30 pounds!" - because once some of us have "just one" we literally can't stop..the cravings are so intense, we give in....until we decide to stop again.

The fiasco with the endocrinologist yesterday has lead me to reconsider my relationship with my PCP. He refers people to this guy all the time, he told me that and the endocrinologist said "oh, yeah, Tom sends me people all the time!". Really? I've sent Tom an email describing my visit with his preferred endocrinologist. If he doesn't have something very interesting to say to me, I might also be shopping for a new PCP - and I've already had some recommendations. I saw this guy because he was on my insurance and I just needed a copay. One of the doctors at my work had told me, "OMG don't go to him!!!" She was right, LOL. But I wanted to try the insurance-paid route first.

So, this a.m., back on the plan...only problem I'm really having is my creamer in my coffee...I don't like it black, shudder. I quit using sugar in it months ago, but I still really enjoy the french vanilla creamer. Today, I put less in than I usually would, and I'm going to keep trying to take it down. My partner kids me about "want a lil coffee with your creamer?" and it's true. And, it's a lot of wasted empty calories. But, I enjoy it very much. So, there's balance in life, eh? We'll see if I can train myself to enjoy it just as much with less of it!

**edit
I got an email reply from my PCP - pretty much horrified at my experience. He said he is going to work on developing a working relationship with another endocrinologist in the area and said he was deeply disappointed this guy didn't even want to talk about the PCOS symptoms I've had for years, as my PCP really believes this is an issue for me. Restored my faith in him a bit. :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELIA.R 6/6/2012 11:58PM

    Coconut milk in your coffee!!! Good fat and OH SO CREAMY!

I've got a dr appt on friday. I've loved my PCP for 9 years. This may be the last time I love him. O_o

I'm primal/paleo and eat cheese and other dairy. Not a fan of milk though. *EW* I eat lots of veggies and protien, and only eat when hungry. My Hunger angry feelings has gone away. No more "I have to eat or I'm going to kill things" feeling is always nice! =)

Sounds like you have a plan! WAY TO GO!

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GOPINTOS 6/6/2012 8:59PM

    emoticon

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Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Wheat Belly Team

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EGALITAIRE 6/6/2012 11:12AM

    Sounds like you have a plan that you know has worked for you in the past and the commitment to make it happen - a recipe for success.

Stay Strong

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KELLYDRESCHER 6/6/2012 8:49AM

    I've been down this road with doctors of different kinds before. You can try talking with your insurance company to see if they can help you find another PCP. They love to hear about doctors who are encouraging visits and tests that are unnecessary! (wink) In the end, it's in their best interest to find you a doctor that gets you to the point where you don't need to see the doctor.

As far as coffee, I agree with you. I don't know how people do it black. I have a Starbucks habit, but I'm able to do a "small" (whatever they call it) about 1 or 2x per month and feel satisfied. However, if you want to drink it at home, what about the individual creamer tubs like they have at restaurants? I have them at work in a variety of flavors. The reason I suggest it is because they are already portioned. It's a lot harder to throw away 6 of those little tubs and not think about it than to open up the container and start pouring. It would also be a way to check if you are decreasing the amount of creamer you feel you need in your coffee over time.

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SHIRDI32 6/6/2012 8:18AM

  You can do it :)

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Say What?

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

So, I went to the endocrinologist today. You won't believe what he said. I'm having a hard time believing what he said!

I walked in with my labs. He glanced at them, glanced at my paperwork and said "so you're here because....?" I said that I'd been diagnosed with insulin resistance about 10 years ago, I've had increasingly hard time losing weight, haven't been feeling good for awhile and I'm tired of being tired. He asked what I'd done to try to lose weight. I told him, WW. Supervised medical fast. Exercise. Counting calories. Jenny Craig.

And he said......

"You know, I just became a distributor for Medifast, it's a great program and you should give it a try!!" I said, um well, I've done one supervised fast and it was the same problem, I can lose about 20 pounds but then it stops. His response?

"Oh but the food is really good now!" and went on about what options there were with food and how tasty it is now. I replied, look I can't afford it.

For the next 40 min he asked me all the questions I had already filled out on the paperwork in front of him (which he did not look at). He looked over my labs and said "well, it's all within normal limits". He asked me if I tracked my food/exercise and when I mentioned Spark, promptly told me "all those programs grossly overestimate your calorie burn and calorie intake. Mostly useless".

He mentioned Medifast 22 times. I counted. At the end, when I again, firmly said I can't afford that, he said......

"Well, if you won't try Medifast, then I want you to cut your calories to 600-800 a day, eating 100 to 200 calories at a feeding. (he kept using the word feeding, which I found bizarre). I also want you to cut your exercise out for about a month, because you are going to be really hungry and working out will just make it worse. After about three weeks or so, you're body will start to burn fat. How about you come back in two months and we'll see how you're doing. If you decide to try the Medifast, just give me a call and I'll get you hooked up."

Honest to God. That's what my appointment consisted of. The 30 min drive back to the office, I alternated between being angry, being flabbergasted and feeling despair. I talked to a trusted friend, and I talked to my partner. Both were pretty horrified at his suggestions.

Hell, I'm horrified at his suggestions! Really? You want me to stop exercising for a month and starve myself on 600-800 calories a day? I lost 2 hours of work and paid you a copay to hear that "advice"?

So now, I'm thinking, what's next? What do I do next, where do I want to go. I believe strongly that I need to do exactly what I'd been doing, cutting wheat/grains, processed foods, etc. I need to eat 6 small meals a day, and I need to keep exercising. I need to be patient and I need to celebrate the small things like feeling my stomach lose the bloat I get from wheat/processed foods. Maybe I'll never lose all this weight, but I'll feel good.

Hours after the appointment, I'm still shaking my head and thinking, really?? Is this a joke? am I on Candid Camera? Wow.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 6/6/2012 8:17PM

    Obviously, he's making money from it. I would definitely go elsewhere, he's not that concerned about you.

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IAMFRANSGIRL 6/6/2012 10:48AM

    Wow! I'm so sorry you had such a nincompoop for a doctor. Good luck and stay strong.


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KELLYDRESCHER 6/6/2012 9:16AM

    That's insane! I'm happy for him that he's a distributor of Medifast, but that doesn't make it right for you. If you said no, then that's it - no. AND what kind of doctor recommends not exercising?!? Excuse me, but WTFudge? If you're still angry, I'd agree in reporting him. That's not okay, and he needs a little more education.

P.S. SparkPeople works just fine, as you know. You can adjust it to what your doctor recommends. If he'd try it, he'd already know that.

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SUSIEQ911 6/6/2012 8:46AM

    All I can say is WOW!

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience.

I also read your follow up blog and even I'm anxious to know what your PCP says.

Stay strong and stick to your plan. And remember we're all here if you need someone to talk to or talk you down. My suggestion is that you do a ton of research. Read everything you can get your hands on.

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EGALITAIRE 6/6/2012 12:34AM

    Hey - I know very little of your situation - only read of a couple of your recent blogs, so not really qualified comment. I can say my personal opinion is that professionals in all areas work for us and we can demand/expect a high quality of service. Which means we may have to kiss a lot frogs before finding the person who fulfills our needs. I think it is incumbent upon each of us to keep trying - our health is too important to either leave in the hands of the incompetent or misguided or to give up on the process.

Which also means it is incumbent upon us to educate ourselves in alternatives and not just accept conventional wisdom. You have already reduced sugars and wheat which is probably a very good start. Continue researching and tweaking your nutritional plan.

If you haven't looked into it yet, I would recommend visiting Mark Sisson's blog at www.marksdailyapple.com and read some of his information about diabetes, insulin, metabolic syndrome, etc.

Gary Taubes' book "Why We Get Fat .... " is also a good source of alternative information.

Stay Strong

Comment edited on: 6/6/2012 7:51:46 AM

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GRACEMCDOG 6/6/2012 12:29AM

    What???? That's just inexcusable. I would report him to the medical board, too. He sounds like a quack...and it's alarming that your PCP recommended this guy as the best around. That low calorie intake is deadly for someone in your position. What that would do is jack up your reverse T3 and you wouldn't be able to lose any weight at all because your body would go into starvation mode and hold onto every molecule of glucose and fat for dear life. Literally. I just looked up Medifast and came across soy, wheat, and...fructose! as ingredients in their food. The stuff is crap and it's low fat/low carb...a recipe for disaster and failure. I'm so sorry for your disappointment. That's just awful.


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BECKYSRN 6/5/2012 10:19PM

    I would find another endocrinologist. This guy is ******* loony tunes! How dare he try to push something on you so he can make money? You should report him to your state medical board.

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Today's the Day....

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Today is the appointment with the endocrinologist to talk about my metabolic syndrome (insulin resistance, possible polycystic ovary syndrome, basically 'pre-diabetes' stuff).

Why am I nervous? Well, I have about 25 years of unsuccessful attempts to get help.

In the late 80s, when I was having periods that would last 48 days, stop for 12 days and start again....I heard "oh, there's something wrong! we'll get to the bottom of this!". Thousands of dollars and everything "within normal limits" later - the neurologist they sent me to handed me an Rx for lithium and said I was "depressed or maybe bioplar". After two 10 min visits, he is qualified to tell me I'm bipolar???? Well, maybe I was depressed, but if HE had had periods that never stopped, betcha he'd have been depressed too! (later longterm work with a psychologist told me no, I was definitely not bipolar, I had PTSD).

When I went to the doctor saying I couldn't lose weight, was tired all the time, etc. and got my initial diagnosis of insulin resistance/metabolic syndrome, they did blood work. When I came back, the doc said "you have insulin resistance. It's basically prediabetes and you're at a greater risk for stroke or heart disease." I said, what do I do? and as she walked out, she said "lose weight". That was 10 years ago, and I've been trying - unsuccessfully - to lose weight ever since.

18 months ago, a doctor (who unfortunately left the area) DID give me some reasons: My hormones are out of whack, I have way too much estrogen. If I don't control my carbs, the insulin resistance is going to continue pretty much unchecked.

So what am I worried about? I'm worried he will want a million dollars worth of blood work to tell me "there's nothing wrong with you" or as the one doc did, say "lose weight" as he walks out the door. I. Can't. Seem. To. Lose. Weight. That's why I'm here.....Will he (like the one doctor who listened) say the only way to help myself was to go to a radically different diet (no grains, no potato, no rice)? While I've managed to cut a lot of that out, cutting it 100% has proven very difficult for me. I end up having one of those daily, despite my best intentions, or because of a very tight budget, I'm having a bowl of cereal for dinner kinda stuff.

Of course, I'm not losing weight doing it either. It would be motivating to keep working hard at it if I was losing. But to work freaking hard and lose nothing for weeks in a row? Very difficult to maintain my motivation.

Sooo. I'm a little nervous. On top of the warning by my primary care that he didn't want me to mention that I'm gay to him...because, and I quote, "He's really the best in town at what he does, but I'll be honest he's sort of a jerk and he's very conservative. I don't want him to treat you differently because you're gay".

Really? Gee, no that doesn't make me the least bit nervous. There are other endocrinologists in my town, but not covered under my insurance. I figure, I'll go to this guy to start and only have to pay a copay. If he is intolerable, I'll save up the $$ to go to the ones that aren't covered by my plan.

But it's all combining, the history of no help and the warning to not be myself, have me ...... nervous. I'm sure I'll be letting y'all know how it went, LOL....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEMCDOG 6/5/2012 1:24PM

    I know you're on the Wheat Belly team here so I'm assuming you read the book and are familiar with Dr. Davis. I read his FB forum page a lot and he writes directly to people there almost every day. He seems like a really good guy, honest and sincerely desiring to be a healer and a help to people. I am always surprised at the blatantly negative things he has to say about endocrinologists and their typical ignorance and ineffectual approach to the medical problems you've written about yourself. I don't mean to say anything discouraging to you (lord knows none of us need any more of THAT!!!!) but...just saying...please don't let this doctor throw you for a loop because, chances are, besides being a bigoted individual he's probably not going to be able to give you good advice medically.
If you can bring yourself to read through Dr. Jack Kruse's blog articles I think you may find some information that will be helpful to you. Sometimes his writing is so technical I have to read it through 3 or 4 times before I begin to feel like I'm 'getting' it. And prepare to have to google or use Wikipedia to look up terms and acronyms. His site is called The Quilt and it's at www.jackkruse.com Also, if you haven't checked out Mark's Daily Apple, Mark Sisson's blog, there is so much great information there. And also go to Jimmy Moore's podcast site Livin' La Vida Low Carb and select some interviews to listen to. I haven't seen you mention a thyroid problem but I'm guessing, from what I've read, that you probably have low thyroid function. If so, http://chriskresser.com/thyroid is one of the best resource sites for that. I know...it's such a lot to face but the information you need to put your personal health puzzle together are out there if you are willing to do the work to put it all together. Not easy, for sure. I'm really hoping you'll get some good info from this doc you're seeing today. Please let us know how it went.

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SUSIEQ911 6/5/2012 9:10AM

    I agree, stand your ground!

I hope his "conservativeness" is limited. We all deserve the best care and he needs to keep his personal views out of medicine.

I would think there would be someone you could report to if he does try to treat you differently. And if you have to find another dr maybe you can talk to your insurance company and explain the problem with the dr and they can help.

Good luck today! emoticon

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BECKYSRN 6/5/2012 8:57AM

    Hope your appointment goes well.
As to the weight loss--you said that you haven't lost, but have you had any other signs of getting in a little better shape....more toning, lose an inch here or there, or something? That would be encouraging as well.
And you're true to yourself, which is the only thing that matters.
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1CRAZYDOG 6/5/2012 8:48AM

    Oh my dear . . . stand your ground. You are much more than a # . . . you need to be heard, your SYMPTOMS need to be heard loud and clear . . . those are more important than the bloody #'s! I went through that, too. I just said, "Alrighty then, it's normal to feel like death, have a pulse in the 40's, loosing gobs of hair, NOT have the energy to do ANYTHING for me or my family) but my labs are alright. Well, I am NOT alright!" Finally did find an endo who listened. Started my thyroid med right away. The other piece of the puzzle . . . my type 2 diabetes . . . went undiagnosed far too long, but now with those two hormonal imbalances squared away I HAVE lost the weight! My main message . . . it's NOT your fault!

I will say, however, that you're going to have to be a little open minded re: your diet. Type 2 diabetes IS a carb intolerance, so if you eat simple carbs (white rice, white flour, white rice, processed foods), it WILL affect your blood sugars, which will affect your insulin levels, which will cause the vicious cycle of hunger, eat, hunger, eat.

Take it a step-at-a-time. My dear, if you advocate for yourself, you'll be on a road to a healthier existence.

For what it's worth, I think it's TERRIBLE for a Dr. to be morally judgmental on any issue like sexuality! We are NOT all clones. Thank goodness there is such diversity in this world!

Hugs, and wishing you luck.

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Charity 5k, check!

Sunday, June 03, 2012

I walked a charity 5K this a.m., Heaven Can Wait - a fundraising walk for a local breast cancer program. Along with roughly 4,000 others, I walked a 5K (3.1 mile) course.

I've done this walk probably 5 years in a row. This was the first year I didn't train very well for it...and wow, did I hurt when it was done! Definitely felt some regret that I hadn't been diligent in training. But, it's done and after a couple Advil and a nap, I'm mostly recovered.

Finally got that hair cut I've needed so badly, and feel better already! Those simple acts of self care really do add up...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 6/4/2012 8:00PM

    YAY for you, Lisa! I need to do a race too........

I had my hair cut last Friday and I felt so good. You are right self care acts do add up!

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IAMFRANSGIRL 6/4/2012 11:13AM

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HEALTHY4ME 6/3/2012 8:55PM

    I do my first charity walk next sunday a 5k for arthritis. CONGRATS!

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