NOREGRET2010   44,767
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Thinking, thinking.....

Monday, August 13, 2012

Warning*** rambling whiny post. Not looking for suggestions or needing to hear I'm great, LOL. Just need to vent and to whine. You know, we all need a good rant now and then!

I'm having a day.

I work hard at being grateful for what I have...I may not have a lot, but I'm grateful for what I have. I try hard to view the glass as half full, not half empty.

But sometimes, like everyone, I hit the wall. Too many things in a row go badly and I slump.

Working on still working my program, even if it's not perfect...because I don't want to have to pick myself back up off the floor (and a five pound or more gain) because I let myself wallow, ya know?

Days like this....I wish I had a parent. A parent to call and I'd know they'd listen and make me feel better, as I try to do for my own adult children when they're hurting. But there are no parents. There are no friends I feel like whining to.

Sometimes, you have to pick yourself up. Sometimes, it seems like it would be easier to eat my way through it. I get tired of picking myself up.

But, I know that's not the answer. My eating myself sick tonight will not induce my ex to actually pay his child support, even tho it's been three months since he bothered. it won't fix my partner's foul mood or lighten her own self pity. It won't show my kids how to get through tough times. it won't make my knees stop hurting or make me feel good when i look in the mirror, much less when I weigh next week.

I always work on gratitude - it fixes a million ills. so here goes:'
I'm grateful for my health even tho it's not perfect, I'm grateful for my kids and my partner. i'm grateful for my job. I'm grateful for my lil beater car that gets me too and fro. I'm grateful I have health insurance even when it doesn't pay like I wish it would. i'm grateful for folks who love me. I'm grateful I live in a place where I can choose to live my life as an out lesbian and not be persecuted (those rednecks down the street don't count, lol). I'm grateful.

I'm grateful and I will not eat over the things that aren't great.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOPINTOS 8/14/2012 9:04PM

    emoticon from me as well.


Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Wheat Belly Team

P.S. You really ARE great!

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IAMFRANSGIRL 8/14/2012 3:37AM


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One foot in front of the other!

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Another week has passed and again I wonder where the time went.

Further confirmation of my age, LOL. When I was younger, time didn't seem to fly this way....

Still not eating wheat, and when I do I'm miserable so that continues to be good reinforcement, LOL.

Been taking walks a couple times a week with my partner, that's good. My joints are killing me after, that's bad. Realized I'd gotten out of the habit of taking some of my supplements (chondrotin/gluosamine) and that likely has a lot to do with it.

Doh. I'm 48 years old. When will I become more consistent with those things?

I keep repeating the same loop....."oh, I'm feeling like crap. Wonder what that's about...." A week (month?) later. "Huh, I haven't taken my xyz in weeks....I should get on that". Another week/month later..."Man I really feel like crap. I should take my xyz".

Today, so miserable I couldn't stand it, I went and refilled the G/C supplement and began it immediately.

Again, Doh.

So, the walking - good. Remembering to take the medicine that keeps my osteoarthritis under control so I can enjoy it...better.

Spending the weekend in the city with teenagers, 3 hour trip...hoping it will be fun and not stressful, LOL. Partner and teens tend to butt heads. Sigh. But it will be nice to get out of town and I'm sure we'll do a lot of walking!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UMUCGRAD 8/9/2012 4:50PM

    I wish I'd started taking care of myself BEFORE the arthritis and middle age. Somewhere in my 40s I just got lazy. I tell young people it's really hard to get it back once you've lost it. Hold on to health and fitness. Don't surrender it to anything!

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NANCYPAT1 8/9/2012 3:40PM

    Take care of yourself now. The benefits of taking care early really are HUGE. I find myself taking everything and then taking nothing and wondering why I hurt again. Do what you need to do so you feel GREAT!

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MANILUS 8/9/2012 3:31PM

    Take those supplements so you can enjoy the walking, it is goooooooood!!!

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Wednesday, August 01, 2012

I pulled pants out of the closet this a.m. that I don't like very much.

I purchased them on clearance when I needed work pants pretty badly but was broke. They were short enough that they worked, but they weren't very comfortable.

See, I wear a lot of elastic waist pants. They're a good way for me to find pants that fit without a lot of hassle. I'm short and round, and very short waisted, so finding pants that FIT is hard.

Anyway, I get these pants and they aren't elastic waist. They're sorta stretchy, but they have bar/hook and zipper for closure. I avoided them often (except when I had no clean pants as today) because I didn't enjoy getting in and out of them - I had to suck it in to hook them and then I had more of a muffin top than I prefer to sport.

But today, no clean work pants except these, so I sighed and pulled them off the hanger.

As I hooked them.....I realized.....I didn't have to suck it in. In fact....the waist is ..... a little loose.

I've been afraid to get back on the scale since the 6 pound loss. Afraid maybe it'll come back. Afraid I'll be disappointed. Afraid I'll get obsessed by the numbers.

I'm not getting on them any time soon ...but today? the NSV of the pants is pretty awesome. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIA1154 8/4/2012 8:56PM

  Such a great feeling - enjoy. I'm sure there will be many more such pleasant surprises ahead for you, too.

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TERRYT55 8/3/2012 1:53PM

    YAY for NSV's I love having my clothes feel a little looser. Congrats

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NYKIMMIE 8/3/2012 6:59AM

    emoticon thats great!

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IAMFRANSGIRL 8/1/2012 1:59PM

    And that sort of victory stays with you and makes you feel great!
Congrats on your hard work.

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XHAPPYGIRLX 8/1/2012 10:51AM

    What an awesome feeling! Congratulations!

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Saturday, July 28, 2012

Never too late to begin again. Good thing I believe that.

I laced up the shoes and out I went this a.m.

It was quite sad, LOL. Much more walk than run, I was winded, and I only made it 12 minutes. But I did it.

I did it.

And I will do it again, and again and again.

The interesting change that has come since the first time I tried C25K: My mental outlook on it. The first round, I took my phone with me every time because I was terrified I might....have a heart attack.

Because I have a bad heart, you say? No, because I was morbidly obese and got out of breath easily. Since then, I've not only gotten quite a ways into C25K at least once, but I've also had a stress cardiogram, LOL. Told me my heart was great.

I realized, when that thought crossed my mind as I laced up my shoes "should I take my phone?, you aren't going to have a heart attack Lisa, just go"...I realized I now have a firmer grasp that I CAN do this. I am healthy, despite my weight. I'm out of shape.....really out of shape...but I'm healthy.

And continuing to work on this will only make me ...healthier.

Let me end with the best thing that happened this week, literally:

Coworker takes me aside and says:
"Lisa, how have you lost all this weight?"
Me: (Bursts out laughing) "Um, I've only lost about 6 pounds"
Coworker: Mouth falls open "NO WAY!"
Me: "yep. Really"
Coworker: "You look GREAT Lisa, you must be doing SOMETHING??"

I shared giving up wheat and losing a lot of the bloated inches. She just kept shaking her head and saying, "I sincerely thought you must have lost about 25 pounds since I started working here (six months ago)".

Made. My. Freaking. Week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRY2KEEPGOING 8/9/2012 7:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOPINTOS 7/29/2012 8:50PM

    Great blog! So much fantastical in it!! emoticon You are doing so awesome!


Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Wheat Belly Team

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HISTORYRUNNER 7/29/2012 7:41PM

    Nice going, to just get going! Keep it up and it DOES get better and better. Congratulations!!! And thanks for the encouragement on how going wheat-free has been such a help. A great compliment indeed! emoticon

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IAMFRANSGIRL 7/28/2012 1:58PM

    What a lovely complement! Congrats on knowing it's never to late to try again. emoticon

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TERRYT55 7/28/2012 11:25AM

    I'll be smiling all day after reading your blog! What a great compliment.

Keep is up on the C25K......who cares if you walked most of it. We all have to start someplace. Tomorrow it will be 13 minutes.

Thanks for the happy blog!

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108 days

Thursday, July 26, 2012

108 days ago, I decided to again try to leave Wheat behind. It's been an interesting journey, and certainly not a perfect one. I can't say "I haven't touched wheat in 108 days!" Nope, not at all. But I have, day and in and day out, changed the way I eat and eliminated it almost entirely.

In those 108 days, I had no weight loss. Zip, zero, zilch. It was disheartening to say the least, but I felt better, so I kept up with it.

Yesterday, I stepped on the scale just for kicks.

I've lost 6 pounds.

That 6 pounds came out of nowhere, I think I weighed last about 10 days ago.

Part of me, the Negative Nelly, says, Really? 108 days to lose six stinking pounds?

But frankly, I'm pretty darn happy. Something shifted, finally. I won't be getting back on the scale any time soon, lol. I want to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment for as long as possible!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    That's great. How our bodies work is kind of mysterious, isn't it?
I find recently and in the past that my body does not lose weight steadily.
I drop 2 pounds and it takes a while. My body finds set points and then sticks to them. Actually, that is a pretty good thing because I don't gain weight fast either.

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EGALITAIRE 7/26/2012 1:57PM

    Focus on progress - it is a step in the direction you want to be going. And you feel good doing it.

Stay Strong

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IAMFRANSGIRL 7/26/2012 12:10PM

    Hey! Very cool. 108 days to lose 6 pounds after losing nothing for a while is great. besides, you didn't gain overnight, so it won't disappear that fast either.

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KATCHAGIRL 7/26/2012 12:08PM

    emoticon WHOOOOOOOOOOOOT!! That is OUTSTANDING! Way to go girl! I'm glad it not only made you feel better, but loosing 6 pounds ain't nothin' to sneeze about! I think that's fantastic! emoticon


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GOULDSGRANITE 7/26/2012 11:33AM

    emoticon i suffer from the same issue. I've been over two months with no weight loss. This belly fat that is left has been hanging on so long, (20 years) it is just going to take a bit longer to turn to muscle ~ Watch out! I too have given up bread products for the most part and feel great about it!

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