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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

So, that was a reality check. Not that I really needed one; my weight isn't any more surprising to me than it would be to anyone that's been following me around for the last five months (don't think I haven't seen you hiding in the bushes). But it's still sobering.

May 8th, I weighed 239.4 pounds. It was my first, and last, day in the 'Overweight' range. Then I just stopped...everything, really. I had some things happening in my personal life, but even when I got my life back on track I couldn't get the healthy habits back on track. It was too much good food, good wine, good beer, good booze. I made a few half-hearted efforts to start running again (and a decent three-quarter-hearted effort), but the last month or so has really been a slog.

I'm humbled, which isn't such a terrible thing. I lost 130 pounds in seven months last year and it gave me a feeling of invincibility. But I'm not invincible. I'm good at losing weight, sure - in fact, I've got one hell of an ability to both gain and lose weight. But I'm clearly not great at maintaining. I'm a lot like a recovering addict (despite my distaste for analogizing weight loss). I can kick the stuff, but I have to be vigilant and keep an eye on what I do or else BAM!, full relapse.

So now what? I go back to what worked. I track everything I eat. I exercise 5-6 days a week. I COME ON SPARKPEOPLE AND TALK TO YOU FINE PEOPLE. I know, I pushing three bills again, but I said I'd never see that number again, and I'd hate to be a liar. Plus, the one bonus of going completely on the rails is that those first few weeks are just going to be losing pounds hand over fist (what does that even mean?). So, yeah, sorry other BLC23 teams.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PETITFLOUR 12/1/2013 12:44PM

    you made an amazing journey. You can be really proud about yourself.

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LIVEDAILY 10/4/2013 5:25PM

Life happens. Glad you got the wake up call, in whatever form or fashion it was in. Welcome back to regaining control, tracking your food and fitness, and socializing with us folk who missed your cheerful face.

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JUSTLIKEALICE 9/29/2013 10:11PM

    Love your face. That is all :)

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KIN59VARA 9/28/2013 3:28PM

    It is going to be a great round!

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ALEXIAAG 9/26/2013 3:50PM

    emoticon Josh you can do this! You did it before, you can get to your goal weight!

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LOLATURTLE 9/26/2013 9:46AM


You know, maybe I'm a freak or something, but I have always kind of felt like, for some of us, it's almost necessary to do this. To kind of fall off a cliff and gain a bunch of weight back and have that "Wait, WHAAAAT?" moment. It definitely teaches you things that getting all the way to goal with zero setbacks does not teach you. Plus, it makes you go "well, I won't do THAT again..." haha.

So I look at it this way: you got that out of the way, so you're ready to go full steam ahead. I'm sure you'll be amazing.

I'm not in BLC but if I were I'd be SHAKIN IN MY BOOTS!!!

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TKO0551 9/25/2013 7:11PM

    I am in the same boat my friend. ...and posted a very similar blog myself.... emoticon emoticon emoticon


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SOFT_VAL67 9/25/2013 7:05PM

    Josh, I know you must be so frustrated, but the good thing about it is, you are aware, and you arent in denial about how you gained the weight back and you know what you need to do, or at least try to do, and you are willing and ready and we are all behind you.
I am sorry to hear you have had personal issues, it seems to be a running theme this year.
I can honestly say I catch myself saying things like, "if i keep losing weight" and "when i lose the rest of this weight"....truth is, I havent lost a single pound since Feb. Yes, I have lost, but I gained it back and lost it and gained it.
So, I am actually about 11 lbs higher than I was in Feb.
Breaking my foot really worked on me, not just physically but emotionally and like you I was dealing with such deep personal pain that my focus became blurred.
I am back to the walking track daily, or at least 5 days a week, and I am watching my calories and sparking again.
I feel better about where i am now than where I was even a month ago.
You always encouraged me and gave me the extra push I needed to keep going, just reading your blog about bandaids, I will never forget that, helped me to open up to sp friends and talk about how I too have had to deal with "sports related rashes and rubbings".... emoticon
I know you can get back to that number and I know you can surpass it and knock down all the walls in your way.
Thanks for sharing.
I will think of you when I am working out and walking and know that I cant wait to read your next blog, I know it will be encouraging!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PARASELENIC 9/25/2013 2:44PM

    I accept your challenge OTHER BLC teamer!

Cycles are natural, and some of us are have bigger pendulum swings than others. I fall off the wagon and lose progress, and it SUCKS because in some ways the cycle makes it seem pointless. I've lost and gained the same set of weight for a while now.

It's time for a change.

I know you fell off the wagon. And BOOZE and FRIED FOOD are so good and so fun and I have friends that drink and eat and are thin and why can't I be like that?

Stupid scale.

I know this post seems a little frenetic, but that's how I feel about it-- I'm where you are, in many ways.

I'm really glad that you're back.

You didn't lose all of your progress. You're not starting over from ground zero. You have done this before, so you know what needs to be done to get back there, to surpass your overweight to the healthy bmi.

You can do this. I can do this. We can even do this together, blc competition style.

So good to see you back. Thank you for posting this. I needed to read it.

Comment edited on: 9/25/2013 2:45:03 PM

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ADARKARA 9/25/2013 2:24PM

    You took the first step! emoticon

You CAN do this!

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_BABE_ 9/25/2013 2:17PM

    Backsliding in your weight loss efforts is a tough pill to swallow. Now you know that going back to old habits gets you the same old results.

Sounds like you are ready to get back at it and judging from past weight loss results, you will be successful. emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/25/2013 1:34PM

    Is there anything more inspiring to get your ass back in gear than jumping on the scale... I don't think so. Well, you faced reality, and sounds like you have a plan to get things moving again! So get moving, lol!

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    We have all been there. I'm learning that I'm actually really good at maintenance but I suck at losing the last 10 or so pounds. I just looked back and realized I've been at the same weight since May. You are a rock star and you will blow this out of the water like you always do. You are such a huge inspiration because of that, and because of your awesomeness. Just do what you know you need to do and you will be fine.

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_MOBII_ 9/25/2013 1:02PM

    I was in the bushes, uh, looking for twigs and berries to eat! Yeah...that's it!

Believe you me (wtf does that even mean!?) Believe me when I say, I know how hard it is to drag yourself back on track.
Its just good to see you back!

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TRINIITY1 9/25/2013 1:01PM

    Hey, you certainly inspired me to make a goal for 35 lbs for this. What am I nuts?! We got no where to go now but down since the BLC23 started. emoticon So let's keep our eye on the prize instead of behind! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SANDLADY48 9/25/2013 12:50PM

    "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." Or "today is the tomorrow you promised yourself, yesterday!" (or something like that)

Do it today, do it now.

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KASHMIR 9/25/2013 12:48PM

    You have a fantastic support system in place with the Spies...and you are capable of being a great support system for those who need you. Looking forward to watching you bring it on.

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MINEA999 9/25/2013 12:46PM

    How did you see me in the bushes? I thought I was more hidden than that.

I too have an incredible capacity to gain weight quickly. Unfortunately I don't lose it just as quick. I also suck at maintaining - which is how I got back up there in the first place.

You know what works for you so you have to use those rules and tools again, you're in the right place to get the support and I'm quite sure that it'll come off quick.

And yes, other BLC teams should beware.

You're amazing and can do anything you set your mind to. emoticon

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FITAT50 9/25/2013 12:41PM

    The Spies are here to support you in every way we can emoticon It is what it is right now, don't look back, set your goals and move forward.

LOL, I'm seeing Gold not only on your Spark page emoticon

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VICKYMARIEC 9/25/2013 12:35PM

    Glad your back! YOu know what you need to just do it now. Looking forward to seeing you around more.

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I'm back, etc.

Friday, August 30, 2013

This won't be an exceedingly long blog entry, but I just wanted to kind of announce my return and talk about where I've been.

The last few months have been kind of a lost summer for me. I stopped eating right - in fact, I started actively eating wrong - I stopped exercising and, SURPRISE!, I gained weight. A lot of weight. 35 pounds, in fact. I've got a pretty amazing ability to gain and lose weight really quickly. Usually, that's been a bad thing, because most of my life has been spent gaining weight. Lately, it's been bad again.

But fear not! I'm back on the wagon and getting back in shape. I'm almost two weeks into my restart and it's not taking me nearly as long to catch up as I'd thought, which is a relief. I've run a 10K (albeit REALLY slowly) and I've got my 3-mile pace back under 10 minutes, though it's just killer. But it's time to get back where I was. I ran a half-marathon in March, damn it. Speaking of the M-word, I've got plans for three half-marathons and a full marathon just in the next 10 months, because I'm a masochist. Still, I went from never running more than a mile in my life to running a half-marathon in less than four months, so I think I can hack it.

I'll write another blog post soon, but for now, I just want to say that I love youse guys and I've missed you and it's great to be back!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALEXIAAG 9/23/2013 8:48PM

    Great Blog Josh! You are a very determined man! You will get those pounds off in no time at all training for all those marathons! I'm proud to have you as a teammate on the Spies! ~Alexia~

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MICYWALTON 9/23/2013 5:28PM

    Glad to see you're back and doing well, hun! emoticon

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    Glad to hear that you are back on track with eating and exercise. Yeah to you!!!!!!!!

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LRSILVER 9/10/2013 4:50AM

    Keep pushing. Glad you are back on track.

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LUCYLU22 9/9/2013 5:03PM

    Glad to see you back!!!! I've seen what you can do, so I know it should be a piece of cake!!! You were definitely missed, dear Josh!


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THESHELBSTER 9/6/2013 2:34PM

    Ha! We are so much alike. I went from never running to running 10 miles in about 2 months back in April/May 2012. I made it to 10 miles and it just about broke me, because I was doing too much too soon that my body could not handle. I got so turned off of running that I never did it again until about 6 to 8 weeks ago.

This time I am trying to not push myself quite as hard, but I still went from running 1 mile to my new record today which is 6.75 miles. I am trying to work my way back up to 10 miles but this time I am trying to easy myself into it, increasing my distances by .25 to .5 miles and not being a complete dolt like I was the first run, 6 miles to 8 miles to 10 miles to injury, hating running, and never doing it again til 1.5 years later.

Glad you are back.

I need some humor and color in my life. :)

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    Josh your presence was def missed! Welcome home! emoticon emoticon

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PARASELENIC 9/2/2013 7:42PM

    So glad that you are back. I hope that your summer was really fun and liberating, even though there was the non exercise and eating crap going on... sometimes you need a break...

I hope you sign up/register for blc again-- it would be great to see you around there!

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LOLATURTLE 9/2/2013 10:43AM

    I know I've probably said this 10 times already but YAAAAAY YOU'RE BAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm there with you - was off eating "whatever" and not exercising, but watching it & RUNNING again! Of course I run a LOT slower and a lot less, but.... WAY TO GO, YOU!! Excited for race updates!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANELAKANOA 8/31/2013 5:31PM

  I'm back too! Don't worry you are not alone! I gained a lot of weight back too! We can do this!!!


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MINEA999 8/30/2013 5:44PM

    Ridiculously happy you're back. Now that you and Lolaturtle are back, my little weightloss world is complete. :)

You'll shave off the gained weight quick. I like to believe that's because the new weight hasn't really dug in and had a chance to stick to you will let go easier. I swear it's true.


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    So glad you are back. You'll lose that weight weight since you are a friggin' rockstar.

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_MOBII_ 8/30/2013 3:35PM

    We've missed you too! Glad to see you back and glad to see you are back on track!
You did a 10k slowly? Good, you can stay at the back of the pack and keep me company emoticon J/k!

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SOFT_VAL67 8/30/2013 3:21PM

    So beyond happy to see you back. And also so happy to read you are getting back on track. It has been a summer like that for me too, happily I only gained back about 12 lbs and I blogged last night about my re-dedication to kicking the carb habit again.
But I am so very happy to read your blog as I always was.
Never forgot you friend and cant wait to read more successful inspirational stories from you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENNIEONFIRE 8/30/2013 3:20PM

    Missed you Josh-glad to see that you are back

Take care of yourself emoticon

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Gaming the system.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

So after much deliberation (all right, a little deliberation), Iíve decided to go back to daily weigh-ins. The last month has not been particularly kind to me, weight-loss-wise. I think that I just have a personality that wants to game the system. In other words, I like to take the easy way out. When I only weigh in on Wednesdays, I have a habit of overdoing things on, say, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and occasionally Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays, because I have time to ďmake it up.Ē Then, of course, I spend Monday and Tuesday scrambling to lose the weight I gained in the last few days. Sometimes I can, sometimes I canít.

But even if I was losing weight every week, it would still be a bad policy. Itís not a terrible thing that Iíve started relaxing a little bit about my diet; eating 1800 calories a day instead of 1500 a day is going to make things easier to maintain. But when thatís combined with several 3000-3500 calorie days, itís no good. And I need that accountability to help me eat right, and keep going to the gym even when I donít want to, and to push my workouts from mediocre to good. I hopped on the elliptical for an hour yesterday, and Iíve done the elliptical many times in the last 10 months. But yesterday, I pushed it to a new level. By the end, I had sweaty spots within the sweaty spots on my shirt. It felt great to kick my ass again.

Iím also getting excited about the weather turning and the clocks changing. That first week is always rough, because waking up before dawn is depressing and awful. But being able to run outside after work again is a huge relief. Itís been great having a gym membership but having nothing to see but Fox News is not great motivation to hit the gym. Even if Iím running on the same path Iíve run on a hundred times before, just being outside is enjoyable.

Speaking of running outside, Iím excited for the Urban Adventure Run Iím going on tonight. Basically, you start at a running store, and youíre given a map with a bunch of local businesses that are handing out raffle tickets, from ľ mile to 3 miles away, then you get an hour to hit as many of them as possible and get back for the raffle, where thereís food and beer. Seriously, what more motivation do you need to get out and run?

Finally, Iím 17 days away from my second half-marathon, and the first that Iím going to attempt to run. Iím not supremely confident, if only because a combination of laziness and a nasty flu has set back my training. Still, Iím going to go 13.1 miles, whether I have to run it or walk it. I probably wonít make the pace I was hoping for when I first signed up, but Iíll have gone 13.1 miles further than I did on the last March 24th, and thatís a win.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTLIKEALICE 4/1/2013 11:18PM

    You should see if there is a hashing group in your area. You might like it.

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FITAT50 3/10/2013 5:00PM

    Happy DST! I expect you'll be getting in lots of running outside now emoticon

I love the last sentence of your blog...that says it all!

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COOKIE_AT_51 3/9/2013 8:20AM

    emoticon Your Urban adventure sounds really neat ... hope it was lots of fun plus you burned some calories.

Go get em ... emoticon

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KRISTA-GIRL 3/9/2013 12:32AM

    Oh my goodness, that Urban Adventure Run sounds like fun!! How did it go for you?

Hey, another good reason to weigh more often - you can identify food sensitivities. I'm not particularly sensitive to sodium, but what an eye-opener it was to see what it did to my weight! I've noticed it with other things, too. Just wanted to share. :-)

Nice job on the medieval torture, uh - er, elliptical!

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THEMRSH 3/8/2013 8:37PM

    emoticon Personally I like your last paragraph discussing your race much more than the first time I read your thoughts on your upcoming race!

Try out the everyday WI but be careful. Like me you fall into the "I have X days to work this off" pattern. However with daily WI it also becomes easy to go to the opposite end and give yourself a bit of slack when you've seen a loss on the scale. Then that one day leads to two days and before you know it it's Wednesday and a big gain because you had a false sense of security.

For me, I'm learning it's best to just live confidently in the direction of my goal everyday and KNOW that I'm doing the right thing instead of allowing the scale to direct me.

Enjoy your Urban Race! Sounds like fun.

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 3/8/2013 6:02PM

    Howdy! How'd you do during the urban race? It sounds like a lot of fun and very motivational. Good luck on the upcoming 1/2 marathon!

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MEKNOX 3/8/2013 1:19PM

    Loved this blog! It's so true about gaming the system. I find myself being a bit more lax on Wed/Thurs/Fri than I should be. And while the weekend challenges tend to kick my butt into gear, they don't always. Thanks so much for sharing. Very well written blog.

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JENNIEONFIRE 3/7/2013 11:02PM

    I seem to be having the same problem myself lately :( Seems like the weekends I totally over due things and then by mon/tues im kicking my own arse to get back to where I need to be....Sounds like you guys have some pretty cool adventures where you live! I wish ny wasn't so crappy weather wise sometimes

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SOFT_VAL67 3/7/2013 9:30PM

    Sounds like you have had weight watchers weigh in syndrome...weigh in, eat for 4 days and then worry about getting that lb or two off before weigh in day.
but you are on top of things, as usual and you will succeed and surpass....good luck and keep working hard

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BLUE42DOWN 3/7/2013 5:10PM

    Ooh, I'm signed up for one of those Adventure Runs myself -- looking forward to seeing how it works out.

I totally get the idea of gaming the system. (In a way the BLC encouraged me a little too much in that - with TnT on Thursday, Weekend Challenges for Friday through Monday, and LCW and Tuesday ... which seemed to be giving me permission to PIG OUT and SLACK OFF on Wednesday rather than just focus on good habits most of the time.)

As long as you don't have the mood swings that mirror the scale, and are used to your own natural fluctuations, daily weigh-ins can be useful.

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ANGELAK85 3/7/2013 4:08PM

    You obviously have the motivation to kick ass, so you will do it. That is awesome you will be doing another half marathon here very soon, good luck with that :)
I hope the weighing every day will work for you and will push you to keep in check

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MICYWALTON 3/7/2013 3:30PM

    I started taking my kindle to the gym with me. Makes me forget what I'm doing and focus on the story...something other than waiting for the minutes to tick away. lol Good luck with your half-marathon! Woot! emoticon

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LUCYLU22 3/7/2013 2:40PM

    emoticon emoticon I know you have it in you, Josh!!! Keep on pushing the limit and you can get back to it!! I NEED to push that limit again too!!! THANK YOU for the motivation to keep pushing!!! LET'S DO IT!!


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Not up to task.

Monday, February 04, 2013

I think I won the Super Bowl of eating yesterday.

All joking aside, yesterday was not a good day, eating-wise, for me. I went to a Super Bowl party, and this party included a Super Bowl cookoff. And people cooked it off, thatís for sure. There was a ton of amazing food, and I ate all of it. Maybe not all of it, but my share and your share and a few other peopleís shares too. And there was no good reason for it. Not that the food wasnít good; there were some amazing things there. And I wanted to try all the dishes, but that wasnít really the problem either.

The problem was that I just kept going. I packed myself so damn full that I felt sick, and then I kept eating. I could easily have tried every dish, had some snacks and treats, and still have avoided Fatmageddon. But I didnít. I actively chose not to eat the way I should. Now, of course, I have to really think about the answer to why that is.

I know what I should be doing. I spent seven months doing exactly what I should and I had the results to prove it. Since then, though, Iíve been in a holding pattern. Iím not doing all the things that got me to 400 pounds, but Iím also not doing all the things that got me to 270. So whatís changed? Why donít I seem to have the strength that I had in the beginning?

Really, Iím finding that Iím not challenging myself the way that I did before. I could have held back yesterday, tried everything there was to try, indulge just enough to satisfy myself, and I could have felt good about it at the end of the day. But I wanted to eat a pigs in a blanket two at a time more than I wanted to lose weight this week. That would be fine if I felt like Iím where I want to be, but Iím definitely not. Iím getting complacent and self-satisfied, and thatís not OK with me.

This has extended to my workouts too. I spent about a week and a half doing very little Ė first because I was on a trip and I was lazy, and then because I had a nasty flu that forced me to take it easy Ė and itís taking a long time to get back. I had plans for a six-mile run on Saturday and that didnít happen. Oh, I started running intending to run six miles, but at the two-mile mark I started walking. In the end, it turned into a relatively good workout; I alternated walking and running, walking around a quarter mile followed by running a half-mile or a mile. But I was running six and seven miles before and to pull up at a third of that is frustrating.

The worst part is that I can do it. I believe that I could have pushed through if I wanted to. Part of the problem is that it only took a couple of weeks for my body to completely forget how to regulate its speed. I can run at a ten-minute pace fairly comfortably, but for some reason when I started running on Saturday, I was pushing up to a 9:15-9:30 pace. So I canít say Iím too surprised that I sputtered out after two miles.

So whatís the solution? Iíve lost 140 pounds, and I have at least 50 to go. To do this, I have to work out a lot, eat things that arenít terrible for me and eat a normal amount of them, andÖwell yeah, thatís it. Like my favorite refrain, ďSimple, not easy.Ē I just need to do it.

Anyway, there is one bit of positive news to report. I bought myself a new pair of jeans this weekend, size 38x32, which is my first pair of jeans in the 30s in at least ten years. This is all well and good, but if I donít get my ass in gear Iím going to be back in the 40s, and I have no interest in that. What I want is to be closer to 200 pounds than 300 pounds. I want to feel like Iím pushing myself, not like Iím giving less than my best. Thatís going to come down to me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTLIKEALICE 2/6/2013 10:00PM

    You know what you need to do. Now do it. emoticon

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SOFT_VAL67 2/5/2013 6:17PM

    Could it be, that when you finally reached that one big goal, you recently met, that you felt, "ok, ive made it, now i can let up on myself a little"....maybe??
or, it could be that you, feeling a lot more normal around your friends, and probably not as embarrassed or self conscious, now feel like you can eat as they do and not be overly judged.
and enjoying yourself during a superbowl party, or any other event is something we all strive for.
i think you have done an amazing job and because of your blogs, i have worked just a little harder...
as i am sure alot of sparkers have...
dont be too tough on yourself, you are well aware of what you need to do and you are well aware of what you are doing wrong...and eventually you will melt the two and get back on track.
personally and for some this might be a cop out, but i am feeling the cold weather and winter blues have set alot of us back
some more than others....
just keep working out and the desire to work harder will return
and you know you dont eat that way every day...just remember how you felt the morning after and i dont think you will make it a habit....
good luck sweet friend and keep on inspiring us all.... emoticon

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JENNIEONFIRE 2/4/2013 11:17PM

    Sounds to me like you need to shake up your workout a have lost a lot of weight but now you need new challenging things to keep your mind and body in the game....This is the harder part but I know you can do it Josh! emoticon

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TOWHEE 2/4/2013 9:07PM

    Can anyone say "BOREDOM"? I'm bored with doing everything right. I'm bored with eating the way I should instead of the way I want.
Why do I want pigs in a blanket instead of a piece of ham on a Wasa?
Why do I want oreos or brownies or a sticky bun instead of an apple or a pear or an orange?
The hard part is trying to make me crave the fruits and veggies and not the processed sweets.

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    When you talk about a "ton of amazing food," it makes me think that you've somehow been feeling deprived of certain things you'd cut out of your diet, and suddenly there they were, all of them, staring you in the face and daring you to walk away and eat rabbit food instead.

Is there a way to incorporate some of these foods into your meal plan, or to schedule a cheat day occasionally? I know there are certain places I go where I won't get away without consuming 2,500 calories for the day, twice my minimum allowable. So I eat what I want to, enjoy it to the max, then get back on track the next day, knowing it's not the last time I'll ever have these foods.

Right now I have seven -- yes, 7 -- bars of chocolate that are only available here during about 2 weeks over the holidays. Just knowing they're available in the freezer means I didn't have to scarf them down the day I bought them because they wouldn't be for sale again until next December. So I can enjoy them over the course of the year.

I have faith in you and what you've learned from losing the weight. Gosh, 140 pounds is a whole medium-sized person! That's quite an accomplishment. Take a deep breath, get back on the program and know that you are stronger than any darn pig-in-a-blanket.

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LIVEDAILY 2/4/2013 7:32PM

    emoticon Do you need a good swift kick in the patootie?? Nah...I don't think so. Like you said, you know what you need to do. It's hard when you get sidetracked by vacations and illness...and LIFE. The most important thing though, is that you've realized you got sidetracked and you WANT to get back on track.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITAT50 2/4/2013 6:13PM

    Easy peasy...not! What do you want more is what it amounts to. We all know you CAN do it, find that drive again!. Stop by the chat thread daily for motivation and support emoticon

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JUSTCHELLE75 2/4/2013 5:11PM

    The end is way harder than the beginning

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ADARKARA 2/4/2013 4:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

Although we're dealing with it differently, I, too, am in a bit of a funk right now. I'm chalking it up to winter. If we can make it through the winter we can get back to our summer workout routines and feel better. We just have to make it there!

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ATTACKFATCAT 2/4/2013 4:33PM

    Do you tend to eat more in social situations like that? It may be that it's easier to be disciplined when it's just you and the food, but maybe it's more difficult with others around? I know that can be the case for me. It's not even the people pushing me to eat more, it's just the atmosphere is relaxed and I get that feeling that it's OK to be a pig if I want to. I think everyone has those moments, even in the middle of their weight loss. I see a lot of people on here who have a lot to lose and somewhere in the middle they lose their juice and need to recharge a bit. It happened to me too. I dropped about 50 pounds and was doing great and then...I just lost the motivation. Life got in the way, and while I maintained most of the loss, it took a while for me to want to truly lose more weight.

Maybe a change of pace is what you need. A new kind of workout or some different foods? A new challenge? What got me going again this round is an attempt at a triathlon in June. I tried for a 5K last year but gave up training because of knee issues and because I don't love to run. However, I do love to bike and swim, so I thought a triathlon would give me some fresh motivation and it has worked well so far.

Regardless, just look at this as a bump in the road and recommit yourself to it. Even if you try something new, you are going to have to push yourself at first to "just do it." Good luck!

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DEE797 2/4/2013 4:26PM

    You owned up to what you ate, Your in size 38's and now it's time to emoticon and moving forward towards your goal......because emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/4/2013 4:27:05 PM

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LUCYLU22 2/4/2013 4:14PM

    I do love your logic, knowing that it is 'simple', sure does NOT make it 'easy'! It really does just come down to doing the work, doesn't it? I know you have it in YOU, just time to find it again!

REMINDER: Look to the positive... you got "NEW" jeans, in the 30's! BE PROUD at what you have accomplished, and look forward to what you WILL accomplish!!!


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_MOBII_ 2/4/2013 3:46PM

    'Simple, not easy' You hit the nail with that one!

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GRATTECIELLA 2/4/2013 3:24PM

    I'm feeling the same way you are! I'm doing better than bad, but not good either. Time for us to find our motivation again!

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KASHMIR 2/4/2013 3:16PM

    I have found after a hyatis from running I almost always go out too fast, and after being sick, it all falls apart and I end up doing a run/walk instead of a planned walk. (Kinda dreading what's going to happen when the Dr clears me to run again!)

Care to have a Spy vs Spy side challenge on proper eating for the upcoming week? I am trying to get my food back under control after two weeks of comfort eating.

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*RENEAT* 2/4/2013 3:09PM

    You are very inspirational. Not just for your weight loss but in the way you see things as they really are and are honest with yourself about it. Thank you!! Keep up the good work! PS We all blew it for Superbowl I think....

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DIET_FRIEND 2/4/2013 3:00PM

    I am going through similar feelings about my eating addiction. I'm rededicating myself to tracking. It's great you are wearing 38 pants. It feels good to wear smaller sizes. We both know what to do and must resolve to do it.

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Message to a sixteen-year-old me.

Monday, January 28, 2013

What would I tell my 16-year-old self? See, thatís tough, because I didnít have the stereotypical high school fat kid experience. I always was fighting with my weight, but I wasnít teased much, I was fairly popular, and I was a successful athlete. Thatís not to toot my own horn, just that I donít so much need to give myself a pep talk as tough love:

So, 16-year-old me, I know you think you have this thing down. You pig out all spring and summer, sitting on your ass, and then you lose it in the fall and the winter when football and wrestling rolls around. Hell, youíre actually in pretty good shape by the time the spring comes. Then you start the cycle over again. Well, hereís the thing. In a couple years, thereís not going to be football or wrestling coming up. I know, I know, you think that youíre going to find some small college that wants you to play, but no, youíre not.

Basically, youíre going to have eleven straight years of spring. You know how you completely go to sh*t in the spring and summer? Donít try to lie; youíre going to gain fifty pounds in six months when youíre a senior, and trust me, Iím in a position to know. You think that 300 pounds is a lot? Try 400. And let me tell you, it happens without you even knowing it. How often do you weigh yourself once wrestling ends? And remember, donít try to lie, because Iíll know. Thatís right, you weigh yourself once, at the beginning of football season, so they can put your weight in the football program.

Well hereís the thing: when you never weigh yourself, it lets you deny what youíre really doing to your body. Then one day you take a deep breath, step on the scale and youíre 403 pounds. You donít even tell anyone how much you weigh now, and youíre only 205 pounds. One day youíre going to tell everyone you know, right out there on the internet, your weight. Every day. The day you start doing that? Youíll be 379.4 pounds. Not only that, thatís going to be after youíve already lost about 24 pounds. Yeah, youíre going to be that fat. No, itís not going to be pretty. Youíll buy all your clothes at one of two stores because those will literally be your only options. Youíll grow a beard because your face will be too fat to keep clean-shaven. Everything you do will make you sweat.

So hereís what you have to do: Work out, like almost every day. I know, it sucks now, going to wrestling practice every day, and all you want to do is finish the season so you can go do stupid stuff with your friends. But go do it anyway. Eventually, it will suck a lot less. In fact, youíll even enjoy it sometimes. But still, a lot of the time youíll just want to stay home and watch TV. I wonít lie to you, watching TV is a lot easier than working out. But you know what doesnít suck? Looking good in your clothes. Not sweating all the time. Not dreading walking half a mile to a restaurant with your friends. Finishing a half-marathon. Thatís my next goal. I havenít done it yet, but Iíve run seven miles. Whatís the farthest youíve run? Oh, a mile? Just as an FYI, thatís going to be the case for the next thirteen years.

So thatís what I have to tell you, 16-year-old me. Basically, eat vegetables, stop stuffing yourself, work out when you can. Itís not easy, trust me; Iím the one thatís been on both sides of it. Take care of yourself now, buddy; if you donít, youíll wish you had when youíre me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NIMAWEYGH 5/1/2013 7:47PM

    I wish I could go back and write this to my 16 year old self so I could read it tomorrow and know what I would put my body through. But there is no time like the present.

Well said. emoticon

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WWWINNER 5/1/2013 1:44PM

    Wow! This is an AWESOME blog! You have accomplished so much and should be very proud! This really got me thinking about what I want to tell the 16 year old me! Thank you for this!

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LOLATURTLE 4/30/2013 2:59PM

    This is awesome, I'm going to write one sometime!

There's more I could say, but the short version is:

"Dear 16-year-old-LolaTurtle,

Stop listening to what brainless, jealous knobs told you about your body when you were 11. You're hot. Buy some clothes that show off your rack a little and start breaking some hearts.



I know, I know... pics or it didn't happen. I'll try to find some pictures from back then where I'm wearing something other than a sweatshirt that would have covered my entire family. hahahaha.

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1DERLAND14 4/25/2013 9:19AM

    emoticon Very well stated! :)

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FITAT50 2/3/2013 12:51PM

    Isn't it great that you won't be telling your 35 year old self to get healthy? Great blog!

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PIXIEMOM13 1/31/2013 2:34PM

    I think you're not only going to get back to the sorts of things your 16 year old self could do...but you'll exceed them. You've got determination, goals and guts! emoticon

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JUSTLIKEALICE 1/29/2013 11:23PM


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BABIESTEPS 1/29/2013 11:17PM

    Nice blog Josh! I can hear your determination in your words to get yourself back where you want to be...and you will! You are still that athlete who kicked @ss back at 16! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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_MOBII_ 1/29/2013 1:06PM

    My grandpa always used to tell me 'Hindsight is 20/20' ...something I never understood until it was too late...hence the saying, I guess!

Your blog is so well written and I agree that more young people NEED to hear this sort of thing!

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*RENEAT* 1/29/2013 10:07AM

    Great blog! Oh to have that metabolism again! Have a great day!

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TOMSGIRL9 1/29/2013 7:51AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENNIEONFIRE 1/29/2013 12:38AM

    Always an inspirational read from you Josh. I think you should speak at schools for all those sixteen year olds out there

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SOFT_VAL67 1/28/2013 8:41PM

    Oh the things I would tell a 16 year old me...mostly, dont get pregnant and dont drop out of high school.
But I would tell a 20 year old me, hey, arent you letting this weight thing get out of control
you were 145 lbs when your baby was born 3 years ago
if you had lost that 20 lbs you would be doing good now...
oh well, cant go back, i do love my son and glad i didnt know then what i knew later
or something like that....
you have done so amazing.
and i know that goal will be just one more met.
i love your blogs, always!!!! emoticon

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MICHIGANLORI 1/28/2013 7:21PM

    emoticon You will do your half marathon and it will not suck. emoticon

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LUCYLU22 1/28/2013 6:23PM

    As ALWAYS LOVE the blog!!! Oh don't we wish we could GO back and tell our
16-year-old self to BEHAVE!!


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GRATTECIELLA 1/28/2013 6:15PM

    I love the tell-it-like-it-is tone of this. So many high schoolers need to hear this!

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THENEWMANDA 1/28/2013 6:00PM

    Love this!!!!!!!!!!

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MICYWALTON 1/28/2013 5:50PM

    Great blog, Josh!! emoticon

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