OLGA18   9,018
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OLGA18's Recent Blog Entries

Here we go again...

Saturday, September 06, 2014

A year has gone by and it has been a long one. After being plagued with terrible pain I was diagnosed with a ruptured disc and cervical spine degeneration. I was totally thrown off course with the pain for about 7 months before I started to feel better. Then as soon as I started feeling better I had terribly painful tooth issue followed by the longest root canal process known to man. I gained back all the weight plus some.
Sooooo...Here I go again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OLGA18 9/6/2014 12:28PM

  Thank you golfgma!!!!

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GOLFGMA 9/6/2014 7:23AM

    Glad you're back and ready to go again. You know what works and I'm sure you will do great! emoticon

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How can I feel like a failure?

Friday, November 15, 2013

Why do I feel like I failed today when I shouldn't?
I have exercised all but 3 days in the past month.
I have stayed within my calorie range all but maybe 2 of those days.
I have steadily lost pounds and inches and I have been able to fit into jeans I haven't worn for 2 years, am wearing smaller bras and can wear a belt again.
This morning I was just so physically tired and I knew that my body was telling me to take a day off from exercise so I did.
Tonight is the World Cup soccer game...HUGE deal here in Sweden - so a bit of a party atmosphere in our home with my hubby and stepson. So I ate very healthy all day but at my lower calorie range so I could have a couple of glasses of wine and some popcorn from a recipe I found here on sparkpeople.
But I ate the popcorn even though I wasn't hungry (the wine was very nice).
Then, because the popcorn didn't hit the mark I ate the rest of it (probably a cup) with melted butter and salt.
So I feel like a failure.
What is wrong with me that I can feel like I failed because I let my body rest for a day and went (not even a lot) over my upper calorie range for the day?
How I SHOULD feel is thankful that I had a day of rest while still getting the housework and grocery shopping done and then having time to relax with a good book while my family celebrates watching the big World Cup game.
How I SHOULD feel is really proud of myself that I have walked a healthy path for a month and am stronger and healthier than I was a month ago.
Why do I feel like I failed myself?????

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INBRAZILFORNOW 11/24/2013 5:26PM

    You are a great success! It's easy to pick on yourself - go with the harder choice - celebrate yourself!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOVEITMARY 11/24/2013 2:38PM

    Our society trains us to focus on the negative, and if we focus on the postive too much, people act as if we've grown a second head.

It takes a LOT of time and practice to overcome this and focus on the positive, what you are feeling is perfectly normal - AND you can learn not to do it, by doing exactly as you did in this blog, reminding yourself daily of the positive things.

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YBBHAPPY 11/16/2013 2:44PM

    Hang in there! You are by no means a failure! Hope your weekend is fantastic! emoticon

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GAILANN48 11/16/2013 4:41AM

    Heavens, no, you're not a failure!

I think that sometimes it takes a while for us to stop playing the "old tapes" in our heads. Your behaviors have changed, and your inner voice can, too.

Progress, not perfection, right? Some of us seem to have gotten the idea that perfectionism is a virtue. Someone here wrote about perfectionism yesterday and summed it up by saying that perfectionism is itself a fault, an insidious "ruiner" of our view of ourselves. But we can let it go, one day at a time.

I agree with REBIRTHDIVA, "YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!" Hope your have a wonderful weekend!
:) Gail

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OLGA18 11/16/2013 4:26AM

  Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I sincerely appreciate it. emoticon

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LUANN7 11/15/2013 11:28PM

    you should feel proud of yourself and not feel guilty about one day for sure. Just make sure you get right back on track tomorrow and keep up the good work your doing fine!!!

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REBELBLITZ 11/15/2013 8:16PM

    Guess what! You had fun and enjoyed an evening with family, wine, and some rich goodies. Sometimes we need that day of rest and eat some of our favorite treats. Many times I have noticed the scales will move down Next week even though I have indulged a bit .

Get back on track tomorrow.

Give thanks for a fun day!

You are doing awesome, my friend. Cheryl

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FIRECRACKER61 11/15/2013 7:08PM

    Hi, Please don't crush your spirit by feeling bad when it is unnecessary. One day a little over does not counter act all the good things you have done lately for your healths sake. Remember this night with fond memories of good time with family. Tomorrow is brand new and you can begin your calorie count again. Its really not possible, I think, to always hit the mark on calories because our lives are flowing because we are living, lives are not perfectly boxed. Love yourself. Your are doing a great job. emoticon

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 11/15/2013 6:58PM

    Hey, remind yourself that you are a success with every healthy choice you make! Aim for progress, not perfection!

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SEAJESS 11/15/2013 5:31PM

    emoticon You are doing an AWESOME job of transforming your life! But I suspect you know that. After all, your question is "Why do I feel like a failure?"

emoticon I can tell you why I think I have those thoughts... and I suspect we all do. For one, they are habitual and habits are HARD to break. We all have sabotaging thoughts such as "I didn't do it PERFECTLY and now I'm a failure and I may as well quit and eat a gallon of New York Super Fudge Chunk RIGHT NOW!" Those thoughts may never go away. I'll tell you if I've erased them if you show up at the end when my life flashes before my eyes.

emoticon What's important for us to know is that thoughts come and go. If we let one go, another will be along in a second or two to replace it. Even better, we can learn new thoughts! Thoughts like "I missed a few days but I exercised WAY more than the minimum requirements for health" or "I'm going to learn from my experience so I can improve to reach my goals" or.... {insert positive thought here}.

Healthy living, like running, is mostly a mind game. Beck's Diet Solution is a book that is really helping me and there's also a Beck group on Spark. Come play with us if you'd like. Train your mind and make life more fun. Above all, be gentle with yourself.


Comment edited on: 11/15/2013 5:32:15 PM

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REBIRTHDIVA 11/15/2013 5:28PM

    Sounds like you have been hanging out with some of my shame gremlins. You are NOT a failure! I repeat. You are NOT a failure! emoticon

Don't be so hard on yourself. This is a process and some days are better than others. Moderation is important. Be kind and loving to yourself. You are doing an awesome job emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JACKSGRAN 11/15/2013 4:37PM

    It seems as though we need to punish ourselves for our success sometimes. You have succeeded, so you need to reward yourself.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

You had a stupendous month! Forget today and move on to the next stage.


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BLUBIRDY00 11/15/2013 4:11PM

  You sound like you think you failed yourself because your very committed and realize you don't usually eat rich foods. You have had a really nice, long streak of consistency. I think your feelings demonstrate how committed you are and you will feel better as soon as you work out and get back to your preferred meal pattern. Be kind to yourself, your doing really well!
Cheers! emoticon

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Back to square one

Monday, October 14, 2013

Grrr.....I have successfully undone all the progress I made a few months ago. But I'm back and I'm determined to stay focused. It's so frustrating but I know I am not alone. Here's to better days ahead!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATERONE 11/8/2013 2:46PM

    Don't worry. You can get back on track. emoticon emoticon

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JAZZEJR 10/25/2013 10:59AM

    How are you doing now, Olga? Staying with your plan? emoticon

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Vacation damage

Monday, July 29, 2013

After 6 weeks of vacation and not always the best food choices I am back home and back on track.
I'm not going to even concern myself with the weight I gained back on vacation in fact, I am not going to weigh myself for a couple of weeks. I know I gained some cause my clothes are a little tighter but I really don't care. I ate the things that I can not get here in Sweden and I enjoyed every mouthful.
But now it's time to continue my journey to health.
It's great to be back!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMANDANCES 7/29/2013 9:35AM

    That's a great attitude to take! You'll drop those extra pounds in no time!! Press on!

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SUNSHINE99999 7/29/2013 8:39AM

  Yes, welcome back. Have a great week. emoticon

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JACKSGRAN 7/29/2013 8:32AM

    That seems a very healthy way to regard it. Welcome back. I'm sure you'll soon be Sparking like mad

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Vacation w/o SP

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Ok, tomorrow is the day I get on the plane for 6 weeks vacation with limited internet access.
I guess I can try to use Iphone to do SP but I'm not sure how that will work....I shall see.
I am going to try very hard to stay on track though I'm not going to New England without eating at least a small portion of fried clams as they don't exist here in Sweden.
Other than that I am looking forward to some nice, fresh swordfish and tuna fish on the grill and lots of fresh, homegrown produce from the farmer's markets!
It will be good to be home and see my family!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKSGRAN 6/12/2013 11:22AM

    Have a great time.

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OLGA18 6/12/2013 7:14AM

  Thank you. That's really good to know.

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ELRIDDICK 6/12/2013 6:55AM

  It works great! Just can't spin the wheels, everything else works well.

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