Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Do you ever have mornings where you just feel better and lighter? You just feel like you've lost weight? And then you weigh yourself and you have had a drop?
Well that just happened to me - love it!! I have, internally, a big cheesy grin right now. Externally, a happy little smirk.
When I weighed I was down 2.5 lbs. Total of 4.5 since I got recommitted on this journey of health and weight loss.
Then this morning I see that a lot of other people are posting 1, 2 or even 4 or 5 lb weight losses - WE ROCK! One was breaking a plateau which feels extra good :)
Now if you didn't have a loss, or even had a gain today, don't worry, you will. Keep sweating and nourishing and it'll come. I know people who were in months or even year long plateaus, but eventually something shifted and they broke through, and we are all here to help!
I was already feeling hopeful and determined, but those feelings really got a boost this morning :) It's so rewarding. And I can look back and see what I've eaten and when I've sweated and know I earned it, it wasn't a fluke.
Now though comes the important part - I have to keep going. Sure 4.5 lbs is great, but I cannot let up and get relaxed about it and blow what I've accomplished. I've got to use this little success to fuel the future ones, Not feel like I deserve a day off or an unhealthy splurge. I want to keep this feeling and savor it.
The other day I looked back at some blogs from when I was doing really well, right before I slipped - I believe it was March of 2013 so it really was only like a year and a half that I put on the weight, not 2 like I thought, eek! - and I REALLY want to get back to that place. I remember clothes were looking good, I had some muscle tone going on in my arms and legs, I was wearing shorts for the first time in years , but I was motivated and positive. I was jogging and seeing huge improvements with that. I was kickboxing. I was doing yoga at least once a week. I was doing strength. I had a well balanced routine and I was giving my body what it needed. I was being creative with how I could add filling veggies and whole grains to my tilapia lunch for low calories, so of course tracking it all.
I'm letting go of the part where I screwed up and gained everything back. It's in the past, gone.
But I am reliving the feeling of success and accomplishment, of health and energy. That's where I want to get to again, and today was the first time I caught a taste of it in a long time.
That's why I'm a little giddy. :)
Hope everyone has a great healthy rest of your week!!
Monday, August 25, 2014
Oh sure, it might seem as though I'm wishy-washy. I have been known to be on occasion. However, when it comes to this crazy roller coaster weight loss journey, I think it's completely necessary, at least for me.
I have a plan. The plan doesn't work. I have a NEW plan. That doesn't quite work. I tweak the plan. and on and on and on.
So here are my current thoughts...
I had a plan I implemented for a few weeks of rising early (about 5am) and getting meditation and exercise in before my hubby left for work (so I could leave the house by myself to walk and have my almost 5 year old be watched, of course).
The problem? I was meditating first to make sure to get it in, then workout. The problem is when I wake up late. I need about 20 minutes for meditation and then want to do 30-45 minutes of exercise, we're now looking at an average of an hour. So when I'd wake late I'd either give up or just meditate and skip the workout.
The tweak? It's not as simple for me as it sounds, because I want to pursue balance in all areas of my life. I can't just focus on weight loss or I'll obsess and let everything else fall by the wayside and get down about it then the weight loss suffers. I need to keep balance. I want to work on creating time daily where I focus on getting organized, exercising and eating healthy, meditating and writing. But I need to do them at the right times so it will flow. I need a new schedule.
What I realized is that I can halfway meditate while I walk in the morning. Sure, if I'm doing zumba I can't, but if I'm walking out in nature I can certainly let my thoughts wander, or focus my thoughts on positive mantras as I walk, I can focus my energy in a more positive healthful way. That can be good enough. If I can't devote time on doing both separately each day, I'll combine them.
Also on school days I may do strength in the morning and meditation, then when I drop my son off for school, take a walk on the bike path that's a block away. This is another big step for me, because I was planning on spending almost every day he has school (preschool 3 days a week, 3 hours per day) at my favorite local coffee shop to write. The problem with that is I spend too much money, eat and drink way too many calories, And I am at a week or so now of being coffee free to help my acid reflux. So it probably wouldn't be smart to hang out there. I might go occasionally, Or I can take a walk, head home (about 5 min drive) and do some writing there, I can meditate at that time too, etc. I always have before bed and during nap for meditation time opportunities as well. This decision has not been easy, but it's definitely a smarter decision than my previous plan to go once a week or something.
Yes, I ramble. If you are new to my blogs...Sorry! You'll get used to it :) This is where I sort my thoughts and make up my plans :)
So. Wake early, maybe do 5:30 instead of 5:00 (normally need to get back by 6:30). Get changed, bathroom, maybe grab something small to eat if I'm hungry and drink some water and head out the door. Come back and if there's time before I have to get my son up, Say bye to the hubby and go meditate. If there's not time, work on it later like when I come back home. And like I said if I decide to do strength I can either do it in the morning and walk after I drop him, or walk first thing and do strength when I come back home. I like having the option so I can go with how I feel. In the winter I might walk in my snow boots, but when it gets bitter cold I'll just head back home.
And maybe I can convince one of the other moms to walk with me after we drop the kids also!
I'm excited about this new plan, partly because I love fall weather, and it is coming! Today they are letting out schools early because it is so hot and humid it feels like well over 100, with the actual high at 'only' 87 degrees. But tomorrow the high is 83, then wednesday 78, thursday 77...the highest I see in the next 10 days is 83. So it's coming, slowly but surely. It'll be good walking weather in the morning!
I'm also going to try to take the dog most mornings so that'll help her too and make me feel good getting her some proper exercise. (she's been difficult, but a new collar/leash is helping so she doesn't pull as hard constantly - she's 95 lbs and was about 7 when we got her 2 years ago and she was NOT trained at all, so it was a constant stressful struggle so I'd tend not to take her. At least she has 5 acres to run, she does get exercise!)
So, I'm giving up the coffee shop, recommitting to the early wake-ups, and moving forward. My son's preschool starts Sept 3rd, so September is going to be an all new routine for me and I'm excited. And if something doesn't work as planned, I'll come up with another option.
Hope everyone else is doing well!! I miss so many of you - I wasn't on regularly for a while and then I come back and see many friends haven't updated anything in ages either. Hope to touch base with you all soon!!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
So....To those of you that knew me when I was losing weight and being kind of awesome and motivated...How I hope I can get back to that place. Over the last 2 years I have gained back everything and more. I've gained 50 lbs.
I'm over being disappointed in myself about it. I am having a little mini (until I hear otherwise) health scare right now and between that and how I FEEL it might just be the motivation I need to get back to being motivated and working hard.
The mini health scare is that a brand new weird looking mole just popped up on my forehead by the hairline. I never had so much as a freckle there and this one appeared overnight, and looks totally different from anything else I have. It's tiny, but a little quick research (no I'm not an internet hypochondriac :) ) let me know that yes, I should follow my gut reaction and have my dermatologist take a look. I put off calling yesterday, so I will call today.
As for how I feel...my "big" clothes are getting tight, I always feel swollen and not just because it's summer) and my acid reflux is horrible.
And the part I need to come to terms with is that it's completely my fault. There are so many reasons I may have gotten derailed, but it's in the past and it doesn't excuse 2 years of looking the other way with an occasional week long jaunt to motivation land.
I've been eating what I wanted and too much of it while convincing myself it wasn't too bad. I've spent entirely too much of my time (I've been working only 2 days a week) sitting on the couch binge-watching netflix shows/movies. I have been buying far too many lattes, eating too many yummy breakfast sandwiches from the coffee shop and glazed scones. Not all meals were horrible which is why I guess I convinced myself I was doing okay, but a few healthy meals now and then, or occasional portion control does not come close to making up for all the damage I was doing 90% of the time.
I was hardly ever active. I started the spring off with early wakeups and walks and was feeling great but after a few weeks feel off the wagon with that. 2 weeks of travelling this summer didn't help, but wasn't horrible.
This is the hardest part. When you are out of shape and feeling like crap and so tired, to get your rear up and do something about it.
I have accepted a few hard truths...
*I must give up my beloved coffee, at least until I have lost a good amount of weight where the acid reflux might be better. I've been drinking tea, water, crystal light and milk - this is day 3. I think the coffee-withdrawl headaches are coming to an end.
*I must get up and move. So as not to overwhelm myself, My goal, until I gain more confidence, is 10 minutes a day. I will likely do more than that every day, but that is the goal.
*I will pay attention and not eat the foods that give me acid reflux. Someone at work gave my son some peanut m&m's yesterday - I ate 2. Immediate feeling of the reflux. No chocolate candy. I ate one bite of an oatmeal raisin cookie last night (i just made enough for my husband and son). I had a feeling it might cause AR but didn't know why (cinnamon?) and yep, it did. None of those. Tomato sauce also, that'll be the hard one. I'll try eating fresh tomatoes and see if that does it. I had bought a bag of jalapeno cheetos last week, I threw them out. I'm hoping I'll finally see the bigger picture of how things make my BODY feel, not just my tastebuds.
*I will limit netflix to one episode of a show or a movie. Most days hopefully won't watch any, but if I do, that's the limit. Bonus if I am on the treadmill when I watch it.
*I'm not thinking about the huge goal. I'm working to get back to where I was before I derailed. Slowly. So 50 lbs is my first large goal. I will make small goals along the way, keeping track of how much i've lost total, not just that week. I don't want to give up because I had a bad week, I want to see how far I've come.
*I'm getting my home/life organized again. That had gotten out of control too. Not like a hoarder or anything, just toys and old clothes I haven't dealt with, magazines I haven't read, emails I haven't deleted. I am making huge progress on that front right now.
One other change is that I was working two days a week and those days my preschool age son was going to daycare. His preschool class this year will be three mornings a week. For multiple reasons we have decided not to have him go to daycare those other two days like we used to. So I will be taking him to work with me (gotta love family businesses!) for just a few hours at a time. Which means the few hours I was working will be cut back. And all of my time other than when he's at preschool, will be spent with my son. That is, in a way, good, but also could be pretty stressful.
I kind of believe in synchronicity, things coming along at the right time. I used to do home parties for a company that, now that I'm older, wouldn't really feel comfortable with anymore. It was fun when I was in my low 20's :) But I ran into some people from the company recently and reminisced about how fun it was to do parties. Then I went to a Pampered Chef party last week and learned more about being a consultant for them. It felt like that came along at the right time for a reason, and with my hours being cut back the extra money would help even if I did 1 party a month. And it would get me some adult time as well, out of the house :)
So the plan there is to see how the new schedule works for a couple weeks (first week in Sept is when there is no more daycare and preschool starts too) and then decide if I want to go with it. I don't just want to jump in and add something else to my plate if I'm not ready. Since it would be evenings/weekends it should work perfectly with the things I want to accomplish for myself and around the house daily/weekly.
So that's pretty much where I'm at. I'm determined to live a healthy long active life. I'm starting to track foods again and trying to eat less carbs, more fresh foods. I'm working on getting into better healthier habits in all areas of my life and making sure to get physical (Oh, and meditate) daily. Making the healthy habits part of my morning and night routines. Even little stuff like getting the kitchen clean before bed so I don't wake up to a mess, or not being lazy and leaving makeup on because I stayed up to late and figure I'll wash my face in the morning - nope. Going to bed early, waking early. Taking the time to do things that actually make me feel good and happy. Not going to the coffee shop every day while my son is in school, maybe once a week, and get tea, not a latte, a healthy sandwich not the worst one. It will be a special thing, a reward maybe after a loss, not an every school day thing.
I want to make the most out of every opportunity, live life to the fullest, make wiser decisions. I don't want to sit back lazily and let life pass me by as I fade more and more. I want to show up for life vibrantly and with strength.
These are my baby steps, with much more to come.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Well spring has finally sprung around here. Last weekend we had a freak storm with accumulating hail but yesterday got up to 80! I didn't get outside much, but I had the windows open and did a bunch of cleaning. Nothing to exciting, but it was awesome in a simple way. I've been in such a funk lately. I was doing well with the spring challenge for a while and then the funk hit (my term for mild depression) and I just haven't been doing much. The house was a mess, I hadn't worked out, etc. Anyway, with the gorgeous weather the last few days I've been trying to pull myself back out of the funk and it's working.
Working on the house helped, the sunshine and fresh air helped. and just time as well. We didn't do anything exciting yesterday, but I did a bunch of cleaning with the windows open and took a nap and ate lunch outside.
I've been writing, at least that's one thing I've stuck with and am feeling good about. I decided to update my Twitter a little. I usually don't use it and when I first did I didn't know what to do with it, so I just followed a bunch of celebrities and news sites. Now I have deleted 99% of the celebrities, because really, is that worth my time and focus? so I just stuck with following some news and inspirational things, local businesses and writing centered stuff. Sounds silly but just simplifying that helped too. I have the tendency to want to absorb ALL information, always feeling like I'll miss out on something, and that never works well obviously, so just streamlining it a bit to what's most important so there's not SO much to get through when I check it, I feel much better. It's like when you throw away a bunch of useless crap out of your house. Spring cleaning in multiple forms :)
Anyway, I've started meditating again and feel in the mood to do yoga today, So I think when my son goes for nap time I'll do that. I find it impossible to do yoga in a worthwhile manner when there are any distractions, I just feel more stressed.
I'm also, again, getting off coffee. Not completely, but just getting past the caffeine addiction, the feeling of having to have it every day. judging by my headache yesterday it's working. today is day 3 with no coffee. I've been drinking water and I'm going to make some tea. I'll have a coffee tomorrow When i go to the coffee shop to write. Then wed and thurs, my work days, I was stopping and getting a coffee. Now I have huge cans of Arizona tea that I'll bring instead. They are much cheaper! .79 at the grocery store, .99 at the gas station. a latte is $3-4. :)
I started taking my vitamins again as well, I'd been slacking on those. So I'm slowly making more steps towards being focused on my health again.
Anyway, I could ramble forever about random stuff, but basically I'm doing what I can to get back with it. Taking baby steps. I'll try to update again in a few days :)
Hope everyone is well. Sorry for all of the typos, I don't feel like taking the time stressing over correcting everything :)
Saturday, February 15, 2014
I'm not in a blogging mood right now, but I'm making myself do it because I know it's good for me to stay in the habit, just like with exercise, etc.
Let's see, today was day 12 in a signing in to SP streak.
I have had a bit of a cold this week - lots of sinus pressure/pain which always makes me feel so tired! And when I feel tired I get lazy with putting in effort. I did still workout Thursday before work even though I was sick, though yesterday was a rest day and I did some cleaning and took a nap during the time I could have worked out, but I'm glad I did because I felt better afterwards. I also have been lazy with what I've been eating since I started feel crappy. Boo :( It hasn't been binge-ing or anything, but not making the healthiest choices. I did not weigh yesterday, I didn't want it to get me down.
Even though I would like to go back to bed, I'm going to work out in a couple. I'd like to do zumba because it' s a fantastic calorie burn, but since I feel kind of blah energy-wise I think I'll go walk on the treadmill and watch some tv on my nook (reading/tablet thingy for those that may not know :) while I'm walking. Then depending on how I feel and how much time I have I was thinking of doing a short strength workout on the new SP dvd I haven't tried yet.
BUT...I need to get my rear in gear! Ashton has a birthday party to go to this afternoon after lunch time so I need to get the workout in, shower and get ready, get him ready, wrap the present, eat lunch, etc. At least I got in my workout clothes right away this morning. Now I just need to get off the couch. Sooo sleepy...Nope, snap out of it, I'm going to lie to myself, tell myself I have tons of energy and feel great! I feel like a crazy person doing that, but you know what? It tends to work. Especially in the middle of a workout and I'm dragging and bored and want to get it done, I tell myself to snap out of it, plaster a smile on my face and tell myself I have tons of energy and it is fun - it actually makes the workout a little easier!
Okay, that's all I've got for now, hope everyone has a great weekend!!
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