Friday, August 05, 2011
OK, so I posted a strange status. And you're getting a "two-fer" blog while I explain something that happened in my brain.
Some of you know that I'm a Jenny Craig maintenance client. The program / contract I signed with them had a provision that if I was within five pounds (up or down) from my goal weight on their scale, one year after having attained it... I get half my sign-up fee back. Any of you who has ever paid the freight on one of these "premium" weight loss plans knows that half your sign up fee is a significant bonus.
When I weighed in last month, I was 7 pounds under my "goal" on their scale. And tomorrow is that one-year of maintenance weigh-in. And as I am a daily weigh-er, I know what I was on my own scale that morning, and this morning. I have not gained those two pounds in the intervening month.
My consultant at the JC center is on my side, and made the suggestion to make my weigh in appointment later in the day than usual and make sure to eat lunch right before, and be well hydrated. If this does not do the trick, I have another friend who has actually done the experiment: two rolls of quarters makes a pound on the scale. There are pockets in my jeans, folks.
Still, being a compulsive eater, I found myself at the grocery store tonight thinking of deliberate ways of eating to gain. This is the tricky bit... you'd think this would be an ideal spot to be in. It's not.
Standing there staring at the ice cream, NONE OF IT APPEALED TO ME! I envisioned myself eating the way I used to, the way I did almost daily to gain the weight in the first place... and I just said to myself, "I wouldn't enjoy it. I would be eating it for entirely the wrong reason. I'm not hungry for it, I'm not craving it... why would I put myself through that?"
I went to the chips aisle. And the same thing happened! I looked at my old favorites, sour cream and onion flavored chips, and caramel corn and cheese popcorn... and I found myself reading the labels and saying... nope, it just does not call to me tonight.
I did end up with two "treats" in my cart. Natural peanut butter. And a Mounds bar. Both of which I've indulged in: 2 tablespoons of the peanut butter, spread on a wheat tortilla for supper... it was heavenly and the whole Mounds bar for dessert! I am still in the same boat on the scale, fully clothed... I may just have to put those rolls of quarters in my pocket and call it good.
The real surprise (to me) is that at least for today... I'm eating like a naturally thin person: if I am not hungry for it, if it doesn't appeal... it's not going into my mouth. I'm worth more to me than that. And hopefully, that means, "I'll take both my money AND my life, thank you!"
Will update after the fact, and let you know what happened at the scale.
Life's good... Spark on!
Friday, August 05, 2011
I spent the first several decades of my life in denial about the connection between the physical world around me and my health. My behavior? Pshaw! Nothing to do with my weight. Certainly nothing to do with an illness!
You'd think it would be obvious: lilacs in bloom? Sneeze, drippy nose, headaches! Iris in the house? Similar.
When I first went on a serious weight loss program, a healthy one... it showed me the clear link of calories in/calories out. That was the basis for all further learning. It took a while even after that to bring in the "allergy" connection.
You might think I was really, really stupid or ignorant. What I was was religious. I was raised in a faith of pure idealism, where your thought / prayers controlled your physical health. It "seemed to work" for me as a child. What it really did was calm me and enable me to wait out whatever it was that ailed me. No drugs, no diagnoses... I lived to adulthood, married, even bore a child with this faith intact. Until I first lost the weight, I didn't have the recognition of the connection... I buried it deep.
Bottom line, I learned that the rules of the physical world work. No matter that my parents "exempted" me from biology for religious reasons. The rules work. I'm obviously blessed with a strong enough genetic makeup to have survived, and in fact some studies show that letting your kids eat dirt (to use a metaphor of my mom's) makes them stronger. However, now, as an "over 50", having shed the religion that encouraged me into denial... I pay more attention to what's going on around me when I start to see symptoms.
This week, I'm noticing things. The kittens have been here since last Friday after work. I have started to notice more sneezing and drippy nose, scratchy throat at times. Not as pronounced as my sister's (who swelled up in a matter of minutes). It has taken a more prolonged exposure. Not horribly severe to the point of taking my Zyrtek. I will have to observe for a while, because there are always multiple factors: weather fronts do things to me, too.
When I go to work, I'm fine there. I keep the kitties out of my bedroom (perhaps this was prescient on my part) and I wake up clear. I am washing my hands more (I always do when handling animals, this is not new).
Will I have to give them up? Unless things become markedly worse, no. But I will continue to alter my behavior. This much I have learned... "the rules work"... therefore, follow the rules.
Life's still good... Spark on!
Thursday, August 04, 2011
I'm not one to use superlatives when referring to my own life. Consequently, when I take surveys, I rarely pick the "all the time", "always", "never"... because once you've lived more than 20 years on the planet, chances are you have at least got to the point of "most of the time" or "often", "once in a while" or "rarely".
I followed a link from a workplace wellness site today that took me to a "strength" survey. I kind of rushed through it because it was before work... and then as I reviewed the results, I had to wonder if the self-identifying of characteristics one has demonstrated really is accurate. I mean, after all, I'm a compulsive eater... I know all about lying to myself! I wonder if something like a "strength" survey might be better answered by others who know me. My biggest strength came out as "open mindedness". I guess I'm relatively happy with that.
After work I went back and took a "happiness" survey at the same site. Same deal... the reluctance to answer in superlatives. I came out a 3.75 on a scale of 1 -5... by the things they asked about.
I couldn't help as I took the happiness survey wondering how I might have answered it two years ago. Or three? I distinctly remember the moment when I said to a counselor "I feel better about myself when..." and finished it "I work at diet and exercise." In short, out of my own mouth came the words that I just plain feel better when I nurture myself!
What about the rest of you? Do you value yourself more when you take care of your health? Or do you take better care of your health because you started to value yourself more?
Life's good... Spark on!
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Yesterday morning, driving to work, I wrote the best Spark blog in my head... and now I can't remember what it was! Not even the major theme.
I've often said that my Spark blogs are pretty much my pep talks to myself, to keep me on track for the day. In that sense, writing the blog in my head was as effective as typing it through the keyboard would have been. I had a good day, didn't freak out despite a day full of meetings, made sure I got my break walks in, ate according to plan, and topped off the day with my "one thing" items both before and after work. I classified it as a good day.
If you can have good days without blogging "physically", or if you can have good days without writing down / tracking your food / exercise minutes, that's great. Most of us CAN pull it off. Particularly when things have been going well for a while, and it is routine and habitual to make good choices.
But for many of us, it begins to deteriorate when we don't put it down on paper (or on line, via computer). Why? It's a little moment where temptation comes in, that voice that says, "just this once" or "no one's looking", or even my favorite this year, "majority rules". If writing the Spark blog in my head works for a day or two, that's fine... but as with tracking, I expect I'll come back and write "on paper" as a rule, with the "in my head" as an exception.
Because for me, it works. Use what works. Health is important. Remembering what is important requires diligence.
Life's good. Spark on!
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