Saturday, August 20, 2011
This is a pensive "good news / bad news" kind of entry this morning. Yesterday I felt really good about the doctor visit. We chatted about a number of things weight / fitness related... and words came out of my mouth that gave me a start. We were talking about runs and walks, that half-marathon, the 5K gold, and the upcoming mud run.
What I said was, "things are much easier now". Not that I have more energy, just that things seem easier. My brother (MOBYCARP) had mentioned that in one of his blogs earlier in the week, too. At this lower weight, lower than I had *ever* been since high school... things are just plain easier. When I give my body the right fuel, the right training... things are just plain easier.
This does not mean that it's easy to START or to GET here. It doesn't mean activity is impossible before arrival at goal. I ran 5K's 20 years ago about 20 pounds heavier and felt good about it... but it's easier now.
Some of this is attitude, confidence. Some of it is physiological... the heart beats efficiently, the muscles do their job in whatever context. It is that functional ability that readiness that I am maintaining. I love it. I worked for it. That's the merit side of things. But while being pleased and proud of that, I am also conscious that there are folks out there working just as hard and not necessarily seeing the same results.
Here's where grace comes in: Life's not always fair in these things. Some people have higher hills to climb. They may not be able to go out and run 5K's or walk half marathons or whatever. They may have a disease or an injury that modifies their life. BUT... treating their bodies with respect, loving themselves, working on attitude has to work for them too... the "easier" word applies to the comparison between not doing and doing the healthy things we all advocate: drinking water, eating the freggies, being active... consistently as possible, not demanding perfection. All people who are giving life their best shot have my admiration and respect! Because each and every one of us is worthy of reaching whatever level of "easier" we can get to.
On the bad news side in my personal life... same day as my good doctor visit, I got e-mail from my sister, the one who has ALWAYS been good about nutrition and exercise and taken good care of herself. We have always in our family been able to say, "no history of cancer". We can no longer say that. She found a lump, had it checked out, and yesterday she got the results. While her doctor said the good words, "small", "curable", "caught early"... and says they will have this cured by the time her next mammogram would normally have been, I'd still appreciate prayers from those so inclined.
Life is full, and life is good. Spark on!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Anybody else have a doctor born after you reached "adulthood"? I found out today that mine (who has been my doctor for six or seven years) was born AFTER I got out of high school, and still hasn't seen 40! He started sporting *braces* last year. And he still looks oh, so young. Yeah, he has three young children at home, he's a good family man, and has a great patient rapport. In short, I like my doctor.
And nothing made me happier than seeing his broad grin over my weight history, particularly over the past two years. BP is great. RHR is 42-43. Everybody asks me am I a runner when they take my pulse. We'll see how the blood work comes back, but in short, he sees me as healthy, and is real happy with HOW I lost the weight, not just THAT I lost it.
So, yeah, I was super pleased to hear him say, for the second year in a row, "You have made your doctor very happy and proud."
Well, Doctor, I have made ME pretty happy and proud, too. Now don't get cocky, Barb.
Life's good... Spark on!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Reminder to self: don't let kittens outside right before it starts to rain. They tend to hide under the deck and not want to come out to come in when the raindrops are falling.
On the plus side tonight... I got on the treadmill to prove to myself I can still do a 5K. My workouts had not been in that length recently! And I have this Mud Run coming up on the 27th. If anybody wants to see an old lady crawl in the mud... I can provide details. If my son comes to take pictures, no doubt I'll post them!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Life goes on. Self-nurture works. A good night's sleep. A nourishing breakfast (still experimenting with the grits about once a week... this morning it was with fresh strawberries and chocolate, cooked in skim milk... and it turned out pretty good). A little exercise. And my "one thing", which this morning included vacuuming the master bedroom and the upstairs hall.
Why "one thing"? Besides of course dealing with the sense of being overwhelmed? It had its roots in wanting to have more free time on weekends, and not feel overwhelmed by my endless to do list which was causing me to toss in the towel at the beginning of Saturday!
Problem solving: I pondered back over the years when my son was young. How *did* we do all that we had to do to support a growing child with sports and school and all that? Well, we *used* the work days. Before and after work, there were things that we did that constituted living. School projects, transport to games, all that goes with it. Cooking meals, bedtime rituals, conversations with the family over a TV show, dish washing (we did not have a machine)... it all somehow happened. Yes, clutter built up, it was not always smooth... but we were a family and we lived life. Every day, not just on weekends.
A lot of that changed over time, particularly since I became a true "empty nester". Since I had infinite time (so goes the thought)... things could be put off for later. Then the weekend would get here, and there would be this huge pile of uncompleted tasks that keep a house going... and just me. Why do them at all?
It dawned on me, post-weight loss, during maintenance, that I needed to start living *every day* again. Enter the "one thing" concept... something my stress-cleaning sister had dropping in a conversation some holiday or other. She had read about it somewhere, and she practices it. HER home is almost always at least close to ready for an impromptu gathering.
Never mind that she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert: she has choices! She can say yes or no, based on whether she wants company, not on whether her home is in order!
So... that's the story behind my motivation: I want to be able to have that choice... and when the weekend gets here, if my "one things" have the house pretty much there, guess what? I have time to play AND a clear conscience to go with it!
Life's good. Spark on!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
and wisdom to know the difference.
This is a boundaries thing, and a heartstrings thing. How many of us are carrying more than our physical size around? Burdens of wanting to run the rest of the human race, or more likely, a selected few of them? Preserve me from trying to run the lives of others!
I am bracing myself for the next year and a half or two years. Practicing my tongue-biting skills. I am taking deep breaths and planning how I have to not give up fitness and nutrition because I will need strength to get through this. Regaining and carrying extra pounds will NOT help it. Losing fitness will NOT help it. Making myself ill by neglecting myself will NOT help it.
Last night in an IM conversation my son broke news that I had been semi-anticipating. He had previously foreshadowed that this was a possibility. His next "business trip" is a go. He starts pre-trip training next February. He has time to get one more University semester in before he goes. Then he will be gone and I will have to support his mission by handling things on his behalf, and his wife and I will once again be asked to look after one another for a year of his absence.
These things add mega-stress... I lost most of my weight while he was gone. I have maintained for a year with him back. Maybe this time I'll be able to lose the clutter from the house? My older sister is a stress cleaner. I was a stress eater, but some levels of stress are beyond what food will help. And I chose exercise and self-nurture as my stress management system.
Breathe deep: living in and of itself is a good thing! Taking care of oneself, physically, mentally, and emotionally is essential. I'm counting this as a new ... of I don't know how many, but each of them counts!
Keep praying, and Spark on!
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