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ONEKIDSMOM's Recent Blog Entries

Blogging: journaling with benefits

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Blogging is an interesting exercise. It is a personal journey, taken somewhat publicly. The writer controls what goes in to each entry, and most of what I journal (blog) about is "me", my life, how I'm coping with what comes down the pike. This helps keep me on track.

There is a benefit to being public (within the semi-sheltered scope of Spark People). It opens one up to the comments of others, which could include criticism, advice or comparison... and that can shake up one's world view.

I am a believer in allowing the help I get to come from whatever source happens along. I take the comments / advice / experience of my Spark buddies seriously, because like a step meeting where one shares experience, strength and hope... that's what comes across in the comments. I am most deeply grateful for all the comments on yesterday's blog about the unstructured time / fatigue "pattern" I deal with.

I have been given a wide selection of things to ponder and assimilate. Thank you.

Life's good. Spark on!

Oh, oh... and fellow maintainers, have you seen? Spark has introduced a whole selection of new tickers to choose from, including: ta-da... a maintenance range ticker! I'm trying it out. It doesn't show the loss, though, so I may switch back at some point, because I like to encourage others who may have a similar large mountain to lose.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYWBL 9/7/2011 7:26PM

    Good to know! I'm nowhere near maintenance tho!

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_LINDA 9/7/2011 10:51AM

    I have always appreciated the help and support I get from my Spark buddies on this website. I also feel I have had a lot of experience dealing with health and nutrition and can dole out at times some useful tidbits! Thanks for the info on the tickers! I stopped using it because I was on maintenance. But that is a good idea to stay with it just to show how much you have lost as an inspiration to others.
If you don't let people know you have a problem, you can't get advice or help with it..
Blogging really does help people on here..

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DEBRITA01 9/7/2011 10:44AM

    Blogging can be beneficial to the blogger...and to those who read it. We can all learn from each others' experiences and insight. Thanks for sharing yours... emoticon

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ARLENE_MOVES 9/7/2011 10:10AM

    I too love getting support, good or bad, from fellow Sparkers. I have enjoyed all of your blogs and the comments on them. You are a very interesting person -- thanks for sharing you with us!!!

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KALIGIRL 9/7/2011 8:56AM

    So true - part of the gratitude cycle is getting back what we send out
(I personally believe we get more back...) emoticon

Thanks for the info on the maintenance tools - will check it out.
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KARIDIAN1 9/7/2011 8:49AM

    Thanks for the tip on the tickers. especially the maintenance ones for when i reach that goal.

Have a great Wednesday!

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MSLZZY 9/7/2011 8:11AM

    All the advice and comments by other SParkers is indeed helpful and blogging adds a
different dimension as to how we should view our successes and failures.
I'm checking out the new feature today. What a great idea!
Have a wonderful Wednesday!

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Emotions, structure and why retirement scares me.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

This morning I read a Spark Article that purported to tell one how to avoid weekend over eating. It talked about celebration eating and social eating. What it didn't talk about was fatigued eating, anxiety eating, unstructured time eating.

Honestly, I do worse with emotional eating when I'm home alone. Especially on those days when I have "loose" plans, i.e. I'm waiting for a phone call from my son and I have no idea if/when he will call or what our final plans will end up being. Yesterday was such a day. I was tired, woke at the usual time, got up, and kind of walked around in a fog until about 1 p.m. Did a little yard work, but was deliberately trying to have a restful day, all the time trying to conserve energy for whatever he would want to do, even just dropping over for coffee.

At this point I took a nap... my son probably was getting up about that time. This is a danger time zone for me... I'm tired, he's energetic. But he didn't call. When I got up from my nap at 2, the grazing started. It didn't stop until around 7 p.m. And he never called. I was still fatigued, and went to bed on time, and slept in this morning, making me wonder how much of my over-indulgence yesterday was self-sedating with food, i.e. fatigue related.

What bothers me most is that this is a pattern. I know I need the "down" days to recharge my batteries, but I'm reluctant to admit to the anxiety that the lack of structure, anticipation of needing to expend more energy brings. Which is why retirement scares me: having no plans is not good for me. But having too many is also not good.

I hope someday I figure it out. For now, it's virtual Monday. Structure and work return. Next weekend I have an athletic outing planned. But emotionally, I'm disappointed in me and my seeming inability to change this pattern. I'm living with it for now, I know how to recover from it. But retirement scares me, and it's only a decade away.

emoticon of a new effort. Spark on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASEYCOFF 9/9/2011 3:52AM

    I'm not sure I view retirement as such any differently from any other stage of life: it's all about balance, and moderation, and good choices. If you lay the groundwork now, experimenting with ways to spend the 'downtime days,' you will be better prepared for retirement.

What engages your interest? What do you find relaxing? What makes you restless? Bored? Energized? Refreshed?

Trying some new things during this approaching-end-of-professional-lif
e will help you find rewarding activities that will fill those niches - fitness, learning, interests, discoveries - that can be so rewarding.
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PATRISNA 9/8/2011 2:54PM

    I liked LJ Cannon's, Mobycarp's, and Sunnywbl's comments the best. I always learn something about you (and often myself) from reading your blogs. I always read the comments and really appreciate them.





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SUNNYWBL 9/8/2011 12:01PM

    All of the replies addressed the question, "What to do while waiting for a call that may not come."

1. If he never calls before 'x' o'clock, there is time to plan something or somethings to do to keep you busy and that you have time to finish or put down to finish later.

2. He needs to have guidelines as to the hours he may call you. As much as you love him, it is rude or thoughtless, etc to have to be available any time he might or might not call. (At least it is only 1 day a week!)

It is much like years ago when I was waiting (hoping) for a 'certain man to call. It caused many days of angst. I finally decided I would get on with my life. If or when he called I was busy, tired, whatever I would say ,"Oh, it's a shame you didn't call earlier, I would have loved to do that, but not now 'cause I just now made plans with___. Can we plan ahead to do it on _____?

Is that something to try with your son? Just a thought.

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GOSPELCLOWN 9/8/2011 10:54AM

    I'm a list maker. I have two days off that are not shared by my spouse... so my weekend is lonely.
I have an exercise listed, a sewing project to work, usually a grocery store trip etc. It keeps me from grazing uncontrollably.

Good blog!

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BESTSUSIEYET 9/8/2011 10:30AM

    You are not alone in this type of struggle. I gotta say, I LOVE Mobycarp's advice! I'm sure i can't improve on it! Good luck next time!

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KATIE33MAHALA 9/7/2011 9:23PM

    MOBYCARP is so right on, and trust me, you might be at odds the first couple of wks, when you retire, but you will find many things to do, and eating wont be one of them. You will love it, and wish you could have done it sooner, so stop stressing over something that isn't as of yet, things will fall in place. You have a lot of energy, so once you know, your done at work, your mind will then be in auto, you will make a new path, and at a slower relaxing pace, sigh...ah... smell the roses... the Lord will give you many beautiful days!

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MOBYCARP 9/7/2011 6:53PM

    Perhaps you need to approach this from a systems analysis perspective.

Goal: Create structure for a weekend day.
Constraint: Need to be available for a phone call that may or may not happen, but will be the most important thing in the day if it does happen.

This sounds a bit like being on call for work, except you hope to get the call instead of hoping not to get the call. The idea isn't to spend the whole day just waiting (and nibbling), but to find something to do that fits three criteria:

a) It's worth doing, and will fill the day if the call doesn't arrive.
b) It leaves you available to take the call at any point in time.
c) It can be interrupted at any point in time, and returned to when the more important activities have concluded.

"Just waiting" is the easy answer that fits criteria b) and c), but you really want something that also fits criterion a).

Of course, you get to decide what "worth doing" means. If you decide that watching a day of Big Brother reruns fits the bill, nobody gets to tell you differently.

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OVERWORKEDJANET 9/7/2011 5:15AM

    I have a bunch of lost days like that. The more I wait for someone, the more I snack. I've decided to structure my days, even if it's to do nothing. That way I'll build in some "play solitaire time" without adding cheese and crackers.

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_LINDA 9/7/2011 2:23AM

    LJCannon hit it on the head. Make a list of things to do on your time off (fun things too) and do them until such time as you son calls (sorry he didn't) This way you aren't nervously wondering when he will call (when the snack monster is strongest), but are busy until he does. This way your whole day is not wasted. I know if I am waiting on something, I quickly get frustrated and anxious and it can lead to a binge if I don't find something to do to take my mind off it pronto.
Good luck with it!!

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SLENDERELLA61 9/6/2011 8:35PM

    I retired end of June. I love it!! Of course, I provide full time child care for my granddaughters so it is not like my hours are empty. I find having more time to plan, to cook, and to exercise more than compensate for the bored and tired eating that I occasionally fall into. I love having less stress. I love not having to go to work after a bad night's sleep. I have many, many plans for retirement, and I've only just begun.

Whether you decide to retire or not, a healthy lifestyle is a choice you can make. Working has some advantages, but not working has at least as many! Hope you make a decision that is just right for you!! -Marsha

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WATERMELLEN 9/6/2011 7:37PM

    I watched my father be "retired" for 30 years and . . . . frankly, he made it look pretty unattractive. So too do many of my former colleagues (from my teaching years) who are now all retired. Mostly doing not much. We don't have mandatory retirement in Ontario anymore for employees. But I deliberately chose, even before that legislative change, to become self-employed so that I could determine how long I wanted to work: and right now, I'm not contemplating retirement at all, for many of the reasons you describe!!

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DEBRITA01 9/6/2011 6:33PM

    I retired from teaching and after a few months decided to work a couple days a week for some structure. I have a really flexible job that is low-stress (because I don't let it) and it allows me to meet some interesting people. I thought I would like to be home and free, but now I have the best of both worlds. Once you retire, you will find lots of things to fill your day...if not, consider volunteer work or a part-time position doing something that you enjoy.

Emotional eating gets the best of all of us sometimes...That was yesterday and today you are on to a new day! Dust yourself off and carry on as you have been...you're doing great! emoticon

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BUGGYS 9/6/2011 3:27PM

    I need structure in my life and know where my danger zones are when I'm tired, stressed out, or unscheduled time. I used to run a daycare and was "on" from 7 until 6 every day. I have retired from the everyday of watching kids for money but now I'm watching my grand kids 4 days a week. The reason I love it so is that I have my routine back and know what the day will bring. When I had my summer off, although I loved doing what I wanted, when I wanted, my eating wasn't great because I seemed to do more grazing. I'm working on finding that balance...

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ANDI571 9/6/2011 2:09PM

    Being alone, anxiety and emotional eating. I have them all. It just takes determination and attitude, which I know you have. You wouldn't be where you are if you didn't. When my husband retired, we started eating totally wrong. The pizza bar at Pizza Hut became a regular event. When he went back to work full time, it gave me a chance to reflect and get back to where I needed to be. I still have trouble with the grazing when I am alone, and some days are better than others, but it can be done. You are already half way there just knowing what can happen. Have a plan in place, and I know you will do fine.

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DEBRA0818 9/6/2011 11:58AM

    Retirement seems different to me than long weekends or taking time off from work. After a transitional period where I felt guilty because I wasn't doing enough and another where I wondered what my worth was if I wasn't making money, I've settled into a domestic routine that is very satisfying to me and very beneficial to my marriage (only one of us is stressed out by work). But I totally relate to what you say about unstructured time (also feeling hurt because a hoped for phone call did not materialize). It's a better day today.

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BARBAELLEN 9/6/2011 11:38AM

    I've retired twice, most recently six months ago. My fear is not retiring, it's more a fear of getting lured back into working. I tend to turn into totally "Type A" when I take on projects, and my time ceases to become my own. I'm loving not having permanent commitments, and I'm finding that I structure my eating and exercising much better when it's my own time, without deadlines, meetings, "crises", etc.. I always hear people say "I wonder how I ever found the time to work" and it's true. There's no shortage of things to keep you involved, and the advantage is that you get to determine the structure of your time.

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WORDLILY 9/6/2011 9:39AM

    I don't do well with those nothing-planned days sometimes, either. It's not just work that adds structure to a schedule, though; structure can come from any number of sources and can be self-imposed. I have confidence that you'll find the right balance for you (between structure and down time).

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KALIGIRL 9/6/2011 9:33AM

    I agree and am recovering from one of those 'too much' yet unstructured weekends.
It is so much easier for me to stay on track when I follow the schedule a workday provides - makes me wonder if I shouldn't do the same for the weekends?
Namaste my friend.

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LJCANNON 9/6/2011 9:21AM

    You have identified the problem and acknowledged it. It looks to me like you are only One Step away from Solving It. emoticon
Maybe you need to 'structure' your down time? Make a schedule for your "Rest" days and then stick to it, just like you do with your Workouts or your Job.

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SUNNY332 9/6/2011 8:47AM

    I am not adjusting to retirement very well at all. I do so much better with structure. I am seriously thinking of going back to work part time after our upcoming trip.

A good friend said she would go back to work but doesn't want her lack of structure interfered with. She is happy not to have the structure. I, on the other hand, find it difficult. It seems to me I should be doing something.

We shall see what the future brings.

Sunny



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There is something about a lapful of cat

Monday, September 05, 2011

I'm typing with a lapful of purr. The smaller kitty, Patches, has decided on this chilly morning to warm my lap. When I first came downstairs and sat on the couch, I had two of them draped all over me. When you just relax into the experience, this is so totally calming.

As I predicted from observing their young personalities, she's turning into more of an indoor kitty than he. The Prisoner is the mighty jungle cat, and loves the great outdoors. Patches is more likely to go out, sniff around the deck, then ask to come back inside. Both have captured my heart completely in the few weeks they have lived here.

I've been out this morning to do my "one thing" which is continuing to work on the volunteer trees around the front of the house. It's going slowly, as my "one thing" efforts are time-boxed, but progress is visible.

Today is dedicated to recharging my batteries. I may go for a long walk later. But essentially, the plan is for it to be a quiet day: I have the dentist tomorrow morning, a big work push that will spread over the next six weeks or so, and week after next my sister's follow up radiation treatment. While I'll only be on tap to take her to the one little surgical procedure, it's on my mind... as it would be on anyone's.

Next Sunday is the 5 mile Buffalo Run. It is held in a big park, and the terrain is hilly. I'm trying to listen carefully to my knees in consideration of things like: will I walk the distance, or attempt a partial jogging pace? Five miles is longer than my normal 5K outings, the past two of which I didn't even run the whole distance. I think I'm more concerned about the potential damage to my joints if I overdo than anything else. This is for fun, and to get a baseline time for the distance.

2011 has been an "interesting" year so far. It has been the year of athletic outings, and I'm looking both backward in time and forward, trying to see what is the right balance of these events and what is the right mindset for them, to keep maintaining fitness for the rest of my life.

Meantime, a lapful of purr should help me relax into the plan, and recharge those batteries.

Life's good... Spark on! emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRISNA 9/8/2011 3:10PM

    Sigh...I miss my cats. Maggie used to do that very thing suddenly appearing in my lap as if by magic. Lapful of cat... there is nothing else like it.


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KASEYCOFF 9/6/2011 3:51PM

    I miss having a cat around, or even a small dog. Maybe some day...

Wishing you all the best for the 5-mile. I know it's not double your usual, but you're right, it will be around half-again your 5K, if I did the math correctly!
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KARIDIAN1 9/5/2011 8:12PM

    Wish I had a lap full of kitties. I still miss mine after all these years. Hubby isn't a cat person much.

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SUNNY332 9/5/2011 3:04PM

    I would definitely have a lap full of cat if Gracie got on my lap. She is 22#'s plus - a very full lap cat indeed.

Do have a great day.

Sunny

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_LINDA 9/5/2011 11:28AM

    I do have to admit, that sounds so peaceful! My Mom's cat isn't much of a lap cat. She is too independent and doesn't like being held.. Its why I still think dogs rule, they are up for fun or cuddling anytime anywhere :)
Good for you getting after the volunteer trees, they can really get out of hand. My Mom and step dad are stuck with this volunteer crab tree that constantly rains down apples on their walk and shed, but they can't do anything about it as its their neighbour's tree on their side of the border. Their neighbors never do any yard work and everything is allowed to grow wild. They just mow their lawn and that is it. The women complains about hand pain and is unable to do anything, but she sure can play her golf at a near professional level. Seems to me she needs this one thing program too.
Wishing all the best for your sister...

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Sisters

Sunday, September 04, 2011

I'm currently reading a novel written by one of the women I work with, Delores Feeken-Schmidt. It is her first publishing, and it is a tale of three sisters and their mother, titled Isabel's Journey. I have found myself pondering about my own relationship with my sisters while reading it. Sisters are wonderful to have (brothers, too).

For those of you who have been praying with me about my older sister's breast cancer, an update: I went with her to an appointment on Friday. I'll also go with her to the hospital for preparation for her course of radiation treatment, week after next. This is the kind of cancer that responds well to the hormone blocker pill treatment. We are grateful for the prayers, and continue to pray for guidance for her in the decisions she has to make, for the doctors in their advising, and for working out the insurance and finances.

On a lighter note, one of the fun portions of my Labor Day weekend: I'm once again trekking up to the state park for the new Fall Mellodrama offering, The Troll of Trafalgar. In this short play, my brother in law plays the villian. Yes, once again I get to toss popcorn at my inlaw! I'm driving up with his wife (another of my sisters) and their daughter. It is a gorgeous day here, and I even got a bit of yardwork done as part of my "one thing" initiative this morning. Provided we all have the energy after the play, we might just meander around the park a bit on foot.

The cats are full of themselves in this cooler weather. For that matter, I have a pair of Spark kitties:




Going to have to get more outdoor shots of them, but they do tend to hide in the foliage, so it is harder to get a good photo. Life's good, Spark On! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAJOYWK 9/6/2011 6:17AM

    UI am an only child,but not sisterless-I have a friend I consider a sister! Prayers for
yours!

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_LINDA 9/5/2011 9:39AM

    So glad you can be with your sister every step of the way during this traumatic diagnosis..May it all work out successfully. I trust you are geting regular checkups yourself for breast cancer as when you have a close relative diagnosed, your risk for getting it as well is increased.. Enjoy your play, hope you can enjoy the park after on such a nice day. Its nice here too, and I plan to get a long hike in :)

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KASEYCOFF 9/5/2011 6:13AM

    Oho, not the big screen but treading the boards--! And I agree, it's always fun when you actually know one of the people involved. Enjoy!
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LEANJEAN6 9/4/2011 6:43PM

    Wow! Your sister is fortunate to have yu! ---Hope you enjoy the play--and your kittens are cute!--Lynda

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 9/4/2011 6:34PM

    So glad that you will be able to be with your sister, My prayers go out for her and for you and your families.

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SAMI199 9/4/2011 6:26PM

    emoticon

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KARIDIAN1 9/4/2011 6:21PM

    It's nice you can be there for your sister during all her treatments. Keep posting the pdates so we know she is doing.

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BARBAELLEN 9/4/2011 5:38PM

    I am also so glad I have my sisters. When we were kids, I thought they were the most obnoxious creatures god had ever put on earth. The only thing they were good for was for company when absolutely nobody else was available. Who'd have thought these creatures would have grown up to be such fun and supportive people! I love having sisters!

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WATERMELLEN 9/4/2011 5:24PM

    Sisters are wonderful: my sister and I went through cancer together and . . . yeah. What a support system that was!!

Sounds like your sister is well on the path to recovery. We get earlier diagnosis now: the treatment is not much fun but . . . it works.

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ANDI571 9/4/2011 1:57PM

    emoticon Lots of hugs and prayers for your sister. I have two older brothers, but have always been close to my sister-in-laws. Shh! I always liked being the only girl. emoticon

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Bonus blog... in which I declare myself *still* a genuine Army mom!

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Yes, it's that time again... a holiday weekend. I'm trying to live up to my promise to myself from last November, and this was one of those designated dates.

Original goal post: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3767570


This morning I *passed* the Army Physical Fitness Test for females in my age range for the second time. Not as high a score as on July 2nd, but passed all three sections.

* I did 28 pushups, score = 100 (max). emoticon
* I did 29 situps, score = 62 (barely passing, but this has been my trouble area, so I'll take it!) emoticon
* I covered 2 miles in 20 minutes and 44 seconds, score = 91. emoticon

Combined score 253, which I'll take. Next target test date? Veteran's Day!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 9/5/2011 11:33AM

    Well done! That is interesting you have an easier time with push ups then sit ups! usually for women its the other way around! You must be very strong, do a lot of lifting or heavy work, or just plain lucky?
You go girl!!
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MS.ELENI 9/4/2011 9:37AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PHEBESS 9/4/2011 8:22AM

    Good job!

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KASEYCOFF 9/4/2011 3:18AM

    Barb, that's fantastic--!!! I love the way you quietly go about progressing and developing good health - what an inspiration you are!
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GOHUSKERS2 9/4/2011 12:49AM

    Way to go!!!! I fainted when I read 28 pushups.

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WATERMELLEN 9/3/2011 10:58PM

    OK, is anyone singing "You're in the Army now"???

That's fantastic!!

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KARIDIAN1 9/3/2011 9:32PM

    That sounds like a neat way to test your fitness. Thanks for the idea. Will check into it.

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BARBAELLEN 9/3/2011 8:16PM

    Barb, you are too much! You are taking such good care of yourself are a constant reminder about why staying on course really makes a difference. Thanks!
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DEBRA0818 9/3/2011 5:41PM

    Congratulations Barb on keeping fit over the year; you've truly developed a lifestyle and a wonderful encouragement to those of us admiring you from a distance.

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SUNNY332 9/3/2011 3:10PM

    Awesome, way to go my friend.

You are such an inspiration.

Sunny

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MOBYCARP 9/3/2011 2:57PM

    emoticon emoticon
You're giving new meaning to the term, "maintaning."

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WORDLILY 9/3/2011 2:01PM

    Sounds pretty good from here! :D

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