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The love/hate relationship with seasons

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Yesterday afternoon I was treated to a visit from my son. I had whined at him over Instant Messaging that I was having mommy withdrawal symptoms, and since he was studying for exams this upcoming week, offered an ear for him to natter about what he's learning and postulating in his college courses. I miss that, you see. Remember helping your kids with spelling or math facts or science projects?

He brought over his used wireless router, and it was a breeze to set up so I can now take the laptop to other rooms if I want! Woo-hoo. Then we went out for a walk. He demonstrated that he can now actually use his thumb in a squeeze action on the "bad" hand... he goes back in to have its progress checked this week, too. He played with the kitties a bit and talked while I did a few of my "one thing" items... pulled a few weeds, loaded the dishwasher... and in general got my "mom fix". OK, so the hugs are a bit on the light side when he's got a bad wing, but I got 'em.

Two weeks ago I thought the Fall allergy season was beginning... now I feel like it is at it's height. My sinus passages are blocked up, my head's been pounding all day. Took some Advil and went back to bed for half the day. When I got up again the sun was warm and shining, and I went out for a walk. My head still hurts. My sinus still looks puffy in the mirror. But that doesn't mean it's not a beautiful day.

May the extra rest and the memory of son fix get me through the week!

Life's good, Spark On! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 9/27/2011 12:26AM

    I love that mommy withdrawal comment... exactly the feeling and I will use it a lot (although in swedish...)

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KALIGIRL 9/26/2011 12:52PM

    Sending soothing sinus thoughts...
It's amazing how something so glorious as fall has hidden pollutants in its formula...
Glad you got your 'mom-fix' and sorry I've been MIA - things 'should' slow down by the end of the month...

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BUGGYS 9/26/2011 7:36AM

    Whenever I have a computer/electronic problem, both my sons are on speed even my 8 year old granddaughter could probably fix all my computer problems!!! emoticon I have never experienced allergies but my DH struggles with the fall...hope you're feeling better!!! emoticon

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BETTAPRINCESS 9/26/2011 12:34AM

    I know how you feel visits from my son always feels good. He stopped by today and took his Grandmother and i grocery shopping. emoticon

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_LINDA 9/26/2011 12:31AM

    Glad you had some bright spots to your weekend. Been inhaling my Nasonex, and it keeps some at bay, but still feel that old familiar water running up the back of my nose :( Maybe you need some allergy medicine to take care of the sinus so it won't bother your head..Feel better soon!

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MSLZZY 9/25/2011 11:06PM

    The good outweighs the bad. a mommy fix, a computer fix and quality time outside. Hope the allergies back off and let you enjoy the new season. HUGS!

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WATERMELLEN 9/25/2011 10:55PM

    Your son sounds like a total sweetie AND a genius at the computer stuff too (I'm missing mine, who's gone back to school far far away from us here . . . and my daughter too, sob sob. Thank goodness for email but it's not the same).

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KARIDIAN1 9/25/2011 10:04PM

    Glad you were able to spend some "Mom" time with your son. Hope your allergies get better when you get a freeze.

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DEBRITA01 9/25/2011 6:36PM

    Feel better...I can relate (one of my least favorite things about fall...allergies) emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/25/2011 6:36:30 PM

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ANDI571 9/25/2011 5:07PM

    emoticon Couldn't find a box of kleenexes anywhere on here, so I am sending a hug instead.

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The secret of blogging through everything...

Saturday, September 24, 2011

is the same as the phenomenon of physics that the experiment and the mind-set of the obsesrver can influence the result. When I blog about the rough patches, it tends to influence me to do better the next day. And as scared as I might be of those times of "I don't care!" rebellion, when I write about them, I generally end up finding the part of me that *does* care!

In any case, Friday was a much better day... back on track... and this morning I gave myself permission to sleep in, but didn't much, because I am still, despite all kinds of things, a morning person. I'm a little stuffy with the Fall allergies, and it pays to get vertical in the morning, even if it means I get drowsy and take an afternoon nap.

I've been out to run errands this morning. Sat through a webinar on some budgeting software I'm considering switching to. One of my bigger problems with switching is the history I've built up over the years in another tool. But this one makes more sense, is more integrated with planning. And I like that. The money diet metaphor works well for a veteran Sparker, just as Spark tracking works well for a veteran budgeter!

Life's good... Spark on! Here's wishing a great weekend to all. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 9/25/2011 2:01AM

    I am not ther yet but... nice blog!

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_LINDA 9/25/2011 12:37AM

    So understand the morning person concept and stuffy nose allergies. The 'fluffies' ae flying everywhere in the air here and I have been waking up stuffed the last two days.
Its great that you got back on track and blogging also holds you accountable as your Spark buddies will be here to watch over you..
Hope this new program is all you thought it might be. Hate the thought of all the data entry you would have to do to start it up. There is no reason to delete the old program, you can always keep it for reference if you want to look up something.. Good luck with it!
Enjoy your Sunday and allow yourself some fun and relaxation!

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MSLZZY 9/24/2011 11:10PM

    I'd like to know what program that is. HUGS!

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SUNNY1432 9/24/2011 9:25PM

    I hope you have a great weekend and that the allergies dissipate for a little while. emoticon

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WATERMELLEN 9/24/2011 6:50PM

    I try to remind myself that although I don't care right now . . . I'm going to care a whole lot tomorrow, or the next time I step on the scales (if weight related: there are, of course, an infinite number of things to "not care about"!!)

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DEBRA0818 9/24/2011 3:36PM

    I'm so glad you worked it out Barb and in the greatest way possible -- through acceptance and perseverance. Those times when we "don't care" are necessary fuel for all the times we do.


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Free-floating anxiety and binge eating

Friday, September 23, 2011

I promised myself I was going to blog my way through everything, honestly... even through the regain if it happens. Because we all love to share to triumphs! But we tend to want to hide when we're falling apart.

I don't know what exactly started last night's episode of carb-seeking. Except of course for work anxiety and worry. And sleep deprivation. And not wanting to examine it too deeply. I had a scary evening, where I kept going back for "one more"... tortilla, lo-cal treat, bowl of cereal... whatever, all carbohydrate based. Thank goodness I don't keep anything too decadent in the house. But a large enough volume of even "healthier" options will kill you.

It was really the "I don't care" attitude that scared me the most. The "what does it matter?" The feeling sorry for myself and that the work pressure won't let up. As I have mused before and have to keep reminding myself: these are feelings. Not necessarily reality.

Was I doing myself any favors? In a warped way, yeah... I slept better! In other ways, no. This morning I slept a little later than usual. This morning I am a little fuzzy-brained, nauseated, stuffed up... and I'm thinking it's probably due to that behavior. Today? Different choices... and that, my friends, is the nature of the beast... whatever happens, we have a fresh chance to make a different choice.

To today! One day, one decision at a time. To sharp thinking, and good decisions. And inner peace. emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIKI0531 9/27/2011 10:51PM

    Sunday was a bad day for me - definitely an "I don't care" day - and it was very scary. My heart was actually racing ... lol. It sounds insane - but I think I almost got a high from it. I was alone and no one knew I was straying from my healthy choices.

So disappointed in myself by the end of the day.
But the next day I started anew.

Thanks for sharing.

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MEDDYPEDDY 9/25/2011 2:04AM

    You have come such a long way... I totally agree on that scariness of "I donīt care" thanks!

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MSLZZY 9/24/2011 12:49AM

    Yes, life happens and the snacking can slow you down but sometimes, we need to treat
ourselves kinder. Making better choices today is a plus. You can do it!

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FIT-AT-50 9/23/2011 9:17PM

    Thanks for the honesty. Those of us who are long-term maintainers will have slips just like we did in the old days. I really believe that honesty helps hold you accountable.

You are an inspiration to me and have been for a very long time. I do hope that your work situation eases soon -- I hate to hear that you're dealing with so much stress.

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MOBYCARP 9/23/2011 6:43PM

    Stress and negative emotions are part of life. How you deal with them is a matter of personal choice. Perhaps you aren't happy with how you coped, this time; but there will be another time, and an opportunity to cope in a way that you will be happier with.

OTOH, you did a great job of preparing your environment to limit the damage of this type of event. You might not have done as well as you would have liked, but you did better than you did in the past. This is progress.


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TURTLETALK 9/23/2011 1:02PM

    I am really proud of you for blogging the bad as well as the good. Hope you have a better day today!

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DEBRA0818 9/23/2011 11:16AM

    I think this happens regularly to almost everyone -- a bad day, special occasion, hard emotion sends us seeking instant comfort in the old ways. It's just that when you've lost a lot of weight, it feels really scary. But it's probably just as normal as eating right and exercising the rest of the time.

emoticon emoticon

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46SHADOW 9/23/2011 8:41AM

    I think its all about going back to a healthy lifestyle after a bad night/week/month. I think thats a secret of success. So good for you for forgiving yourself and moving forward. Sleep deprivation is nasty and can start a nasty circle. hope this week end brings peace and lots of zzzzzzzz's. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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_LINDA 9/23/2011 8:31AM

    So sorry to hear your work is creating such stress :(( Is there any way for you to lighten your load, get someone else to do some things? Bring it to the attention of higher ups there are not enough hours in a day to get the tasks completed?
As an old master at sleep deprivation, I feel for you. In my class of living with chronic conditions, they are touting meditation, proper breathing and relaxation techniques to help calm the stress monster. Several people tried the techniques in our book and said it really helped and planned to make it a daily part of their routine..
It sounds like you need to calm your mind and dump your worries before you sleep.
Tightening, the relaxing one body part at a time starting with your feet and working your way up to your head may help you relax enough to meditate and lcear your mind before attempting to sleep..
Have a fantastic Friday and enjoy a restful weekend!

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COOKWITHME65 9/23/2011 8:28AM

    One decision at a time. I love that. Wishing you an emoticon day!

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KARIDIAN1 9/23/2011 8:20AM

    Today is a fresh new day. Make it a good one!

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Thursday, September 22, 2011

I found the MS Office package tucked on a bookshelf behind several journals. Woo-hoo! Got that one installed. Managed to find the way to download my virus protection package that I subscribed to for three machines... to both the new laptop and the older back up machine. Woo-hoo #2! Bit by bit, I'll get there.

So what do I need to support my maintenance today? The usual things, of course: lunch packed, steel cut oats a-simmer... remember to take those stress-busting break walks at work. And don't spend TOO much time with the new little machine! Even though it's a terrific tool, it's not the whole world.

Life's good... Spark on! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUGGYS 9/23/2011 7:39AM

    I agree about getting a wireless mouse...helped me appreciate my laptop so much more!!! I just can't do anything the other way...takes too long!

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    Get the wireless mouse. I love mine, it's almost like a pet to me now. Always on the arm of my chair!
I get annoyed every time I get new technology. I think I spend too much time copying my old stuff to the new. This is my 4th new computer in 20 years, I keep them till they die. Got my laptop for Christmas and have been in love ever since. I still have to travel ALL the way into the dinning room to copy files I look for and haven't transfered from our 2003 model. When I get on my old computer I am amazed at what junk I haven't missed. I think "Maybe I really don't need all this stuff, technology and time killers". Then I grab my iPad, run out the door and check my smart phone for email!

Don't we just go outside and play anymore? emoticon

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DEBRITA01 9/22/2011 6:07PM

    I like this statement : "And don't spend TOO much time with the new little machine! Even though it's a terrific tool, it's not the whole world " That's why you continue to be successful with maintenance...everything in moderation! emoticon

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KARIDIAN1 9/22/2011 2:43PM

    I love my laptop for what it allows me to do. And I didn't want to get one. Silly me!

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KNITLEIGH 9/22/2011 11:12AM

    So true! this little machine isn't the whole world! Today I'm giving away some peaches! Have a wonderful day!
emoticon emoticon

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MSLZZY 9/22/2011 7:56AM

    You are so right! HUGS!

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Moments of clarity... moments of vision

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I have a new computer, a laptop. It is down to the wallpaper bare: operating system only, no real application software, at this point. This brings one to life decisions, to one of those moments of vision. I ask myself what I really need/want on this new machine. Although it is a laptop, it is going to be my main computer. It's a wide-screen, hefty thing, really a desktop replacement. It has that oh-so-handy numeric keypad at the right hand side of a full qwerty keyboard. Those of us who have been touch typists since junior high school have a hard time "thumb-typing" on those new-fangled tablets, don't you know? It will hook to all my important peripherals, the printer, auxilliary storage, and obviously the web.

From my point of view, I'm missing several bits of my life that are needed: basic MS Office tools, the software I use to track my budget, and even my little DOS-based weight commander that does the rolling 7 day average when I enter my daily weigh ins! I could probably drop that with a proper spreadsheet to do the same, but it does have about ten years of data backed up for it.

Consequently, this morning I went digging through my overwhelmingly messy "office/storage room" hunting for my CDs with the base of these important software packages. My reasoning is that since the computer I'm replacing is fried, I can transfer the licenses to the laptop!

Alas, what I found was a moment of clarity about just how disorganized that junk room has become! I could not locate the packages. It's been four years. And guess who is back at the "one thing" philosophy in a great hurry! That room is indeed overwhelming, and I've known for some time that it needs attention. I've kind of got the entertainment level of the house under control... I cleared out the guest room back in July for MobyCarp's visit. My master bedroom has become quite "livable" in the one thing initiative, although it's not perfect. Maybe... no, definitely, it's time to address that office!

Before I go spending money on another copy, I will expend some of my "one thing" energy on that room, and clearing out old technology that is no longer serving a dignified and orderly life. 'Nuff said!

Life's good. Spark on! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 9/22/2011 1:59AM

    Nothing worse then trying to find something and running into a 'wall' I can get rid of my clutter in my 'office' if I get at the tasks done each thing on my desk represents. I just cleared a big one, but there is always another to take its place -one step at a time, one day at a time. Plug away at it until it gets done or found ;)

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KARIDIAN1 9/21/2011 11:38PM

    Still trying to organize after all these years. Biting off more than I can do in one day is what makes it hard to get motivated to finish is what I have found many times. Try for small sections or even if it is one drawer or box a day, at least you will accomplish something and see progress.

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KARIDIAN1 9/21/2011 11:38PM

    Still trying to organize after all these years. Biting off more than I can do in one day is what makes it hard to get motivated to finish is what I have found many times. Try for small sections or even if it is one drawer or box a day, at least you will accomplish something and see progress.

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WATERMELLEN 9/21/2011 7:21PM

    Ohhhhh, I can relate! Have to be kicked, screaming, into "homemaker" mode: and yeah, it does make live so much more comfortable, dignified and calm

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DEBRA0818 9/21/2011 11:50AM

    I always clean better when there is a reason beyond just doing it -- company coming is especially motivating. You'll have accomplished so much in the purchase of that laptop if it includes a reorganized room in the bargain.

Rock on!

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 9/21/2011 11:36AM

    Don't you just love it when life's needs dictate when we need to clean/organize? I've been in that boat many times over the years. In fact, I'm getting close to that point again, but am hoping I can put it off until closer to Thanksgiving when I'll have a housefull again. Just call me the great procrastinator. Good luck with your "one thing." No doubt you'll find the software you're looking for and end up with a more organized office as well. Definitely a win-win!

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ANDI571 9/21/2011 10:26AM

    I had to replace my computer a couple of months ago, and I searched until I could find what I was comfortable with,a desk top. I think I found the last one left, lol.

Kind of like our eating. I didn't want the change. I didn't want to try something new. I wonder what would have happened if I had just went for it and bought a lap top.

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BUGGYS 9/21/2011 9:59AM

    My son bought me a laptop over a year ago and I love is a bigger one, a Dell and I'm still figuring out Windows and everything I can do with it but the fact that it is portable is great. I turned a spare bedroom into my "office" but it's really a junk room. I went in there to find something a couple of nights ago and was surprised that it was such a mess...papers piled on top of each other and plenty of things that need to be sorted through and thrown away. I definitely need to simplify my life and get it organized! I think you'll be pleased with your new little machine...have fun with it!

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DEBRITA01 9/21/2011 9:39AM

    Here's to staying organized...once we get there :) I'm still with you on the "one thing initiative"...boy, do I still have a few one things left to

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ELSEEBEE 9/21/2011 9:26AM

    Isn't it amazing how one thing leads to another? But good for you for making lemonade from the "lemons" that storage area represents. One of the best things I've learned from Spark isn't how to lose weight (lots of programs out there to do that), but how to look at my life and organize it so much better. Spark on!

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HOT4FITNESS 9/21/2011 9:16AM

    Have fun with the new machine! Did you get an Apple?

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KALIGIRL 9/21/2011 8:55AM

    Love it - necessity is the mother of invention!

You'll find those discs and will be able to upgrade -

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