ONEKIDSMOM   108,126
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
ONEKIDSMOM's Recent Blog Entries

Next steps

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Monday was a good recovery day. No "extra" exercise, stayed on the food plan, treated myself "gently" from a self-talk point of view, and began trotting out my bag of mental tools related to binge recovery:

1. As best I can, figure out the elements of "what am I missing" and "why am I missing it?"
2. Satisfy that "missing" thing.
3. Assess the goals, stated and unstated, that I have been pursuing.
4. Figure out if they are still relevant.
5. Adjust and move on!

Saturday's rebellion was a precursor to Sunday morning's. The entire rebellion started with the realization that I did not want to take the *time* to drive to Omaha and back for that 5K. This is a clue. My brother is fond of saying that time is the ultimate scarce resource. The longer I live the more I accept this. It is important to spend this scare resource on things that matter most to me.

So then we get into "why did this 5K not matter as much to me?" Truth to tell, I signed up for it late, mainly because I wanted to somehow demonstrate my support for the cause. Which is a good one. But it was one more race in an already full schedule. I just did a 5 mile one three weeks ago, and two weeks from now I was already signed on for another 5K. This one, tucked between? Just plain "too much".

What was I missing? Time to just "be". Time to indulge in some grief (yes, I watched a sappy movie Saturday morning and cried for a lot of this year's losses, including the one I wrote about earlier in the week). Time to not have to be somewhere and do something. I need this. And I need to recognize it's importance to myself, especially during a phase at work that is keeping me overtime more than "normal" and stressing me. Time to hang up the "competition" part of my nature.

The biggest error in all of this was overbooking myself. It's one I have made in the past. I doubt it's the last time I do it. I don't want it to unravel the life I envision for myself: one of dignity and order and harmony. I must pull in my horns and accept that for now, the "official" 5K's have to go. I'm not training properly for them (due to the overtime and exhaustion at the end of the day). I need to take better care of me in other ways right now.

In my heart of hearts, I want that dignified orderly life, to have my home be a refuge. I accept that, and will get back to the "one thing" goals, which have been sliding between the OT and the races. I shall nurture myself. Because I'm worth it.

I will not give up: Tracking my food and activity levels so I can maintain my healthy weight. Walking breaks at work to manage stress levels. Strength training to the evening TV shows, two or three times a week. Positive self-talk, every day, because I'm worth it.

I will give up, "for now": the scheduled races... not going to sign up for any more. I will decide closer to the race itself whether I will actually go and participate in the last one I have already signed on for.

I will re-assess, in a week or two, how this plan is going. Am I feeling less pressured by myself to do "too much"? Because having reactionary binges is *not* healthy! And healthy is the real goal.

Life's good. Spark on! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 10/6/2011 1:14AM

    I recognise it all - me, I tend to "paralyse" when I have too big ambitions, instead I lurk in my sofa and feel awful...and eat of course.

I miss the energy I used to have. I have probably not fully accepted that my life today has to be more limited in actions than it used to be. I am rebelling against that and when I do, I take on too much and get paralyzed... hmm.

Thank you for helping me seeing this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRITA01 10/5/2011 3:19PM

    You're doing great...keep Sparking on! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNYWBL 10/5/2011 12:57AM

    It is very good to be self-aware! emoticon


emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 10/5/2011 12:05AM

    I can schedule myself so tight that I meet myself coming and going. Then I ask myself
"Why"? Being highly competitive myself, I know that I need to just "be" and let go.
And life will go on, regardless. Take care. HUGS!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOBYCARP 10/4/2011 9:08PM

    Fascinating blog. Reading it, I recognize a piece of myself in it: I tend to fall apart when my time is scheduled so full that I don't get enough unstructured time to just be. That could be thought of as rebellion, taking the form of refusing to do planned productive stuff in favor of down time.

I need to keep in mind that I shouldn't over-schedule the exercise. Maybe missing the gym entirely for the last couple weeks of 5K training isn't such a bad thing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 10/4/2011 8:17PM

    Sounded like you have it all figured out. You were simply taking on more than you can handle with your work load. With such stress you need to find more ways to relax and have a me time that will recharge and renergize you, not more work and stress training for a race. You go Barb! Find some FUN activities that don't require thought or commitment! Cut loose! You can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARIDIAN1 10/4/2011 6:25PM

    It's important to take time out for yourself. Glad you took some "me" time for yourself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNY332 10/4/2011 3:42PM

    Be good to yourself, Barb. Life is meant to be enjoyed too.

I don't beat myself up if I have one or two days that don't fit into "my plans". I just jump back into my plan as soon as I can.

Take care and remember that all of life is taken just One Day at a Time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAREN_BLUEJEANS 10/4/2011 10:58AM

    It's OK to say "No" and just relax & enjoy life.

(hugs)

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHELL- 10/4/2011 10:41AM

    Fascinating insight into motivation behind the rebellion. So did it boil down to "self care"?


Report Inappropriate Comment
ANDI571 10/4/2011 10:14AM

    I think you are definitely figuring things out. I wonder too, if you are signing up for 5K's that you really don't want to do, if it is another way to escape. I know with me when I don't escape with food, I have to watch that I don't do it with shopping. Then I feel guilty shopping, then I escape that with eating. A viscous cycle if we let it happen. Being aware is very important.

It only goes to show you, we are always learning about ourselves.

Love your cat. emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/4/2011 10:14:38 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/4/2011 9:00AM

    Bravo! Way to think it out and make a reasonable plan.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Practicing what I preach

Monday, October 03, 2011

Treat yourself gently. Imagine your best friend came to you and told you what you just wrote. What would you advise him/her? Would you tell them they are a terrible person? Or would you comfort them?

That's the advice I preach to others. Today I put it into practice for me. Yesterday was just that... yesterday. In fact the whole weekend, lost or not, is that "past". It doesn't reverse the entire program.

I slept well, which I generally do when I eat more. Perhaps I had been undereating a bit, leading to stronger temptation to "overcompensate"? Take that into consideration... and don't swing too far the other way today.

So, I packed my lunch, the usual healthy stuff. And I made my breakfast of steel cut oats with fresh strawberries (they were on sale on Saturday, so I even saved money on them this time).

I shall take my walking breaks at work. And I shall keep my self-talk positive. And this *will* be a good day of recovery. Because despite the days of rebellion... majority does rule. And the majority of the time, I really *do* care.

Spark on! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/3/2011 9:35PM

    Wiser words were never spoken! So glad you were able to turn things around and get yourself back to normal. It feels good slipping back into the healthy routine after a slip, doesn't it? I'm doing the same thing after having indulged all weekend.

I was thinking about you on my walk this morning. I found myself wondering if perhaps the slip you experienced was your body/subconscious telling you that it need rest. You've been doing a lot of 5Ks all summer long. Maybe this was your body's way of getting what it needed. You may not have liked it's tactics, but it did slow you down. And you got good rest last night. Just a thought . . . .

Have a nice evening and a great start to your day tomorrow, Barb!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MIZCATHI 10/3/2011 7:06PM

    Wow, now I don't feel so alone. For the past several days I have been in "rebellion" too, and not sure why. It really wasn't much fun!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRITA01 10/3/2011 6:06PM

    Glad you've shown yourself the same kindness you show to friends here on SP. You keep Sparking! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 10/3/2011 3:06PM

    Good Recovery!! Good attitude!!
I can't get enough of strawberries and don't care what I have to pay to get them lol.
You have a GREAT day of recovery and treating yourself with TLC and respect! Your body will thank you for it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROSEWAND 10/3/2011 2:54PM

    I am discovering that maintenance is a path of
balance and equilibrium. It is not straight.
I lean to left and undereat; I lean to the right
and overeat. As long as I rebalance and return
to the center, I am fine.

And you are wisely acknowledge, love and
patience are a big part of restoring the balance.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESTSUSIEYET 10/3/2011 9:43AM

    Yes! And for the record, I think your one day of rebellion will do less damage than the daily "just a little bit over" thing. You are not lying to yourself and then whining when the scale & your pants try to tell you that you have been off track! Blessings today! Throw away whatever is left of the junk food, and go back to the healthy things you've come to love!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNY332 10/3/2011 9:01AM

    Great job of putting the weekend behind you and stepping out into the new week. emoticon

Love the PINK!

Have a Marvelous Monday, Barb!

Sunny

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 10/3/2011 8:34AM

    I vote for recovery. The past is the past so move on. HUGS!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLENDERELLA61 10/3/2011 8:14AM

    Brilliant! You are SO right. It is the majority that counts. An occasional slip isn't significant -- what is significant is renewing that commitment to health. Good for you!! -Marsha

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHARON2014 10/3/2011 7:57AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOT4FITNESS 10/3/2011 7:48AM

    Onward we move my friend...onward. Gently of course.

Report Inappropriate Comment


So let's talk about that full rebellion mode

Sunday, October 02, 2011

OK, we all know weekends are hard. But it's been a very long time since I went into full and blatant rebellion mode. As in make a list of target foods and go to the grocery store and purchase them with the express purpose in mind to eat without recording.

Good, healthy foods? Heck no. We are talking Halloween candy, a full month before the holiday. And chips. Yes, sour cream and onion potato chips. And full fat-laden natural processed cheese. I bought them, I brought them home. And I ate them. Not all of them, yet, but enough to feel full and bloated.

I was supposed to go run a 5K in Omaha this morning. When I got up at 4:20 a.m. I hit this wall of full rebellion. In fact it was already in progress yesterday afternoon. The run was in a very good cause. But I wasn't doing it "with" anyone else. And I did NOT feel like taking my today and using it that way. And I took the bit in my teeth and chose NOT to go. I paid them my money. They mailed me my shirt. But I did not go run. I had a bad case of the "I don't wannas." OK, I was also hiding from the Autumn allergens.

Instead I laid around the house, watched old TV shows on Netflix, and vegged. And by mid afternoon, it escalated to the grocery trip. And there you have it... confession. Not sure when this mood will end. But it is this kind of attitude that can undermine everything I've done for the past two and a half years!

Sigh. The roller coaster goes on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNY1432 10/3/2011 10:21PM

    It happens everyone, I've been there the last few days myself. I got back on the horse today and you'll do it when your ready. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STARL_73 10/3/2011 11:37AM

    I've found that if I indulge my attitude, accept it and don't feel guilty about it, it goes away faster. I can lessen it by not putting it off for so long. It's like a rubber band you keep pulling and pulling.. once in a while, lighten the tension, just a little and you'll be able to pull a little longer. .. ok, not the best analogy. But remember you need to give your body a break - or it will demand it.
As for the chips and stuff - if you realize you don't want to finish them - don't. You indulged, you enjoyed - now back on the trail.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 10/3/2011 8:36AM

    Roller coasters are such a nuisance but it is a part of life. You'll get back in the mood, and sooner that you think.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHARON2014 10/3/2011 7:55AM

    Sounds like a "comfort food" day to me! Glad you got it out of your system and lived to tell about it! My hunch is that the roller coaster ride will soon be over and you will be back on track very soon if not already! Take care of yourself! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRA0818 10/3/2011 7:40AM

    Only you can decide what is happening inside you -- a normal down day or scraping back and forth at the top of the slide.

As much as I love eating this way and exercising, I can imagine that a day of indulgence would feel just right at some point in the future. After all, this is the way I managed myself for most of my 56 years (although my mother had to help me when I was a baby and she did by giving me extra bottles when I was fussy), so it seems likely that it will always be the default impulse when I feel like I need a day of withdrawal from the world.

Are there healthier ways to do it? Heck, yeah! But, are there more expedient ways to do it that connect with all my deepest longings and belief? Maybe not.

And, not to excuse or make light of what is going on, but, according to some of the diet gurus, a cheat day once a week is the way to maintain long term.

Be kind to yourself.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 10/3/2011 2:02AM

    Sounded like you really wanted some 'me' time and wanted to go back to the bad old days where you were most comfortable.
It does remain to be seen if your stomach agrees with this. The old story one weekend does not break a healthy lifestyle. So many people have lapses on weekends you might as well call their plans the work week diet. We are actually all allowed to be human in this lifestyle, hence the 80/20 rule. I know I blew my 20 out of the water this weekend -I can't say no to thick slabs of whole wheat garlic bread dripping with old cheddar cheese -I do not buy processed cheese -it has to be old (the older the better and I will pay through the nose to have it), and full fat. I do not eat this stuff at home and that is probably what keeps me going. Once in a while treat, its not going to be there 24/7. We usually only have it on special occasions actually, but Mom was wanting to clean out her deep freeze and didn't want to save it until Thanksgiving.
I am able to allow myself a slice of cheese a day, in the past it would be one 900g package a week.. It is possible to have things in moderation.
So put this weekend to rest and work it Monday! You can get back on that horse! Its been a rough ride, but you have a proven track record!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRITA01 10/2/2011 8:42PM

    O.K., so Barbie came out to play today. She rebelled against the 5k and she ate some snacks. I'm sure she's gone now and you are left feeling kinda icky from the food and are ready to get back to it. Although we don't always know why this happens, we do know that this will only be a temporary glitch. Remember 80/20? Tomorrow is a new day, so be kind to yourself and carry on. You are such an inspiration to us all, but we don't expect you to be perfect ALL of the time :) emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/2/2011 8:24PM

    Having gone throught the exact same scenario recently (and frequently, for that matter), I can truly feel your pain. I'm not sure what triggers it. Stress? Fatigue? Emotional or psychological "breaks." It really doesn't matter too much what the trigger is -- as long as we "own" it and get back on track. And, as you and I have discussed previously (when I was in that boat) we come to our senses much quicker now. And our bodies are very quick at reminding us how awful we feel when we eat poorly. Confession is good -- it relieves those inner (demonic) voices. I hope your roller coaster ride has hit bottom and is beginning the climb up again. Be kind to yourself -- you are doing well and you are an inspiration to MANY of us on SP. We all have our weak moments -- isn't it nice to have a place like SP to go to to get it out, deal with it and move on?

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOBYCARP 10/2/2011 8:01PM

    That's so wrong. You were supposed to have that fit when I was there to put the chips and cheese on my waist instead of yours.

FWIW--Friday I ate too much, though not as much as I would have at the same event, pre-Spark. Saturday I was rewarded with mildly uncomfortable twinges in my intestines, which I interpret as my body processing stuff it's no longer used to.

Your body is going to give you a wake up call, too. Listen to it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOT4FITNESS 10/2/2011 7:35PM

    Alright. Finish the chips and cheese and lets move forward. These kind of things happen. I have been in the I dont wanna mood for a couple of weeks. Thursday, I saw the trainer and oops.. when I stepped on that scale, my attitude changed back rather quickly.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WATERMELLEN 10/2/2011 6:45PM

    Don't believe it for a moment: that "it is this kind of attitude that can undermine everything I've done for the past two and a half years".

The rebellion is temporary. Enough! You didn't wanna! So you didn't get up to go and run! And you ate potato chips instead!

That's a T-shirt I've got too -- in fact, a whole closet full of 'em. Really.

But: run the remaining chips under the tap . . . or through the garburetor. Cheese maybe at the back of the freezer?

I'm betting that once you flush through the sodium, not even a 1 pound difference. Highly unlikely you ate 3500 calories worth of potato chips and cheese. Temporary blip. Reminding us that we can't be perfect 100% of the time!



Report Inappropriate Comment


Design, vision, fantasy...

Friday, September 30, 2011

The word "design" popped into my brain today. Maybe it is because I'm in the design phase of a project at work, but maybe it's just one of those random things. Either way, where the brain went was, "Live your life by design".

I think this is very similar to creating a vision for what I want the next phase of my life to be... weaving a fantasy that can turn into a reality, one day at a time. Perhaps it is the natural optimism that I tend to wake up with every day. I can't explain it exactly, where it comes from, but I seem to have had it since childhood. Oh, yes, I've had some darker times and moods, and "I don't care" and "this is NOT working" periods in my life, but left to my own devices, a good night's sleep seems to make almost everything better.

I wake up this way. It is a gift. One that I think might be cultivated, nurtured and encouraged, but at its base, I was blessed with it from birth, I think. Just ask Moby! We used to have long conversations as teenagers. Or ask my kid... we've had a few.

But I digress, rejoicing in the gift... this morning "live your life by design". Maybe this is the phrase that I'll use to refurbish the "do one thing". I know I feel better when I am taking action... so the design of my life is around doing just that: taking action to live the life I am meant to live. After all, the journey on this plane is not forever. I mean to make the most of what's really important in it.

Hug your loved ones, and live by design! Life's good... Spark on! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATERMELLEN 10/2/2011 6:48PM

    Oh gosh I've got that cheerful Pollyanna thing too: happy most of the time, like pretty much everybody. Grrrrrrr, it's annoying to others.

All perfectly genuine. I regret that it's annoying to others but there it is.

(And then every once in a while in catches up to me and I'm flat on my butt in full rebellion mode . . . )

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 10/1/2011 6:47PM

    Very positive and a wonderful, inspiring blog. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNY332 10/1/2011 3:32PM

    What a great thought. Thanks for another awesome post.

Here's a emoticon to living life by design.

Hugs, Sunny

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEDDYPEDDY 10/1/2011 1:50AM

    Yes that is a nice thought - to life my life by design. For today I will design a calm and loving atmosphere.

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 10/1/2011 1:24AM

    So nice to hear this! Nothing like waking up positive after a good night's sleep! You are already living a good life by design and adding new patterns daily to Spark it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVESTHEBEACH83 9/30/2011 1:43PM

    That is amazing! I love that mantra! I do wish I was blessed with the ability to be optimistic every morning but it is something I am working on. Thank you for this nugget of wisdom emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOHUSKERS2 9/30/2011 8:30AM

    What a great way to be! Being positive, taking action and living by design are the only ways to do it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRITA01 9/30/2011 8:23AM

    "After all, the journey on this plane is not forever. I mean to make the most of what's really important in it." Good reminder...we need to seize each day! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRA0818 9/30/2011 8:06AM

    I was similarly blessed by a good nature and whilst it can sometimes be perceived of by others as persistent naivete, it sure does make my internal life a pleasure and a blessing to others.

I'm a hugger too!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Not a pretty topic, but it weighs on my mind today

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The topic? Suicide. What an ugly word. Made uglier when it enters your life through someone you know. Made more so when "nobody saw it coming".

Last night my son clued me in to some FB statusses I had seen from people I met during his deployment. I am not a real active communicant with them, but still have them on my contact list, and I'd seen some things out there that led me to conclude someone had lost their life. They were vague though, and I don't know these folks well enough to barge in and say "What happened, who?"

My son told me he didn't know if I'd met ____ and his family, but as I had got to know so many at the Yellow Ribbon events while he was away, I'd probably want to know... and I did want to know. Nearly a year after coming home, one of the unit members attached to his sister reserve unit chose to end his own life on Sunday. He leaves behind a little girl.

Suicide is hard to understand from the outside. It's particularly hard from the "nearby" outside. But clearly from the inside, that person believes it to be a solution to his or her problems.

A few years ago, a young man who worked in my small team also died by his own hand. The very day he did it I had seen him at noon... he was laughing and joking, always had a kind word for everyone. This news brought that all back. And especially the feeling "If I had only known..."

I don't have answers. I have faith, and a heavy heart. I have concerns about loved ones... we all do. May God be gentle with those who knew this man best... and with all of us trying to make sense of the senseless.

And God, while you're at the answering prayers job, help me remember that eating well and moving help not just the ordinary stresses of day to day, but help with the big things, too.

All you Spark Friends out there... if you get one thing from my blog today, let it be this: YOU are a person of value. YOU contribute to the world. Take good care of YOU, because you're worth it. And I love you. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYWBL 12/18/2011 3:39PM

    Too true! Every last one of us is 'worth it'. I need to say it to others much more often.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEDDYPEDDY 10/5/2011 12:49AM

    Last week the brother of my boss commited suicide. Three years ago, when I lost the legal fight about where my daugther should live, I was so close to letting go that I claim to know what it is about. Of course to me only, everybody is not the same - I could have been cheerful a couple of hours before total desperation because to me it came very suddenly, just BANG! total desperation and pain and feeling that I could not ope any more...

Thanks to my experience I could tell my boss what it is like to be in the fearful state of anting toend ones life. Since that horrible night I have worked hard to pu up some good prevention walls in my life, when I am "normal" I know that it does not benefiyt my daughter that her mother leaves, but when I am in that blak hole... I can seriously convince myself that it is the best I can do. So I canīt afford to go in that black hole and I can dreat a life when I am as far from it as possible.

I know today that I have very weak spots. I know that I have to protect and take care of myself. I am very grateful for that insight.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNY1432 10/1/2011 11:21PM

    Suicide is a hard subject to approach and to deal with. I'll be praying for the little girl. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHELL- 10/1/2011 11:17PM

    My experience with suicide was with my immediate family. My mother's depression was because of horrible, unmanageable pain was suicidal when I was in high school, luckily her treatment for depression was successful.
18 years ago my husband of 20 yrs was "I'll show you and ruin your life" suicide those are the words of a psychiatrist's not mine, it was a tragic loss of a brilliant man. Then my son was put on medication to treat his emotions about losing his dad. The medication was one that they NOW warn to NOT put teenagers on, and it was double the recommended dose, within one week he was gone.
The crushing depression I felt at losing my whole family within 3 months was beyond words but I was blessed to have a friend who got me to a wonderful counselor who had first hand knowledge of suicide (her father, brother).
18 years and I'm still recovering... Your blog is an important contribution to people understanding depression and suicide and the long lasting effects suicide has on those that are left behind. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LALASLAND 9/30/2011 8:56AM

    I am so glad Linda mentioned your blog so I would come and read it. Suicide is so tragic! 17 years ago, a dear friend of mine ended her life leaving behind a 4 month old baby girl with a husband who "never saw the signs" to raise her by himself. Just last month, one of our students at the university where I work lost his big brother to suicide... and he's still just trying to grasp the why. I wish those who choose to end their lives would realize the pain that is left when they are gone. But maybe that's part of the problem; they think others would be better off without them. I find that never to be the case. Thank you for a good blog even though it was a sad subject.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PCOH051610 9/30/2011 7:43AM

    A wonderful blog and trust me, as somebody who has been suicidal, the fun upbeat mannerisms of this guy were because he had his mind made up and he was happy about it. Sad but true.

I hid my depression for years but since I joined Spark I now am more open. There is a horrible stigma about any mental illness so I think public awareness is the answer. I look and act "normal" but when I am really under the weather you wouldn't recognize me - I don't recognize myself!



Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRITA01 9/29/2011 8:28PM

    One never really knows the thoughts behind someone choosing to take their own life...often times it is totally unexpected and leaves their loved ones with so many unanswered questions. Prayers for comfort and strength for this man's family as they mourn the loss of their loved one. Such a tragic loss...I'm so sorry.






Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 9/29/2011 8:28PM

    So very sorry :(( It was difficult reading all these tragic stories. I can't imagine the feeling of hopelessness that leads to this action.. May people who have these thoughts have someone to rescue them before they take the plunge..

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIKI0531 9/29/2011 7:39PM

    tragic.

My cousin's fiance' took his life some time ago. Out of nowhere - just after finishing a lazy Saturday morning breakfast. No note. No answers to so many of her questions.

I will keep his daughter in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard this can be on those left behind.



Report Inappropriate Comment
WATERMELLEN 9/29/2011 6:57PM

    Suicide is such an important topic: thanks for writing about it today. And reminding us all of how much caring for each other can do to change the world.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRA0818 9/29/2011 3:43PM

    My heart goes out to those whose world has become so filled with pain that they feel they have no other choice but to end it, and to those left behind to wonder. Feeling valuable, connected, needed, necessary are all such wonderful things to feel but hard to inculcate in another. It adds a dimension of helplessness to an otherwise incalculable tragedy. May the loving arms of God be felt by each and every person who was a witness to this light going out of the world.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUGGYS 9/29/2011 1:45PM

    The brother of a friend of mine dies in a horrific accident when he was traveling with some buddies. Although the funeral was so very hard for everyone, it was especially hard for the mom. She decided she couldn't live without her son and committed suicide by sitting in her car in her garage...my friend found her. She lost two family members in 5 weeks. Life is worth it and help is out there for those who think it's just too much to bear. The ones who are left behind suffer the most...my friend has never been the same...depression is the killer...reach out to those you know are suffering, help yourself if you are suffering but please seek the help you so deserve!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELSEEBEE 9/29/2011 12:18PM

    Suicides are so very difficult to understand and to deal with. It especially saddens me to hear it was a young person who gave so much to our country. May his death remind us all to take good care of our military and let them know how much we love and appreciate them.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BBORDEN86 9/29/2011 10:51AM

    I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. It's truely unfortunate that it coudln't be prevented. "YOU are a person of value. YOU contribute to the world. Take good care of YOU, because you're worth it. And I love you." Those are powerful words right there. EVERYONE is worth it!

I will never forget being a teenager and having to deal with this very issue firsthand. We always learned about it in school. I took it serious, but never thought it'd hit home. My next door neighbor and I were REALLY close friends. Same grade, and everything. She had been contemplating suicide, I don't know for how long. I remember one day her coming to me and asking me if my dad had a gun. He did, but I NEVER told her that. At this point I knew she was somewhat serious, but didn't know how to go about dealing with this sort of thing. Her next step was writing letters to everyone close to us and asking me to give them to those people. I told her I couldn't, started crying, and she walked away. I called my dad SOBBING telling him that she was thinking about commiting suicide, how she asked for a gun, and then had all these letters for me to give to people. I think right after we got off the phone he called her and asked her how she was doing. I'm not even sure how the conversation went, that's something I never asked him. The NEXT day she came and apologized, and we cried. She thanked me for caring. I was just VERY thankful that I possibly stopped her from ruining her life.

It still gets me teary thinking about it today. Now, she is almost done with college, and has an absolutely beautiful baby girl!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOSIEISHEALTHY 9/29/2011 10:30AM

    Suicide is such a tragedy on so many levels. I have a family member who committed suicide that left behind a daughter. The hurt my family members have felt run very deep. It's been over 30 years and I know it still affects them. I didn't know him since he died before I was born. My heart goes out to you and everyone else that has gone through a tragedy like that.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOT4FITNESS 9/29/2011 9:29AM

    Thanks for sharing this blog today. It is hard to believe that just about a year ago I was in a situation where I was contemplating ending my own life. Thank goodness for friends and family. God definitely intervened and put the right people in my life at the right time. I get tearful thinking of those moments but then I look at how much stronger I am today! Spark on!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVE_2_LAUGH 9/29/2011 9:24AM

    How very sad and tragic. May those left behind feel God's loving arms around them.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARIDIAN1 9/29/2011 8:24AM

    Suicide has touched so many in one way or another. Posting your thoughts helped you and others deal with the often silent killer of depression.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 9/29/2011 8:10AM

    As my pastor said, we never know what is going through another person's mind or the demons they are facing. So sorry for the family and those who knew him.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SAMI199 9/29/2011 8:06AM

    I'm sorry...It is the hardest thing of all to wrap our heads around.I would like to add that depression is a very insidious illness that makes "knowing" when a person is @ that point is almost impossible.They are not to blame,or selfish-just very ill( Thanks for sharing your thoughts & love) *hugs*

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 Last Page