Friday, April 13, 2012
Perfect day to "get over it", don't you think?
It's Friday. Whether you (I) had a bad week or a good one, it's the perfect day to make into a great one.
Yes, I have continued in my rebellion mode. Still talking back to the guy. Still misbehaving but taking baby steps to make it better. The allergies have been running rampant this week, which leads me back into making excuses, feeling sorry for myself, and continuing the "bad" habits. That said, here are the last 3 days of homework questions. Then I'm off to work!
DAY 18 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. What has been the "cause" of your fatness in the past?
Not valuing myself and my health.
2. How have you confused cause and effect in other areas of your life?
Haven't thought about it much. Kind of drift along accepting things that are.
3. After you reach your natural weight and get fit, what will be your next major goal?
Don't know as I have one. I'm pretty content.
Thinking too much about THESE questions kind of undermines my "oomph"... this guy preaches success on many levels, and I'm not sure I want to buy into that whole philosophy.
DAY 19 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. What are your five strongest beliefs about dieting?
1. I feel better when I eat right, it has nothing to do with trying to lose or gain weight.
2. Nothing is forbidden, but some things once started are hard to stop with, so it's better not to stock them in the house.
3. There is nothing magic about diet... it is simply "what you eat."
2. What are your five strongest beliefs about exercise?
1. If I stop, I have trouble starting again.
2. A little bit is better than none at all.
3. Ten minutes of activity in the midst of a sedentary job contributes to mental, emotional and social health!
3. Have these beliefs contributed to your being fat?
No, these are the ones that are contributing to becoming less so.
I didn't manage to come up with "five"... and that's OK by me. These will do it.
DAY 20 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. Have you hit a plateau yet? If so, how did you make it through?
Yes. I've even had some regains... but I'm not just counting this 20 days, but the whole losing process. I got through it with patience. In some cases I overate for a while before re-establishing healthy habits. It may not be what you recommend, but it worked for me to "keep it green."
2. List the three stages of success for future reference.
The excitement stage.
The season of pain.
The knowing stage.
3. List the three best strategies you've learned or used during the season of pain.
Personal pep-talks, blogging.
Doing the healthy habitual behavior anyway.
Once in a while slipping, forgiving myself, and getting back on the horse again.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Yeah, I've been missing for three days. Part of this has been personal crash and burn, talking back at the guy, and misbehaving like crazy, dropping the good habits and justifying my behavior to myself on various levels.
Some of the things he talks about got me into rebellion mode! Danger, Will Robinson, Danger! And I had this emotional melt-down over Easter and son being away... that's been mitigated a bit since by some minimal contact. I have to wonder how people did it old-school when their loved ones went away and we didn't have the internet, telephones, etc.
So I'm guilty as charged of emotional thinking. Something our Mental Toughness coach denigrates. You see? Rebellion.
However, all that said, time to get it back together. It's OK to have those melt downs from time to time, but in the end, I'm still happier when I'm following the lifestyle of the Spark! So... lunch packed, oats simmering... pep talk in progress... and breathing!
DAY 15 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. Are you more of a logical or emotional thinker?
Sometimes one, sometimes the other, depends on the topic. I determined years ago, though, that the really important decisions in my life were made emotionally.
2. On a scale of 1-7, 7 being best, how good are you at controlling and manipulating your emotions under pressure and stress?
Depends on the day.
3. What emotions are you currently allowing to run wild when it comes to weight loss and how can you fix it?
Worry about my child's safety, self-pity when I don't hear from him, and eating to comfort/calm myself.
Fix? Recognize that's what's going on! Do something else that I find soothing.
DAY 16 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. On a scale of 1-7, 7 being most powerful, how strong is your will power when it comes to dieting?
Varies. 7 on a good day, probably most days. Slips over the weekend, particularly, or under stress.
2. Do you believe you are 100% responsible for your own success?
3. What level of thinking do you use most: negative, positive or critical?
Not sure. Going to have to monitor for a while. I was trained to be a positive thinker in my youth. Exposed to a hugely negative thinker in my spouse, and a mainly critical thinker in my brother... my predominant style varies by topic. At work, I am a critical thinker.
DAY 17 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. List the 5 best habits you've developed in your life.
* Dental hygiene (brushing and flossing and all that).
* Sleep time consistency (early to bed, early to rise).
* Active breaks from work (walking, not eating).
* Packing healthy lunches.
* Wearing comfortable shoes.
2. List the 5 worst habits you've developed in your life.
* Trying to live vicariously, will others to do what I think is best for them.
* Messiness / disorder.
3. On a scale of 1-7, 7 being most often, how often do you think for yourself as opposed to following others blindly?
I like to think it's higher than it really is. Probably around a 4-5. I think for myself. I don't often voice my thoughts when I know they won't be popular, except around smaller groups I think might agree.
Saturday, April 07, 2012
For those of you who were wondering about Day 13, Day 14 Steve (the coach) talks about why so many programs *do not* address the issue of sexual energy and weight... it's a hot button and can offend. It's also one of the reasons I will answer MYOB about any questions about it... even though I will / do think about the realities and truths of the situation.
You see, some of these things cut both ways. If one does *not* desire the attention, and further, is a people pleaser... the fear of unwanted attention can be a powerful motivator to stay fat! Thus the anger reaction that I had to work through.
Today coach talked about people pleasing and how we avoid talking about important topics, and even make decisions in our lives for fear of offending people in our lives.
Ding-ding-ding! This is the story of my life. And one of the most important lessons I have to keep relearning.
DAY 14 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. On a scale of 1-7, 7 being most addicted, how addicted are you to the approval of others?
Probably a 7. I admit this. But it matters which others. I have wrestled with this over the years. I have wondered why the opinions of certain others is so important to me. Because many strong emotions are tied into what I think someone else will think about me... will they laugh at me? Will they rejoice in my failure? Will they scoff at my goals? Why does it matter so much to me?
No matter what the coach says, we need other people to get through life. But we don't need EVERY person to get us through life. And we need to sometimes be the leader... sometimes we just have to shake it off. Other people sometimes can surprise us if we just pluck up our courage and make the changes we have been fearing to make. Sometimes they are NOT hoping you will fail... sometimes it is their own fear that is holding them back.
I said I'm addicted, which I am. But can I overcome this addiction? I'm in recovery.
2. How do you feel about adopting new beliefs and philosophies that better serve your best interests?
I'm open to it. I've proven it.
3. Beyond losing weight and getting fit, what would you attempt to do with your life if you knew you couldn't fail?
Retire, and live life. I have this bucket list... it included a half marathon. I did that last year. It includes an official tri... I'm working on that. Some travel places are on my list. The thing about a bucket list? Got to be for YOU, not things you wish or dream for others, because after all, you don't control others.
What's on your list?
Friday, April 06, 2012
All right, folks, I have to admit today's video was on a topic that I, personally, don't discuss out in the open. Some things are, face it, private... but for your consideration, here's the questions in the homework.
DAY 13 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. Is being fat destroying your sex life?
2. Do you recognize the raw power of sexual energy?
3. Will you use enhancing your sex life as another motivator to help drive you towards a healthier body?
What I am willing to say: I can tell you from personal experience, my spouse got a LOT more interested when I dropped weight. The very fact of this reality made me angry. It resulted in emotional issues related to fat / body size / attractiveness / shallow nature of human response coming to the surface to be "handled". It isn't "fair", but it is a part of human reality.
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Today's video was one of those that could be difficult if you're in a weak spot, emotionally. It would be the kind you'd storm out of if you were in a place of making excuses. Or weep over and think you didn't have it in you if you were in a place of self-blame.
The problem with things like "Mental Toughness" is the vocabulary. While HE says "grow up!", I might say "be kind to yourself". And the really funny thing is, we MEAN the same thing. To me, being kind to myself involves being a parent to the child within. It means putting the past behind and behaving better in the PRESENT. It means setting aside shame, learning from screw ups and moving on.
He means the same thing when he says "get tough", "suck it up", and "grow up". Bottom line: we all have it in us to be better than we have been. We have it in us to live life in the present. Here's to US... grown ups taking care of our inner children!
DAY 12 QUESTIONS / ACTION STEPS
1. How many child-like beliefs do you have about dieting?
I don't think I have many left. They have been stripped away by time and experience. I know I am a compulsive eater... but I also know I have a choice about taking the first bite.
2. How many child-like beliefs do you have about exercise?
Again, don't think I have many left. Time and experience, folks. I know exercise makes me fit. I know over-exercise can injure me. I know how important it is to be patient with recovery, to train for events, AND to get back, and strike the balance.
3. How is behaving like a child hurting you?
More and more obvious all the time... when I have a childish tantrum/breakdown it has almost immediate physical side-effects. Fortunately, this is usually enough to spur me back on track. I might whine a bit to my friends, but get back on track because I don't want to feel that way, any more.
Life is good! Spark on!
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