Friday, August 10, 2012
I've had at least three or four different "blog seeds" bouncing around in my brain this week, none of which have made it to screen bits.
There's the one about how I feel about the numbers on the scale, which this week only showed a "2" in the SECOND digit one day. A year ago, when that second digit dipped to a "1" it would set me into a panic of overeating to gain back so it would stay a "2". This year, I've let it remain, and stayed with the plan, although I'm keeping a close eye on it. I have tried to up my eating to a higher end of the range to avoid losing more, but 119 doesn't scare me quite as bad as it used to. This has been a "ponder in my heart" thing as I work the other end of the equation: stopping unwanted losses.
Then there's the one about our own conception of what someone else weighs, being based on our concepts of our own weight and what "thin" is. This one was spurred by a work mate conversation... she was expressing a little admiration, and when I mentioned having to prove my weight being sufficient to donate blood, she popped out with the thought that she figured I had to be about 100 pounds, no way I could be 120. But she's a couple inches shorter than me, and at her fittest, that's what SHE would weigh. Interesting musings followed, all in the brain, none on paper or the screen, still a little undefined "how *do* I feel about this?"
And one about non-food rewards. Going to a minor league baseball game tonight with a gal pal from the work place... and thinking about whether I will plan ball park food/beverage into the day/evening. Foods that once were opportunities / focus, aren't so much these days... the fact that it is even a mental debate is note worthy.
Oh, yes, and the one about response to failures being different these days. In particular the once upon a time wholeness of my identity being work centric, and a failure / mistake / slipup there resulting in self-punishing OT, doing work that really wasn't mine to do, locking myself into an isolated state or worse stuffing my feelings (of inadequacy) with food... and how freeing it has been to let go of all of that. How diligent I must be to avoid having it come rushing back at its earliest opportunity.
That leads to a seed about finding a "me" that isn't just the workplace identity.
In short, the brain's been bouncing around all over the place in this transition time. A pause to self-assess and examine progress is natural during transition. But for today, I'm resolved to let myself enjoy TODAY!
Every day is the first day of the rest of your life. And as I keep finding, LIFE is good. Spark on!
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Just finished a big goal/dream? Has the rush of reaching it started to fade, just a bit?
Do you have a new goal? Is it looking daunting? Does a part of your mind start telling you that you "don't really want to work that hard"?
WELCOME to "finish line syndrome"! This has been a repeating issue for me, not just with the most recent bucket list check off of my first triathlon. It happens just about every time I achieve something: promotion at work, end of school year, reaching goal weight!
There is this little, "can I relax now?" thing that goes on. The "am I done?", the finish line syndrom! The trick is in finding something to mark the transition, allow a little relaxation but JUST enough... and finding further, the next goal that excites enough to restart the cycle of training.
With that long-term goal of the half marathon in November, and a trip to go with it, I think I've found it. With the intermediate events between now and then, I think I have enough to scare me into continuing to train.
So, pep talk to myself. Commit to today's plan, which includes a gym workout. Keep self-talk positive, make sure I don't skip thinking non-food reward thoughts, and following through with them.
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
Yep. Just because I don't want to give up where I've got. It was weird getting in the pool with that one word on the training schedule: swim. No number of yards. No number of minutes. "Swim".
So I swam. I let myself lose track of the pool lengths. I made sure I did 30 minutes, and then I went two more lengths, just because... and dripped my way up, showered and dressed for the day, to the tune "You don't know you're beautiful".
After work, it was 97 degrees outside, and I wimped out to the extent of doing my evening running on the treadmill in the A/C, instead of outside. Running, mind you, does have a minutes or miles on the training plan. Cross training activities don't.
Life is good. Sleep is good. Spark on!
Sunday, August 05, 2012
Yesterday was my first "long run" on the newly devised training plan. I tried to follow the Galloway recommendations, having done my first time trial last Tuesday. It recommends, based on my 9:02 magic mile (imperfectly measured) that my anticipated HM time would be a 10:48 per mile pace. It further recommends long run pace to be 13:50, and that this should be done with intervals of 1 minute run, 1 minute walk.
Well, I set out in the rain with a 5 minute walking warm up, then was very gentle with my 1:1 for the first two cycles, because of the wet sidewalks, and then bike path. Yes, I used the bike path, and because it has limited intersections, my mind started to wander. Polly Perfectionist started talking to me the first time I overshot the 1 minute jog to 1:15. She said, "Go on, jog to the end of the minute, it's only 2 minutes." Then Judy Justification got in once Polly started complaining that I wasn't following the plan: "You had to stop at the light... that has to count as part of the walk interval... you can go on to the next minute."
And, I listened to her and did a 2:1 for a while. Then a 3:1, and eventually one 4:1... before things got a little "different" with a potty stop at a convenience store, then eating my planned snack at a walk (because it was time, already)... and finally finishing up with a proper rotation of 1:1's. In the end, I covered more miles (9.73) than the target 8, kind of once again trying to find where my fitness really is, as opposed to trying to fit into a published plan. In the end, I am confident I'll find the balance.
This morning, it's not a "running" training day. So that means "cross training". But there was only one word on the calendar I put together. No miles, no minutes, just "swim" or "bike" is on the day. It was such a nice day, I decided that biking was what I wanted to do.
Every time I went into the garage, Uma Vertigo, the knobby tired mountain bike looked at me accusingly. "You haven't taken me out for a ride since Brenda (Starr Trek) came to live here," she seemed to say. So this morning, I promised her a nice ride. And we went. Pumped up the fat tires and hopped on in the cool of the morning, and took her out over some of the same ground I had covered on foot Saturday, and beyond. I ended up at the cemetery, stopping by mom & dad's gravesite. It's pretty and peaceful on that ride, and the bridge over 27th street is once again open to bike traffic! Yes!
I didn't worry about time or miles... I just rode and enjoyed the wind in my face or the sun in the sunny spots. I smiled and said good morning to others out doing similar things on those paths... jogging or dog-walking, or biking or even roller blading... lots of activity out there this morning.
And as I rode, I thought about the sheer joy of moving the body. When we were kids, we did this kind of stuff just BECAUSE it's fun. Second childhood is a great time of life.
Saturday, August 04, 2012
You may not even know it, but you have cheerleaders!
I grew up in a family where athleticism was not prized. One of my sisters and I were talking about this recently... how when in grade school she was "this close" to making the President's Physical Fitness Award, and when she said something about it at home, it fell flat, on deaf ears. And she stopped striving for that award because of the response she got at home.
Remembering this painful experience made her more determined to support me when I walk/jogged the Lincoln Half Marathon. She's the one that showed up to give me that all-important motivating hug at mile 11. If she only knew, I told her later, how motivating that was, to have someone I care so much about show support for what I was doing.
Of course she gets it! As a sibling group we have become much more supportive of one another's efforts to get and stay healthy, because as all Sparkers know, it isn't easy.
This week at work, a fellow journey-er who had already retired and moved on to a fancy new job halfway across the country came back to visit. She came over to my cube specifically to have a look at my medals, say congratulations and to tell me I was inspiring her, spurring her to re-start her efforts at exercise. That means a lot, because she in her own right had inspired me. We have both struggled long-term with the roller coaster on the scale.
Here on Spark, every day we encourage one another: in our teams, on the message boards, and in comments on one another's Spark pages... maybe giving a goodie here and there.
In real life there are people cheering you on, too... they may not say it out loud every day, but they are watching... and they rejoice with you and weep with you over this struggle. They may not even know your name. Maybe they see you at a bus stop, or walking in your neighborhood. Maybe they are beside you at a charity event. But they are out there. And believe me, they WANT you to succeed. Because in your success they find hope, motivation, renewed commitment to their own health and fitness.
Maybe you are one of these quiet "cheerleaders" when you see someone making a good choice. Know that your smile, nod, word of encouragement makes a difference. On behalf of all journeyers, I thank you.
Now turn it around if you are both a journeyer and a cheerleader: make sure you cheer for yourself. Because YOU are worth it.
Here's to all the encouragers, the supporters, the people who see in YOU the potential AND the reality. Live, and Love LIFE!
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