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Slogging it out

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Some days you just aren't feeling the workout plan. But you just slog it out there. Today was such a day. I debated doing a bike ride instead of the planned "long run", and got so far as to pump up the tires and fill the camel back. Then I went to let the cat out and discovered rain drops on the deck.

Which was enough to change my plans, and drive me back into my cave. Swapped the bike shorts for running shorts, and put the treadmill and Netflix to good use. I've been working my way through old seasons of The Biggest Loser, and they are pretty incredible for getting through the boredom of a treadmill interval workout. And I slogged it out, in 119 minutes, 10.25 miles.

Some time after that, showered and lunched, an IM conversation window popped up, from my son, halfway 'round the world. Nothing fancy, just the hi, we're both still breathing sort of conversation I have come to expect once a week if I'm lucky.

And I made it through the day behaving well, no recurrance of the bingy stuff from last weekend (I did eat well, and in maintenance range). And recognized that this quiet day by myself was exactly what I needed today. Even to the slogging it out workout. Some days just have to be low key.

Life continues to be good. Spark on. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBRA0818 8/20/2012 6:36AM

    I like the low key kind of days more and more as I go on and what a great idea to watch the BL while working out!

Go, Barb!


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LJCANNON 8/19/2012 10:42PM

    emoticonYou are FIERCE!!

Glad that you got to visit with your Son. The Treadmill/Biggest Loser Workout seems like a Fun way to get in a Workout.

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FLORIDASUN 8/19/2012 9:04AM

    It's SO important to listen to your heart and today your heart told you to enjoy the BL tapes but you STILL did a fantastic work out in the process...I'm in awe...truly, truly in awe! emoticonWhat a fierce and wonderful example you are! emoticon

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MSLZZY 8/19/2012 8:29AM

    Just doing it and then, having a nice conversation with
your son. A win-win kind of day! You are awesome! HUGS!

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MIZCATHI 8/19/2012 7:35AM

    The great thing is that you now believe 119 min and 10.25 miles on the treadmill is slogging it out! Haha. My idea of that is sitting on the couch with DH watching endless hours of television.

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KASEYCOFF 8/19/2012 2:33AM

    Things happen the way you need 'em, when you need 'em, for the most part - is my philosophy. Love your 'tri' background pix - I haven't been by for awhile!

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SUNNY1432 8/18/2012 11:08PM

    AWESOME run!! I understand the need for quiet days, I'm trying to get in a few before school starts on Monday! emoticon!!

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KNEWMETODAY 8/18/2012 10:46PM

    It really is about making choices--whether it's food or exercise. We really do the right thing most of the time, I think.


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EBEAMS 8/18/2012 10:45PM

    Hip hip hurray for hearing from your son! THAT is such a wonderful gift! Oh, good job on sticking to the plan even though it wasn't what you first wanted!

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COMPUCATHY 8/18/2012 9:49PM

    I think you're awesome. I'm glad you got a message from matter how "small"...we appreciate it...I know...I'm right there with you. I'm proud of you for moving from Plan A to Plan B to Plan A. Atta girl! I'm watching Biggest Loser, too! I hadn't seen Seasons 1-4 before. That was fun. Now, I'm in Season 5 and that's where I began watching them...but it's fun to revisit them again. They really inspire me. I need all the inspiration I can get...and it's right there for the taking. Hope you have a great Sunday. Keep up the good work! Love your pictures! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon

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OPTIMIST1948 8/18/2012 9:43PM

    The difference between now and "before": Now you DO slog out the not-feelin' it days, and before you just ... watched BL on the couch. Thanks for posting it. I needed to hear that sometimes other people are feeling the same way I do sometimes.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/18/2012 9:07PM

    Awwwwww, so very glad you got an IM from your son. That makes the day, no matter how brief.

As for your day, well I'd say you did pretty dang well! 10.25 miles is not slogging it!

HUGS and sooo glad you got an IM from your son.

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LVMAMAW 8/18/2012 8:58PM

    Good for you! You did it! emoticon

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MNTWINSGAL 8/18/2012 8:54PM

    Hey, 10 miles is hardly "slogging" it! Two hours on the treadmill? In my dreams!

Glad you heard from your son too. That must've made your day! :)

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KARIDIAN1 8/18/2012 8:52PM

    Some days you just need to have some quiet time for yourself. Hope the rain was needed.

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Promised I'd show you these...

Friday, August 17, 2012

My story board of "fall down seven times, get up eight"!

My daughter in law thinks the next to last snap looks like I've run so hard I'm about to hurl... but really it was a trip and fall, I'm getting up, halfway there...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILPAT3 8/22/2012 10:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COMETER 8/21/2012 10:31PM

    These are great! Loving the hurling one!

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FITGRL124 8/20/2012 8:54PM

    You are so inspiring!!!!!

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OPTIMIST1948 8/18/2012 9:46PM

    Your expression in the 2nd (closeup) bike picture is incredible. You look like you are having so much fun!

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WATERMELLEN 8/18/2012 7:04PM

    So so so cool!! Love these pictures!

And: thanks for pointing out the At Goal name change. Guess we're all thinking along the same lines, a convergence or critical mass of conviction about spreading the word on maintaining. It's pretty exciting too!

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SHARON10002 8/18/2012 3:45PM

    Fabulous! You did great and look great! Especially in the tri-suit!

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HOT4FITNESS 8/18/2012 12:14PM

    All I can say is you are amazing!!

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SHEILA-45 8/18/2012 9:37AM

    You didn't fall...Something caught your eye and you wanted a close up look see...
Marathon mom! Way to go! You look AMAZING! emoticon

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    Barb, you just make me smile!
And make me get up off the chair to go walk!
See ya.

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PUDLECRAZY 8/18/2012 8:33AM

    You are amazing!

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BD3269PM 8/18/2012 7:19AM

    You look awesome! emoticon

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MIZCATHI 8/18/2012 6:46AM

    Wow, superwoman! I hate to fall, and you do it so well! These pictures tell a wonderful story.

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MRS.DOYLE 8/18/2012 5:32AM

    Ouch! That's the reason I packed the plasters the first time I went for a jog in my local park. Hubby thought that was hilarious. Luckily I didn't need them.

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KRISZTA11 8/18/2012 5:25AM

    You look amazing, thanks for sharing!
Thanks to your fantastic fitness level, your body saved you from getting hurt when you fell.

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WILLPARKINSON 8/18/2012 5:18AM

    Never admit to the fall. Just go with what your Daughter-in-law said. It makes you look that much tougher! :)

(Hope you're alright after you rocked that run!)

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MSLZZY 8/17/2012 11:39PM

    Aside from that one pic, you look awesome!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/17/2012 11:14PM

    Your Awesomeness . . . you look like you're having fun . . . actually having FUN coming out of the water! Way to go. If there's ever a question of whether or not I should try something out of my comfort zone, these are the pictures I'm going to look at, because the answer is YES! DO IT!

Way to go. Thanks for sharing the pictures, even of your fall.

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KARIDIAN1 8/17/2012 10:42PM

    Wow- you look great in the photos. What an accomplishment.

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ANDI571 8/17/2012 10:27PM

    You are so awesome! emoticon

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DEBRITA01 8/17/2012 10:26PM

    There's no keeping Spark People down! You rock, Barb! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 8/17/2012 10:14PM

    Dude. You crack me right up.



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MNTWINSGAL 8/17/2012 10:13PM

    There's a definite lesson for all of us in this storyboard. Way to Go Barb!

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HEALTHYOTTER 8/17/2012 9:41PM

    Thanks for the inspiration to keep going, no matter what!

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Doing it for our kids... and ourselves

Friday, August 17, 2012

My brother MOBYCARP's blog this morning made me cry. Because his next step in setting a goal was to support his daughter. Whether he recognizes this or not, his daughter, in the process, is supporting him and HIS fitness.

One of my Spark friends blogged last month about finding The Biggest Loser on Netflix... and sparked me to start streaming all the seasons, in sequence. When I got to season 4, where they started doing couples, including parents and children... it started me thinking about my own motivation over the years.

When I was young and losing weight to "look good"... I did it stupidly. I really didn't know better at that point, and I did some crazy stuff... which resulted in starting the cycle of loss/regain.

When I finally got serious about learning to do it right... it was because I had a son. At the time, he was a pre-schooler, and my fear was that in the shape I was in, I could fail as a parent in keeping HIM safe. I succeeded in that attempt to lose, beyond my expectations... but never reached my goal weight. A few years later, it unraveled, and I regained.

But by then I knew how to do it right... and every time I could scrape the motivation together, I did it again. But I would lose the motivation off and on, and lapse and regain. Still, I knew this was something I wanted, I just didn't always have the "oomph" to go for it.

More recent memories show that my son was supporting ME... when he came out of the basement while my marriage was ending, he took me in hand and said, "Come on, Mom, we're joining a gym." And we did... and supporting him in his efforts to get healthy I got healthier myself.

Life changes (I don't deal as well with change as I'd like to think) resulted in regains. But HE never gave up on me... he would cajole me into going to the park to shoot hoops, when all I could do was set shots... no fast breaks for his tubby mummy!

When he signed on the dotted line to defend our nation, he was pretty fit, and he was working hard to make sure he passed that physical fitness test before he got to boot camp. In supporting him... yep, mom was back on the wagon. I got pretty doggoned fit by the time he graduated boot camp. Even hired a personal trainer for the first time for myself in the process.

He got married, they moved out... I was doing pretty well until injury hit, then I once again backslid. Oh, and it wasn't just the injury, it was overcommitting to other stuff, and one thing I've learned about me is that when I get overwhelmed, taking care of me was the first thing that got dropped.

When my son was given orders to deploy... his wife came to me, wanting to sign on to lose weight herself. Guess what? To support HER, I went with her to the commercial weight loss program she had selected, and rebelling all the way about whether it could do what it said, signed up.

But I followed the program, and took up exercising again, and that was the beginning of THIS phase of healthy living. Gee, has it been 3 and a quarter years already?

I never wanted to go back... not even when my son was a pre-schooler. But that's not the point of this blog... it's about how huge a motivator our kids can be for us. We want to be there for them? We need to take care of ourselves. We need to hold that vision in our minds... of a long and functionally capable life... a life with quality to it... not pain.

Now, as my son is on his second overseas assignment, I am able to do things. Things I can write to him about, as well as experience for myself. Things to check off the list of "something I want to do before I exit, stage left". Some of them scare me... but each time I get to the goal line... I feel amazing.

Here's to the amazing moments of life... sponsored by our kids... who are not just watching, but cheering for us, and pulling us along.

Life IS good. Spark on! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KARIDIAN1 8/17/2012 10:56PM

    Wonderful Blog. And great reasons to improve yourself and others.

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DLDMIL 8/17/2012 5:45PM

    A great blog to think about why we are on this journey. We support our children not matter what they choose and yet find it hard sometimes to acknowledge that they are always there to support us as well. emoticon

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LVMAMAW 8/17/2012 2:26PM

    So true Barb! So true! emoticon emoticon

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SUNNY332 8/17/2012 12:58PM

    Great post and so true.

There is so much I want to do too before I exit stage left.

Thanks for a great post.


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MNTWINSGAL 8/17/2012 12:38PM

    It's true. Our children inspire us to do many things we might not do otherwise. It's a testament to the way they were raised. Be proud!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/17/2012 9:51AM

    Oh Barb . . . you are an inspiration. I am really trying to follow in your footsteps and stay BUSY whild DS is deployed.

**SIGH** It's so difficult sometimes. He did call for support the other night (very unexpectedly) as 3 of his commrades were killed by an IED and they were young men I met @ his graduation (they graduated together). So utterly sad. I listened, and encouraged him to talk w/the chaplain, fellow soldiers or BOTH and just keep talking . . . don't bottle it up.

I pray for our sons and daughters in the military daily, and our families.

So glad you have the support of your DIL and YOU'RE there to support her.


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MSLZZY 8/17/2012 9:46AM

    A living legacy for you and your son. Build a solid
relationship and keep working to make your life
the best it can be. Family support is everything
and the closeness you share is irreplaceable.
You are an inspiration! HUGS!

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MIZCATHI 8/17/2012 8:01AM

    Living to be a positive and healthy role model is a goal that is far reaching. With your support I am ready to embrace the lifestyle for good.

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WATERMELLEN 8/17/2012 7:54AM

    A bit like the instruction to put on our own oxygen masks first on the plane . . . we have to save ourselves to be in a position to help those who matter most to us.

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LEANJEAN6 8/17/2012 7:51AM

    Yeah Barb!!!! It's our kids that keep us going!--You care the most dedicated person to staying fit that I know of!--Lynda emoticon

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AZMOMXTWO 8/17/2012 7:50AM

  to do it for our kids is good but I find that change has to be for myself I can not do it for others unless I want it for myself but they all go together

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

The Final Frontier

Thursday, August 16, 2012

There has been an interesting discussion over on the At Goal and Maintaining team this past week. Link to the team here:

The discussion was originally Sparked by the featuring of an old article about "Secrets of the 5%"... which of course gives the dismal statistic that only about 5% of those of us who lose significant amounts of weight manage to keep it off long-term.

The discussion first centered around "is it (the 5% statistic) still true". A second wave of discussion pondered whether in fact we are elusive, or just rare... and if we ARE elusive / secretive / hiding from the world, why?

One commenter mentioned that over time both she and her circle of friends ceased thinking of her(self) as "a person who has lost a lot of weight" and begun thinking of her as simply "a healthy person".

That got me pondering (you know me) over how I consider myself. And I concluded that while she's right (I do think of myself as fit and healthy these days)... for me, the past relationship and present relationship with food will always be an element of my identity. I am, you see, a self-admitted, self-identified Compulsive Overeater. Kind of like being an alcoholic. You're never a recovered alcoholic (or compulsive eater)... you are a recoverING overeater.

That's not an easy image to project or even accept about yourself. People who didn't know you at your heaviest, that have only come to know you during a healthy period can't even imagine it. Most people don't "get" that a compulsive OVER eater can turn into a compulsive UNDER eater, and is in danger of that risk, as well.

So, for those of us in this category: the tools of maintenance are vital... and they are NOT about the scale. They are about maintaining a level of spiritual fitness, and physical behavior. They are about saving our lives, one day at a time.

One of the hallmarks of addiction recovery is acceptance of our affliction, and the willingness to do "whatever it takes". This was one of the things that Steve Siebold talks about in his Mental Toughness training course. It is also something I heard in the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous, and is written in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes to be successful.

Not everyone who has this issue is ready to accept its reality. Or willing to do that "whatever it takes" part. You don't see a lot of outreach. We are the self-identified, and self-selected.

But there is another item: those of us who are on this path are keenly aware of how little it takes to spiral back into the "active" as opposed to "recovering" addiction column. We don't like putting ourselves out there as examples, because when we subsequently fail (as humans invariably do) to be "perfect"... it is devastating not just for our personal benefit, but for how we perceive our image.

It's hard to come crawling back. That's why when I lapse I write about it, almost right away. It sets me straight. Here's the HOPE part of the message... when we do get honest and overcome the resistance to coming back? We are always welcomed. Those in recovery KNOW what it's like to lapse and have to climb back up. We've been in that hole before.

Not everyone who is overweight is a compulsive eater. Each individual has his or her own challenges. But all maintainers know it's not easy to keep it off: motivation has to be tended to, daily.

Here's to ALL the maintainers... that work their lives for balance... that embrace the willingness... one day at a time, here in the Final Frontier called maintenance.

Life is good. Spark on! emoticon

Late addition: a link to the specific discussion I mention above.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSIEMT 9/13/2012 10:14AM

    Well said! You have just given hope to those of us that need it.

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ADAMM9 9/11/2012 1:50PM

    Excellent blog! Very well said. Thank you for sharing!

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AMARILYNH 9/6/2012 7:40AM

    Wonderful blog - thanks for putting into words what many of us are dealing with one day at a time!!

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DOODIE59 9/5/2012 9:31AM

    Wow. This wasn't just helpful and motivational -- it was full of hope and courage, as well. Thank you for sharing a lesson we all need to learn and hold on to.
Have a great day:)

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    WOW--that was fantastic. Why did it take me so long to find this blog? I thought I checked popular blog posts every single day.

I hope I can be in that 5% who maintain over the long haul. But I'm sure going to do as you suggested--come clean right HERE, when I relapse. I have committed to do anything it takes to stay among that 5%. And you say that is one of the things we must do--ANYTHING we can!!! It is good to know the community here at Spark will welcome me back no matter what! We're all in this together and that has got to help!

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MEGAMINION 9/2/2012 7:51PM

    I found your latest blog today and went to your page and wow I was impressed My overall take away was if she can do it, I can do it.
then I found the final frontier blog. I thank you so much for that blog. I am a compulsive overeater and to "meet" someone who has sucessfully beaten the monster into submission means alot to me. and for you to say you still stumble, does not scare me, it inspires me to reach the place in my journey where a stumble is just a stumble and I get right back to where i need to be. I have no illusion of being cured or being rid of the monster. but I can be in charge of my life and I can make good decisions and I can be happier and healthier. I can do more than just get through each day, I want to enjoy my life and look forward to the years ahead of me. Thank you for the inspiration of being human and healthy.

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MANILUS 9/1/2012 6:44PM

    Wonderful blog, keep up the great work!!!!

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KANOE10 9/1/2012 9:12AM

    Weight is managed not cured. You are so to day vigilance is the key to maintenance! Great blog.

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PCASEY7 8/31/2012 10:18PM

    Great blog! Great perspective from someone who has been there! Keep up the great writing.

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POPSY190 8/31/2012 7:59PM

    Great blog. I think your resolution about writing about lapses is VERY helpful. I'll be doing this myself as I tend to go into denial - writing it down will make me face the reality! As another compulsive overeater I know how hard it is to move among people who have no idea of what it's like. That's the beauty of the At G and M+ transitioning team - there's ALWAYS somewone there who understands, empathises and helps.

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NAVYMOM133 8/31/2012 12:20PM

    Thank you! Excellent blog. I, too, need to constant vigilance.
Congrats on being a "healthy person" and a generous person, sharing your perspective and personal obstacles, goals and successes!

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GREENMOUSE 8/31/2012 9:32AM

    Well-said. Thank you!

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KASEYCOFF 8/31/2012 2:49AM

    As always, I love the way your mind works--! Your measured, thoughtful approach to these issues we all have in common is inspiring, but also so eminently practical, full of genuine help... which is right up there with 'hope,' ain't?

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CAROLJEAN64 8/30/2012 10:08PM

    Thanks for writing a message for all maintainers.

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CAROLISCIOUS 8/30/2012 8:35PM

    I am a "Steve" grad too. I was slipping a bit last year. A friend gave me Steve's website and it turned me around. I totally get what you say about the fear of failure, gaining all the weight back. I try to give myself as many "accountabilities" as I can...I intend to never go back.

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MYSTERY-LADY1 8/30/2012 8:12PM


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SLENDERELLA61 8/30/2012 6:48PM

    Brilliant blog! So very true.

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MKELLY72 8/30/2012 4:25PM

    Thank you! I have often thought of this in terms of AA myself, and it is a daily journey of decisions to continue staying the course.

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MRSRACHELS 8/30/2012 3:00PM

    awesome blog loved it!!! Thank you!!

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TUBLADY 8/30/2012 1:30PM

    Thank you for bring this to peoples awareness.
You mention Steve Siebold, I graduated from his "Mental Toughness ". I still refer back to those 21 days and the questions and how I answered them.
I wasn't an over eater. Different things happened that caused me to give up at a point in my life and I let negative in and hence I lost control. I just didn't care for a while. But I over came that and lost 200 lbs. Have maintained for one year. I am now stronger mentally and physically than I was 15 years ago. And I am going to be 71 in December. But age is just a number. Because of my positive attitude and desire to remain healthy and fit, I will continue to evolve and age is irrelevant. At least that's how I feel now. Smile!!
Congratulations on all you have achieved. My best to you in the years to come.
Be strong, stay positive.
Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 8/30/2012 1:09PM

    I have periods in my life as an over-eater. I am glad to see this brought to light in such concise manner. emoticon emoticon

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BESTSUSIEYET 8/30/2012 12:50PM

    Thanks for sharing this journey with us! It made me reflect on my Maintenance Journey. I'll post those thoughts in a blog of my own, instead of as a comment here. You are a big encouragement!

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PRESBESS 8/30/2012 11:51AM

    Well, you sure said a mouth full! Awesome blog my fellow SP maintainter! I really like the line where you said "motivation has to be tended to, daily." So, so true. Daily!
emoticon emoticon

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CLAIREINPARIS 8/30/2012 11:06AM

    Thank you for a very interesting blog! I am nowhere near maintenance, but I agree with you that it takes a life-long commitment to maintain weight gain, and lots of honesty too.

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LIVNFITNHAPPY 8/30/2012 10:56AM

    What an insightful, heartfelt Blog from someone who walks the walk every day! Thank you for sharing. Those of us on "maintenance" do need that continuing support for the rest of our lives. We have to keep re-inventing our motivation and redefining our goals as time moves on.

Blessings to you and ALL on this journey!

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LVMAMAW 8/30/2012 10:47AM

    Thank you for this great blog! It is so much easier to deal with this Maintenance routine realizing I am not alone! You are such an inspiration, Thank You!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MNJONES2 8/30/2012 10:42AM

    Great blog! Thank you for reminding us all that maintaining is still work every day.
I had not thought about the compulsive over/under eating before, and I appreciate learning that.

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JEANNE-SWEETIE 8/30/2012 9:59AM

  Maintenance is tough! Although I've been about 25 pounds over my weight, I did not like it. In the beginning, I took off the 25 pounds because of my knees. I never gave it a thought of maintaining was helped by the lessons in AA. Yes, it is one day at a time; and some days making a decision to eat healthier is harder than other days. Good to hear how others are maintaining. emoticon emoticon

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EGALITAIRE 8/30/2012 9:28AM

    Well written and thought-through concepts. They resonated with me on the level of diet and healthfulness, as well as in a number of other areas. We are all a work-in-progress, enjoying a journey along a spectrum of where/who/how we are now to where/who/how we desire to be.

Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts.

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JENNYR0506 8/30/2012 9:24AM

    "We are the self-identified, and self-selected."

This is the part that resonated with me. Each of us has the privilege, or problem, of declaring our own status as a Maintainer. But one of my problems with maintenance is that it has been a moving target, of sorts.

My first weight goal was 150, then I dropped to 130. Now I bounce around 140 to 145. I am still half in weight loss mode and have no clue how to transition into maintenance mode permanently, either mentally or physically. How can you proclaim residence in 'Maintenance-ville' if you don't know that you have arrived?

It makes it harder that it is up to me. What should my weight be? Should I be actively trying to lose more weight (I'm 5"4') or not? I knew that my start weight (190 lbs) was wrong for me, but what is right for me?

I have lost a lot of weight and I am proud of that. I have lost 32% of my highest weight - that's enough to get me an honorable mention on Biggest Loser - but I have gained 8 to 12% back from my lowest of 130. Does that cancel my citizenship in M-ville?

Still trying to figure this out! Glad we are all here to figure it out together!


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HOUNDLOVER1 8/30/2012 9:16AM

    Great blog! You expressed so well that we are all on a journey and always will be. For some the journey is harder than others but we all have good and bad moments and have to work hard to make it through the bad ones while enjoying the good ones with all our heart because we only get the chance to live this life once. emoticon

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ON2VICTORY 8/30/2012 9:00AM

    this is excellent! VERY well done :)

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THECRAZYMANGO 8/30/2012 8:55AM

    I really liked the part about always being the recovering overeater. As more time passes, I realize this is so true for me. Lately, I have noticed when I am eating something amazing good like pie I just want to eat it all until there is none left.. Thanks for the great blog!

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LAURIE5658 8/30/2012 8:44AM

    Like you things are finally clicking with maintaining the weight lost. My secret like yours is one day at a time.

Congratulations! emoticon

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LYNNE114 8/30/2012 8:31AM

    Your idea about writing about the lapse really struck home with me. I am not sure I would consider myself addicted to eating, but I certainly do love it. And there are the trigger foods that somehow shout louder than the voice in my head telling me that enough is enough. Tracking is my form of exorcising the bad feelings about the lapse and getting back ON track. I find that forcing myself to enter the extra calories on the food tracker is a good way to show myself what I just did to myself and to reinforce my commitment to not let it continue. In that way, I get right back on the healthy lifestyle wagon and ride on! Thanks for a great blog.

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LORILEEPAGE 8/30/2012 8:30AM

    Thank you for this blog. I agree that after a time at goal weight, you finally recognize the new healthy person you've become and are striving to maintain. And yet there's always that monster inside me that is just crouching at my door waiting for me to go into an off week and never quite getting my footing back. I maintained a 75 pound weight loss for 6 years, then slowly I gained back 15. I've recently (this time with SP) lost it and just joined the AT GOAL AND MAINTAINING team. I think I will find strength in numbers!

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ISHIIGIRL 8/30/2012 7:45AM

    I really appreciate your comments on this. I especially like your comments about going from being an over eater to an under eater. I so often see people replace their food addictions with exercise addictions. Instead of addressing the reason they have the addiction, they just replace one with another. I think this is the tricky part of maintenance and why it so easy to relapse. Staying in that place of balance with both food and nutrition and taking care of your spiritual as well as your physical self is a hard battle. Thanks for shedding some light on food addictions and the struggle we face as lifetime maintainers. Great job!

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NELLJONES 8/30/2012 7:36AM

    The first step of any 12 Step program of recovery is acceptance of the problem. The other 11 steps are about the mental, emotional and spiritual changes we make in ourselves to stay on the path to recovery and grow with those changes. Those 12 Steps are not a "cure" but a reprieve, contingent on any day by our spiritual condition. That requires awareness that our intuitions are probably not in our best interest, and gratitude that there is a way to move toward recovery by conscious action.

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NEW-CAZ 8/30/2012 7:28AM

    Well said, great blog! emoticon

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GOING4MUSCLE 8/28/2012 8:09PM


Love your background photos, also! That, right there, shows just how strong a woman you are. emoticon

For myself, I always used to, silently drift away from Spark, if I began to see I was losing control of my weight. Always felt embarrassed that I was a failure, again. Luckily, though, I've learned, as you have, that THIS is the best place to be, as the majority of us *losers* are professional yo-yo players, so we all understand the struggle.

It has now been over two years, since I've entered the maintenance world. I'm doing my best to beat the 5% day at a time. emoticon

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SWEDE_SU 8/28/2012 1:17PM

    thought provoking blog - i have an addictive personality and trigger foods set me off. i can carefully count out the right number of pistachio nuts for a portion, and then go back for more... and more... and more. needless to say, they were off the shopping list. i like your advice of one day at a time, we are human. and a mess up means just straightening out again. i've been on the yoyo journey many times, which is why i think it is important focus on maintaining - and active process, like losing weight was an active process. i want to be one of the 5% this time.

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GETFIT2LIVE 8/28/2012 1:08PM

    Very well stated, thank you for sharing! Maintenance is a challenge, as much if not more than losing, and we need to be willing to embrace the challenge if we are going to be part of that minority (and start changing the numbers). Honestly recognizing what caused us to gain in the past and being willing to do what it takes to keep the weight off is essential.

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DDOORN 8/28/2012 8:23AM

    Many great points, but for me...still working on clawing back from a re-gain, this was the most important takeaway:

"They are about maintaining a level of spiritual fitness, and physical behavior. They are about saving our lives, one day at a time."

Working on the stuff underneath the actual mechanics of weight loss. The emotions, spiritual connections with the world. I know THAT is the work that will make a healthy lifestyle sustainable.


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CELIAMINER 8/28/2012 7:08AM

    What a GREAT blog! I like the notion that I'm saving my life one day at a time. Thank you so much for sharing your triumphs and your failures, for letting us know it's okay to be human and not inevitable that we will fail.

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MEDDYPEDDY 8/17/2012 1:22AM

    Very well written - I remember when I stopped smoking 20 years ago. It took some years before I change my identity from "a smoker that is currently not smoking" to "a non-smoker"

With alcohol - I never got around to define myself as an alcoholic before I stoppd, as I did it with the help of AA I ironically define myself as an alcoholic today when I am not drinking at all... but I have never thought about defining myself as a "teetotaller" (found the word in my dctionary, never heard of it in english but the swedish word "nykterist" means somebody that stays away from alcohol for moral, ethic, political or other reasons, not because of problems with it)

The difference with food is that I am always going to be a compulsive overeater. - the struggle is if I am going to be a COE in recovery or not...

I think I will try to define myself as a healthy person - although I am not quite there to impersonate that body yet...

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COMETER 8/16/2012 11:01PM

    Thanks for the post--interesting thread!

The addiction themes ring true to me.

I appreciate the thoughtfulness that you combine with your experience--thanks for that!

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MOBYCARP 8/16/2012 9:00PM

    I want to believe that there are a lot of people out there maintaining a healthy weight who simply stopped coming here because they didn't need to any more.

So far, I'm not one of those people. I did a fair imitation of being one when work got hectic, tracking food and exercise but not blogging much or doing much with my Spark Teams; but I still needed the site to stay on track.

I am not a compulsive overeater, but tracking and paying attention has pointed out some things I tend to do unconsciously if I don't make a conscious effort to not do them or to control how much I do them. Some of this ties into food, a lot ties into sleep patterns. I'm beginning to think that my lapses of staying up too late when I'm tired anyway are psychologically like overeating binges.

And that's where the support aspect comes in. For me, it's not so much the cheering as the thoughtful commentary on what the various individual journeys are like. My journey is not exactly like anyone else's journey, but I find commonalities in various places. Some are expected, some are not. The similarity between binge eating and binge staying awake give me something to think about . . . and a reason to make an effort to get to bed on time.

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LVMAMAW 8/16/2012 1:29PM

    Great Blog! You have stated it well! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUNNY332 8/16/2012 12:37PM

    Just read your blog which helped affirm my goal today to stay away from the Lemon Thins in my pantry. My, my, my!

Hugs, Sunny

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MIZCATHI 8/16/2012 12:20PM

    Lately I've been spending some time watching a show "Intervention", about people who have really crossed the line into addictions and their enablers. Some of these folks that I've seen are completely changed by their addictions with a complete loss of personality and drive.

It's so obvious that they cannot go near their drugs of choice or risk spiraling out of control.

I've come to the conclusion that "trigger" foods signal my addiction to overeating. It sends me spiraling into a "I don't care" mode, when of course the deepest part of me cares more than I can express. My addictive personality takes over, keeping the true me from looking beyond my addiction.

I cannot and must not forget where I came from. A cookie plays way too much into who I am, and if I am not careful, my mental attitude can come crumbling down around me.

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OTHER stuff

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Figured I'd at least mention that I got new glasses and give a mug shot of me in them. This happened over the last couple of weeks, and it was indeed high time.

This is short because I'm out of time... got to head out the door to work, but I'm saying "hi", and wishing my Spark buds a great Wednesday. Remember, we're worth taking care of, and here we are to Spark on!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEANJEAN6 8/16/2012 6:46AM

    It's me again just dropping in to say hello--looking for yer blog girl!-Lynda

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_LINDA 8/15/2012 11:43PM

    Those look fabulous on you!! perfect choice!!

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 8/15/2012 10:06PM


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KARIDIAN1 8/15/2012 9:25PM

    I like the new glasses. I had a pair similar for a few days, but they kept slipping and and the bifocals would be in the wrong place. I had to exchange them for a pair of wire frames so the nose pieces could be adjusted.

Those look really good on you.

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SUNNY332 8/15/2012 9:23PM

    Isn't it fun to get new glasses?

I love the color and the shape fits your face.

Loved the pic!


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WATERMELLEN 8/15/2012 8:29PM

    Great colour for your skin/hair and great shape for your eyebrow arch/ face!!

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SUNNYWBL 8/15/2012 7:07PM

    Nice glasses. are they for reading or all-the-time wear?

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MSLZZY 8/15/2012 9:47AM

    Love your new glasses and thanks for sharing the
pic. Have a Happy Hump day! HUGS!

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MNTWINSGAL 8/15/2012 9:46AM

    Hi back at ya, and looking good! :)

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1CRAZYDOG 8/15/2012 9:08AM

    They suit you to a "T"! Like the picture very much. Have a great Tuesday. HUGS

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KALIGIRL 8/15/2012 8:40AM

    Cool 'un'shades lady!

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LEANJEAN6 8/15/2012 8:14AM

    New glasses are the best Barb!---You look great in them--but the best is--you must see better with them--Spark on my inspiration!-Lynda emoticon

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MARATHON_MOM 8/15/2012 8:08AM

    Hi!! emoticon

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TELFERS01 8/15/2012 8:02AM

  You go!

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