ONEKIDSMOM   133,768
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If you're going to be a people pleaser... who should you please?

Monday, August 20, 2012

The old song says, "You can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself!"

But I have to say a close second was seeing the grin on my doctor's face... two years ago, and again last year, when we had our annual visit.

Since last year, my medical history has changed... I now have a sister who is a cancer survivor... at last's year's appointment I was still saying no family history of cancer. And this year we discovered my allergy to penicillin... which was humorous even while being very uncomfy and put my training plans back a ways.

BUT the important thing is that we got past that. I'm really pleased that I got past that side track, back in the training swing and finished what I set as goals for myself. Recovery from illness or injury is one of the great lessons of life. We have to get up at the end and keep going, and keep being patient with our bodies through reality.

I'm looking forward to fulfilling the rest of the year's planned events, too, and especially that big trip in November to run ... in Florida ... with Marsha.

Of course, she's had a side-track, too, with a foot injury. So it is my hope and prayer that she is able to recover from that and come back to train. And Marsha, even if we WALK each step of the way, we WILL finish. Recovery comes first. Achievement of goals follows.

So, have I done it? Pleased myself? Yeah, I'd have to say that I have.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 8/22/2012 1:25AM

    In pleasing yourself, you have inadvertently pleased others -your loved ones will be pleased that you are doing everything possible to hang around longer on this Earth :))
Keep on being amazing!

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ANDI571 8/21/2012 9:26PM

    Do you ever get tired of hearing how awesome you are. When I get down, I always think of what you have accomplished. emoticon

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DEBRA0818 8/21/2012 6:04AM

    Way to go, Barb! I'm guessing your doc doesn't get to see many like you in the course of the day. You're probably an inspiration to him too!


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KARIDIAN1 8/20/2012 10:53PM

    Sure is a good feeling when your doctor is happy with your checkup. i know mine has been.

You are so generous to be willing to take a slower pace for your friend Marsha if she isn't 100% for your run in Florida. Plus you will have the fun of doing it together all the way.

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LEANJEAN6 8/20/2012 9:19PM

    You are SO SO good to see that blog----horrible when the big desktop quits----I love yer photos--so nice----Lynda emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 8/20/2012 8:57PM

    Thanks, Barb. Not totally healed, but making progress. We will make it!!! -Marsha

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SUNNY332 8/20/2012 8:28PM

    You have a lot to look forward to, Barb.

Hope Marsha heals and is back to her training soon.


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LJCANNON 8/20/2012 7:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonYou have Pleased Yourself alrighty, but along the way you have Inspired so Many Others, and led the way to Us Pleasing Ourselves, too!!
So glad that you are My Friend!!

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WILMASOTO 8/20/2012 3:03PM

    Love your blog as alaways! So motivating! Way to go on pleasing yourself!! I love that!! You are an amazing example to all of us and just to let you know you please me aswell. Each victory you have convinces me that if I try hard enough I can accomplish all my goals.

Continue enjoy your life!! You are truely amazing!

Wilma emoticon

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RONNIEHUEY 8/20/2012 1:02PM

    Please your self! Who cares about the rest of the world emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/20/2012 11:51AM

    Great song! Rich Nelson (a real heart throb then!) "Garden Party". So true, too.

You rock! Keep on reaching for the stars.

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MSLZZY 8/20/2012 11:39AM

    Just as it should be-please yourself. You have come a
long way! HUGS!

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MARIO432 8/20/2012 10:58AM

    Well put

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KALIGIRL 8/20/2012 8:47AM

    Sorry about the allergic reaction, but glad you're OK - love the photo background - especially the end to the swim!

Here's to LIVING life - whatever it hands us!
Namaste my friend.

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EBEAMS 8/20/2012 8:46AM

    You go, girl ... Attitude is EVERYTHING! emoticon

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PROFMOM4 8/20/2012 8:22AM

    Good for you! What a great feeling!

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CMKARLS 8/20/2012 8:13AM


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No matter how much you wish it...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

you cannot live someone else's life for them. You can't feel / heal their pain. You can lift them up. You can offer encouragement. You can share what you have experienced. But their life / struggle is THEIR victory story, not yours.

Why this warning today? Because a friend just got some pretty awful news and oh, how I wish I could take her worry / anxiety away. But I can't.

Now, on to the warning:

Nothing I can do will exempt my friend from working out her own life. But I have choices about MY life and what I do in the face of knowing about it.

I could use it as an excuse to go off program: "being on program doesn't fix anything". What is that all about? It's all about not having realistic expectations of the program.

I can use it as a reason to remain committed. The program is not going to magically fix all the pains of life. But it will help me face them better.

I could try to feel every drop of negative in my imagination of "what if I got similar news"? I could wallow in that pain, imagining I was somehow helping her. But this would not take one whit away from what my friend is going through.

So... I can instead pray for my friend's comfort. Because I believe there is One who *can* hold her up and comfort and ease her far better than little me. And I can trust that prayer, and the prayers of everyone else on my friend's behalf.

May all who are going through difficult times today find a spark of comfort and beauty today. God give them exactly what they need today. And may God guide me and their other friends in whatever way will help that process!

Today, choose wisely. emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYWBL 8/24/2012 7:25PM

    This was good for me to read today. My daughter is visiting from Philadelphia and has regained most of the weight that she had lost.She is back in 30/32s. I need to see what I can do to support her in her long journey!

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DEBRA0818 8/20/2012 6:40AM

    Excellent blog, Barb. There are no end of opportunities to become enmeshed in someone else's problems and thereby drop one's own. I needed to read this today having had a houseguest for the last few days who is walking demand for help of all kinds, but also a person to whom help and advice feels demeaning, so even more reason to keep the boundaries in place.

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_LINDA 8/20/2012 12:58AM

    So very sorry about your friend's news :(( I am sure you will deal with it and her with your usual wisdom, compassion and prayers. You are an amazing strong woman and your friend will appreciate that strength now..
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOOK2LOVELIFE 8/19/2012 10:18PM

    Thanks for sharing. Very wise thoughts. emoticon

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KARIDIAN1 8/19/2012 6:06PM

    I hope your friend can get through this rough time okay. As always another thought provoking blog. Prayer can work wonders.

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MSLZZY 8/19/2012 12:39PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ALOHAEV1 8/19/2012 12:16PM

    There aren't enough hugs for your wise words today, and to our other dear Barb we are right here for you. AMEN

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MNTWINSGAL 8/19/2012 11:10AM

    One of the beauties of SparkPeople is that when bad (or good) things happen, we band together, to comfort and console, to celebrate and congratulate....even to those friends we only know virtually. You have written a beautiful blog about your friend's troubles, and in doing so gathered up more prayers to go up.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/19/2012 10:58AM

    Dear, dear, dear Barb. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I KNOW that John does NOT want me to sit around grieving, and I certainly have learned by YOUR example. Do things to honor our sons/daughters in the military. THAT makes the biggest impact.

So, today, my assignment is just breathing, eating right and that's it. That's all I can manage. But I know I will NOT emotionally eat. I will NOT slide back into unhealthy ways.

HUGS and you have NOT idea how I appreciate you.

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WATERMELLEN 8/19/2012 10:21AM

    Wise. And profound. And compassionate.

The comfort of food as a remedy for stress is temporary. And delusional.

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EBEAMS 8/19/2012 9:33AM

    AMEN! emoticon

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LEFTHANDLUKE 8/19/2012 9:30AM


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DEBRITA01 8/19/2012 9:28AM

    emoticonand prayers for your friend.

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Slogging it out

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Some days you just aren't feeling the workout plan. But you just slog it out there. Today was such a day. I debated doing a bike ride instead of the planned "long run", and got so far as to pump up the tires and fill the camel back. Then I went to let the cat out and discovered rain drops on the deck.

Which was enough to change my plans, and drive me back into my cave. Swapped the bike shorts for running shorts, and put the treadmill and Netflix to good use. I've been working my way through old seasons of The Biggest Loser, and they are pretty incredible for getting through the boredom of a treadmill interval workout. And I slogged it out, in 119 minutes, 10.25 miles.

Some time after that, showered and lunched, an IM conversation window popped up, from my son, halfway 'round the world. Nothing fancy, just the hi, we're both still breathing sort of conversation I have come to expect once a week if I'm lucky.

And I made it through the day behaving well, no recurrance of the bingy stuff from last weekend (I did eat well, and in maintenance range). And recognized that this quiet day by myself was exactly what I needed today. Even to the slogging it out workout. Some days just have to be low key.

Life continues to be good. Spark on. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBRA0818 8/20/2012 6:36AM

    I like the low key kind of days more and more as I go on and what a great idea to watch the BL while working out!

Go, Barb!


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LJCANNON 8/19/2012 10:42PM

    emoticonYou are FIERCE!!

Glad that you got to visit with your Son. The Treadmill/Biggest Loser Workout seems like a Fun way to get in a Workout.

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FLORIDASUN 8/19/2012 9:04AM

    It's SO important to listen to your heart and today your heart told you to enjoy the BL tapes but you STILL did a fantastic work out in the process...I'm in awe...truly, truly in awe! emoticonWhat a fierce and wonderful example you are! emoticon

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MSLZZY 8/19/2012 8:29AM

    Just doing it and then, having a nice conversation with
your son. A win-win kind of day! You are awesome! HUGS!

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MIZCATHI 8/19/2012 7:35AM

    The great thing is that you now believe 119 min and 10.25 miles on the treadmill is slogging it out! Haha. My idea of that is sitting on the couch with DH watching endless hours of television.

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KASEYCOFF 8/19/2012 2:33AM

    Things happen the way you need 'em, when you need 'em, for the most part - is my philosophy. Love your 'tri' background pix - I haven't been by for awhile!

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SUNNY1432 8/18/2012 11:08PM

    AWESOME run!! I understand the need for quiet days, I'm trying to get in a few before school starts on Monday! emoticon!!

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KNEWMETODAY 8/18/2012 10:46PM

    It really is about making choices--whether it's food or exercise. We really do the right thing most of the time, I think.


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EBEAMS 8/18/2012 10:45PM

    Hip hip hurray for hearing from your son! THAT is such a wonderful gift! Oh, good job on sticking to the plan even though it wasn't what you first wanted!

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COMPUCATHY 8/18/2012 9:49PM

    I think you're awesome. I'm glad you got a message from matter how "small"...we appreciate it...I know...I'm right there with you. I'm proud of you for moving from Plan A to Plan B to Plan A. Atta girl! I'm watching Biggest Loser, too! I hadn't seen Seasons 1-4 before. That was fun. Now, I'm in Season 5 and that's where I began watching them...but it's fun to revisit them again. They really inspire me. I need all the inspiration I can get...and it's right there for the taking. Hope you have a great Sunday. Keep up the good work! Love your pictures! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon

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OPTIMIST1948 8/18/2012 9:43PM

    The difference between now and "before": Now you DO slog out the not-feelin' it days, and before you just ... watched BL on the couch. Thanks for posting it. I needed to hear that sometimes other people are feeling the same way I do sometimes.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/18/2012 9:07PM

    Awwwwww, so very glad you got an IM from your son. That makes the day, no matter how brief.

As for your day, well I'd say you did pretty dang well! 10.25 miles is not slogging it!

HUGS and sooo glad you got an IM from your son.

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LVMAMAW 8/18/2012 8:58PM

    Good for you! You did it! emoticon

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MNTWINSGAL 8/18/2012 8:54PM

    Hey, 10 miles is hardly "slogging" it! Two hours on the treadmill? In my dreams!

Glad you heard from your son too. That must've made your day! :)

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KARIDIAN1 8/18/2012 8:52PM

    Some days you just need to have some quiet time for yourself. Hope the rain was needed.

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Promised I'd show you these...

Friday, August 17, 2012

My story board of "fall down seven times, get up eight"!

My daughter in law thinks the next to last snap looks like I've run so hard I'm about to hurl... but really it was a trip and fall, I'm getting up, halfway there...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILPAT3 8/22/2012 10:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COMETER 8/21/2012 10:31PM

    These are great! Loving the hurling one!

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FITGRL124 8/20/2012 8:54PM

    You are so inspiring!!!!!

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OPTIMIST1948 8/18/2012 9:46PM

    Your expression in the 2nd (closeup) bike picture is incredible. You look like you are having so much fun!

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WATERMELLEN 8/18/2012 7:04PM

    So so so cool!! Love these pictures!

And: thanks for pointing out the At Goal name change. Guess we're all thinking along the same lines, a convergence or critical mass of conviction about spreading the word on maintaining. It's pretty exciting too!

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SHARON10002 8/18/2012 3:45PM

    Fabulous! You did great and look great! Especially in the tri-suit!

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HOT4FITNESS 8/18/2012 12:14PM

    All I can say is you are amazing!!

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SHEILA-45 8/18/2012 9:37AM

    You didn't fall...Something caught your eye and you wanted a close up look see...
Marathon mom! Way to go! You look AMAZING! emoticon

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    Barb, you just make me smile!
And make me get up off the chair to go walk!
See ya.

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PUDLECRAZY 8/18/2012 8:33AM

    You are amazing!

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BD3269PM 8/18/2012 7:19AM

    You look awesome! emoticon

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MIZCATHI 8/18/2012 6:46AM

    Wow, superwoman! I hate to fall, and you do it so well! These pictures tell a wonderful story.

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MRS.DOYLE 8/18/2012 5:32AM

    Ouch! That's the reason I packed the plasters the first time I went for a jog in my local park. Hubby thought that was hilarious. Luckily I didn't need them.

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KRISZTA11 8/18/2012 5:25AM

    You look amazing, thanks for sharing!
Thanks to your fantastic fitness level, your body saved you from getting hurt when you fell.

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WILLPARKINSON 8/18/2012 5:18AM

    Never admit to the fall. Just go with what your Daughter-in-law said. It makes you look that much tougher! :)

(Hope you're alright after you rocked that run!)

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MSLZZY 8/17/2012 11:39PM

    Aside from that one pic, you look awesome!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/17/2012 11:14PM

    Your Awesomeness . . . you look like you're having fun . . . actually having FUN coming out of the water! Way to go. If there's ever a question of whether or not I should try something out of my comfort zone, these are the pictures I'm going to look at, because the answer is YES! DO IT!

Way to go. Thanks for sharing the pictures, even of your fall.

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KARIDIAN1 8/17/2012 10:42PM

    Wow- you look great in the photos. What an accomplishment.

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ANDI571 8/17/2012 10:27PM

    You are so awesome! emoticon

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DEBRITA01 8/17/2012 10:26PM

    There's no keeping Spark People down! You rock, Barb! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 8/17/2012 10:14PM

    Dude. You crack me right up.



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MNTWINSGAL 8/17/2012 10:13PM

    There's a definite lesson for all of us in this storyboard. Way to Go Barb!

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HEALTHYOTTER 8/17/2012 9:41PM

    Thanks for the inspiration to keep going, no matter what!

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Doing it for our kids... and ourselves

Friday, August 17, 2012

My brother MOBYCARP's blog this morning made me cry. Because his next step in setting a goal was to support his daughter. Whether he recognizes this or not, his daughter, in the process, is supporting him and HIS fitness.

One of my Spark friends blogged last month about finding The Biggest Loser on Netflix... and sparked me to start streaming all the seasons, in sequence. When I got to season 4, where they started doing couples, including parents and children... it started me thinking about my own motivation over the years.

When I was young and losing weight to "look good"... I did it stupidly. I really didn't know better at that point, and I did some crazy stuff... which resulted in starting the cycle of loss/regain.

When I finally got serious about learning to do it right... it was because I had a son. At the time, he was a pre-schooler, and my fear was that in the shape I was in, I could fail as a parent in keeping HIM safe. I succeeded in that attempt to lose, beyond my expectations... but never reached my goal weight. A few years later, it unraveled, and I regained.

But by then I knew how to do it right... and every time I could scrape the motivation together, I did it again. But I would lose the motivation off and on, and lapse and regain. Still, I knew this was something I wanted, I just didn't always have the "oomph" to go for it.

More recent memories show that my son was supporting ME... when he came out of the basement while my marriage was ending, he took me in hand and said, "Come on, Mom, we're joining a gym." And we did... and supporting him in his efforts to get healthy I got healthier myself.

Life changes (I don't deal as well with change as I'd like to think) resulted in regains. But HE never gave up on me... he would cajole me into going to the park to shoot hoops, when all I could do was set shots... no fast breaks for his tubby mummy!

When he signed on the dotted line to defend our nation, he was pretty fit, and he was working hard to make sure he passed that physical fitness test before he got to boot camp. In supporting him... yep, mom was back on the wagon. I got pretty doggoned fit by the time he graduated boot camp. Even hired a personal trainer for the first time for myself in the process.

He got married, they moved out... I was doing pretty well until injury hit, then I once again backslid. Oh, and it wasn't just the injury, it was overcommitting to other stuff, and one thing I've learned about me is that when I get overwhelmed, taking care of me was the first thing that got dropped.

When my son was given orders to deploy... his wife came to me, wanting to sign on to lose weight herself. Guess what? To support HER, I went with her to the commercial weight loss program she had selected, and rebelling all the way about whether it could do what it said, signed up.

But I followed the program, and took up exercising again, and that was the beginning of THIS phase of healthy living. Gee, has it been 3 and a quarter years already?

I never wanted to go back... not even when my son was a pre-schooler. But that's not the point of this blog... it's about how huge a motivator our kids can be for us. We want to be there for them? We need to take care of ourselves. We need to hold that vision in our minds... of a long and functionally capable life... a life with quality to it... not pain.

Now, as my son is on his second overseas assignment, I am able to do things. Things I can write to him about, as well as experience for myself. Things to check off the list of "something I want to do before I exit, stage left". Some of them scare me... but each time I get to the goal line... I feel amazing.

Here's to the amazing moments of life... sponsored by our kids... who are not just watching, but cheering for us, and pulling us along.

Life IS good. Spark on! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KARIDIAN1 8/17/2012 10:56PM

    Wonderful Blog. And great reasons to improve yourself and others.

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DLDMIL 8/17/2012 5:45PM

    A great blog to think about why we are on this journey. We support our children not matter what they choose and yet find it hard sometimes to acknowledge that they are always there to support us as well. emoticon

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LVMAMAW 8/17/2012 2:26PM

    So true Barb! So true! emoticon emoticon

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SUNNY332 8/17/2012 12:58PM

    Great post and so true.

There is so much I want to do too before I exit stage left.

Thanks for a great post.


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MNTWINSGAL 8/17/2012 12:38PM

    It's true. Our children inspire us to do many things we might not do otherwise. It's a testament to the way they were raised. Be proud!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/17/2012 9:51AM

    Oh Barb . . . you are an inspiration. I am really trying to follow in your footsteps and stay BUSY whild DS is deployed.

**SIGH** It's so difficult sometimes. He did call for support the other night (very unexpectedly) as 3 of his commrades were killed by an IED and they were young men I met @ his graduation (they graduated together). So utterly sad. I listened, and encouraged him to talk w/the chaplain, fellow soldiers or BOTH and just keep talking . . . don't bottle it up.

I pray for our sons and daughters in the military daily, and our families.

So glad you have the support of your DIL and YOU'RE there to support her.


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MSLZZY 8/17/2012 9:46AM

    A living legacy for you and your son. Build a solid
relationship and keep working to make your life
the best it can be. Family support is everything
and the closeness you share is irreplaceable.
You are an inspiration! HUGS!

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MIZCATHI 8/17/2012 8:01AM

    Living to be a positive and healthy role model is a goal that is far reaching. With your support I am ready to embrace the lifestyle for good.

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WATERMELLEN 8/17/2012 7:54AM

    A bit like the instruction to put on our own oxygen masks first on the plane . . . we have to save ourselves to be in a position to help those who matter most to us.

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LEANJEAN6 8/17/2012 7:51AM

    Yeah Barb!!!! It's our kids that keep us going!--You care the most dedicated person to staying fit that I know of!--Lynda emoticon

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AZMOMXTWO 8/17/2012 7:50AM

  to do it for our kids is good but I find that change has to be for myself I can not do it for others unless I want it for myself but they all go together

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