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30 Blogs Hath September #8

Saturday, September 08, 2012

Once again, the link to TanyaP71's original 30 topic challenge: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5038746


Today's topic is: "What do you think will be different when you reach your goal weight? If you are in maintenance, what did you think would be different? What actually was different?"

Well, if you've been following along, you already know I'd been through the lose/regain cycle a few times, and I'd even "maintained" most of a loss for close to five years. I am currently in the initial part of my third year of the "maintenance" phases of THIS healthy lifestyle initiative. It is my hope, prayer and resolution that this is for the rest of my life.

So my expectations this time through the process were pretty realistic, having been honed by prior experience. I entered the weight loss process with my eyes wide open and my priorities set straight. I hired help as needed, and I voiced my needs. I stood up for me and my health. I am so glad that I did.

I expected to feel better, physically. I expected to be able to do things that gave me joy. I did not have false expectations that losing weight would turn my life into a fairy tale, or make other people behave or feel differently. I knew I would have to face discomfort, I knew I would have to FEEL emotions I had been stuffing down. I knew what was ahead. I had traveled that path.

I further knew that I did not have to wait to reach a magic number on the scale to get those benefits (except I would not let myself run on these old knees until I reached my initial goal). As soon as I started eating properly and moving more I knew I would start to feel better.

This all happened, as I knew it would.

Was ANYTHING different? Well, yes, in fact it was. My body responded better than I had hoped or dreamed. I expected the 140's. I did not expect the 120's. I expected to be able to participate in 5K's again. I did not anticipate that I would have medals to show for it. Or, for that matter to go longer distances, like the HM.

This journey is NOT easy. But it is SO worth it. You only get one body issued, for life. Treat it well, for it does so many good things for you! Spark on! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 9/26/2012 10:00PM

    I'm lovin' these blogs, Barb. I honor you for being so honest and straightforward in telling your story. You have truly done and continue to do amazing things!

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WONDERFUL2BME 9/10/2012 2:43AM

    It is really amazing how our bodies respond to healthy living.

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DEBRA0818 9/9/2012 10:18AM

    Isn't it just so amazing what happened to you? You did it the right way for a long, consistent time and you were graced with results beyond what you expected. Such a wonderful success story!

emoticon

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DRAFTLOVER 9/9/2012 8:57AM

    I love that blog...thanks for your honesty. I need to repeatedly hear that maintenance is not a walk in the park but so worth the effort needed!

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WARMSPRINGDAY 9/9/2012 6:50AM

    This journey is NOT easy. But it is SO worth it. You only get one body issued, for life. Treat it well, for it does so many good things for you! Spark on!

Well said. emoticon

I love your blog a day theme. I'd like to do it, but just don't find the time to do a blog a day.

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SWEDE_SU 9/9/2012 6:28AM

    every blog you write adds another facet, shows those of us following in your footsteps how and where we are going. emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 9/9/2012 3:09AM

    emoticon blog, great read!
Nice to be home and catching up with everyone, have a great Sunday hun emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/9/2012 3:10:45 AM

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RAINBOWMF 9/9/2012 12:44AM

    emoticon blog.

Mary

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1CRAZYDOG 9/8/2012 11:23PM

    Barb, you nailed the essence of maintenance! Thank you.

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_LINDA 9/8/2012 11:20PM

    Can't say anything more glowing then what has already been said. incredibly uplifting blog. You prove that you CAN do what ever you put your mind (and body) to. Very inspiring! I can feel the smle in these words :))
Spark on!

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KARIDIAN1 9/8/2012 10:08PM

    You have done so well. These blogs are great.

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DLDMIL 9/8/2012 6:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUSTPOSSIBLE 9/8/2012 6:23PM

    I love your blog! Your are incredibly motivating.

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GARDENSFORLIFE 9/8/2012 2:34PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LDRICHEL 9/8/2012 2:06PM

    I expect to add years to my life. But, so much more important than that...LIFE to my years.

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WORLDSERIES11 9/8/2012 1:47PM

    Loving your series of blogs...look forward to reading them each morning. Thanks for all your insightful sharing!!

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DIANESAV1 9/8/2012 11:38AM

    Great blog. Thank you.

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OVERWORKEDJANET 9/8/2012 11:31AM

    Thanks for this blog. emoticon

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JENNYR0506 9/8/2012 10:44AM

    'My body responded better than I had hoped or dreamed.' There is such happiness and pride in this blog. You have worked hard and you deserve it all.

emoticon Jenny

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-SHOREIDO- 9/8/2012 10:09AM

    Keep writing. PLEASE!!! You are such a motivator and good Spark friend!!!

Hugs 4 you : )

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ANDI571 9/8/2012 9:54AM

    One body issued for life. So true! We take better care of our cars sometimes than we do this one body. emoticon

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WATERMELLEN 9/8/2012 9:42AM

    You amazed yourself! You exceeded your own expectations! It wasn't about how other people would treat you differently (and better) if you lost weight: it was about how you became different by treating yourself optimally.

Yay you. That you continue to amaze all of us here is . . . just incidental to the main project.

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SLENDERELLA61 9/8/2012 9:41AM

    Oh, am I with you!! I expected the 150's, and maybe, just maybe, the 140's, but achieving the 120's is just a delight -- a dream I'd had since I was in 7th grade and never thought it would be possible. I never dreamed I could run a mile, and here I am preparing for a HM -- with your support!! Thanks for sharing so much of your story. It makes me truly believe that it is possible for both of us to live the rest of our lives at our comfortable, healthy, correct weight! -Marsha

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MANDELOVICH 9/8/2012 9:21AM

    I love it! You have surpassed your dreams and that is so inspiring. You know what? Me too! And this time, it's been so easy because I got it! Taking care of myself feels awesome and the results come easily because life is so much better this way!

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AMARILYNH 9/8/2012 8:36AM

    I'm much newer to maintenance than you - I started last November. I too have hopes that THIS will be the time I DON'T gain the weight back - and with the help and support of my SparkFriends I plan to make it happen. Great blog!! emoticon

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MSLZZY 9/8/2012 8:27AM

    Excellent! Thank you for sharing! HUGS!

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MOSTMOM1 9/8/2012 8:23AM

    Great blog!
emoticon

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LAURIE5658 9/8/2012 8:16AM

    When I stopped trying so hard and simply let life happen did I finally enjoy true happiness in my life. By jove, I think we just MAY have this maintenance thing figured out!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 9/8/2012 8:01AM

    Barb--truly my inspiration to keep on here!---You are successful! You keep at it----and you are at goal weight and you are still here cheering the rest of us on---Thank-you---Lynda emoticon

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KANOE10 9/8/2012 7:59AM

    Nice insights. I also aimed for the 40s and got into the 20s. I like the way you said you voiced your needs and stood up for yourself and your health.

Great job on running 5ks. You are going to keep this weight off forever!

emoticon

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DEBRITA01 9/8/2012 7:42AM

    I'm enjoying your 30 Days blogs and am being inspired by your insights and your journey. emoticon

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SUNNYRUTH 9/8/2012 7:38AM

    Thanks for the inspiration. You have approached this weight loss journey with a realistic approach and then exceeded expectations! Keep up the good work.

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46SHADOW 9/8/2012 7:38AM

    glad you're on that blog challenge because it was a great story. with a very happy ending.

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30 Blogs hath September #7

Friday, September 07, 2012

Today's topic, from the list:
"How do you measure progress towards or maintenance? Scale weight? Body fat percentage? How your clothes fit? Other? "

My answer is a combination of the above. My "other" that I measure is my mental attitude and my physical behavior. Because actions follow thought. If I detect anger or resentment, in particular... I have to start examining what's going on. If I see slips in eating... i.e. purposeless indulgences... rationalization of extra treats... that's something to look at. This is truly the early warning system.

But if the early warning system should fail? Reality checks!

I do weigh daily. I do track the 7 day rolling average... that is a reality check of how I'm trending.

I do tape measure my body (monthly), and this is a HUGE check on my fitness, beyond the number on the scale. Am I in training? It shows in the tape measurements when I am.

How my clothes fit isn't quite as big a deal for me... it happens a little too late to make the adjustments I need to make.

Finally, the progress photos... if I'm not training and posting athletic event photos, I *do* take a fitness-posed snapshot of myself end of each month. I tend to skip them when I'm putting up a mud run or race picture... they would be overkill... but through the winter, they are a huge item in my reality check network.

We can do this, but only if we live in the present and SEE what's there! LIFE is good. Spark on!

emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 9/26/2012 9:53PM

    Thanks for the tips, Barb. I agree that attitude plays a huge part, and I like your early warning signs. I use how my clothes feel because the scale makes me nuts!

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KAYOTIC 9/8/2012 9:56AM

    I do the daily weigh in and rolling average too...and just took pictures last week, so I'm going to start that as a monthly thing as well, we'll see how that goes! I think the rolling average was the key to taking the fretting over the daily weight in check, for me at least!

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OVERWORKEDJANET 9/8/2012 7:04AM

    Does a daily weigh-in cause you to change your daily routine or is it simply to keep track.
I hesitate the daily for that reason. I think I'd be tempted to change my plan for the day based on daily weight.

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KARIDIAN1 9/7/2012 9:41PM

    I weigh myself once a week, sometimes twice depending how I have done for food and working out. Have had some pounds come back on this summer so am being very careful.

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COMPUCATHY 9/7/2012 8:48PM

    I love the 30 blogs hath September! Thanks for sharing your measures that keep you on track. It's specifics like these that really help me to be inspired and feel encouraged in the "how" of losing weight and keeping it off. Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon emoticon

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ANDI571 9/7/2012 8:37PM

    I like the idea of averaging the weight for a week. I never thought to do that.

Mental attitude is a big one for me. I am finding that I finally took care of my mental attitude of late, that I am now doing much better on my food choices. It can be my biggest down fall if I am not very aware.

Good blog Barb! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 9/7/2012 5:48PM

    Wonderful, wonderful words of wisdom. I never put a label to it, but you're right . . . measuring my attitude is definitely very important in this process because it drives my behaviors in response.

Thanks for sharing!

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DLDMIL 9/7/2012 5:02PM

    Right on!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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_LINDA 9/7/2012 4:50PM

    That is what I admire so much about you -your ability to analyze yourself objectively to see when there is a problem and take steps to correct it before it gets out of hand. That is what is helping to make you one heck of a great maintainer!! I know I quite often overlook any emotional problems I may be having and just sweep them under the carpet and hope they go away. My exercise helps me feel good about myself.
You have so many great ideas to share and I so very am thankful I came across you on this huge website to enjoy them!!
Spark on!!

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DRAFTLOVER 9/7/2012 4:36PM

    I love the idea of progress pictures..I sure wish you could bottle up and sell that attitude and determination you got there...Id pay good money for it lol

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SLENDERELLA61 9/7/2012 1:28PM

    More wisdom, Barb! I love how you use attitude and slips in eating as early warning signs. I've never heard that before and it makes so much sense. I'm going to try that. And then double checking with the objective data -- well, that is just stellar!! I think you really have something there. Thanks for posting!! -Marsha

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MJZHERE 9/7/2012 10:06AM

    "Because actions follow thoughts." I hadn't thought of maintenance being a check of my emotions but this rings really true for me. Originally I thought I was just dealing with weight loss but it became about a lot more than that. Thought maintenance would be about my physical fitness...Thank you for helping me see that maintenance is also about a lot more than that. emoticon emoticon

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MANDELOVICH 9/7/2012 9:59AM

    I too weigh daily as a check in. But my choices and attitude are far more important. Love your blogs!

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LINDAKAY228 9/7/2012 9:18AM

    Great ways to stay in check! I really like the photo one especially. You're right, by the time clothes don't fit right it's already late in the game.

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DEBRA0818 9/7/2012 8:43AM

    You have a great system of checks and balances! My favorite -- the pictures that really tell the whole truth. The scale doesn't always accurately reflect reality but the picture does!

emoticon

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GARDENSFORLIFE 9/7/2012 8:43AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LAURIE5658 9/7/2012 8:20AM

    Sometimes those reality checks are a real slap in the face but perhaps it is exactly what we need. Photos do not lie and they are perhaps THE most motivational tool we have. Great blog!

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DNRAE1 9/7/2012 8:01AM

    Yup, if my motivation or attitude slips just a little, I can see the effects in what I do. Reluctance to exercise and keep moving, eating the wrong things, and generally feeling a bit down. Back to the present to remember that life is good and deserves a big smile! emoticon

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MSLZZY 9/7/2012 7:36AM

    All very good ways to note progress and keep
yourself on target. Life IS good! SPark on!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

30 Blogs Hath September #6

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Since I haven't included it since day 2, I'll tuck it into a post every so often through the 30 days. This is the link to TanyaP71's initial Challenge to blog on the thirty defined topics: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5038746


Today's topic: "What has been most challenging about maintaining a weight loss (now or in the past)?"

I didn't figure this out for a while, but for me the most challenging thing about maintaining a healthy lifestyle has been dealing with what I will call the sea-changes of life.

I often would refer to my regain after having kept it off for most of five years as "life happened" or "life exploded on me" or whatever. But seriously, just about every time I have "lost" my maintenance it was because I became overwhelmed by changes in my life that messed with my then-routine self-care.

Sometimes it was HUGE... like my husband leaving me alone in a city with a dependent child and a demanding job. Sometimes it was less huge, like a change in my flexible work schedule that used to allow a good gym rotation, and "suddenly" did not. Once it was the demands of new motherhood. Once it was an injury... tripping over the dog injured my foot (don't laugh, it happens), and I didn't deal well with recovery.

What went wrong those times, and what has been different in the past few years (entering year 3 of maintenance at this point)? A few problems and a solution for dealing with them.

1. Failure to PLAN for change... because life WILL change, trust anybody who's lived more than 25 years! Look just a bit ahead (not so far that I'll freak out)... and draw that line in the sand (of the minimal self-care I will NOT give up) for the stressful busy times.

2. Losing the sense of priority for myself and my health. Thinking something else was more important than taking care of me. I have found the line in the sand method works well for this, too... there is a certain amount of self-care that has to become as automatic as brushing teeth or taking a shower. That line has MOVED in the past five years.

3. Saying "yes" to outside demands when I really needed to say "no". I have learned the power of "no". Is this going to disappoint some folks? Yep. Is it going to make me uncomfortable if it does? Yep. But it also gains the respect of those same folks, they will not take advantage of my people-pleasing nature if *I* respect my line in the sand and balance my life. As I started to practice this, the response surprised me. In a good way.

Another secret: when I make myself a priority, and manage my stress... it helps me remember (as does hanging out at Spark)... the most important thing: that I'm worth taking care of! I'm not going to "save the world" if I don't first take care of my health.

LIFE is good. But it can only be lived in the present. One day at a time. Spark on! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

222NICHOLE 11/13/2012 3:12PM

    Wow. Thanks for your insight about the line in the sand. That is so true - there is a certain amount of exercise that is necessary for me each day, and is just as important to make time for as showering and brushing my teeth, and I need to do that no matter how busy I am. When I am really busy I have the tendency to think in an all-or-nothing way, I either do my usual longer workout or not exercise at all. But this helped me to see that it's okay if I don't do my full workout like I wanted to, I just at least need to do the minimum amount that I feel is necessary each day. Thank you. This was a great eye-opener for me.

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NASFKAB 10/14/2012 10:31AM

  great blog made me think

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SHARON10002 9/26/2012 9:49PM

    emoticon blog, Barb.

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SERASARA 9/26/2012 3:59PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAMA_CD 9/17/2012 7:36PM

    So true, live in the moment

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EFFRAYECHILDE 9/14/2012 9:53AM

    emoticon

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NEWTINK 9/10/2012 4:51PM

    emoticon blog .. you did an awesome job

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BLUE42DOWN 9/8/2012 1:28PM

    emoticon

Completely agree with all three of those points.

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HBLACK5 9/8/2012 12:55PM

    emoticon

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ROBINSCHWARTZ1 9/8/2012 6:01AM

  Thank you so much for sharing. This has and continues to be a long journey for me . I realized I don't want to watch the game in the stands anymore I want to be on the field. Making myself a priority is not always easy but I am the foundation and that needs to be strong, I can only achieve that when I take care of myself. Thank you again


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BLUEJEAN99 9/8/2012 1:57AM

    emoticon emoticon

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PCASEY7 9/7/2012 11:19PM

    Great blog! Thanks for sharing your secrets to maintenance since I've recently joined that stage.

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HEARTS116 9/7/2012 9:41PM

    emoticon emoticon
Awesome blog

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KIPPER15 9/7/2012 9:34PM

    Life can only be lived in the present is so true. emoticon

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JAMER123 9/7/2012 9:10PM

    Thank you for sharing your story. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 9/7/2012 8:57PM

    thanks for sharing

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ANDI571 9/7/2012 8:40PM

    This hit home with me so much. How many times have I said, "Life happened". You spoke to me. emoticon

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NESARIAN 9/7/2012 7:27PM

    Plan for change... wow, you sure turned on a light bulb with that one! I plan but have not included change. Maybe I better go take a walk and ponder this! Thanks for sharing!

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REGILIEH 9/7/2012 6:10PM

    WTG!!!

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PATRICIAANN46 9/7/2012 3:31PM

  Excellent advice!!!!! emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 9/7/2012 2:30PM

    Lots to consider. emoticon

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DOGLADY13 9/7/2012 1:58PM

    Lots to consider here. I can learn a lot from this blog.

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MANDALORE 9/7/2012 12:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SMOULINIER 9/7/2012 11:56AM

  Over the years I developed a reputation for being a "people pleaser" (at first I was not aware of this). Then one day someone said to me "Why don't you do/say what YOU want instead of asking other people's opinions first"? I thought I was just being considerate. In fact I found it difficult quite often to make a decision because I didn't want anyone to be upset with me. I guess this goes back to my childhood when I learned early on that the easiest way to keep the peace at home was to "go along " with whatever the adults said. Thank goodness I've gotten over this (sort of) with the passage of time. Thanks for sharing this motivational blog! emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 9/7/2012 11:35AM

  Well said - and I appreciate the reminder to think about where I belong on my own priority list.

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TONYVAND1 9/7/2012 11:32AM

  emoticon Great advise.

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MIMIDOT 9/7/2012 9:59AM

    A great message to start the day. Thank you for sharing. Hope you have a great day!

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CICELY360 9/7/2012 9:51AM

  good blog

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WONDERFUL2BME 9/7/2012 9:41AM

    A great reminder about priorities. Thank you for the heads up!

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MOMMY445 9/7/2012 9:37AM

    what a terrific blog! thanks for sharing!

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SHOAPIE 9/7/2012 8:57AM

    emoticon

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PENOWOK 9/7/2012 8:45AM

    Absolutely true! Thanks for the perspective!

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IREN0169 9/7/2012 8:44AM

    I like the "line in the sand". Need to figure out where mine is. emoticon

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NEWMOM20121 9/7/2012 8:19AM

    Just what some of needed to read this morning. Thank you for sharing.

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WALLINMW 9/7/2012 7:48AM

  Great advice. Keep sparking!!

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CATHGREEN8 9/7/2012 6:52AM

    My daughter lost 130 pounds over two years by being absolutely "selfish" and putting her workouts before everything else...even helping with Thanksgiving dinner and opening presents on Christmas. She inspires me as does your line in the same. thanks so much.


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SWEDE_SU 9/7/2012 5:53AM

    you manage to say what all of us are thinking, but don't have the words - thanks for sharing! great blog!

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LUNABYRD 9/7/2012 5:26AM

    I loved this. And I didn't laugh because I tripped over my dog and herniated a disk in my back! Couldn't exercise for close to a year. I think we can all relate to you and be inspired to draw our line in the sand! emoticon

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LYSTERIA75 9/7/2012 4:00AM

    I wouldn't dare laugh about the dog!! Last winter I tripped over a blanket laying on the floor, while the light was on, and broke my foot. I had to have pins put in the bones and it took several months to recover. At least you tripped over what was probably a moving target! emoticon

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ON2VICTORY 9/7/2012 2:41AM

    thank you so much for the 'line in the sand' , i needed that.



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EBEAMS 9/6/2012 10:18PM

    emoticon

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KARIDIAN1 9/6/2012 9:05PM

    Another good blog Barb.

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OBSIDIANFIRE 9/6/2012 8:01PM

    You write amazing blogs. Thanks. You really hit the nail on the head with your ability to articulate what happens and how people respond to what life throws at us.


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DLDMIL 9/6/2012 6:56PM

    Wow, a great blog, thanks for posting. emoticon

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LORILEEPAGE 9/6/2012 5:54PM

    After reading this blog of yours for the first time earlier today, I had a challenging day. One of those days when unexpected needs of my (adult) children came up and I felt like I wasn't going to get in my workout.

I thought about what you said about drawing a line in the sand. I didn't say "no" to my kids, because these were true needs today, so I resigned myself to an unplanned day off from a workout, Friday swapped for today. But when I went to an appointment with the fitness director at the Y to get my BF percentage measured, I found myself 20 minutes early for the appointment. Luckily I had to wear my shorts and tshirt for the measurements, and took the opportunity to hop on the elliptical for 15 min, and after the appointment I had 10 more minutes till I had to get going home...so I did some more. On a day that I couldn't say no to interruptions in my plan, I was looking for opportunities to not neglect the self-care I expected to carry out today.

YOU inspired me to not settle, to stick to where my lines were drawn.

Thank you for this blog!

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DRAFTLOVER 9/6/2012 4:45PM

    Wonderful blog...lots of insite into your road to maintence. Thank you so much. You Rock Woman!

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BOMBSHELLY 9/6/2012 12:37PM

    Thank you so much for putting into words many of the concepts I've been struggling with on my own journey so far. You've turned on quite a few lightbulbs for me here!

Comment edited on: 9/6/2012 12:38:32 PM

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MJZHERE 9/6/2012 12:21PM

    Maybe I'll just put a link to your post for my #6 - you said it so well. I can definitely relate about....well the whole thing! Good job!

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SOULOFWELLNESS 9/6/2012 12:14PM

    Thank you for sharing! Wonderful lessons and inspirations!

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1CRAZYDOG 9/6/2012 12:02PM

    wonderful post! You're right . . . in times of stress we really need self-care tremendously! We cannot neglect ourselves or we have nothing left to give to those who need "a piece of us!"

thanks for another wonderful, thought provoking blog.

You are a wonderful example of how to handle life and maintenance! HUGS



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30 Blogs hath September #5

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Today's topic: "What is your weight history like? How old where you when you first 'went on a diet'? Have you lost and regained? How is this time different from others?"

Can we spell yo-yo? Not really, yo-yo's return too quickly. Roller coaster is more like it... precipitous rises and falls.

I was between high school and college when I first "went on a diet". It was unhealthy, and those fears from yesterday's blog kicked in big time, and of course I regained. I sort of tried, half-heartedly for a few years after that, but really didn't have the knowledge... that was the time of the crazy attempts. Feast/fast, cabbage soup, Ayds candy... remember those?

Have I lost and regained? Oh, yeah. No stranger to that. This took me several tries... BUT, I point back to 1989 and the old Weight Watchers exchange plan as teaching me what I needed to know. Granted, I was too stringent that time, learned some lessons with the eventual re-gain (kept it off nearly 5 years that time before life fell apart on me).

Then began the motivational wars with myself. Every time since then that I have committed to the process, I knew I could be successful, and I was... as long as I could keep up the motivation. I have had side-trips caused by not dealing well with transitions in life. I had a hard time with recovering from an injury (tripped over the dog)...

But what's different about this time? My heavens... I have discovered that it is the behaviors that make me happy: good nutrition, proper exercise, enough sleep, and being kind to myself when I slip up... dropping perfectionism for effort, instead. That's what's different.

Plus, the real secret weapon: the community of Spark People, supporting one another through the highs and the lows. Spark friends remind me every day that 1) we are all human, and 2) we are WORTH the effort, each and every one of us.

May you be blessed in this Wednesday! LIFE is good. Spark on. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIFIFRIZZLE 9/9/2012 2:32PM

    I remember my mother going on the cabbage soup diet. What wretchedness we would put up with in the pursuit of our goals.
It's so good to hear that confirmation, it's the behaviors that make you happy, I've been thinking this too, but as I am not at goal or maintaining, I haven't known this for sure.
emoticon

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SWEDE_SU 9/7/2012 5:52AM

    the spark motivation really is the secret weapon, isn't it! spark on! emoticon

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BOMBSHELLY 9/6/2012 12:35PM

    Gosh, I really love your attitude!

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_LINDA 9/6/2012 2:16AM

    Never heard of this Ayds. But I only ballooned up a couple of times -once going on a Physicians Weight Loss Center diet and successfully losing it all, but they went out of business after so no help with maintenance. They required you to eat their supplements and vitamins every day too, was very expensive and also very restrictive food choices -bland and very boring -not normal nutritional stuff like Sparks let you have. I never went on another plan again after that experience.
Truly, Sparks is all anyone really needs!
Have a Totally Terrific Thursday!!

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DLDMIL 9/5/2012 11:17PM

    emoticon

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KARIDIAN1 9/5/2012 10:46PM

    Great blog as always.

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DRAFTLOVER 9/5/2012 9:35PM

    Awesome. I love the go easy on yourself part. Give yourself permission to be human.....A lesson we all need to learn.

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WATERMELLEN 9/5/2012 9:17PM

    Ayds indeed . . . and they weren't much "aid"!

This time it's for good: not that we're complacent about it . . . we do know how much effort maintenance takes. But we're up for it!!

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DOGLADY13 9/5/2012 9:15PM

    I also like the points of dropping perfectionism for effort and the rewards coming from effort. Those are some of the biggest battles we have to overcome, whether it is weight, quitting cigarettes, overspending, learning something new...

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OVERWORKEDJANET 9/5/2012 5:14PM

    Well ,you just make me smile every day!

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MSLZZY 9/5/2012 5:13PM

    The universal story for most of us. If we don't have
motivation, all our efforts fall short of the
expectations. Good thing I have my Spark friends
to lift me up. HUGS!

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1CRAZYDOG 9/5/2012 4:52PM

    Yes! Effort trumps perfectionism and you need support to succeed! Love the blog. You are an example of IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!!! HUGS

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DEBRA0818 9/5/2012 4:51PM

    I remember Ayds -- eating too many of them could induce serious stomach disorders. Ask me how I know! Whenever we try something and fall short of the goal (even if it's years and years), we charge back into the battle with more and better information and then one day, God willing, something just shifts. It sure seems to have happened for you, Barb!

emoticon emoticon

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SHARON10002 9/5/2012 4:11PM

    I tried most of the same diets you did, and a couple of more. Talk about boring food, and lack of interest. I never took the Ayds though. What a difference here on Spark! Lots of encouragement, motivation, great recipes, and great people! It definitely helps keep me motivated even on these stupid plateaus!

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RAINBOWMF 9/5/2012 4:02PM

    emoticon

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LORILEEPAGE 9/5/2012 3:58PM

    I really liked what you said about realizing that the things that make you happy are good nutrition, proper exercise, enough sleep and being kind to yourself, I realized that that's what makes me happy, too. Not Food! I always felt like good yummy food makes me happy. But now you have put into words what I am experiencing but hadn't put my finger on.

Thanks!

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SPARKLISE 9/5/2012 3:32PM

    Could not have said it better! emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 9/5/2012 1:13PM

    Profound, Barb. Brought me to tears. Especially the part about exchanging perfectionism for effort. That's it!! I never thought of it quite like that, but that is it in a nutshell. Thanks so much for your wisdom, support, and all the effort you put into SP, too. -Marsha

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LINDAKAY228 9/5/2012 12:21PM

    Oh yeah, I remember the Ayds! My mother and I tried them several times, along with a lot of other crazy diets from the time I was about 10 or 11 years old as we both were overweight. Those Ayds tasted so good I could eat a box of those caramel flavored ones LOL. I can definitely relate to what you said!

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KRISZTA11 9/5/2012 12:19PM

    emoticon
Great blog!
I loved this the most:
"I have discovered that it is the behaviors that make me happy: good nutrition, proper exercise, enough sleep, and being kind to myself when I slip up... dropping perfectionism for effort, instead. "
This makes the difference for me too!
emoticon

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MNTWINSGAL 9/5/2012 11:37AM

    Yes we are, and you say it so well! I think we've all been there....but the important thing is that we are doing something that will move us forward! Spark People is such a fabulous community!

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LEANJEAN6 9/5/2012 11:30AM

    Oh Barb--Ya gotta LOVE sPARK!!! emoticon

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MJZHERE 9/5/2012 11:11AM

    I really like that -" We are worth the effort - every one of us"

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KAYOTIC 9/5/2012 10:21AM

    It is the behaviours that make us happy, well said! I totally agree, focusing on the behaviours that contribute to being healthy, and not just a certain weight, have really kicked in for me too. And I'm constantly looking at how I can improve on those behaviours whether that means cooking my own meals with better ingredients, trying new workout routines, meditating, getting consistent sleep, it all contributes to being happier, healthier, and able to stay in my goal range consistently without it being a constant struggle.

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JENNYR0506 9/5/2012 9:15AM

    Love your comment about 'dropping perfectionism for effort'.

Just keep plugging no matter what, right!

emoticonJenny

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KALIGIRL 9/5/2012 8:24AM

    "I have discovered that it is the behaviors that make me happy" - marvelous insight - I'm still on my way to learning that one...
And I agree - this place is marvelous emoticon

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MANDELOVICH 9/5/2012 8:17AM

    I feel like you told my story! I spent 30 years (since I was 11) on or off a diet. But it never worked.

This time it's all about going for joy and loving to take care of myself!

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DNRAE1 9/5/2012 8:17AM

    I think we were riding that same roller coaster. SP is the only time I have felt that I'm doing it right!!! Eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, tracking, and interacting with lovely people who are positive and enthusiastic, and share their motivation......these things make each day full of Sparks! emoticon

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GARDENSFORLIFE 9/5/2012 8:14AM

    God Bless You!
emoticon emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

30 Blogs Hath September #4

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Topic of the day: "What are (or were) your fears about weight loss?"

I had some classics, mostly in denial about them through my earlier attempts.

1. Fear of unwanted attention and having to actually make choices that might hurt someone's feelings or heaven forbid not please somebody, rather than just letting my layers of fat push people away for me.

2. Fear of regaining.

3. Fear of loss of identity. If I'm not "the fat sister"... who am I? And with that, fear that once I got under the layers of what I thought other people expected me to be, there would be no "me" under there!

I have a secret about fears: once I face them and find out it doesn't kill me to face them, they lose a lot of their power. I'm not saying they disappear entirely, but they lose power, every time they are faced down.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUPERSYLPH 1/4/2013 10:22AM

    Thanks for sharing!

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THESLIMMERME1 9/14/2012 12:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GINIEMIE 9/12/2012 3:06PM

    Nice blog. Fear is a great controller if you let it be, you are so wise to confront it.

emoticon emoticon

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DOTTY7267 9/12/2012 11:54AM

    Those fears are so exact. Thank you for sharing.


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IMSUNSHINE 9/12/2012 8:20AM

    Fear of not liking the new body!

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KELLIEBEAN 9/10/2012 6:51PM

    Love this blog. I have been up and down on the scale many times over the years. When I lost weight, I would get compiments and feel embarrassed or like people felt I was a show off and the weight would pop right back on.

We all need to keep reminding ourselves that we are worth this!

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MYUTMOST4HIM 9/10/2012 9:09AM

    I wasn't sure what the new me would be like. Would like me? Would others like me?? Would they be positive changes???
These are the things I constantly turned over to God!!!

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TEACHEROF4TH 9/10/2012 8:20AM

    Love this! Thanks for posting!

emoticon

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EFFRAYECHILDE 9/10/2012 7:44AM

    Great blog :)

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 9/10/2012 5:09AM

    great blog...,.

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DETERMINEDLOSER 9/9/2012 11:10PM

    Great blog, thanks for sharing!

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GOSPARK45 9/9/2012 12:42PM

    Fear of people actually seeing ME and not some fat person, wow, that's so true!
Time to find out. Thanks for the insights.



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NYARAMULA 9/9/2012 10:43AM

    So true, thanks for sharing.

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THEIS58 9/9/2012 9:41AM

    great blog

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FITGRL124 9/9/2012 9:03AM

    emoticon

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EWL978 9/9/2012 12:36AM

    You have a lot of company here....just keep on keeping on....those demons will disappear!!!

emoticon

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NANAWOO1 9/8/2012 11:30PM

  nothing to fear but fear its self

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123ELAINE456 9/8/2012 8:13PM

  Awsome Blog!!! God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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KSCRAP363 9/8/2012 8:02PM

    Great blog!

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JEANBEAN827 9/8/2012 10:53AM

  Your blog made me think and think, and I still have no answers.. I think I have buried feelings, emotions, frustrations, anger, resentment for so so long I don't even know what they are anymore .. I'm like one big blob ... I always thought that seeing a counselor to help figure things out was someone who was * nutsy* well I have discovered I am one of those * nutsy* people.. I have made an appt to see a counselor/phycologist this month for the first time in my life I am * ADMITTING* I have a problem and I can not fix it .. I am seeking help .. No longer do I think people are nuts to seek help .. I probably should of done this a long time ago .. Maybe in time I can answser some of your questions ..
Thanks for letting me know I am doing the right thing..

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BLOOMING52 9/8/2012 9:06AM

    Thank you.

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MOMOSG 9/8/2012 8:04AM

    Very good point!

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CAM2438 9/8/2012 7:07AM

    It is amazing what fear can do!

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THEIS58 9/8/2012 5:02AM

    Well said

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RUNANDRUN 9/8/2012 12:06AM

  Regaining

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IFEOMA4 9/7/2012 4:07PM

  yea but i weigh fear one one hand and the health benefits on another hand. the choice is obvious.

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SLFGOLF 9/7/2012 1:02AM

    Great blog and something I really needed. I've been stuck with this last 10 pounds to lose for the last 10 months. I know in a lot of ways I have fears of reaching my goal weight. You have really given me something to think about and get myself past.

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FIREFLY_MEDIC 9/7/2012 12:49AM

    fear is a factor

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JAGBUG56 9/6/2012 11:35PM

    Great topic! I have been on WW for years. I've taken off 60 lbs, but I'm stuck! SOOOOO, I decided to cancel my $39.95 per month membership and major on Spark. For me, this is HUGE! I have the fear of failure if I don't check in weekly at WW. But, I decided I need to make a drastic change this year.....so conquer the fears and treat my body as it should be treated. Great blog! Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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FATHINSN 9/6/2012 11:31PM

    Even when I was so excited to finally able to regain back my control in life, I had #3, what if when I finally to get the toned body (my goal) and no one recognized me? But after I read a book from Jude Deveraux where this heroine had a curvy body and she didn't lose her curves but instead got more defined, I don't have #3 anymore :D

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CAROL494 9/6/2012 8:25PM

  Well stated! emoticon emoticon

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FALLNTENN 9/6/2012 8:18PM

    I have the same fears. Thanks for sharing.

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GLINDAGOODWITCH 9/6/2012 7:16PM

    Great thought provoking post. Thanks!

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TIZSLIM 9/6/2012 6:21PM

  Your blog just made me think of this:

http://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=amNpxQANk0M

Des
pite my being a Brit!

I've addressed many of my fears in the past, and then they haven't been fears any more. I've been so successful at doing that in many ways, that I've forgotten to keep doing it. Despite not having faced my biggest fear - succeeding. Thank you for reminding me.


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DALID414 9/6/2012 5:21PM

    I'm afraid of regaining too, but I know it's all in my OWN hands. Now one else can do MY work for me emoticon

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IMAVISION 9/6/2012 3:55PM

    Wonderful topic!

Thank you for sharing with us!

God bless you!

Ima

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MILADY_LCF 9/6/2012 1:57PM

    awesome, thanks for sharing, that is a great "secret for success"

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SERASARA 9/6/2012 1:49PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KNEEMAKER 9/6/2012 12:41PM

  Thanks for sharing

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THINTASTICME 9/6/2012 12:26PM

    emoticon

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AMIV07 9/6/2012 12:03PM

  I felt kind of strange for feeling I really need to loose weight but not enough for acting over it... I guess is time to say goodbye to those fears emoticon

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AMIV07 9/6/2012 12:00PM

  emoticon

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ESME25 9/6/2012 10:01AM

    emoticon

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ALANTIC 9/6/2012 9:46AM

  I am just returning to Sparks, have really finally decided that I am the one who has to do the work to be the person I want to be-not just in my head, but in the reality of every day life. I have lots of fears about losing wgt-particularly the one of being the 'thin sister', which I was for years, being bulemic of course, but that had to stop and I needed a better way to cope with my life. Today I am taking responsibility for my own actions and responses to people, places and things, and am going to do this only one day at a time. emoticon

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 9/6/2012 9:36AM

    Great post

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NIKO27 9/6/2012 6:46AM

    emoticon

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TRYINGHARD54 9/6/2012 5:57AM

    thank you

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MRE1956 9/6/2012 5:24AM

    Thank you for sharing!

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ROSGETSSERIOUS 9/6/2012 4:55AM

    Great blog - you have identified the issues for so many of us and described then so clearly - congratulations and thanks.


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WALKINGCHICK 9/6/2012 3:31AM

    Your blog and the subsequent posts has made me recognise that whilst I don't have a fear of weightloss, I do have a need to be seen by others as approved and having achieved 'perfection'. I am pretty tall for a girl (over 6ft), which generates a lot of unwanted attention - most people stop and stare and make personal remarks (I can still hear you know - the clouds don't affect my hearing, just my eyesight :)). I'm losing weight I thought because I wanted to feel better about myself, and make lasting lifestyle changes, but there is no doubt that I'm seeking appreciation from everyone else too!
I'm going to work on that - my own approval is enough, and I need to value that!
Thanks for the thoughts, and hang in there - you will enjoy a life with less weight for so many great reasons, and the fears become easier to manage.
emoticon

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