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The ABC's of motivation: discernment

Monday, October 08, 2012

Discernment was a word that popped into my mind as I wrote yesterday's blog. As I wrote about becoming aware of the difference between hunger and the desire to avoid unwanted emotions, it appeared: the perfect D.

My little Websters tells me that to discern is exactly that: "1 to separate (a thing) mentally from another or others; recognize as separate or different". Of course discernment is the ability to do that or the act of making that distinction.

Often I have words pop up in advance. Seldom do they "stick" all the way to the next day's blog, but this one did. Discernment is key to overcoming habitual behavior, to understanding the trigger before the action, so that a conscious decision can be made about the motivating factor.

If one doesn't have a lot of discernment, how does one cultivate it? I have to quiet the mind, to let the silence (or my higher power) speak to me... to gain insight into what's making me tick. I really need to make some quiet time every day to assess and seek guidance.

In this time I assess: Do I feel I'm being pushed by what I think others expect of me? What am I really feeling? Do the facts justify the feelings? What else can I do about the feelings?

About three years ago, I started turning off the car radio on the way to work. I began to use this time (I am alone in the car) to give myself that little self-contemplation. It is a time to assess the driving forces and lay out a plan for dealing with them... today.

Whether it's ten or fifteen minutes in a car with silence or moments at a desk with a book, you are certainly worth this level of daily maintenance. You are a valued member of the human race. To do your bit, you need to be in good form. Slowing down, starting the day (and for that matter ending the day) with assessment and nurturing discernment helps in many ways... including being able to distinguish between emotions and hunger.

And that, in turn, leads to healthier decisions, and a stronger sense of belonging and mission.

Life is good in the light! Spark on! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 10/18/2012 3:55PM

    You are right - it's important to quiet the mind. Unfortunately mine is always busy. I am working on this very thing, and it's not easy to master to get to that quiet place of inner peace and guidance.

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_LINDA 10/9/2012 10:13AM

    I am guessing I need more quiet time and contemplation. All too all often a frantic fast paced lifestyle leads to frantic fast paced over eating. I still can't get out of the habit of eating too fast. Lots of areas of my life need to slow down. Be aware, notice the differences, actually think about what I am doing and feeling. Something unfamiliar to me. I love hearing how you try to improve your life and the methods that work for you!

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NYKIMMIE 10/9/2012 8:08AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KARIDIAN1 10/8/2012 10:44PM

    Nice choice of word. emoticon

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DLDMIL 10/8/2012 3:33PM

    Wow!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OPTIMIST1948 10/8/2012 2:23PM

    Wisdom. You have it.

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WORLDSERIES11 10/8/2012 2:17PM

    I am so enjoying your ABC's!!! Thanks for sharing and giving me valuable lessons to think about and learn from!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DR8561 10/8/2012 12:48PM

    Love this series of blogs. Keep `em coming!
emoticon emoticon

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TONYVAND1 10/8/2012 12:22PM

  emoticon Great blog Thanks for sharing

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RONNIEHUEY 10/8/2012 12:21PM

    Good blog

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LINDAKAY228 10/8/2012 11:14AM

    What a great blog. I need to work on it more daily. When I'm out hiking I don't use anything to distract me and it's at me when I can really think but I need to practice that more often. Thanks and have a great day!

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LADYBUG1943 10/8/2012 11:08AM

    Well-written post. Thank you for sharing.

I actually have too MUCH contemplation time, and to get out of my own head, have realized I need to get out and be with people more often. It's good for my motivation and good for my body (you have to walk into those places). That's because I live alone while my husband works out of town, and tend to be a book-reader, quilter, etc., all of which keeps me at home and not active.

Discernment: balance: equilibrium: Constantly working to stay in the middle of the teeter totter.


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NEW-CAZ 10/8/2012 10:16AM

    I spend the first hour of my day with me, myself and I. Quiet contempation before the day gets going is a great start to any day.

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EBEAMS 10/8/2012 9:58AM

    I recently was "volunteered" to start taking my mom to work with me once a week she can volunteer there. I found I very much resented losing that valuable "alone" time on my drive in and back. While I will adjust and will learn to appreciate her company, I now am more aware of how much I need to appreciate the other days I drive in! Drive on, my dear, drive on! emoticon

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WATERMELLEN 10/8/2012 9:50AM

    Silence and time alone are essential to me too: so I can figure out what's going on and make the right choices.

Discernment: yeah. Great concept, great blog. I'm enjoying this series so much!

Thanks for your get well wishes.

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1CRAZYDOG 10/8/2012 8:24AM

    Fantastic blog! I am like you . . . I like to use the time in the car, or walking, or riding or hiking to just think! Ponder. Discern! Thanks and HUGS.

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LEANJEAN6 10/8/2012 8:13AM

    Discernment?---- I like it Barb!--also discovery----distance --as in yer running--diet-BAD WORD!--LOL---Dodge --as in bullet--LOL--Dorky-----LOL----- Anyway, great blog--Lynda emoticon

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LOOK2LOVELIFE 10/8/2012 7:56AM

    Great blog with great insight! Thanks for sharing!

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MSLZZY 10/8/2012 7:43AM

    Quiet time-yes, I do need to start making this time
to assess. Today is as good a day as any. Thamks for
sharing! HUGS!

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DEBRA0818 10/8/2012 7:14AM

    It's sometimes very difficult to make quiet time in a world that celebrates noise and constant availability, but it is so necessary to being in touch with the light that guides us well.


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DNRAE1 10/8/2012 7:06AM

    Discernment...We all need to learn to use this skill more often in our lives. Conscious decisions can make our lives fuller and more meaningful.

Great blog!!! emoticon

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The ABC's of Motivation: Courage

Sunday, October 07, 2012

Today's word is courage. My little Webster's says that courage is "1 the attitude of facing and dealing with anything recognized as dangerous, difficult, or painful, instead of withdrawing from it; quality of being fearless or brave; valor"

I'm focusing on the first clause, because as almost everyone who battles the battle of weight loss and maintenance motivation knows... while it may not always be dangerous (if done sanely) to deal with our weight issue (it SHOULD be making us healthier), it can be difficult and sometimes painful. One of the reasons some of us have carried excess weight was to avoid. Avoid emotions. Push people away.

I am not without fears, anxieties, or worries. Food has been my way to cope. It takes courage to choose NOT to avoid... to use other tools... to recognize, accept, and feel the emotions that have to be dealt with. I was so deep in denial about negative emotions that my first signal I was experiencing them was finding myself at the fridge or the candy counter or at the bottom of a carton of ice cream.

While I cannot control their appearance, I can choose what to do about those emotions. Part of the solution is having the courage to make a different choice, but first I have to be aware of the difference between hunger and avoidance of emotion... and that is not always easy to detect at first on this journey. And it is the subject of other entries, not this one.

Courage is letting go of the coping mechanism. Courage is seeing something that scares me and moving forward, anyway.

Courage is part of my event participation, too. I sign up for an obstacle course, mud run, or endurance race and while training, I still find that I dream of all the things that could go wrong... but then I do it anyway. Amazingly, having done something difficult and completing it? Makes the next difficult or scary thing a little less so, and my likelihood of following through greater.

Examine the courage with which you live your lives. It is there. Trust me. You have made decisions in your life where the ultimate outcome was uncertain. If you got married? Where was the guarantee in that? Bore a child? Yep, scary as it comes. Moved to take a job? Yeppers, that's in there too. Made a decision to see a doctor? Faced a diagnosis and had to decide on treatment options?

All of these were risks to make your life better. Letting go of the crutch of food as an emotional calmer? A risk? Yes, because then everything that might have been driving the eating must be uncovered, examined, and dealt with. Then the choice of HOW to deal with it is back in our hands.

No longer victims. Food is not the enemy. We are courageous, and that is the motivation for today!

Life is good. Spark on! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 10/18/2012 3:50PM

    Thanks for these great words of wisdom, Barb. I still eat emotionally sometimes, but it has substantially decreased. Yes losing weigh is often difficult and painful, but it does take courage to keep going when the going gets tough.
Thanks too for the change in perspective on how courageous I actually am! emoticon

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_LINDA 10/9/2012 9:56AM

    Another fabulous blog
Here is to having the courage to face and conquer those barriers to leading a healthy, happy and fullfilling life! Thanks for being the amazing role model to follow!

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DOODIE59 10/8/2012 8:46PM

    Here's to courage!

I must say, I love, love, LOVE your wallpaper -- what a fantastic memory:)

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WONDERFUL2BME 10/8/2012 2:06PM

    Courage....Yes. It is nice to be reminded about all the couragous choices I have made as well.

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46SHADOW 10/8/2012 10:35AM

    Food has always been my emotional calmer. Thanks for saying it so eloquently!

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NUMD97 10/8/2012 10:11AM

    Wow!! Just wow!! I found you just by following the SP crumbs, as I say, from a mutual Spark buddy, and am glad I did.

This is the key, as you wrote, to the whole shebang:

"I still find that I dream of all the things that could go wrong... but then I do it anyway."

And, to clearly examine the REASONS we are what we are. It never was really about weight. And that is one of the greatest lessons of all, that must and will, point us in the right direction, IF we are brave enough to exam it.

Wonderful blog. Thank you!

All the best,


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JOHNTJ1 10/8/2012 9:50AM

    Yes, you are right!!!

We are indeed courageous

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WATERMELLEN 10/8/2012 9:47AM

    It DOES take courage to stop self-medicating with food, and to deal with the emotions that underlie that decision . . . and to keep on.

Yeah. Great blog.

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KARIDIAN1 10/7/2012 10:18PM

    Great blog! As usual. emoticon

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WORLDSERIES11 10/7/2012 9:44PM

    Great "food" for thought!

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LAURIE5658 10/7/2012 5:50PM

    Another exceptional Barb blog!!!


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KAYLA0041 10/7/2012 4:38PM

    emoticon as usual very well said.

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LINDAKAY228 10/7/2012 1:11PM

    I always see courage not as being fearless, but as facing the fears anyway. Just like you said. And it does take courage to tackle weight loss and increased activity. It is so much easier to stay in our comfort zone instead of reaching out for the things that are difficult, even if our comfort zone is killing us. Great blog!

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DEBRITA01 10/7/2012 12:47PM

    You hit the nail on the head, weight loss can be "difficult and sometimes painful". It takes courage to face life as it is, without the coping mechanism of food. It requires learning new ways and having the courage to follow through... even when the times get tough and the old habits try to resurface.

Barb, you've demonstrated great courage in setting new physical challenges/goals for yourself and sticking with it to the end...something I aspire to do some day. An insightful blog... emoticon

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DLDMIL 10/7/2012 12:21PM

    emoticon emoticon Your blogs are so inspirational.

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CEHALLA 10/7/2012 11:19AM

    I will be reading this blog several times, whenever I need courage to face my emotions instead of avoiding them with food. Thanks!

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1CRAZYDOG 10/7/2012 10:17AM

    HUGS! This is such a powerful blog and each of us need to really look in that mirror and see how courageous we are with each change we make, with each situation we make it through when we think we can't, with each good choice we make. It really does all add up to courage! YOU are the best example of courage I know! HUGS

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WILLOWBROOK5 10/7/2012 10:08AM

    Excellent blog! I am reading a book about emotional overeating called "Shrink Yourself" and it is talking about exactly this subject!

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DNRAE1 10/7/2012 9:50AM

    Fantastic, Barb!!! emoticon You are so inspiring AND courageous! Thank you!

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NEW-CAZ 10/7/2012 9:07AM

    emoticon you are such an inspiration Barb emoticon

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KANOE10 10/7/2012 9:04AM

    Great blog. You do need courage to leave the familiar and make a healthy choice.
Establishing whether something is true hunger verses emotional hunger is also important. Emotional hunger is demanding and must be filled immediately and very particularly..nothing else will do. Real hunger can wait and handle change.
You are right..we need to have the courage to examine every part of our lives and the emotions that drive us.


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SLENDERELLA61 10/7/2012 8:53AM

    I AM courageous. And I didn't even know it. Thank you, Barb!!

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LEANJEAN6 10/7/2012 7:57AM

    The courage to live happily-----the courage to keep on Sparking against all odds----The courage to put one astep ahead of the other----even when you have a heel spur---The list goes on and on-Great blog! Lynda emoticon

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    If only you were my neighbor!

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MSLZZY 10/7/2012 7:46AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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The ABC's of Motivation: bond

Saturday, October 06, 2012

I decided my alphabet this year would be on motivation... since that is the puzzle, continuing motivation, through the years of maintaining healthy habits.

Today's word is bond. I'm picking this particular sense of the word, from my trusty Webster's: "4 a binding agreement; covenant 5 a duty or obligation imposed by a contract, promise, etc."

I've often said one of the most empowering things I can do in a day is to keep a small promise to myself. A fulfilling of a bond, one might call that.

I think this sense of empowerment is part of the reason I "event"... I sign up for one of these things, and then I have in my mind a binding agreement to both prepare for and participate in them. While any given bond of this sort might have "escape" clauses (illness, injury), nothing much has a high enough priority to remove the obligation. My surety bond keeps me working toward them. And when I fulfill one? emoticon

Have you made a "bond" with yourself to maintain healthy habits? Is a "general obligation" bond enough? Or, if you are struggling, perhaps a smaller, special purpose one might serve better?

In any case, bind yourself to have a GREAT today! Because life is GOOD. Spark on! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 10/18/2012 3:42PM

    I have most definitely made a bond with SparkPeople and my Spark friends, and am grateful for the strength of that bond and it's rewards and friendships.

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STEADFASTNSEE 10/14/2012 6:05AM

  I bonded and finished my first walk about a week ago. I will do them again (only it has to be warmer than 47 degrees!!

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WATERMELLEN 10/8/2012 9:44AM

    Great concept: and yes, like you, I've made that bond to myself. For better, for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, and as long as I shall live (sound familiar??)

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_LINDA 10/7/2012 1:06AM

    Another good choice! I have a very simple bond -not to regain the weight as I have done before, in spite of what life might throw at me.

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KARIDIAN1 10/6/2012 4:49PM

    Great word choice and blog.

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DALID414 10/6/2012 2:41PM

    Funny, I read your blog while watching License to Kill, so of course I thought Bond, James Bond. But your bond was better. emoticon

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DLDMIL 10/6/2012 10:45AM

    Well said. Thank you. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 10/6/2012 10:23AM

    Very well said! B definitely is for bonding! HUGS

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LEANJEAN6 10/6/2012 9:17AM

    Bond is good----bond to a worthwhile thing---We can do this!!!! WooWoo! emoticon

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LAURIE5658 10/6/2012 9:06AM

    You know, Barb, I had not thought of what I do when I complete one running event and then register for another in these terms. You are spot on and it just feels so natural. Awesome!

Great blog and on to "C"!

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ALOHAEV1 10/6/2012 8:44AM

    Insightful approach Barb! Love it.

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SWEDE_SU 10/6/2012 8:06AM

    What agreat approach! Yes indeed, a bond is necessary if we are to perform! emoticon

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MSLZZY 10/6/2012 7:13AM

    Excellent! I bind myself to being active every day.
I can see why you chose this word. Have a great weekend.

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DNRAE1 10/6/2012 7:05AM

    Great "b" blog,, alliteration! Have a great day!

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MABELL1WFTX 10/6/2012 6:33AM

    I have always said that the most important promise you can make is the promise you make to yourself. And that is the one promise that you should not break. Keep that promise and may the bond not be broken. My bind today is to give myself more credit than I did yesterday. emoticon

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DEBRA0818 10/6/2012 6:09AM

    It is beyond description to become a person you can count on and you said it perfectly, Barb!


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NEW-CAZ 10/6/2012 6:00AM

    Well said Barb emoticon

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The ABC's of motivation: Awe

Friday, October 05, 2012

According to my little Webster's (yes, I looked it up in a *paper* dictionary), awe is "1 a mixed feeling of reverence, fear, and wonder, caused by something majestic, sublime, sacred, etc."

Awe is a difficult emotion to hold on to, but it really, really stands out in memory. Standing in the presence of wonders of nature does it for me. A sudden moment when you realize and wonder over the changes in your body can bring about that sense of awe, too... over how it's been designed and it works. Where *have* those rolls of fat gone?

There is an "awe" in "ah-hah" moments, beyond the surprise of a new insight. I hang on to that awe and use it to fuel my desires and my actions to live a fuller life, to honor the sacred, sublime and majestic by living in accord (another great A word) with my highest sense of myself.

Which includes living mindfully, in the moment. Because LIFE itself is awe-some. Spark on! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 10/18/2012 3:37PM

    Well said, and written, Barb! Simply emoticon!

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STEADFASTNSEE 10/14/2012 6:02AM

  Some really good A words in the comments as well. HUGS

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WATERMELLEN 10/8/2012 9:45AM

    Life really is awesome when we're healthy and doing all we can to remain that way.

And yeah: I'm still catching myself looking in the mirror and expecting my 230 pound former self and thinking . . . hmmm, pretty awesome!!

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KARIDIAN1 10/5/2012 10:14PM


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DEBRA0818 10/5/2012 10:04PM

    I think one of the reasons we're invited to look at life the way children do is because children are awestruck all the time by everything, which is probably more sensible than the way a lot of adults do it with blinkers on and skepticism blotting out any chance for seeing what a truly awesome world we live in.

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SLENDERELLA61 10/5/2012 6:56PM

    I'm going to enjoy this new structure for your blogs if today's post is any indication. I love that "awe" is part of the ah-hah experience. Yes. And using that awe as motivation is just great. New ways of looking at things! Thanks.

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    Your ability to accept anything around you thar is athletic amazes me emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/5/2012 6:42:14 PM

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    Really great blog!! emoticon

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DLDMIL 10/5/2012 5:51PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DALID414 10/5/2012 4:51PM

    Already loving the alphabet!

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LINDAKAY228 10/5/2012 1:28PM

    Loved it! If we could hold on to and experience the awe moments more we probably wouldn't appreciate them as much. That's what makes them so very special. However sometimes I would love to live in a state of such beauty and wonderful things I am in a continuous state of true awe, but then, again, I probably wouldn't appreciate it.

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SUNNY332 10/5/2012 12:17PM


Loved it!


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NEW-CAZ 10/5/2012 10:07AM

    emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 10/5/2012 9:31AM


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DNRAE1 10/5/2012 9:01AM

    Wonderful beginning to your ABC's! Awe, I love it! emoticon

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_LINDA 10/5/2012 8:44AM

    You score an A+ for this all seeing, appreciation of the wonder called life and nature!
Have a Fantastic Friday and a great weekend!

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DEBRITA01 10/5/2012 8:44AM

    So true...the human body and life itself is awesome! emoticon

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ROXYZMOM 10/5/2012 8:20AM

    Awe, I love this blawg!!

Comment edited on: 10/5/2012 8:21:15 AM

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LAURIE5658 10/5/2012 7:21AM

    And those "awe" moments are so giddylicious!!!!


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MSLZZY 10/5/2012 7:14AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MAGGIE101857 10/5/2012 7:03AM

    Life is awesome!!! I can't wait to be in "awe" tomorrow when I get to hold my grand babies for the first time!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, I love your changing backgrounds! They always show how much you are enjoying life's Awe-ha moments!!! I truly hope I get to meet up with you one day!!! You are one of my greatest inspirations!

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LEANJEAN6 10/5/2012 6:53AM

    Awe=ha moments are so good!==Life is awesome---Lynda emoticon

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Do I know my ABC's in 2012?

Thursday, October 04, 2012

I have done a series of "Alphabet blogs" in 2010, and 2011. The 2010 series didn't have a title, exactly, I was mimicking someone else doing an alphabet series. It had these words:

A - Assimilate, Adapt, Accept
B - Budget
C - Consistency, crazy, compassion, compulsions
D - Diligence
E - Experience
F - Fellowship
G - Genuine
H - Honesty
I - Inspiration
J - Just
K - "kit"
L - listen and learn
M - Mastery living
N - No!
O - Observe
P - Play
Q - Quest
R - restore
S - "should"
T - Time
U - Usable
V - Vitality
W - Wholeness
X - Xenophobia
Y - Yield
Z - Zeitgeist

The 2011 series was called the ABC's of maintenance, and included:
A - Ambition
B - Brain and Body
C - Creativity
D - Distance
E - Evidence
F - Fun
G - Gratitude
H - Heroes
I - Identity and Image
J - Judgement
K - Kindness
L - Life
M - Monday
N - New Normal
O - Occupy
P - Patience
Q - Quiet
R - Recovery
S - Service and Satisfaction
T - Tools
U - Un-doing
V - Vigilence
W - Who
X - X marks the spot
Y - Yo-yo
Z - Zing

The challenge for 2012 is to come up with freshness for each letter of the alphabet. I never know from one day to the next what I'll write, but we start with "A" tomorrow!

Life is good - Spark on! emoticon

P.S. Anybody who wants to blog along your own alphabet, feel free! It's not copyrighted or anything! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 10/5/2012 7:15AM


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DEBRA0818 10/5/2012 6:47AM

    Love it -- it's sometimes hard to think what to write about, but I know it's important (to me) to keep writing. Look forward to your 2012 alphabet!

Go, Barb!


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NEW-CAZ 10/5/2012 3:00AM

    great idea Barb! Looking forward to reading 2012's list! emoticon

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_LINDA 10/5/2012 2:13AM

    No time, I will just enjoy yours ;) As always you keep things interesting around here!

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WATERMELLEN 10/4/2012 9:21PM

    A treat coming up, thank you!

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KARIDIAN1 10/4/2012 9:14PM

    Neat idea. looking forward to what you come up with.

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1CRAZYDOG 10/4/2012 9:06PM

    Great tradition!! Looking forward to the first installment!!

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-STARRYEYED- 10/4/2012 8:56PM

    Fun idea! I think I'll try my hand at it! Look forward to reading the 2012 installment! emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 10/4/2012 7:57PM

    That's quite a tradition you have started. Can't wait for 2012's words! -Marsha

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DNRAE1 10/4/2012 7:28PM

    Cool! Great idea!

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DLDMIL 10/4/2012 7:13PM


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