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A November full of Thankfulness #6

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

I've been having a hard time with my program the past few days. My brother's tag line "you can't out-train a crappy diet" is definitely in play as something in me snapped over the weekend. And once I start down that path, it's very, very hard to come back.

So that leads to today's "thankful". I am thankful that I KNOW I have the brain of an addict, when it comes to certain foods. I may even be thankful that I *DO* have that brain of an addict.

Adversity we face here on earth helps us grow spiritually. It certainly should teach us humility. This is my own rock / boulder to push up the hill. To find the motivation to ask for the willingness, and then the ability to follow my program.

Because as of right now... I need that divine help to get it back. It would be nice if I could say I'm back on top of my game. But there are no guarantees. Only choices.

Back... to... living... life (which IS good)... one Spark at a time! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EBEAMS 11/11/2012 7:55AM

    Ahhh ... the brain is a tricky little thing, isn't it??? We can convince ourselves of ANYTHING if we just listen to that little voice that whispers to us. One thing that I think people don't pay enough attention to is that we are rebellious by nature, even those ones that are meek and mild. In some way, we all have those things that cause us to dig in and get our backs up. I find (generally) that not having control in one area causes me to "act out" in another area, using the old "coping habits" that I am so used to.

I believe in you ... and even with all of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season bearing down on us ... YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Hug and prayers!

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DEBRA0818 11/8/2012 7:02AM

    Well, this is what we do, isn't it? I hope that you find the spark within you that longs for health and well-being enough to give up the far more comfortable and easy way of extra food so that you can return to the plan that created so much success for you.

Extra hugs for you today.

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AMSPARKER 11/8/2012 3:29AM

    i love all of your blogs, they are so thought provoking. you are right, I also have to recognize the addict part of my personality.

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NEW-CAZ 11/8/2012 3:02AM

    emoticon Barb emoticon

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DAWN14163 11/8/2012 1:19AM

    Amen! I could have written this blog....although I'm doing well at the moment, I've "fallen off the wagon" more times than I care to remember! *offers hand to pull you back up on the wagon with me* Come on lass, we can do this!
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DLDMIL 11/7/2012 8:33PM

    Keep fighting, you will come through it and push that boulder up the hill. We are here for you as you have been our motivator. emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/7/2012 8:20PM

    HUGS! You have come such a long way and you certainly have helped LOTS of us who have the same struggles. Just knowing we're not alone -- you're not alone -- I hope that helps.

Keep on pushing, Barb.

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WATERMELLEN 11/7/2012 8:17PM

    That Marsha is such a wise gal: all her techniques are good! We struggle with this over and over and over again: the battle's never won, always still to gain. Yeah.

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DEBRITA01 11/7/2012 8:11PM

    Given life's day to day challenges, it is easy to slip. And, those old addictive behaviors are right there...ready and waiting. You've been here before and you know how to ride it out until willingness and motivation kick back in. Hang in there! emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 11/7/2012 8:07PM

    Sorry for your struggles. So appreciate that you are willing to share, because I can relate so well. There are times I feel I am so far past all that overeating, and then.... And it is hard to get it back on track. That yucky feeling in your mouth and your stomach seem to demand more food/junk. But you do look in the mirror, and look in your eyes. You see a healthy body and you find determination in your eyes. You drink water. You eat veggies. You brush your teeth over and over. You look at the small clothes in your closet. You look at pictures of yourself - before and after. You read your own sparkpage and some of your favorite blogs. You blog. You did good today with this blog. I think the blog means you're half way back on track.

I have no doubt you'll make it the rest of the way -- right away. And you'll put it all in perspective, learn the lesson of today, and be stronger for it. -Marsha

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KARIDIAN1 11/7/2012 8:06PM

    I am at a low level too. Stressed out from work and I turn to food to compensate.

Hang in there.

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A November full of Thankfulness #5

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

I know the last one was a bit of a "downer" but November happens to contain some things that must be acknowledged on my part and faced with what gratitude I can give.

Today I am thankful for sisters. I am blessed with three, individual, unique and wonderful sisters. One is my senior by a couple of years, the others our "baby" sisters, 11 and 13 years our junior.

We aren't the kind of sisters that live on top of one another, in fact we see each other only a few times a year, even though we reside in the same city. Despite this, we are cheerleaders for one another! We each have our own strengths, weaknesses, and methods of coping... and amazingly, understand and accept that.

The true blessing is that none of us attempts to control any of the others. It's a very comfortable group to belong to. We also have one sole brother, for whom I am also grateful. And I know he reads my blogs, so I can't leave him out!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHATPAT18 11/9/2012 6:45AM

    Sisters are a blessing.

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CEHALLA 11/8/2012 7:11AM

    I love my sisters, too. And my two daughters are more like my sisters now that they're grown, and married, and starting families of their own. They are my best friends.

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MSLZZY 11/7/2012 6:03AM

    emoticon

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DALID414 11/6/2012 10:37PM

    I have ONE sister, 2years younger. We've gotten closer as we've gotten older.

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WATERMELLEN 11/6/2012 9:04PM

    Sisters: yay!! Don't know what I'd do without mine!!

And raspberry coconut coffee is one I haven't seen: I have raspberry chocolate truffle, and German chocolate cake (coconut) . . . but I think I could get grateful for raspberry coconut!!

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SLENDERELLA61 11/6/2012 9:03PM

    Very nice blog. I'm glad you have all those sisters as cheerleaders and have a comfy relationship. Good for you!!

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LESLIELENORE 11/6/2012 5:58PM

    I am the baby of the family and the on;y girl. Talk about spoiled! lol... I am thankful I get along with my brothers, and my SILs (even though one brother is divorced, I am still friendly with his ex)...

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LINDAKAY228 11/6/2012 5:31PM

    I am greatful for my brother, but I never had any sisters. I wish I had that opportunity. I watch my 2 daughters be so close, especially since they became adults, and it is such a beautiful thing!

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MOBYCARP 11/6/2012 4:33PM

    Yeah, having sisters is pretty nice. Lucky me, I have 33% more sisters than you do. emoticon

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DLDMIL 11/6/2012 1:01PM

    How wonderful to have sisters. I have 2 older brothers and a young brother. my brother just older than I am, we are close. The oldest and the youngest brothers are close, but not with the middle two of us. I have a couple of girlfiriends that I count as sisters and would do anything for them. emoticon emoticon for sisters.

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NIKKICOLE83 11/6/2012 12:49PM

    I also have two sisters. One whom is nearly 8 years my senior and one who is 6 years below me. I see my younger sister often as we leave really close to each other. My older sister and I only see each other every few months. The good things about sisters is no matter how much time passes, you still have that connection.

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NEW-CAZ 11/6/2012 12:08PM

    Family is everything!

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1CRAZYDOG 11/6/2012 11:52AM

    My sis lives in IL and I in WI but we always talk at least weekly and too are our own best cheerleaders! God love her, my lil sis is fighting lymphoma and kidney disease. NOT EASY . . . but thankfully (and here's the thankful part!) we are both nurses so what one doesn't know to do maybe the other does. In short, she takes wonderful care of herself and much like her BIG SIS has a mouth big enough to advocate very effectively for herself! That makes all the diffence in the health care received.

Of course, we're thankful for the knowledge we have (and the sense to get advice) to make our best choices.

HUGS

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LORILEEPAGE 11/6/2012 10:18AM

    I have no sisters, but my 3 SIL and I are close. Plenty of harmony with my 3 bros as well. Nice to be reminded to be grateful for these, by reading your blog.

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LAURIE5658 11/6/2012 9:32AM

    Family is everything!

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BESTSUSIEYET 11/6/2012 9:11AM

    Sounds like a healthy family!

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DEBRITA01 11/6/2012 8:22AM

    I have 3 sisters and a brother, also...I'm glad to have so many siblings (most of the time:) emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 11/6/2012 8:11AM

    Lots of blessings -=-so nice!----Lynda emoticon

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A November full of Thankfulness #4

Monday, November 05, 2012

Some things are harder to be thankful for than others. Being thankful for them sometimes makes me feel selfish, knowing that other people had different outcomes.

This is a heavy anniversary date: the 5th of November. Three years ago my day started very differently from how it ended. For me, it meant getting some frantic phone calls and worrying. For others, it meant the unspeakable.

I am thankful that my son survived. That he was not among the wounded, much less those who lost their lives.

I don't WANT to be thankful for the sacrifice of lives... but I am thankful for the resilience of those who lost loved ones that day. I am thankful for the courage of the wounded, and how they have kept on going. I am thankful for those who went on to serve missions in the shadow of what happened to their units.

To the thirteen who lost their lives, and to the unborn child who also died... you are not forgotten. To the thirty-two wounded whose lives will never be the same... you are thought of. And to those who did not retain a physical scar at all, but who suffer from having been through that day, losing comrades right in a place you thought was "safe"... you are in my thoughts every day.

We cannot change what happened. We cannot bring people back. But we can live lives that honor their choices. We can be honorable, and honoring. We can face whatever comes our own way with courage and conviction.

Thus, the terror cannot win! emoticon Remembering November 5th, 2009.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHATPAT18 11/9/2012 6:47AM

    A fitting tribute to our troops.

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MSLZZY 11/7/2012 6:11AM

    These 3 years have gone in the blink of an eye.
Excellent blog.

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BESTSUSIEYET 11/6/2012 9:14AM

    I'm thankful for YOU, my friend, and thank you for sharing this! We must remember the hard stuff, too -- but can choose to move past it, to make our lives count, to honor the memory of those we lost. Well done!

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WATERMELLEN 11/6/2012 7:26AM

    A very touching blog: sometimes it is hard to be grateful for, as you say so eloquently, discrepant outcomes . . . .

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EBEAMS 11/6/2012 7:13AM

    God bless our soldiers .. Defenders of our country and guardians of our values. Hugs ..

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_LINDA 11/6/2012 12:11AM

    Something to feel very strongly about and remember to be sure. It was very sad one of your own soldiers turned on his fellows :( Our Remembrance Day is coming up quickly on November 11, but indeed, those poppies could be worn every day to show thanks for all those that served their country and all those wounded and lost in service. So glad your son survived but so very sad for so much senseless loss of life :(
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SHARON10002 11/5/2012 10:33PM

    Thanks to all those who serve . . . Thankful that your son was not one of the injured or fallen.

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KARIDIAN1 11/5/2012 7:36PM

    Thanks for sharing with everyone.

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MNTWINSGAL 11/5/2012 4:01PM

    It was indeed a day that will be remembered....such a tragic loss of lives. Seens like there is a lot of senselessness in these days, but we can't lose hope for the future.

It wasn't your son's day that day, praise God. Prayers for the families who were most deeply affected.

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LESLIELENORE 11/5/2012 12:20PM

    emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 11/5/2012 11:13AM

    A beautiful tribute. Your passion is evident and your words stirring. Your insight is clear. We all need to be thankful for those who protect us. So grateful that your son is well. Appreciate his service greatly.

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DLDMIL 11/5/2012 10:52AM

    Amen. Thank you and all of our Service Members for what they do everyday to protect our freedoms. emoticon emoticon

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DEBRA0818 11/5/2012 9:14AM

    A beautiful remembrance to the unsuspecting heroes of a tragic day. Is there anything worse than a sneak attack by a "fellow" soldier -- the very person who is supposed to stand by you and behind you with valor? You are right to commend those that went forward from that day to their duty with honor and courage. It takes a special person to move forward from a day like that. Our soldiers are special people.

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NEW-CAZ 11/5/2012 8:35AM

    emoticon

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DEBRITA01 11/5/2012 8:24AM

    Thankful that your son was spared and thankful for all who serve to keep our country free... emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/5/2012 8:13AM

    ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))

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A November full of Thankfulness #3

Sunday, November 04, 2012

This one may sound a little strange, but family relationships ARE a little strange at times. Today I put on FB something tamer (sunshine), but here on Spark, I will tell you the truth. I really wanted to say I am thankful that my ex came into my life.

I won't go into the whole history of how it came together and how it came apart, but without him, I would not have my son, which is a HUGE point of gratitude. But there's another aspect to this: all relationships have good times and bad times. These times are twined together, and without one you can't have the other. And yet another: the experiences and relationships we go through in life are there for a reason. We learn, grow, develop, and are shaped by them.

My ex's sister is undergoing a lot of health problems. And my ex was a New Jersey boy before he went off to wear a uniform during Viet Nam. He came back with a purple heart and some issues. He introduced me to the Jersey Shore, specifically to Seaside Heights and Island Beach State Park. With all of this and him on my mind (even to the point of our son was concerned enough about Super Storm Sandy that he found a phone to call him from Afghanistan), I called him last night.

We talk seldom. Interestingly, neither of us has "moved on" to other "romantic" relationships. We were married for nearly 22 years. I can't NOT be grateful for 22 (nay, 29) years of relationship that shapes you into who you need to be for the rest of your life. And who knows? Beyond?

And life IS good. Spark on! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON10002 11/5/2012 10:30PM

    emoticon blog, Barb. My BFF is divorced and she and her ex and his wife, and their children spend every holiday together. They are a very close-knot family to this day.

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LEANJEAN6 11/5/2012 7:38AM

    Good for you Barb--to forgive and move on--It must lighten your load a lot---and you have a wonderful on!-Lynda emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/4/2012 9:14PM

    what a sweet blog! HUGS

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ANDI571 11/4/2012 7:32PM

    There is such healing in your blog. Bitterness will eat our soul away, but coming to a healing heart, happiness can move in. Good for you Barb.

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KARIDIAN1 11/4/2012 7:05PM

    I must be weird or something. No real experience with divorce to speak of in our family. This is a good thing I think.

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COMETER 11/4/2012 6:16PM

    Ages ago when I was just out of college, I was with an older friend when someone dissed her ex. I expected her to agree with that person and spend a little time dissing him together. But she didn't. She said something polite.

Then later she mentioned how awkward she had felt because clearly she and her husband had been very in love at one time, and he was her son's father. And she still had regard for him, even in the midst of the broken relationship.

I learned a lot from that about perspective, and about being willing to hold a bunch of emotions all in the same heart.

Good on you!

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ROXYZMOM 11/4/2012 4:52PM

    Very nice blog. My brother is going through a very bad divorce right now - I hope someday they will feel the same way.

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MOBYCARP 11/4/2012 4:48PM

    Yes. Without that 29 or 20 year relationship, you and I would be different people than we are today. There was enough bad stuff in the relationships to justify ending them; but it wasn't all bad, and some of the lessons learned through the pain were very good lessons indeed. Thank you for the reminder to be grateful for the good that comes out of bad situations.

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BLUE42DOWN 11/4/2012 1:45PM

    I don't think it's that strange at all. One thing in this life that I don't have is a desire to go back and do things differently. Sure, maybe I wouldn't have carried debt for years if I hadn't met my EX, but I'd also have missed out on DDa and DS, and might not have learned some of the healthier money skills I was forced to. Even the most negative moments are part of creating the whole fabric of who we are.

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_LINDA 11/4/2012 1:06PM

    Amazing and healthy attitude! That was a long relationship for you to have lost. Very well done to look at the bright side and not be bitter. That is awesome you can still talk to him. Your son has a great role model in you being honest and open.
We have yet another great example from you why its better to look at the postivies rather than dwell on the negatives.

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LESLIELENORE 11/4/2012 12:54PM

    How wonderful that you can communicate with him. Usually it is the children who end up suffering the most when a family breaks up. Your son must be a wonderful person.

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DEBRITA01 11/4/2012 12:54PM

    I also believe people come into our life for a reason. Oftentimes when there is pain and bitterness we don't always understand. Your positive approach allows you to focus on the good times and blessings as a result of the relationship...and frees you to move forward. I applaud and respect that. I appreciate your willingness to share your insights with us... and, your blog also reminded me of my daily buzz word: accept. emoticon

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 11/4/2012 12:18PM

    It is good to remember our relationships, fondly. There is no doubt in my mind that everything and everyone comes into our lives for a reason.
I am currently on a downside, but I know it will all work as it should. I really needed your inspiring words today.
It is so much better to be grateful than bitter!

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DLDMIL 11/4/2012 12:17PM

    Thank you for this reminder. I have to ex's and three wonderful children out of those two relationships. I never speak to them, but maybe someday it will be necessary and I will remind myself that I have moved on and have grown from those relationships. emoticon emoticon

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DEBRA0818 11/4/2012 11:16AM

    What a wonderful rapproachment with your ex-husband. The errors I make every day are enough to encourage me to look at others with extreme charity hoping that I receive the forgiveness I am so ready to give.

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NEW-CAZ 11/4/2012 10:30AM

    love your attitude Barb, great way to keep a friendship and not allow any bitterness!'

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VICTORY2XS 11/4/2012 10:22AM

    Excellent point made. I feel similarly about my ex - he was a huge part of my life and in the life of my daughter (raised her from 2 years to 15 years old). Both she and I would not be the same people if he was not part of our lives, and both of us are truly grateful for him.

I have moved on and engaged to a terrific man. My daughter is now 20 and we often talk about the good times of her earlier childhood.

Thanks for the reminder to be thankful for those who shaped our lives.

Best wishes!

Denise

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LINWINAGAIN 11/4/2012 10:17AM

    I like your attitude! Some times we get hung up on the bad memories, but if we would just tweak our thoughts, we would remember there were more great times than we give ourselves credit for. God bless!

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WATERMELLEN 11/4/2012 10:13AM

    I do a lot of divorce work. Gotta say, wish more people reached this point of view instead of dwelling in bitterness . . . way better for themselves, their kids, and extended family.

Love your candour. And your wisdom.

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A November full of Thankfulness #2

Saturday, November 03, 2012

Yesterday on my drive to work I thought how thankful I was for dreams, dreams that we turn into realities by turning them into little goals and then keeping promises to ourselves.

Imagine my surprise when I got home after work and found my cousin's wife had used her "I am thankful for" to give thanks for dreams! So this morning, I posted that "I am thankful for a warm bed and a good night's sleep."

emoticon Good sleep and dreams are related. But there's another reason for this particular thankfulness... not everyone HAS a warm bed and uninterrupted time for sleep. This echoes my niece's recent "thankful" post for clean water, and another for a secure roof over her head.

Often, in the comfort of our lives, we forget or find it convenient to block off our awareness of pain and suffering of many. Beyond the storm victims in our own country, there is the rest of the world, many of whom live in poverty we cannot even imagine. This is in fact a form of self-preservation... too much wallowing can be bad for us, emotionally. But turning completely away can also be bad for us.

A part of me wails, "I cannot help them all." Or, "Giving up my lifestyle won't make a dent in the vastness of their need." This, too, is a form of self-preservation. To stop the potential of despair at the vastness of human need. But giving up a little, contributing to a cause helps us bear a part of the burden.

Yesterday, they canceled the New York marathon, that the generators and porta pots and food that had been gathered for the event could be distributed to those in need in that area. There has been much debate over this, but I believe it to be a right thing to do. It makes sense.

For today... I shall do at least one small thing to help others in need... so that they, too, may be able to be grateful for things like warm beds and a good night's sleep. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 11/7/2012 6:09AM

    To lose one's home and daily comforts is devastating.
It seems even worse considering the winter weather
that is coming. Do what you can to help others and
pray for all affected.

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SHARON10002 11/5/2012 10:24PM

    I agree - what's more important? A race or cleaning up after a hurricane to get everyone back to where they're safe and warm? I hope all of those who are out in the streets will be able to get back into the warmth of a warm bed and a hot shower.

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DALID414 11/4/2012 4:35PM

    I don't think the marathon debate should have been a debate! Help those in need first should always make sense!!

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DLDMIL 11/4/2012 12:20PM

    Well said and thanks for posting this blog to remind us all of the things we have to be thankful for. emoticon emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 11/4/2012 8:54AM

    I like your new pics on yer page Barb--I'm Thankful for you being here on Spark--Did I tell you that?-Lynda emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 11/4/2012 7:45AM

    Thanks, Barb. Reminding us that we can do something. Today I will, I promise. And I'll think of you. And be thankful in many ways that I know you!

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MOBYCARP 11/3/2012 8:45PM

    For the record: I'm also grateful that your niece had a solid roof over her head and good running water before the remnants of Sandy got here. There could have been an interesting story to be told if she'd still been in the old apartment, but I can live without ever hearing that story!

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KARIDIAN1 11/3/2012 8:16PM

    That was a good thing to do cancel the marathon and use the supplies for those in need.

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MNTWINSGAL 11/3/2012 6:56PM

    I think the right decision all along was to have cancelled the NYC Marathon.

BUT I think they totally dropped the ball in first announcing it would go on as scheduled, and then changing their minds. People come from far and wide for this event, and I'm sure many scrambled at the last minute when they were told the race was on, only to waste their time and resources, and then learn (in some cases too late) that it was off after all.

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_LINDA 11/3/2012 4:28PM

    That was so right to cancel the marathon. Honestly, what were they even thinking? So glad the supplies will help victims of the storm. Speaking of running, our local running store has bins set up for donating shoes we no longer need or use that are in decemt shape. They go to African children who have no shoes and have to go barefoot. As I have great difficulty with my constantly changing feet (thanks RA) I go through a lot of shoes and they find homes in these bins, some of them quite new. A pair that fits me well one year may rub on a bad spot the next. Very frustrating, but I am happy to do one tiny bit of good with them. But it is a flood tide. There is too much out there that needs help. But if everyone did just one little thing, that would make at least one person's life a little bit better.

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LINDAKAY228 11/3/2012 3:15PM

    I agree with the race cancellation. It was the right thing to do at this time. We do have so much to be grateful for and often don't see it.

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WATERMELLEN 11/3/2012 12:49PM

    Gratitude in action: yeah. Passing it on brings it home.


You may be interested in a couple links I added to my MMOB blog providing examples of "Canajun" style neutral media on the topic of the American election . . . in response to an inquiry from TIFFN108. I am grateful for the kind of news coverage we get here . . .

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KNEWMETODAY 11/3/2012 12:43PM

    It almost goes without saying that we have much to be grateful for, much that we take for granted. Unfortunately, tragic events are sometimes the catalyst for making us realize where we are in relation to the rest of the world. It's about many doing a little--not one of us is in a position to fix it all.

Thank you for your post...it's always a good thing to be reminded that we can all make a difference.

Kathy

Comment edited on: 11/3/2012 12:44:13 PM

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LESLIELENORE 11/3/2012 11:19AM

    I think there is a line between wallowing and consciousness. There is a lot in this world I wish I could fix, but that just isn't going to happen, so I just do what I am able to do. Sometimes it doesn't seem like enough, but something is better than nothing.

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KANOE10 11/3/2012 9:38AM

    That was a thoughtful post and very true. I think it was the right thing to call of the marathon. Thanks for reminding us to reflect on others and to help them. Also we need to be thankful for our precious daily moments.

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MAGGIE101857 11/3/2012 9:32AM

    The right decision, but he should have made it earlier in the week. That said, hopefully some good will come out of it; it was good to see the running community coming together and offering to help wherever they could.

Let's give thanks for all that we have (instead of me yelling at Bob right now for having the heat cranked up to the point I can't breathe). I wish I could send the heat to others! It's best to remember that any offer of help, no matter how big or small, will help someone. I've been through disasters so I know first hand how the smallest act of kindness can make someone's day!!

God bless all! emoticon

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ROXYZMOM 11/3/2012 9:18AM

    Very nice blog! One of the reasons I love this time of year. Except for the elections, it tends to bring people together.

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1CRAZYDOG 11/3/2012 9:15AM

    I am so glad that the decision was made to help our own who are in need vs. hosting an event in the midst of such devastation and need. I am very glad that the resources are going to be put to better use.

I am very thankful to have nutritious food in my house, the medicine I need and a roof over my head.

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NEW-CAZ 11/3/2012 7:15AM

    I think it was the right decision too, the marathon can happen anytime, people need help NOW!

We are indeed fortunate to sleep in beds, have clean drinking water, food aplenty and sometimes we need to relect on that.
Great blog Barb, bless you hun emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 11/3/2012 6:57AM

    Oh Barb------helping SOMEONE--in need to-day--even speaking to an older person in line, somewhere-=-They are our invisable part of society--unnoticed------It will make their day!!!-----Great blog!!! We have a lot to be thankful for-Lynda emoticon

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