Sunday, March 17, 2013
The past few weeks I've been noticing dreams more. Dreaming is good for us. Gives the mind a chance to work things out. This morning, as I deliberately slept in, I noticed three distinct dreams, all of which I can see are related to the current work project and relationships in the work place.
In one, I am heatedly arguing with my boss, just trying to get her to tell me what she really wanted when she wasn't pleased with what I did. Can we spell performance anxiety? While we haven't had such an argument in real life, there HAVE been instances in the past few months when I made a calming statement about we can only do what we can in a day... only to be countered by the threat of mandatory (unpaid) overtime in the future.
At the moment I can't remember the specifics of the other two, but they are in similar vein... you know the ones where you forget you had a test in school... and wake up to find not only do you have one, but you're late for it? (In fact, I actually lived that dream on a German oral exam, back in the day.)
The deal with dreams like this is that they are seldom the reality. They are our minds working out the anxieties... you wake up, say "whew! Glad that was a dream!" and move on refreshed with your day. What I have observed in the waking life is that of the anxieties I imagine, few really come to pass... because they spur me to adjust, make plans, and get moving.
That's the sedentary job "get things done" kind of moving, though. And I started to ponder: every time I have been successful in taking good care of myself physically, nutrition, exercise, etc., it has been because I made it my TOP priority.
Sometimes it is easier than others to MAKE it the top priority. When things are going smoothly at work, it's easier to make the healthy habits tops. When a bigger issue (like a deployed son) makes work seem like a minor stress... well, then it is ALSO easier to make the healthy habits a top priority. After all, I'm taking care of me so he can do what he needs to do and not worry about his mu-ther.
But now work IS the top stresser. I am having to re-program my personality all over again... to remind myself that I don't have to do it all, or sacrifice self care.
Show of hands... how many of you out there struggling to find time to take care of yourselves hated group work in school? Of those of you holding your hands up, how many of you used to hog all the work of the group, just to make sure your group would get an A? Yeah? Really? How many of you took work away from someone else because they weren't doing it (or weren't doing it fast enough to please you)? If you did, did you do that work yourself?
Now let's move on to parenthood: how many of you "helped" with your kids' homework to the extent of almost doing it for them? How many of you let them take on their own responsibility, and live with the consequences? How many of you cleaned their rooms, rather than making them live with the mess they created?
So... back to my current pep talk. If we, as a group, fail to reach our goal... it's NOT my job to try to plug every gap. It *is* my job to take good care of my health so I can do my part, not the entire project.
Laughing at my dreams, but learning from them... this is going to be a great day! Spark a great one yourselves, people. For you are worth it. And LIFE is good!