Thursday, June 27, 2013
My blogs are about me, and how I am dealing with life. They are NOT intended to be a critique of my workplace, any of the people I work with, my family members, or any of the other people in my life. They are truly "all about me", and dealing with the feelings that present themselves to me.
Some of the things I say *could* at times offend someone who is on the other side of my feelings, and *could* turn into a he-said, she-said flame war if it went that way (and the other person was aware I said them). When I wrote yesterday about a particular e-mail not being an apology, for example, could cause the writer of that e-mail to become defensive. And I'm not interested in a non-productive distraction.
I thought about this, and as a result, chose to take two of my blogs down, because they mentioned events at work and had a bit more "opining" than I am comfortable with, dancing a line. This is a fact: I've been mandated to work overtime. This is a perception: We are all under a lot of stress right now and I'm more sensitive to what I perceive as criticism when under stress.
What it's really all about is me... and what I do about my feelings. Because I am an emotionally-triggered overeater. So the rest, i.e. what I chose to do: take a walk, ride the bike to work, eat what's in the bag, write a blog, etc. are the relevant bits... not the internal "opining" that triggered the feelings to begin with.
That said: I'm having "a week". After the overnight duty on Friday-Saturday, my sleep schedule disrupted, I've been not at the top of my game.
Monday, I left my day planner at home. Fortunately, while at work, I operate off the computer version.
Tuesday, I managed to make it to work missing my wallet. Fortunately, I had everything I needed packed in the lunch bag. And my coffee card was in the desk drawer.
YESTERDAY... I managed to get to work on my bicycle... MISSING THE BAG! (Yes, the "eat what's in the" bag.) Fortunately, there are healthy options, including fruit and nuts and a salad option at the cafeteria in the basement of the work building... AND I didn't forget the same thing twice, i.e. my wallet was with me.
This morning, I awoke to find e-mail from my older sis... from the hospital. She's had a health flare up that has landed her there! And Kelsey has had an up and down week, still on life support, stable, now entering the third week.
So... that's life. For today:
* Remember to TAKE the bag. Eat what's in it.
* Drink your water... is good for you.
* No bike today... check in with sister after the mandatory OT and maybe swing by hospital to see her!
* It will NOT kill you to take a rest day from the other exercise, but don't forget to go to recess... walking breaks at work do help keep you sane-r. Or less in-sane.
LIFE is precious, and fragile. Savor it. Recognize moments of happiness. Be as kind as you can... to yourself as well as to others. And Spark on!
Monday, June 24, 2013
This morning something struck me in my Spark daily e-mail. It was the grin on the face of the "success story" featured blog. And it was MOBYCARP's blog about battling to maintain motivation. And it has been my own reaction (physical and mental) to the prospect of the overtime. It is the reminder of the JOY that comes with shedding weight and becoming active.
And it is the reminder of how much easier life is in the lower weight range than it was in the upper range! Not that life becomes perfect, it does not. All those things that drove you nuts at 225, still drive you nuts at 125.
BUT... you do different things with the nuts. And if you are wise, you pay attention to small details.
Last night, I got myself out the door. It was warm and the sun shone down, even though it was "late" in the day. It started out as a walk, just to get the 10,000 steps in. Moderate speed, I told myself. It's warm out here. I was wearing shorts, walking shorts, not running shorts. But I had on my Lincoln Marathon tech shirt, kind of my personal statement to myself that I'm NOT going to let this OT thing get me down.
I flipped on the Runkeeper app on my smart phone, as well as the tunes, and started down the sidewalk. I turned into the neighborhood park. When I got to the other side of the park, I had a choice to make. Loop back into the neighborhood, or cross the street and go "around the lake". Often this decision hinges on whether there is a break in traffic. It's a busy street.
There was a break, so I crossed the street. I was now committed to go by the golf course. I told myself I would go see the lake, but I could turn around after I had gone 15 minutes, to get my 30 minutes of walking, no matter what, in.
But something happened. I hit the ten minute mark and shortly thereafter made the turn into the walk-way between the golf course and the houses of the neighborhood. And my... legs... wanted... to jog. So... I... did. Intervals, right? 1 minute... then walk again?
You could almost see the stress get stripped away as this progressed. I stopped worrying about the time, and just jogged to the end of the lane where it would turn. I took a walk interval. I jogged slow and easy... and it came to me as the joy in motion grew... and as the stress melted away... that all those motivational speakers are right.
Right about what? That the hardest part of your workout is getting yourself to walk out the door to begin with. Once you start, the joy takes over. OK, this may not happen the very first time you work out (on the other hand, some people do become addicted at first outing)... BUT once you have done the hard work, this corner DOES turn... and you get to "here". Here, where the fit body has a mind of its own about what it wants to do.
If you have it with you, the music gets to you: Don't stop believing, the eye of the tiger, what makes you beautiful, walking on the sun, tubthumping, some nights... all the tunes I had downloaded as rewards for myself. They just pulled me along.
I finished that run/walk at 4.12 miles. "Just to get 10,000 steps in." But I got a whole lot more. Drenched in healthy sweat, I followed up with a shower and a proper bedtime.
Now it is Monday morning. I am armed for this work week. Let me savor and remember this workout. A good workout is a way to remind myself that fit is where I want to be... that for as long as I'm granted the ability to be active, I need this. Remember.
LIFE is good... Spark on!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
I need a pep talk on Sunday? Isn't that church day? Don't you get the pep talk at church?
Well... yes, but... there are pep talks and there are pep talks.
First, to give God glory, let's give folks an update on Kelsey... a story abundant with gratitude. I'm going to quote her mom's latest FB status, posted last evening:
"She got a bath today and the nurses washed her hair..She's stable..She had an issue with bleeding today, where the tubing goes into her artery..they are controlling it..they woke her up some today, to check to see what she can do..blink her eyes, squeeze their hands, wiggle her toes..She's sedated again..She's still on the ecmo machine, still on the ventilator..her heart is beating and pulsing..pray that her heart and lungs keep healing."
This is now well into the second week on that heart-lung machine, but the fact that she can blink and squeeze hands and understands the doctor's requests to do these small things speaks well of ongoing recovery, slow as it seems to those watching.
Prayers are a wonderful thing... knowing they are being raised helps everyone keep positive. And here is her (Kelsey's) daughter, playing in the hospital's healing garden. Clearly being well cared for by other caring relatives / friends:
Praise the Lord of Life and the God of Wisdom in providing and preserving these lives.
You know, now that I've posted this... I almost don't need that pep talk! But, in any case:
Remember all you have to be grateful for, today and every day... use this to combat the things you feel negative about, until the negative turns around and God's purpose in it is revealed.
Conserve your health and your energy, so you can do the most important things:
1) "Eat what's in the bag"... even though there is no bag today, you have the plan, and you know what WOULD be in it!
2) "Remember to go to recess"...
3) Prepare for the week ahead... bag those healthy snacks so you'll have what goes IN the bag. Get the laundry done so you'll have the most important bit of your wardrobe for the upcoming week: athletic socks!
4) Hug someone today! (Going to the Mellers with my sis & her daughter... might be a few others there to add to the hug crew...)
5) Drink your water (it will keep you away from the popcorn?)
6) Go to bed on time and get that routine re-established.
LIFE is good. You *do* love your work (blog about that sometime). Spark on!
Friday, June 21, 2013
It is a gift.
Let me see it as such, and appreciate it as such.
Let me not try to repaint it into what it is not.
Let me live it, and allow the feelings brought on by my will be washed over and processed in a healthy way. Let me be willing and able to be used for the purpose of my maker.
Thank you, Lord, for the abundance of clean, clear water available for me to drink, for not everyone has this.
Thank you, Lord, for the many healthy options for food to fuel my body. Help me choose wisely and without greed in their use today. For there are those who do not have enough.
Thank you, Lord, for the ability to move my body under its own power. Let me appreciate this and remember to take the moments to use my feet and legs to transport me where I need to go, and not just sit on my sit-upon!
Thank you, Lord, for a safe and comfy place to sleep.
There is so much to be grateful for, let me focus on that, and not on things that aren't going "my way". Give me the gift of acceptance of Your direction. And help me appreciate Your hand in all things.
Oh, yeah, sorry about that, Sparklies... prayin' my way through the start of the day. Spark on. LIFE is good.
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