Friday, July 26, 2013
I should qualify. I have a love-hate relationship with finish lines. Or anything resembling them. I have used this analogy related to "goal weight". I have used it quite literally with athletic "big goals" and achieving them. I now use it related to a work project... we are meeting our date into the next testing tier. The "reason" for the mandatory overtime is about to evaporate... unless there are problems, redesigns in test, or any of the myriad things that can "go wrong" in a development project at this stage.
A perfect storm: the virtual finish line at work is coinciding with the tri's day in the sun.
During a taper week... into the impending vacuum pours the self-evaluation of my performance, which is the most problematic of all. This is the self-conversation about "what is my purpose in life?", and "am I fulfilling it?" Being busy, these thoughts can be shoved aside... when the finish line is crossed, they must be addressed.
I feel... weary. I feel the voices of Polly Perfectionist and the People Pleaser going round and round. But for today... I will put one foot in front of another. I will listen quietly for the truth of my purpose, for a direction that lets me serve my Maker's purpose, not my own wilfulness, and not some other human being's desire to use me in ways that drain me. I will pray for wisdom, serenity and courage... to live life, fully.
This too shall pass. And while it is doing so... I must remember to take the best care of me that I can:
* Drink that water.
* Eat what's in the bag... excess food will NOT make the angst go away. And might make it worse.
* Remember to breathe... and listen. There *is* a guiding voice that's NOT the wilful, the perfectionist, or the people pleasers... but you have to wait for it. When "busyness" stops, I have to be really, really careful about this.
* GO TO RECESS, already! It opens the ears.
LIFE is good. Live it in the moment. Namaste.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Here's the story: I had signed up for these three events, and then the overtime mandate came down, and I had "a plan". I would do my first two events as "the last long workout(s)" before the tri. And then have a taper week in between.
Only problem is: first couple of days after the bike ride... exhausted, and focus was on sleep and nutrition. Now, Thursday, I feel me coming back... that "coiled spring" feeling. I want to run, or swim, or bike... but there is the overtime thing going on.
So... we shall see how it works out. Maybe a quick run after work tonight? Not a long one, but something to let the coils relax a bit. Because Thursday/Friday is two days too soon to be in this state.
My fellow Sparkers... take good care of you today. Make your decisions consciously about what to do:
* Drink that water.
* Breathe and be aware of the air around you, coming in, going out.
* Stretch, get up and move around: remember to go to recess.
* Eat what's in the bag, that's why you packed it.
* And rejoice in being alive... there is much to be grateful for.
My fellow Sparklers: each and every one of you is worthy of a full and healthy life. Do your best to support it with how you think about, talk to, and nurture yourself today!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
but I'm running out of pre-work time to write stuff.
Seriously, I've had this running jumble of "why I blog", "I've been blogging pretty regularly since sometime in mid-2010", etc. I've blogged my way through two deployments of a son. I've blogged my way through celebrations, and whines, and about a ga-zillion pep talks to myself. Through half marathons, trips, triathlons, family sorrows... LIFE, in short, and all that can happen.
So have many of the folks whose blogs I follow. There's a lot going on out there in all our lives. The constant of blogging, to me, is all about motivation, and I have noticed over time, an evolution in what I need to blog about.
It's all about where you are on the journey at the time. I've thought about how my blogs are similar to my dad's "Ken's Komments" columns that he wrote years ago for a small town newspaper, and later for an internal employee publication at the company he worked for. I've thought about the differences between a private journal and a blog where folks are able to see what one writes.
I went back and observed that I have 84 pages of blogs here on Spark, in "outline view". Some of them are probably pretty repetitive. I went back to some of the dates of significance in my life and found blogs that didn't mention those things AT ALL.
Bottom line, there's the inner life and there's the outer life. There's the public face. I so liked this motivational saying:
The behind the scenes is what we all truly live. The highlight reel is the celebration blogs! So if all you've ever read of someone are their successes, it doesn't really tell you what they plowed through to get there. Knowing that YOU are capable of plowing through, too... priceless.
So I guess I'm down to a quick set of reminders: YOU are worth taking care of TODAY. Remember what you really, really want: to be cared for, to be healthy... and then give yourself that gift.
* Drink that water.
* Eat what's in the bag.
* Remember to go to recess.
You're alive on the planet! Spark on!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
The cat is now on my lap. Prisoner had just asked to go outside, took one look at the pouring rain, and opted to stay indoors today. He is giving me the kind of feline glare that only the king of the house can give. He is not amused.
I, on the other hand, am rejoicing. We NEED this rain.
And just as the parched earth needs a good rain, we humans need our water, too... so on to the basic pep talk:
* Drink your water!
* Eat what's in that bag! Yes, that one with the healthy lunch and snacks you got up in time to pack for the workday!
* As fascinating as that work puzzle may be, remember to go to recess... it helps your body function better, but it also helps your MIND!
* Breathe and stretch from time to time.
* And lift a little prayer of gratitude while you're at it. LIFE is good. It is precious and fragile, and well worth being PRESENT for, each and every moment.
Spark on, dear friends. You're worth it!
Monday, July 22, 2013
All my weeks of late have been taper weeks. I've kind of lapsed into being a "weekend warrior" because of the OT, and how I decided to cope with it. Break walks and hold the line during the week. On the weekends have more active fun.
The good thing about Summer is that there are LOTS of activities to choose from. The sad thing about Summer is that you have to pick and choose. One person cannot be in multiple places at once. So, while I was out doing my Cornhusker State Games events, there was an "Uplifting Athletes" run down at Memorial Stadium that I had to bypass. And there was the annual Relay for Life that I had to miss, too... my kid sis SPINNINGJW represented the family at THAT important event.
Since I haven't mentioned it in a while... Kelsey progress... this past week they moved her to a local rehab facility, where she is receiving physical therapy and continuing her recovery. I have to believe that seeing her daughter the week of July 4th really spurred her recovery motivation strongly... and of course now that she's local, she sees the babe more often. Over the weekend, for the first time in a while, she posted FOR HERSELF on FaceBook, saying simply that she is doing well. The gratitude on the part of this whole family is immense. To those of you who have continued to pray through this: THANK YOU!
And speaking of family, that's how my weekend ended, with a family and friends birthday / pool party, in honor of one of my niece's 16th birthday a couple of weeks ago. We all had fun, and SPINNINGJW got up on the diving board to show us she still has what it takes, trying out a few dives for the first time in a couple of years, she says. Nowadays few pools support diving boards, due to liability risks, and for someone who loves to dive (as Jen does), this is a problem. Hard to find training venues if you're not an elite.
The second photo is proof I was there, taken by the mom of the niece. The other gal in the photo is a family friend who we say is "related by cat" because she adopted our dad's cat after he passed and no one else was able to take Mindy in.
And now, back to life as we love it:
* Drink that water.
* Remember to go to recess.
* Be grateful for every good moment, and accept that not every moment may be good, but ENOUGH of them ARE.
* Eat what's in that bag, it's why you packed it.
LIFE if good. Live it to the full. YOU are worth it. Spark on!
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