Saturday, May 22, 2010
Today has been perfect... I went nowhere! I was up at 4 a.m., but snoozed in the afternoon. I puttered around the house, did laundry, sorted through papers, etc. and in general am just readjusting to being home. Last weekend was so busy, and extended into Monday due to the travel issues. It seems to me as though I haven't had a weekend for two weeks.
The trip was enjoyable and very worth-while, but it required energy, and it disrupted routine. And the rest of life kept charging forward when I got back. On Wednesday, the stitches came out of my arm where the doctor had removed that spot the week before. "Good catch" was the pathologist's comment: this is a type most often missed before it turns into cancer (the odd words they added were "with pigmentation incontinence"). But he got it all, so that was good news.
Coming back to the reality of SparkPeople and some self-awareness: because NO ONE can do it all, I had given myself a break from tracking on line. And due to the stitches and doctor's orders, I had avoided strength training for a week and a half.
So, now it's time to get back to things, being careful to avoid the pitfalls of "is that all there is" and "I got through that, now I can relax" thinking. Maintenance of a changed lifestyle differs from the mind-set of "diet to achieve a number on the scale." Maintenance is all about healthy habits, healthy behaviors, and balance.
Today has served for me as a buffer zone to re-adjust my grip on life, kind of like when you walk on a balance beam and pause to re-balance yourself... in some very important ways, every day is . I'm glad to have had a chance to slow down and give this particular Day One its space.
Monday, May 17, 2010
I just got home, about half an hour ago, salad in bag. Stuck overnight in Denver! After the diversion to Austin on Friday that makes two side trips on the main trip. It was a great hotel both in San Antonio (right on the Riverwalk, walking distance to the Alamo, all the touristy stuff to do on the side) and in Denver. Great workout rooms both places, and I'm glad to report I made use of them.
The one in San Antonio was on the 22nd floor, and I was doing my treadmill stuff at 5 a.m. so it was still dark and you were gazing out at the lights of the city. The one in Denver... well, let us say they had "free disposable headsets" for the guests to wear while tuning in to the personal TV screens attached to the treadmills.
Two things I noticed in Denver: snow on the mountains in May is more than I've seen in my past visits in September and in August. And Prairie dogs! I had forgotten that the prairie dogs build thriving communities between the lanes of the interstates... and there they sit, perched on the lips, poking their heads up as the vehicles whiz by.
San Antonio: What's to say, a gorgeous town. I got museum'd out. Lots of steps on the pedometer. And I was proud of my food choices, although I did get over-peopled, too. I'm ready to cave, only I have to go back to work tomorrow.
Meantime, kept spreading the word about the Yellow Ribbon family programs for the Army Reserve... it's a different challenge for reservists than it is for active duty folk. Events like the one I just attended in San Antonio hopefully will start addressing our geographical dispersion. We had people fly in from as far away as Maine and California, Wisconsin and Nebraska, to come together because our loved ones are serving together. Hopefully we've formed some lasting bonds and can keep in touch to support one another!
Kind of like... Spark... People? (Speaking of which, I was out there promoting Spark, just a bit... because people asked.)
Turtles, I promise to get to the moon miles... sometime!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Add thunderstorms to airplanes and mix well. For the first time in all my years of flying, I was on a plane that got diverted to a different destination than its originally intended one. I'd had lots of other adventures in flying over the years but this was a first for me.
But, despite that little 4 hour side-trip, I did end up in a beautiful place at the event I was fretty about last weekend. And as I knew it would, it is turning out to be "just what I need". Anybody else have that trait? Resist doing something, do it anyway, and be glad?
Pretty much the same with our healthy living efforts. I'll be brief as I'm writing from the hotel, but I'm thinking of my spark friends, and the turtles headed moonward... I may not get our totals posted 'til Monday, but we WILL all get credit for our efforts!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Today was the day the doctor excised the spot on my arm, the one that had been biopsied to find Actinic Keratosis. I also pointed out another spot behind my ear on the same side (right hand side). He froze that one and said he'll check it again to see if it needs to be treated a second time when I go back to get the stitches out, a week from Friday.
Thanks to all for the encouraging words on Sunday's entry... the event I was stressing over? Hasn't happened yet! I stress far in advance of these things... at least now I know that's what I'm doing and have a chance to take out the feelings and examine them and come up with strategies for dealing with them.
The "no weigh" challenge? I'm down to the three times a week I agreed to. And I didn't die from it. I am indeed maintaining, as I am aiming to do. I plan on continuing this effort... it's really good for me!
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Free floating emotions and free time are not a good combination for me. They tend to lead to "false" signals of hunger. What I have learned over the years, and hopefully address in better ways, is that feelings don't happen when they "should" according to logic or plan. They just happen. Feelings are legitimate whenever they happen, and must be addressed, acknowledged and hopefully at that point one can move on.
Sometimes I have problems allowing for the legitimacy of my own feelings when I perceive that someone else has had to deal with much worse. Say I have to work overtime, and feel sorry for myself, then I find someone else has lost their job. Job loss is something that I may fear far more than a little overtime. But if I don't acknowledge the two things at work here - self-pity and fear / anxiety, chances are good I'll "feel" hungry.
Today is Mother's Day. Which of course dredges up feelings attached to the mother-daughter relationship with my own mom, mother-son relationship with my child, and of course by extension the relationship with my daughter in law. What were we thinking when we invented holidays celebrating relationships? Well, obviously we were thinking of counting our blessings, of which we all have many. But it can also bring up regrets or comparisons, so being aware that this can happen is a good thing!
The alignment of dates can trigger emotions, too. I got married in May. Last night I called my ex for the first time in many months. This may sound weird, but I hadn't seen his green light on IM in several weeks, and my threshold of worry was exceeded. He lives alone, as do I, so a check-up call is not necessarily a bad thing every so often. We ended up chatting for about an hour and a half, which is about my limit... but of course, talking with him always dredges up feelings, good and bad, associated with a 22 year marriage than ended sadly. 'Nuff said.
I'm preparing to go to an event where I will see family members of others who are deployed with my son. I will be going alone, as my daughter in law has opted not to go. I am acknowledging a little social anxiety about the whole deal. Some of these folks I have met only once, at a similar event last September. Others I have never met. And... a lot of things have happened to our loved ones in the past several months.
This blog today is a periodic reminder to myself to not attach any judgment to feelings. They just are. They do not have to have reason or justification to appear. Here's to acknowledging feelings, and having a healthy response ready.
Get An Email Alert Each Time ONEKIDSMOM Posts