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Friday let-down

Friday, July 09, 2010

I suppose this day went OK, until I got home to an e-mail from my sister in law.

This would be my ex's sister. I found out tonight. She says she tried to e-mail me from the hospital, but it didn't work. She had a heart attack on Tuesday, she tells me, in a matter of fact way. They put stents in her femoral artery, and she's much better now. She is recuperating at home, being careful to follow all her doctor's instructions.

She's my age. About three weeks younger than I, in fact. Their older brother died of a heart attack mowing the grass at their mom's house (I wrote a little about that earlier in the week)... she was... mowing her lawn.

I think I need to start visiting her more often. We both have a bit of workaholic in us... checking up a little more often would be a good thing.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALOHAEV1 7/11/2010 7:51AM

    Speedy recovery...guess we all need to stop putting off until tomorrow what we want or should do today. Most of us are clearing time to do just that, thank you for a timely reminder!

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KATIE33MAHALA 7/10/2010 10:14AM

    Prayers for her and a speedy recovery. And I have to say, its wonderful you are close to her, sounds as though you have a very good friend. God Bless you both.

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 7/10/2010 9:53AM

    Sadly, it seems like it's the tragedies in life that bring us together/closer. Definitley try to spend more time with her. You don't want to have any regrets later on. Have a great weekend!

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PEGGYJEAN13 7/10/2010 8:55AM

    Sometimes things like this remind us that we shouldn't put things off. It's easy to let "life" get in the way of things we need to make time for.

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MSLZZY 7/10/2010 8:38AM

    That's a wake up call! Checking in with her is a very good idea! Take care. emoticon

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CONCHA77 7/10/2010 8:37AM

    Sorry to hear about your sister in law. Hope that she recovers soon. Makes me think I should go and visit some family and friends that I haven't seen in a while. Sometimes we get caught up in our own lives --we really need to take some time and just do it.
Have a great weekend.
Hugs, Connie

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SUNNY332 7/10/2010 8:02AM

    It certainly does make a good case/cause for exercise and good nutrition.

Hope you do go soon to see her. Hugs, Sunny

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WALKINGANNIE 7/10/2010 4:41AM

    Sorry to hear about your sister in law. Hope that she recovers well.

Sometimes we all get reminders about what is valuable in our lives and about our priorities.

You're doing all that you can to protect your health. Keeping up with important relationships is part of our wellbeing too.

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KASEYCOFF 7/10/2010 4:25AM

    Yes, I can understand that - especially as I ended up after the divorce more fond of my (ex) in-laws than I am of my ex-husband. Funny thing about mowing the lawn. We had a neighbor who had a heart attack while mowing. Maybe it is a really common thing, like shoveling snow? p.s. Love the picture of the ginger cat in your background!

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REJ7777 7/9/2010 11:27PM

    Serious health problems (our own or those of someone we love) tend to make us think about what really matters. And, it's usually relationships. As I read somewhere, "No one ever says on his deathbed, 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'" I hope your sister-in-law gets better very quickly.

I've lost over 30 lbs. since my heart attack on January 30th, and my meds have been reduced even lower than before the attack. Sometimes a heart attack is a wake-up call that leads to even better health than before... IF you implement a healthy lifestyle. There's no doubt that the weight you've lost significantly impacts your health for the better! emoticon

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 7/9/2010 11:14PM

    Time goes by and we so often think, "Well, I can do that tomorrow." But far too often; tomorrow doesn't come. I have seen it with the two men I loved most in my life. I planned to call them both over the weekend but neither of them saw the weekend. They were both very young. Tell those you love how much they mean to you. Even if they are embarrassed, it will reach their hearts.
Erin

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PATSYJO46 7/9/2010 11:00PM

    All work and no play makes for a boring day! You can never visit with those you love too often...Life is too short...so enjoy each day to the fullest.

Have a wonderful weekend! emoticon

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NELLIEC 7/9/2010 10:40PM

    Sounds like a good idea to visit more often. And I have had workaholism and have had to slow down!

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I'm not a serial failure... I'm a serial success!

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Calling all folks who think of themselves as "yo-yo" dieters...

This thought occurred to me as I was doing my Spark strength workout to Big Brother this evening: I've been working out off and on for a couple of decades now! Seriously. I started the jogging thing in 1990, didn't I? OK, so I gave it up for a while, but I started again, didn't I?

And I started yoga classes in 2003, didn't I? OK, so I stopped going to classes, but I still do some of the stretches, don't I?

And strength training? I started that seriously in 2006, right? OK, so I dropped it when life got crazy and had to start over again last year... BUT... see where I'm going with this?

Each time I have come back to exercising! That makes me a serial success, not a serial failure!

Think about it, fellow Sparkers... you aren't failing over and over, you're succeeding over and over... and learning something more each time. In the end, it's all about persistence and "coming home" to our best self-nurturing natures.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAPNUP 7/15/2010 7:53AM

    We're all a work in progress!

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PEGGYJEAN13 7/10/2010 8:59AM

    I do the same thing! I push aside the thinigs that are good for me like nutrition and exercise and then realize that was what was working so I go back to it. It's too bad our bad habits aren't as easy to give up as our good ones!

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 7/9/2010 8:24PM

    Great insight! Thanks for sharing!!

I voted for your blog!

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MSLZZY 7/9/2010 4:37PM

    A very postive way to look at your life. You are a constant success! Have a great weekend! emoticon

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WALKINGANNIE 7/9/2010 3:36PM

    Yes! Yes! Yes!

Me too!

Love it.

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JUDITHANNIE 7/9/2010 8:26AM

    emoticon

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PATRISNA 7/9/2010 8:14AM

    emoticon I love your blogs!

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KASEYCOFF 7/9/2010 3:43AM

    Oh, really good, Barb - I like that perspective! Great attitude!!!

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MEDDYPEDDY 7/9/2010 12:58AM

    Smart thinking - thanks!

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APRILLSCOTT 7/8/2010 11:42PM

    I love the way you put this Barb! This is so true! You summed it up for us! emoticon emoticon

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 7/8/2010 11:21PM

    I guess that makes me a serial loser. Every single time I take a few steps forward, this stupid disease I have knocks me back off my feet and I end up taking yet more steroids and I end up gaining more than I lost.
Erin

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REJ7777 7/8/2010 10:58PM

    Like we read so often on SP - it's all about attitude and never giving up! emoticon And all of those successes led to your reaching goal weight. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/8/2010 11:04:32 PM

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ANDI571 7/8/2010 10:33PM

    You are so right. The glass isn't half empty, it's half full. I never thought it as a success everytime I get back on track, but it's so true.

I really liked that thought. emoticon

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SUNNY332 7/8/2010 10:19PM

    I too like the way you think. We are all Serial Successes....

Thanks for a great post.

Sunny

I reached my personal best yesterday - rode 10 miles on the bike then felt so good, I rode 10 miles again today. Woohoo.



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LOVE_2_LAUGH 7/8/2010 10:03PM

    I like the way you think!

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MT-MOONCHASER 7/8/2010 9:16PM

    Love that attitude/1
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Dates that live in memory

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Fourteen years ago today, my mother died. She had been suffering for quite some time, but in her chosen way of life, she did not disclose this. Some people were very shocked when she passed. She was only 66, pretty young these days.

I had about three weeks notice. Dad had been dropping hints about Mom "slowing down", of course. But I lived half a continent away. I planned a trip to visit them, had the tickets booked, and then a week before that scheduled trip, we had a death on my husband's side of the family. My brother in law, only 54, had a heart attack, mowing the lawn. That's a cliche, but cliches are such for a reason.

When I called my dad from my mother in law's home, I told him I didn't know what would happen with the trip. My dad, the most positive person in the world, said to me, "Well, I wouldn't put it off too long." Then I knew. She was dying. And she knew it and he knew it, but their faith would not allow them to say it.

So, I buried my brother in law on Thursday, and got on a plane on Friday to spend the last weekend I would with my mother. It was a good weekend. Her mind was sharp to the end. We played brain teasers, we read the Bible, we talked philosophy. I had finally reached the point in my own maturity where I could accept my mother as human and that it was OK for her to be so. And she was not afraid of dying.

Two weeks after that, she was gone, and I was on a plane again, this time for her funeral. She would have loved her memorial service! It truly was a celebration of who she was and what she believed. Even more than that, Mom would have loved what happened a year and a day later: my youngest niece was born. The final sibling, the last holdout in the bunch of five children produced a grandchild mom would never meet! But a year and a day? What great timing!

Here's to mom... I'm remembering your enthusiasm for life... and your courage when you had to leave us behind. Love you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DETERMINEDJANET 7/8/2010 3:23PM

    I miss my mom too. My "day" is in January. She died from a brain tumor at the age of 67.

I'm glad you were able to enjoy those precious last moments with your mom!

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SHAWWB 7/8/2010 3:10PM

    What a great blog. My father passed away when I was 3 and my mother when I was 17. I'm so glad you got that last weekend together and had a chance to say goodbye. Their memories live in us forever, it's been 43 years since my father and 29 year since my mother passed and I still think of them almost daily. Be sure to tell your niece all about the grandmother she never met. We do that with my nephews all the time.

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THIAGRAM 7/8/2010 10:16AM

  What a wonderful thing to remember your mom! Bless you!

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BUGGYS 7/8/2010 9:48AM

    Thank you for a touching tribute to your mom! Both of my parents dies within months of eachother about 10 years ago and I think of them everyday and am grateful that I was able to spend quality time with them. Their passing was very difficult for me but the memories live on and make me feel whole. emoticon

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KALIGIRL 7/8/2010 8:47AM

    What great memories.
So glad you could have her for a weekend. I spent a week with my mom before she died. Some sad memories (she wasn't in pain, but didn't want to be alive, so was angry when I talked her out of taking the meds) and some happy memories (she beat me 148 to 10 rounds of cards). I was also able to take her to the Med Center where the nurses convinced my dad it was time for Hospice. Mom left the Catholic church after my oldest brother died, but my sis arranged last rites and I had the honor of giving her eulogy.
emoticon to you and your memories.

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SUNNY332 7/8/2010 7:14AM

    What a beautiful tribute to your Mom. Sounds like she was a wonderful mother. I miss my Mom too.

Hugs, Sunny

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KASEYCOFF 7/8/2010 2:57AM

    Thanx for posting this, Barb.

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WALKINGANNIE 7/8/2010 2:33AM

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, memories and feelings in today's blog.

I guess that this is another connection between us. Today would have been my mother's birthday. She died, after a long battle with cancer, when I was still in my teens. And yes, after almost 40 years the gap in my life is still there.

With loving memories of our mothers on these special dates.

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DEBRITA01 7/7/2010 11:18PM

    emoticonIt was a blessing you could spend some precious time with your mom before she passed. We never really know how much time we have with our loved ones.

I'm sure you miss her terribly but, she is smiling down on you from heaven and I'm sure she's so proud...

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ANDI571 7/7/2010 11:00PM

    What a touching story. It's so good, that even though they are gone, we can still have those memories for them to live on. emoticon

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CONCHA77 7/7/2010 10:28PM

    Great Blog, Barb-Sounds like you had a wonderful upbringing. I miss my mom too.

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 7/7/2010 10:20PM

    What a beautiful blog. You are a lovely person. Helping my mom with her recent mishap and rehab has allowed me to get a teeny bit closer to her. She still has walls and so do I. But I hope we can "get there" before it's too late. I'm going to bed now with a smile in my heart because of your awesome blog. Take care and God bless!

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PEGGYJEAN13 7/7/2010 9:35PM

    You brought back fond memories of my own mother. It is wonderful to remember Mom and wonder what she would think if she was still here today. Thank you for the rememberance.

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NELLIEC 7/7/2010 9:07PM

    It is good to remember your mom! And it is wonderful that she was full of faith!

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Things I don't get...

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

One thing I don't seem to get is all the people who say "I have so much more energy" when they have lost weight. This does not appear to be true for me. Yesterday I was completely wiped out. I did next to nothing: my laundry. Oh, yeah, and messed around on the computer. I didn't even get my 10,000 steps in, topping out under 8,000.

I spent a few brain cells pondering why this was so. Was it just because I messed with my sleep cycle? Was it "over-peopling" as I had social things on both Saturday and Sunday? Was it the family walk/jog Sunday evening that was a little more intense for having tried to match strides with my nephew for a while?

So, I made it a rest day, went to bed promptly last night, and this morning... probably OK. But I'm still pondering: is fatigue becoming a problem? I will monitor for a while, and I'm going to have to make that appointment for my annual physical... if the monitoring shows fatigue to be more than just a "this weekend wiped me out" kind of thing, it's worth mentioning. After all, with weight loss, regular medications might need adjusting.

I'm still figuring out "what's normal?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAPNUP 7/15/2010 7:52AM

    Normal is definitely relative. I find I do have more energy, but I think for me it's because I've let go of a lot of sugar and am trying to eat more protein. That, along with exercising, a regular sleep pattern, and STAYING OFF THE SODA seems to work for me. Not only that, I can maintain my energy up until by body starts shutting down for sleep, about 45 minutes before bedtime. I'm not physically active, but I'm awake and alert. I like that. No sugar coma!

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PATRISNA 7/8/2010 10:51AM

    Barb,

I think you are right to get a check up and see about having your meds adjusted. My husband's doctors all agreed that his weight loss of 50 pounds contributed to him being over medicated. After they ran tests they dopped some, lowered doses of some and added a couple of others.

It really amazed both of us what a difference it made in how he much better feels.

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RORYLYONS 7/6/2010 9:58PM

    There are those days when we have more on our plate than we can handle. With the holiday over.. I bet you get right back in the groove of things & feel peppier than ever.... emoticon

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THIAGRAM 7/6/2010 9:40PM

  I would love to be able to top out at 8000 steps a day! So I think you are doing great! Everybody has those times when we feel a bit tired especially after a big weekend! Good stress is still stress and stress makes a body tired! Tomorrow is a new day!

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WALKINGANNIE 7/6/2010 3:15PM

    You're right to check your meds Barb. I went through a phase of being exhasuted that I thought was linked with my illness and pace of recovery. In fact, I was overmedicated since I'd lost weight. The doc cut various meds and I felt much better.

Hope you find an answer.


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KASEYCOFF 7/6/2010 2:53PM

    Good point, Barb: we were having a discussion in one of the threads the other day about how weightloss can 'sneak up' on you in terms of the medications you take. Without being aware of it, you can cross a line where your bodyweight is now too low for the amount of medicine you've been prescribed. It does bear watching. Sometimes I wonder if age is catching up with me - at what point do we cross a line where we just naturally want to slow down? Tho I guess if genes are any indication, I've got another forty years to go. My grandmother was nearly 100 before SHE slowed down, lol...

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KALIGIRL 7/6/2010 1:51PM

    When you figure out what's 'normal', let me know. I think we just have ebb and flow days and open ourselves to disappointment when we try to control what we accomplish and when. (I know - easier said than done, but all in all, each day is part of the bigger journey.)

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BUGGYS 7/6/2010 11:59AM

    I have always been a high energy person so after being on SP fro a while, I didn't experience more energy but I did feel a whole lot better...healthier...if you continue to have low energy, there may be some underlying cause and you may mention it to your doc at your annual exam!

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ANDI571 7/6/2010 10:11AM

    I am the same way. When we were walking the other day, I told my husband I don't get how people say they get all of this energy. When I lost my 60 pounds years ago, I never did get the energy surge.

I am still trying to get rested up from our quick weekend away. It is 10:00 and I just got up if that tells you anything. I noticed last night how sunk in my eyes were.

Last week I hit over 10,000 steps all but 2 days. Sunday I had 3816, had yesterday 6902.

If there is a secret to getting energy, I wish I knew it.

I also told DH, that people with energy, doesn't understand us who doesn't have it. My daughter is only 28, and she is the same way. Growing up she could never keep up with late nights and things like other kids her age.

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PEGGYJEAN13 7/6/2010 9:09AM

    Stress, change of routine, and missed sleep could all be problems. Combine the 3 and you have a triple whammy! I bet a few normal days and nights will straighten you out but a checkup is never a bad idea.

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CREATINGAMANDA 7/6/2010 9:07AM

    There's no such thing as normal! You just have to find what works for you. I'm with you though - I don't have more energy. I have excess energy some days and other days I severely lack it - but that's no different from what it's been all along. I think people mistake "energy" with "endurance" -- I may not have anymore energy, but if I really want to I can go for longer.

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SUNNY332 7/6/2010 8:48AM

    Some days, I can say this but most days, I can't. I was wiped out yesterday too after having 30+ people here on Sunday for a reunion. Today, it is back to business.

Take care and have a GREAT day.

Sunny

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CONCHA77 7/6/2010 8:34AM

    I think your busy holiday weekend might have affected your energy. I know after my grandkids are here for more than a day or 2 I am wiped out! It kicks my butt! Hey, were getting older and we do need to "slow down" once in a while. I just wish I could keep up with you and your running, You're doing great. I do think that having a yearly physical is a great idea, in fact I am heading out this morning for a Dr appt.

Have a great day, Connie


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Holidays can be healthy!

Monday, July 05, 2010

I could blog for a week about all the layers of actions and reactions and emotions that show up at family gatherings. Because when you only get together for holidays, it all gets compressed: relationships, identity, re-discovering who each other are, and determining whether you're all OK with how each of you has changed in the interim. I suppose July 4th (US Independence Day) is one of the gentler holidays in this regard: it's so close to Memorial Day (where you already did this assessment, so there won't be dramatic changes), and it usually has an outdoors element which gives you a chance to have some physical space if you need it!

As I prepared for the family gather yesterday, I pondered over how these gatherings have changed since our childhood. I'm number two of a sibling group of five. Both of our parents have passed away. Our lone brother is halfway across the continent, but the four sisters all live in the same town. We each have independent lives, for the most part, but the family gathers at holidays are tradition, as they are for so many.

Now, in our fifties (and forties for the younger two of the group)... we are the top layer. We are the example that the kids see. And some things have definitely changed: we talk openly about health issues and behavior that supports health! As kids this would NEVER have been so! We talked about motivation for healthy habits, as well as our individual mechanics... we were spreading the spark to one another, even though I'm the only one who hangs out at this site.

Even what we serve at dinner... here's what I brought:
A "Greek" salad, a recipe I got from a fellow traveler in weight loss circles about a decade ago. The family always wants me to bring it! What a difference from high-fat, high-salt things that could be the basis of so many holidays.

The protein was less than the healthiest choice (KFC), but several of us removed the skin and breading before eating it. Nobody is critical of anyone making a choice, healthy or otherwise. The really amusing piece to me was that at the close of the meal, when only the glasses remained as we were talking... were we chowing down on cakes, cookies, brownies, ice cream? No... look at this "treat":
Red-skinned carrots purchased at a local farmer's market that morning!

After the meal, as we were gathering in the driveway to watch the kids set off the daylight fireworks, I glanced at my pedometer and saw I needed another 3,000 steps to get in my 10,000 minimum for the day, so I examined everyone's shoes to see who was up for a walk... and no less than six of us (three sisters and the three adolescents) went off on a half-hour jaunt through the neighborhood.

One of the joys of that walk/jog (I did intervals, my nephew horsed around and smoked us all)... was getting to know these almost-adults a little bit better. As my nephew kept pace with me, we talked about sprinting versus distance training and what some of HIS goals for fitness might be. Granted he's an adolescent male, naturally thin by virtue of biology and lifestyle... he walks home from summer school these days, a five mile hike five days a week. But he's thinking about it... and that makes me happy and hopeful for his future!

What do you want for the young people in your life? An active, able life, right? So, what are we, as the "top" generation doing about it? Modeling healthy behavior on holidays is a great start!

The photo now on my main page are the gathered adults (including my niece, who's on her first "real job" in her chosen field)... the nephew in question is behind the camera.

Hope your holiday was a good one, and if you're not a US denizen that you had a great weekend. Onward to a new week... being our sparked selves!

Edited to add link to Greek Salad recipe: recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detai
l.asp?recipe=1144999&ff=1

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DETERMINEDLOSER 7/5/2010 11:07PM

    Congratulations! What a way to take care of yourself. I enjoyed reading your blog and look forward to reading more of them.

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REJ7777 7/5/2010 6:55PM

    Thank you so much for posting the recipe! I will be making it with delicious fresh summer cucumbers. Do you put any dressing on it at all? emoticon

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WALKINGANNIE 7/5/2010 2:55PM

    Congratulations on a healthy 4th July and for making it a positive experience for yourself and others, including the younger generation.

I love the photos - and you look like a happy, healthy, slim sister!

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CONCHA77 7/5/2010 2:33PM

    Sounds like a wonderful day! Family really can be fun to be around. LOL. Thanks for sharing your salad recipe. Sounds delicious!

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PEGGYJEAN13 7/5/2010 1:54PM

    You are so right about everyone evaluating each other when you get together. I had one neice ask about my weight loss while everyone else ignored the subject. We always have so much food that there is never a problem choosing healthy and ignoring the calorie laden. I'm glad you enjoyed your day. Good idea about the walk.

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REJ7777 7/5/2010 1:16PM

    Congratulations on modeling healthy choices for your extended family, both with eating AND physical activity. emoticon

Would you mind posting the recipe for that Cucumber salad?

You look absolutely awesome in that new photo! emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/5/2010 1:22:29 PM

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PATRISNA 7/5/2010 11:12AM

    Your salad looks wonderful. I am glad you had a good day with the family. We also had a family gathering. Our food wasn't as low cal as your salad or your desert.
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I love the photos. I looked at the main page. Everyone looks great.

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THIAGRAM 7/5/2010 11:00AM

  Wow! You are right Holidays can be healthy! Your salad looks very yummy! What are the white things? My guess is apples? or maybe chicken? or maybe Tofu? You are a great example! Thanks for sharing!

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KASEYCOFF 7/5/2010 10:57AM

    Good one, Barb, really good - it's as if we got to spend a little time with you and yours. :-)

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ANDI571 7/5/2010 10:36AM

    What a great visit with your family. Healthy choices and exercise. But especially getting to know each other again. That's what it is all about.

Since our parents have passed away, my husbands, or my family just doesn't get together like we used to and I miss that. The sad thing is, we all live fairly close.

Your salad looked wonderful.

Comment edited on: 7/5/2010 10:36:32 AM

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