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Daydreams and real life challenges

Sunday, August 15, 2010

First off, thanks to all the Spark friends who dropped by and had comments / suggestions about going "car-free" yesterday.

I enjoyed reading the suggestions and I'm adding them to my ponderings. I already do several of them (like walking to the pharmacy, or the bank, or the doctor's office). The big ones that scotch the plan: work related. So, I probably will replace this vehicle. I hope that it's the last time before I retire!

On to today's topics - real life challenges:

My daughter in law had a recent birthday... and yesterday we went to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate. Sounds decadent, no? IS decadent, yes!

It was not planned ahead, so there I was looking at a menu the size of a small town telephone directory. My choices: I had a BLT salad skipping the bleu cheese crumbles and the dressing. I haven't had bacon in several months, and this was a great flavor treat. I left about a quarter of it behind (I swear there was a half a head of lettuce on the plate, at least two hard-boiled eggs crumbled, two slices of bacon and a medium sized tomato diced)... this was an "appetizer" salad. Then we split a slice of Kalua Cocoa Coffee Cheesecake with whipped cream.

Sounds horrible by old good/bad food diet thinking, but here's the part I'm proud of: I savored each bite, the sight, the smell, the texture, the taste, and got to a point of satisfied, not stuffed. There was an inch of cheesecake left on the plate. I emoticon'ed! Yes, stopped... put down the fork and let the server clear those last three bites away.

I didn't feel I had to chase after it, or eat the whole thing. I didn't feel I had to clean my plate. That's the personal triumph here. I adjusted my eating the rest of the day, and I'm moving on to my regular nutritious plan today. I blew my fat and cholesterol counts for the day, but balanced over the week, I'm still OK. I don't feel like a failure.

Intellectually I know it's OK to splurge and treat yourself with special foods ONCE IN A WHILE. If I know I can do this again sometime, and I don't tell myself "I'll never have cheesecake again"... I am free to stop with a satisfying portion.

Yesterday, the intellectual knowledge turned into emotional fact. I found a way to feel good about my choices while still feeling treated. I wish I could bottle the emotions surrounding this celebration meal. I'm putting it on paper to remind myself for the future times when this may once again seem hard.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALIGIRL 8/15/2010 5:16PM

    emoticon emoticon
Intellectual to emotional and maybe back to intellectual - feeling good and knowing you did good.
You did great!

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WALKINGANNIE 8/15/2010 1:26PM

    Well done Barb! Turning 'the intellectual knowledge turned into emotional fact' is probably my biggest remaining challenge. You did realy well in expressing this so well and acting on it so very effectively.

It is OK to have treats. We will not get fat from occasional splurges and eating like the slim people that we have become. I know this intellectually but I need to truly feel it as you have.


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LOVE_2_LAUGH 8/15/2010 12:17PM

    How great is that?! You mindfully enjoyed a treat you'd been planning for and looking forward to. And you know? I think the secret is simply that you allowed it, you enjoyed it, and you didn't feel like, as you said, you had to chase after those last few bites. You were satisfied and able to leave some on the plate. GREAT adventure, Barb!

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JUST_TRI_IT 8/15/2010 10:48AM

    That is awesome!! I think it is important to enjoy those splurges and times out with family without the guilt-- make it work into the plan overall. Glad you relished and adjusted!


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GOHUSKERS2 8/15/2010 8:59AM

    You did fantastic! I L-O-V-E cheesecake, any flavor, any ingredients....just love it. I probably would have declined the invitation to go so I wouldn't embarrass the family by licking the plate! LOL

I really do think you are doing great!

Have a happy Sunday!

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SUNRISE14 8/15/2010 7:39AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon You are getting it and so am i! DH and i go to the flea market every saturday and we go to this ice cream store every time. All summer i have only had i think 3 kid cones in a waffle cone so yesterday i wanted one i got the waffle cone and a kids dip ate half of it and was satisfied DH finished it cause i said i was gonna throw the rest away! Sometimes i will just take a bite of his ! But i was soooooooo in control! It feels sooooo gooooood ! I am 59 years old and have been fighting weight since i was 22 years old when they put me on heart meds. I went from 132 lbs to 215 lbs and quit looking in just about 2 years ! But thanks to sparkpeople and sparkfriends i have the tools and support and i am down to 159.8 and get monthly weigh in Aug 31st. I am so in control it's scary! emoticon I am happy for you if i can help in anyway i am here daily!!!Just drop past my page!!! emoticon emoticon

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Day-dreaming of living like grandma

Saturday, August 14, 2010

It's the budget crunch that's got me thinking about this, but what if you could combine fitness with regular life activity? You know, like grandma used to live.

I blogged last month about taking the bus while my son's car was in the shop. It was truly an expedient thing at the time; I can, after all, only drive one vehicle at a time! BUT, yesterday when I took my car in for an oil change and they identified an additional $$$$ amount of maintenance work that it needs... I got to day-dreaming.

What if I gave up my car? Seriously, if it costs me $$$$ in maintenance every time I bring it in to change the oil (I opted out this time, I already spent more than that fixing up son's car)... I should be either replacing it (it's 12 years old) or looking at giving it up completely.

So here's the daydream: give up the car! Walk where I can walk: the doctor's office, the dentist, the grocery store. OK, there are some transporting "stuff" issues with the grocery store, but I used to have a little pull-cart to handle that... I could do it again. The haircut place is within walking distance. And there is my bicycle that's been gathering cobwebs for a while in the garage... it could be pressed into service for "medium" length trips.

Work is a stretch, but there are buses. It would take a little more time. I could combine a morning walk to the farther bus stop to get some exercise in. The buses don't run on weekends, and I would not be able to drive to work in the middle of the night to support stuff if the remote connection went down. OK, that's a bit of a problem.

I would look a little weird to my neighbors... oh, wait... I already do!

What would I NOT be able to do? I wouldn't be able to drop in on the kids unannounced (not that I would, or do - so no loss). I wouldn't be able to provide airport taxi service to them (unless they lent me their vehicle to do so). I wouldn't be able to do those "pick up and go" kinds of errands... kind of a pain where the kids are concerned.

I wouldn't be able to just pick up and run to Wal-Mart or the mall... so, I wouldn't be spending money! If I really need something, I can order it online and have it delivered to my door! Speaking of money, just think what I'll save on gas and parking! Probably replace that with the occasional cab fare and of course my bus pass (which is about the same as my monthly parking).

Anyway, if I DO replace this car, it will probably be my last pre-retirement vehicle. And in the meantime, I can dream of a car-free life!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUST_TRI_IT 8/15/2010 10:44AM

    Whenever I am in Portland, I think of this as well. It is an adventure to not have the car... a different kind of adventure.

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KALIGIRL 8/14/2010 10:09PM

    Love it.
I've been riding my bike to work 3 days a week (golf the other 2), but we're lucky enough to have a shower @ the office. I've ridden it to get my hair cut (much to the dismay of my stylist) and to the grocery on the way home.
It's empowering to be car free and maybe a little healthy too?

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PENNYAN45 8/14/2010 8:49PM

    I lived without a car for a year when my husband and I lived in London. In a large city like that, there was lots of public transportation available all the time - so we could go wherever we needed to go.... UNLESS we wanted to go into the countryside. That was when we rented a car.

One of the things I noticed was that I carried a larger handbag - because I wanted to have things on me that I otherwise could have left in the car.

Also, I carried shopping bags with me to fill with any purchases I made.
Making a purchase required me to decide if it was going to willing to carry the item around with me for the rest of my outing that day.
It was a real problem when I bought large items (like mirrors) for my flat. I had to lug them on the bus - and walking from the bus to home. That was a struggle.

Weather was more of an issue for me when I was walking and taking public transportation. I found that I would take a jacket or an umbrella - just in case I needed it later in the day.

We didn't have a hardware store on our High Street - and so I had to take a bus or the tube to another section of town whenever I needed anything from a hardware store. That was a real nuisance at times.

Here in the States I live in the suburbs - so there is never any thought of living without a car. I did enjoy having the car back again when I returned home.

Just one other thought - my husband bought a new car for his parents after his dad retired. They used the car only once in a while when they really needed it. Otherwise, they let it sit in their garage.

You could just decide to have a car for emergencies - and for some conveniences. The rest of the time you could use public transportation and walk.

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WALKINGANNIE 8/14/2010 4:20PM

    Another thought-provoking blog. Going car-free also has environmental benefits. I'm conscioulsy walking more for local errands. In fact, my definitition on 'local' shops has expanded because more are in my new walking range.

I'm not ready to give up my car yet but I use it less than I did.


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MT-MOONCHASER 8/14/2010 2:09PM

    Parking your car for a while would certainly make for some good exercise. It would be hard to give up the convenience of a car for getting to those places where there are time or distance constraints and where public transport is very inconvenient or non-existent. If some of your usual cardio is walking either outside or on a treadmill you could substitute walking to a destination. It's a very good idea.

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LJCANNON 8/14/2010 10:54AM

    I have had the same idea occasionally, but cannot really Get rid of the car because of Mom's Dr and hospital appointments. But I can commit to leaving the car Parked when my destination is within a mile, and the weather is under 100 degrees..

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REJ7777 8/14/2010 10:50AM

    It's a great idea to live without a car if you can manage it. I would, however, recommend that you try to live without using the car for two or three months before really giving it up. You could even keep your car for emergencies. After I had my heart attack, I was not allowed to drive for three months. I found it harder than I thought I would. But you're right, keeping a car on the road sure gets expensive! If you change cars, you might want to get a small one that doesn't take as much gas. I'm finding that the little 2003 Echo that I bought about 2 years ago is almost paying for itself by what I'm saving in gas. Good luck! emoticon

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KASEYCOFF 8/14/2010 10:47AM

    There is a certain amount of independence attached to a car, isn't there? When I first moved here I learned to drive (on the wrong side of the road, lol) but I never enjoyed it and never really felt comfortable driving here, so when I left my part-time job (which was only five miles away) and took a full-time job in the middle of Manchester (a good half-hour or more away) I stopped driving altogether. And I don't miss it, as I never really relaxed about it here and never really liked it - always a very tension-fraught thing. But I definitely miss the pick-up-'n'-go independence of it all. I don't know if they have anything like this in NE, but here, there are 'car coops' that people join. Depending on the subscription (or membership, if you will) fee that you pay, you get X uses of a car per month. It's kind of like a rental plan, except you don't own the car, aren't responsible for maintenance, don't have to worry about housing it, etc. We have friends who sold their car and went into this coop plan, and they love it. It's not quite as spur of the moment as having your own car, because they have to schedule their use of it, but when they want to visit the kids and might not be able to get the last bus home and things like that, it fills the bill nicely. We have stuck with our Smart car. So many miles to the gallon I sometimes think we're down to pennies per fill-up. Okay, not quite, but it certainly is a money-saver. It's a little two-seater (so short you can park it endways in a parallel-parking space and not be sticking out into the street) but it's got a bit of hatchback space behind the seats so it holds groceries, or a picnic basket and cooler, or two overnight bags, etc. And while I don't like to be selfish (!) it also means we don't make any runs to the airport... if we go someplace, no one is riding with us, so we can arrive when we want and leave when we want. It's proven to be a good compromise between the larger four-person minivan we had and not owning a car at all.

Just a couple of thoughts. :-) p.s. I think Mary might be onto something about a trial - park it and leave it for a month and see how often you want to use it, how often you need to use it, and what kind of expenses you actually incur when you aren't driving.

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ANDI571 8/14/2010 10:43AM

    My cousin calls that the "Good Ole Days". I don't think I could ever give up my car, but I could get out of it to head into the bank instead of the ATM. Or get out of it to head into the restaurant to order instead of the drive thru. I am sure all those little things would add up.

I think you are on to something though since you are so close to things. Even if you did 1/2 of those things I bet you would be so much healthier.

You are working it.... emoticon

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 8/14/2010 9:44AM

    I think that is a great idea. Maybe not get rid of the car yet -- just commit to leaving it in the garage for a month to see how it goes. You know, people of yesteryear weren't nearly as heavy that today's people are. They used to walk everywhere and they worked hard. That's what it comes down to, plain and simple.

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EFELL123 8/14/2010 9:07AM

    We just got my husband's truck out of the shop -- $1700 (ouch). Unfortunaely we live away from the city and are car is a necessity. I think I would enjoy living in a small town where I could walk everywhere.

Growing up my mom stayed in shape through gardening,raking, housework, etc. So did my dad for that matter.

I love your idea!

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How young is YOUR doctor?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Mine showed up to my annual physical this morning wearing BRACES! Yes!

Other than that side note, the news from the office was good. Blood pressure, pulse, the usual female parts exams, the EKG (follow up to the tingles episode last month - sigh)... zapped three more of those little spots of actinic keratosis. I think now we've got them all.

The tingles? Yeah, I've still got 'em, but at this point, since the big scaries have been eliminated and there is no other pain (like back) and they aren't consistent with location... we're in monitor changes mode!

Essentially, he grinned and said very nice things about my healthy habits work. He's ecstatic with the weight loss, even though he NEVER gave me a hard time about it when I was heavy, he's clearly pleased.

I admitted to him and to myself that in some ways taking care of my own health is an unspoken bargain with God... I'm taking care of me and trusting Him to keep my son safe. We all know that's not a wise position, because you still need to take care of yourself, even if tragic things happen! But it's a stray thought that I know hides out in the deep recesses of my mind, and I admit it.

Speaking of which... so far, so good. I hope to see him soon!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUST_TRI_IT 8/14/2010 6:26AM

    I was a tad irritated with my young doctor when she said that getting heavier was just part of aging. REALLY? Thanks!

I am gathering from the comments that your son in is in the service overseas? I shall keep him in my thoughts... May he be home very soon.

CONGRATS on all the good news at the doctor's office.. QUITE AWESOME :)


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WALKINGANNIE 8/13/2010 3:20PM

    My doctor and I have got older together. He took over my care when I was expecting our 24-year old daughter.

I can understand your pact with God - and it keeps you in good shape for your son's return. Here's a toast to health and safety for you and your loved ones.


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SLENDERELLA61 8/13/2010 2:56PM

    My doctor is a couple years older than I am. I do like her common sense approach most of the time. I saw both my parents have to change doctors late in life due to retirements. 'Fraid I'll be in the same boat. So the doctor in braces may be there for you and that could be good. But I wore braces in my early 40's, so that may not tell the story.

Glad the doctor is recognizing your accomplishments. He should!

Hope your tingles stay gone and that all your spots have been zapped, never to return.

The bargain with God is understandable, Barb. I'm very grateful that I had a girl. Wishing you peace. Thank you and your son for his service. Wishing you continued good health and good check ups. -Marsha

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PEGGYJEAN13 8/13/2010 1:16PM

    Sometimes my young doctor does not understand why I worry about my varicose veins and age spots since they don't affect my health, but I still want to look nice even if i'm old! I often think a woman about my age would be more sensitive!

Having kids is always a worry and we try to do anything we can think of to try to protect them even if it makes no sense we still have to do something or we feel helpless. Prayer is the only thing that truly helps.

Comment edited on: 8/13/2010 1:19:56 PM

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KALIGIRL 8/13/2010 1:11PM

    Glad to hear he's coming home soon and you are healthy.
I understand those 'bargains. I give blood in the hopes my family will never need it.

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ANASONIC 8/13/2010 12:59PM

    Good for you on that great check-up... and I know all about fully relying on God when we feel we have no control over situations. I pray your son returns soon safely.

P.S. I used to babysit my dentist...

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DEBRITA01 8/13/2010 12:49PM

    My GP is about my age but my dentist and eye doctor are around my kids' ages. I guess that reminds me I'm not as young as I'd like to think that I am. Braces huh? That would make me smile...Glad you got a good report and are in monitor mode.

Keep working on taking care of your health so you can enjoy your time with your son once he returns. May God keep him safe and in His tender-loving care...

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KASEYCOFF 8/13/2010 12:38PM

    Re your unspoken bargain: I can understand that. All you can do is the best you can do, ain't? And as for your young GP with braces - you already know my doctor is Doogie. He's younger than my son, lol...

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 8/13/2010 12:25PM

    Are the doctors getting younger and younger? Seems like it, doesn't it? But, I'm afraid it's more a case of us getting older. But at least we're getting older . . .

I pray your son is kept safe and that you and he are reunited VERY soon.

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MSLZZY 8/13/2010 12:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

My doctor is almost retirement age but I do like him immensely. He was
a Highway Patrolman before he became a PA.

Comment edited on: 8/13/2010 12:21:28 PM

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A to Z - because several friends have done one...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

and besides... it helps my goal of a blog a day when I'm not feeling particularly inspired by other topics! emoticon So Kasey, Nursie8 and others... here's my scoop!

A - Age: 57. So far.

B - Bed size: Queen

C - Chore you hate: yard care.

D - Dog's name: Diamond. OK, a 10 year old named her.

E - Essential start-your-day item: coffee & quiet time.

F - Favorite color: green makes me smile.

G - Gold or silver: Gold - shiny.

H - Height: five foot three - used to claim five four (stretching by a quarter inch), but the Dr's office called me on it last year. I'm shrinking.

I - Instruments you play: recorder, violin (if you count being a rusty person who learned in youth)

J - Job title: Application Developer Lead

K - Kid(s): OneKid, son grown and married

L - Living arrangements: me and my shadow (the aforementioned canine)

M - Mom's name: Jo

N - Nickname(s): when I was back in grade school, I was called Shadow. Since then, none. Oh, except that very few people on the planet are allowed to call me Barbie. If you're one of them, consider yourself extremely privileged. I was named before the doll, and it was what my mom called me.

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Well, if you count sleeping in a chair while your kid is the patient, that would be it. Never as a patient, except when giving birth to said kid.

P - Pet peeve: intolerance. Chill out, already!

Q - Quote from a movie: "When will we be going back? And who will that be?" Apollo 13. Guess what... we're going now, and it's a whole herd of turtles. emoticon emoticon (Sorry, couldn't resist!)

R - Right or left handed: yes. Any question with an OR in it can be answered with a boolean value. If at least one of the responses is true, the answer is "Yes". Like most lefties, I do some things right-handed... so the answer is yes. I'm both.

S - Siblings: three sisters and a brother.

T - Time you wake up: 4:20 a.m.

U- First word that comes to your mind for "U": This one's not fair. One gets influenced by seeing the answers of others. Now if I can get that last thing I saw out of my mind, and blank it out... "unique"!

V - Vegetable you dislike: asparagus, and lima beans. There are very few veggies I dislike. These are two I will tolerate, but never crave.

W - Ways you run late: by thinking I have enough time to do this "one short thing" before the meeting. Sigh.

X - X-rays you've had: If you count the mammos that come with annuals, and bone density screens, that really is about it.

Y - Yummy food you make: I hate to mention this one, because it's totally decadent, but I do this baked cheese hors d'oerve with an olive inside. Or if you want to go Summer time and healthy--a simple Greek salad is a fave.

Z - Zoo favorite: giraffes.

OK, go for it gang! Your turn.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUST_TRI_IT 8/14/2010 6:21AM

    So much fun to read!

Ok..What is an Application Developer Lead? And so.. when you and your shadow go out for a walk, do you walk with you, your shadow and his shadow and your shadow too? emoticon

emoticon emoticon
.. emoticon .. emoticon

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KASEYCOFF 8/12/2010 3:12PM

    Somehow, 'W' sounds so you, lol...

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WALKINGANNIE 8/12/2010 2:55PM

    You wake up when? emoticon emoticon emoticon

Thanks for giving an insight into your life.


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PEGGYJEAN13 8/12/2010 2:43PM

    This is great for learning about people, but I'm still too lazy or don't want to think that hard. I am happy to learn more about you, "Barbie".

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KALIGIRL 8/12/2010 1:17PM

    emoticon for sharing (besides I'd say this contained some pretty inspiring stuff!)

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THIAGRAM 8/12/2010 11:43AM

  I really enjoyed reading your answers! The first one made me smile big time! You have a great way of looking forward! You have been very blessed with good health in that you have not had to be a patient in the hospital or had exrays! Thanks for sharing!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FIT-AT-50 8/12/2010 9:43AM

    Thanks for the insights into you! I think I'm going to use your idea for today!

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MSLZZY 8/12/2010 7:20AM

    I'm with PAT! Love to read but don't take time to do it myself. Very interesting! emoticon

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PATRISNA 8/12/2010 7:07AM

    As I told Kasey I love reading these and hate answering them. BTW for question R my answer would be yes. I loved the way you answered that one!


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Ups and downs

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Funny how many "passive" / "victim" metaphors we have about our lives. I'm going to pick two to pick on this morning.

1. "I've been on an emotional roller coaster". This implies the emotions are taking me for a ride. I have little say in the ups and downs and curves and twists. But you know something about roller coasters? They are limited by their rails!

2. "I'm a yo-yo dieter". Gain weight, lose weight. Like I'm being jerked around and someone or something outside of me is jerking the string?

So, am I a rider on the roller coaster... or do I design the rails?

And, am I the yo-yo being jerked around... or am I holding the string?

Here's to deciding who we are in our metaphors! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENNYAN45 8/13/2010 8:33PM

    You make a good point -- and are so right on about the victim status implied in those phrases. Thanks for showing them to us through this new lens.

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KASEYCOFF 8/11/2010 3:18PM

    Excellent analyses of a couple of standard phrases - and some very valid points, as well. I love your thought-provoking blogs, hon! :-D

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WALKINGANNIE 8/11/2010 1:28PM

    This is a brilliant blog Barb. Thank you for this wonderful analysis. You hit the nail right on the head.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KALIGIRL 8/11/2010 1:27PM

    Love it - taking command of the words helps us take command of our lives!

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 8/11/2010 12:10PM

    Wow, Barb -- that was PROFOUND!

I think you'e on to something. We are in control of our own lives/reactions. We may think we're not -- but at those moments, I believe we just choose to lose control.

Great blog. Have a great day!

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LUCICAMP 8/11/2010 11:33AM

    Hmmm...very profound! It's funny how we say things all the time without thinking about their deeper meanings.

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PATRISNA 8/11/2010 10:56AM

    Today is an example of why I love your blogs! Barb you always give me something to think about.

Here is one I see a lot. I fell off the wagon.


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SROUS1340 8/11/2010 10:30AM

    Great blog Barb, language has a lot of power over our thoughts!

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APRILLSCOTT 8/11/2010 10:16AM

It is something to think about! Good blog! emoticon

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MSLZZY 8/11/2010 7:45AM

    Funny how some phrases stick with you for no apparent reason. Great blog, very thoughtful! emoticon emoticon

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