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X: xenophobia

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Yes, gang, she's back on the topic of body image! And from the direction of xenophobia, an honest to gosh real word that starts with "x".

It means "fear or hatred of strangers or foreigners or of anything foreign or strange". Well, what better word to describe how we might feel when we find ourselves in a "strange" size or shape? I rejoice that I've reached a goal, but I may not feel quite at home at first. Perhaps I'll try to hang on to some old comforting habits (or clothes) that remind me of where I came from?

emoticon lies that way, for some of those comforting old habits were what kept me in the land of unfit and yes, fat.

Assimilating into the "melting pot" of healthy lifestyle takes longer than just the time to drop the pounds. It takes living here for a while and becoming comfortable with the newer habits, levels of activity, and even sizes of clothing.

Last weekend my younger sister and her daughter took me clothes shopping for our niece's wedding next weekend. The "petite" department still feels a little foreign to me. I kept being drawn to the "plus" side of the store, seeing things that were cut in styles that flattered my former shape!

Still, I tried things on that really do fit, and I brought home a lovely little frock for the wedding. I'm looking forward to wearing it: but I also detect a warning message in the back of my mind: "You're a fraud, you're not REALLY this small". So, a "don't get cocky" and a dose of humility are in order. I think of all the times I have worn "cute" smaller-sized clothing only to blimp right back out of it, not feeling quite at home. Like an immigrant assimilating into the culture, I must adopt my new "home's" customs! Eating well, and being satisfied with "enough"; and giving in to the craving to be active are all customs of my new home!

Here's to reinforcing that this body size IS "home", not "foreign"; here's to overcoming xenophobia!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENNYAN45 10/11/2010 9:46AM

    I'm not there yet at my goal weight, and I also feel as if I don't belong in the new lower weight that I'm at. It feels very temporary.... even though I'm determined that it is permanent.

I agree with everything you said in this blog. Thanks for putting your thoughts down and sharing them so we can benefit from them as well.

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SAMI199 10/10/2010 1:22AM

    Wow! You are really good-I love your blog so much I'm going back & starting with "A".So, if you need to find me ,that's where I'll be- emoticon

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WALKINGANNIE 10/9/2010 3:45PM

    You express these thoughts so well. I feel just like this now that I am small.

Yesterday I found myself absentmindedly patting my midriff wondering what was missing. It was my spare tyres of fat! Even after a year at maintenance there are times when my body feels foreign.

I agree about feeling a fraud as well. It is a strange feeling.

Thank you for showing me once again that I'm not alone in this foreign land - where I want permanent residency,

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/9/2010 11:08AM

    I love your ABC series of blogs, and most especially, this one you wrote today. It hit home for me. And, for me (and probably you, too) the difference this time is that with SP we are changing more than just body size. I am confident that you'll have no problem staying at your new/permanent small size. So that frock can be worn until it's falling off in shreds!

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REJ7777 10/9/2010 7:29AM

    I feel strange in my fitter body too. Don't get me wrong, it feels emoticon, but strange nevertheless. It doesn't feel like "me". I'm a bit surprised that you still feel that way after being near or at goal for so long. Thanks. Forewarned is forearmed. I wonder how long it takes for small to feel normal.

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MSLZZY 10/9/2010 6:49AM

    Overcome it and believe that this is "home"! You can do it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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W: wholeness

Friday, October 08, 2010

I chose "wholeness" as my W concept to remind myself that none of us is one- or two-dimensional. Any program of self-improvement, be it weight loss, organization, time management, or education has to consider the whole person.

Whole is another of those interesting words with many meanings:

1 a) in sound health, not diseased or injured b) healed
2 not broken, damaged, defective, etc.; intact
3 containing all the elements or parts; entire; complete
4 not divided up; in a single unit
5 constituting the entire amount, extent, number, etc.
6 having both parents in common
7 in all aspects of one's being, including the physical, mental, social, etc.
...

I'm mostly thinking in terms of definitions 3 and 7: the completeness of a program, addressing all the elements that make up a meaningful life. Hopefully addressing physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and social aspects of life in a healthy lifestyle program leads to both 4 (a whole night's sleep, on a more regular basis) and 1 sound health!

So in thinking about my journey over the decades, these are the things I have been seeking - a program that doesn't just give mechanics of what to eat and how to exercise and so forth to drop pounds. It has to also address the fact that I eat for reasons other than physical hunger! It has to included "what do I do with all these emotions?" It has to include some social support that goes beyond applause for numbers on a scale.

I believe that a good deal of what I love about SparkPeople is the social aspect of the blogs and teams: we support each other. We've been there. We speak our individual truths, share our struggles and triumphs... we're almost... dare I say it... a "spiritual" community of sorts. This is an element that commercial programs nod at but rarely achieve.

So... is your program "whole"? Do you feel supported in it here on SparkPeople? I certainly do!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAMI199 10/27/2010 6:01PM

    I can only add my praise for the SparksPeople program. I would never have guessed that I would have opened up the way I have-but the support,concern & yes,friendship that has been offered is truly incredible.You guys mean alot to me.

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REJ7777 10/8/2010 4:35PM

    "Wholeness" - What a great concept! I think that we often overeat to compensate for some unhealed and broken part of ourselves. As we heal and become whole, it's easier to let go of food as a crutch. I aspire to wholeness and balance in every area of my life. I haven't attained it, but I aspire to it!

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WALKINGANNIE 10/8/2010 3:52PM

    Wholeness used to mean that I would eat the whole lot of whatever food was available!

I agree with you about the spiritual element here. SP has changed me as a whole person in a way that a diet and exercise programme wouldn't do. Considering elements such as gratitude and mindful eating have made a big difference to me - as have thoughtful blogs like yours that have made me challenge my attitudes.

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/8/2010 10:56AM

    Oh yeah! SP is the real deal. The whole package. I have never felt so calm and peaceful on a weight loss program before. SP, with the trackers, information, and social networking is the reason why. I LOVE SP!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 10/8/2010 9:09AM

    Amen, sister! I LOVE SparkPeople and what it has done and is doing for me! Life-changing is what it is for me... I can look at facts all day, but implementing them into my life is what I really needed! SparkPeople gave me that! Good blog! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTURTLE 10/8/2010 8:49AM

    I have never known a community such as we have here on Spark People, be it for any purpose. I have never felt so supported, so encouraged, so motivated, as I have here in my journey towards a new and healthy lifestyle and at a weight that is in the middle of my healthy range.

I lost weight when I was first at Spark People, but I did it alone. I didn't join any teams, I didn't have any Spark Friends, but I did lose weight. I was pleased with my weight loss, and yet there was something missing, and when life became more demanding I gave up the things I felt were the least meaningful to me, and Sparking was one of them. Result - I gained all the weight I'd lost plus extra, and I returned within a few weeks to my old, unhealthy lifestyle. The program worked well, in that I learned how to lose weight in a healthy way, but it didn't offer the support or companionship that I needed.

When I returned, I decided this was it, I needed the support of Spark Friends and team mates and before long I realized what had been missing the first time I Sparked - the essential ingredient - support of those who knew first hand what taking this journey was about. At each hurdle I stumbled but I was soon picked up, dusted off and set back on my path by fellow Sparkers. Before long, losing weight became secondary to changing my life, and although the transformation is still a work in progress I know beyond the shadow of a doubt I am a far different person than I was when I returned.

So yes, my program is whole, and I am so incredibly supported here on Spark by some wonderfully caring and encouraging people. I too have to say emoticonand it amazes me every time I think of it, that with all Spark People provides us with, it does it all at no cost whatsoever to us.

Chris.

Comment edited on: 10/8/2010 8:51:54 AM

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KALIGIRL 10/8/2010 8:40AM

    I couldn't agree more.
Spark gives us the resources - up to date and from experts + allows us to learn from each other.
That's what I call a 'whole' life approach!
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PATRISNA 10/8/2010 8:13AM

    Hi Barb,
I didn't comment on the other blogs, but I got caught up by reading blogs T-W today. I enjoyed reading them all. The blogs you write always give me something profound to think about.

You are right about the support and community feeling Sparkpeople gives us. Believe me I am sure I would have given up my program sometime last year if I had not found Sparkpeople when I did. This group of friends has really helped me by being so supportive.

I have learned so much from following your journey through your blogs. I know that when I finally get to my goal weight there will be some emotional issues that I will continue to address. We all seem to have some inner turmoil. If nothing else we have learned our program is for life and we will be a work in progress for as long as we live.

As always your blogs were emoticon

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MSLZZY 10/8/2010 6:57AM

    SP is the whole program! I feel so much support that it makes it much easier to succeed. So many others have used the same tools and the success stories prove it. emoticon
Thanks for sharing! Many members with the same goals! HUGS! Have a GREAT Friday!

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V: vitality

Thursday, October 07, 2010

I'm back into The Solution (by Laurel Mellin, M.A., R.D.) for my v-word. One of the size causes of weight problems she writes about is "poor vitality". And its corresponding solution is "good health".

The point that the author makes is that in order for even a walk around the block to be a pleasure, not a chore, requires vitality, or health! Believe it or not, with my own particular upbringing, this was an eye-opener: I really had to pay attention to my body and what it was telling me, and get some things fixed! I first read this book in the mid-1990's, and I buried my head in the sand and ignored that chapter for another five years!

With my personal background this was a huge hurdle. Those of you who know a little more of the story know there was a religious element involved... I was raised in a faith where you "don't go to doctors". I left the church a full four years before I overcame that hurdle. Trust me, when raised from childhood with non-standard beliefs, it's hard to come into the mainstream. I was over 50 years old by the time I went in for a baseline assessment!

Funny thing, long before that, I had tried various things to address my weight issues. But this was always a hurdle for me: the prohibition from seeing a doctor, having him or her sign off on a goal weight interfered with just about every weight loss program.

Today I stand grateful for having moved beyond those childhood limitations. As with so many things it life, it wasn't easy. But it has been worth it.

May those who come across this contemplate "what's limiting you?" Are you holding on to old prohibitions... way back to childhood? Have you adopted habits and beliefs that don't hold up in your life today? Is it time to let some of them go? Are you ready to take up the challenge?

Here's to a vital and vibrant life, for all of us.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAMI199 10/27/2010 5:54PM

    At the risk of sounding flip-"Been there,Done that." It has been many years since I left, & I still have residual knee/jerk reactions to things. I have learned to stop the old tape in my head-I wonder if you can ever erase it???? Time will tell.

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WALKINGANNIE 10/7/2010 2:22PM

    I'm so glad that you found your vital Spark and grew stronger and healthier.

Your personal journey is a triumph.

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/7/2010 1:28PM

    So many words of wisdom in this blog. Thanks, Barb!

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KALIGIRL 10/7/2010 1:06PM

    Here's to vitality, without a doubt. Interestingly I've been finding myself tired (and definitely hungrier) from riding my bike. Part of the reason is lack of good sleep - time on the bike takes time from other things = stress, but part is due to just plain (happy) tired muscles.
As I was stretching after strength training this morning, I remembered how I could barely accomplish one stretch which now only feels good - that's strength and vitality!

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ANDI571 10/7/2010 11:46AM

    I'm glad you have come into your own, and discovered how to get that vitality. It's so important. I need to take a dose of it right now to get me back out there walking. No energy = low vitality = no exercise to get vitality. It is a viscous cycle.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 10/7/2010 9:56AM

    I grew up in a religion similar in the limitations, just different ones. Yes, it is really something to give up things that were ingrained in you since childhood! Even if they're not right or true, your mind is trained to go that way! Good for you for recognizing the important things necessary to live a healthy, fulfilled life! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANONALEE 10/7/2010 9:08AM

    It is interesting that vitality comes from proper eating and exercise but the motivation to make that investment is frequently hampered by the lack of vitality -- like the vital get more vital and the non-vital languish. I think the idea of starting with small steps to increase one's vitality (like SparkPeople, the 4 Day Win, etc) can be a real game changer for folks who feel overwhelmed by a major shift. But taking that first step is, er, VITAL for anything to change.

And then there's the whole issue of how vital it is to have people like you blogging so that other people (like me) get the encouragement to take those first steps. Again and again if necessary.

Cheers, Debra
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KATHRYNLP 10/7/2010 8:42AM

    Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Thanks for this thought provoking Blog! emoticon

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MSLZZY 10/7/2010 8:07AM

    Overcoming issues from childhood many years later requires an inner strength that not
everyone possesses. I had issues of self-esteem from childhood and have happily put them to rest. Take care of yourself and do the best you can. With age comes wisdom! HUGS!

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JHADZHIA 10/7/2010 7:50AM

    Good for you for overcoming your childhood limitations, that is very difficult to do, they way those extreme religions indoctrinate you.
Sparks is the last weight loss program you should ever need. I lost my weight (65 lbs) and am currently maintaining with Sparks. Because of my various health issues, I have been under multiple specialists care right from when I was a baby! I wouldn't have survived had I had been born into your religion! Doctors are fabulous!
I wish you all the best getting to your goal!

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A break from the alphabet... because I can't resist these quizzes!

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

'FOUR THINGS IN MY LIFE' QUIZ - shamelessly copied from Chris Turtle, MeddyPeddy, and others!

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Newspaper carrier
2. Baby-sitter
3. Telephone operator
4. Computer analyst/programmer

Four movies I have watched more than once:
1. Apollo 13
2. Chariots of Fire
3. You've Got Mail
4. Sleepless in Seattle

Four places I have lived (all US):
1. Fairbury, Nebraska
2. Endicott, New York
3. Indianola, Iowa
4. Lincoln, Nebraska

Four Places I have been:
1. Rome, Italy
2. Baltimore, Maryland (USA)
3. Lewiston, Idaho (USA)
4. Boston, Massachusetts (USA)

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Broccoli Sandwich (from the YOU: The Owner's Manual book)
2. Runza
3. Omelets with lots of fresh veggies
4. A good cut of lean beef (steak)

Four TV shows I watch:
1. NCIS, Los Angeles
2. The Big Bang Theory
3. Big Brother (addicted, now the secret's out)
4. Bones

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Quite happy to be where I am right now.
2. On a beach, gathering shells and watching the sun rise (so that means an East coast, somewhere)
3. Snuggled under the covers, sleeping in.
4. Hiking around a State Park with companions... but maybe not RIGHT now... about mid-day!

Four things I am looking forward to this year:
1. My niece's wedding
2. The Run to Remember at Fort Hood
3. Enjoying the holidays with a PEOPLE focus, not a food focus.
4. Knowing I have the strength to shovel the snow this winter. Again!

Enough about me..................how about you???

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALIGIRL 10/6/2010 10:17PM

    Broccoli sandwich????
Looks like a great year ahead, sans the shoveling snow, but if La Nina works her magic it will be powdery...
Glad you're happy to be where you are (there is no place like Nebraska)
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TURTLETALK 10/6/2010 9:39PM

    I knew you were from Nebraska as soon as you used the work Runza. I love Runza's but have stayed away from them since sparking. I make a homemade runza (bierock) with a portion of frozen roll dough (thawed), 1/2 cup of cooked lean ground beef, 1/2 cabbage, and 1/4 cup of onion. Flatten out the dough ball, fill it with the other ingredients, let it raise, then bake until brown. Yum, I'm making myself hungry.

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WALKINGANNIE 10/6/2010 3:07PM

    'Sleeping in'?!!!! Now that was a surprise given your habits as an early riser!

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PEGGYJEAN13 10/6/2010 3:03PM

    Interesting way to get to know more about someone. Thank you.

I like runzas too. Is this a Nebraska novelty?



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ANONALEE 10/6/2010 1:47PM

    Thanks for posting, Barb! I did it too -- hard to resist!!!

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PATRISNA 10/6/2010 10:05AM

    Barb,
I love reading the Four Things quizzes I have seen posted. I agree with Christurtle's comment. I am also curious about Runza. I'll have to look that one up.

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 10/6/2010 7:16AM

    Now I have a song in my head - "Getting to know you..."

have a great day!

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MSLZZY 10/6/2010 7:11AM

    I'll save this and work on it if it stays quiet today LOL! HUGS!

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CHRISTURTLE 10/6/2010 7:05AM

    I love all of these I've read today, cos they are such a great way of getting to know each other better than we did. I just have one question - what on earth is runza? You have my curiosity aroused, and I can't stand not knowing something...
Hugs,
Chris.

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U: usable

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Ever find one of those words that you can't define without using the word itself or its root or derivative? "Use" is one of those words!

As a software designer (one of my hats), I once took a course in "usability". Bear with me, this does have a Spark connection. In this course, about 20 software / hardware engineers sat together and were asked as an opening exercise to design a "usable" hot and cold water faucet: what direction the handles would turn, which side things would be on, etc. Also included were controls for a stove-top.

So, any predictions for what designs came out? Did I hear a voice in the back saying, "you designed what you already used!"? In fact, that's true. Each of us ended up drawing the faucet control or stove controls that we had at home. Whoa! To US, they were usable. But they certainly were not identical.

This exercise was to wake us up to the fact that to design something usable, you needed to understand who was going to be using it, what their background and experience was, and so on.

Which brings me to Spark, diet, and exercise. Each of us brings to Spark a wealth of experience. There are a lot of content experts here on Spark who know nutrition and know exercise very well. But each of us will find the tools here more or less usable based on what we have already experienced.

Extending this to eating plans and exercise plans and mind-work: nobody knows YOU better than you! (Well, maybe your mom or your spouse... but I digress!) Tools and programs have to work into your life. I just saw a blog by SLENDERELLA61 yesterday where she was adapting her schedule to fit in the things that have become priorities to her program, so that she can continue her maintenance journey successfully.

I had to do something similar last Winter / Spring / Summer when a large work project interfered with my energy levels... I had to adapt my expectations and my plan to fit the way my life needed to work for six months or so. Change isn't always easy. But it's seldom absent. Adapting things in a program to make them usable where I am RIGHT NOW in my life is essential to long term success.

That means considering, re-considering, and adjusting... you know, those that I see setting monthly goals have something there. When I sit down with an adviser (maybe even that internal adviser in my brain) and discuss upcoming events in life and how I will fit my program around them, I am doing the same sort of thing: planning and adapting.

So this is my wish for all of us today: Here's to keeping our weight management and fitness and nutrition plans fresh and usable... with periodic reviews of "how it is going".

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAMI199 10/22/2010 9:26AM

    Time is all we have ,so we better "use" it right!
It's all up to us-each & every moment-Be useful& win!!!!!!!


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KALIGIRL 10/6/2010 1:06PM

    I love that this site provides so many usable ways for so many different people to become healthy.
Here's to finding what works for us and helping others find what can work for them.

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MSLZZY 10/5/2010 5:29PM

    Adapting and adjusting to life's circumstances-yeah. Thank you!

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ANONALEE 10/5/2010 8:27AM

    Definitely! There is no "one size fits all" plan despite the confident assertions of each diet book writer. Each of us has to use what we know about ourselves and our lives and fit in new ideas and information in a usable way. If it doesn't fit, we must shift to what does!

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MICKEYMAX 10/5/2010 8:07AM

    well said1

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REJ7777 10/5/2010 7:48AM

    Great analogy! emoticon

"Here's to keeping our weight management and fitness and nutrition plans fresh and usable... with periodic reviews of "how it is going"."

You can count me in! emoticon

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 10/5/2010 7:41AM

    Great blog - thanks for sharing your insights!

I guess I am doing the same thing - working my program around life.

We are making this happen!

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