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Reality check

Friday, October 22, 2010

Analogy: if I were binge eating, stopping would be a good thing, wouldn't it? No matter who baked the goodies and would be "disappointed" if I didn't eat them?

Honesty, this one's about money. I know, there's another whole Spark site that's all about money. But this one crosses over because I've been talking for so long about this 5K, the Run to Remember. I've been thinking about it, planning for it, training for it.

But... my financial alarm bells have been going off, loudly, for several months, and for several reasons. Furnace and wedding trip being the most recent. And now, I'm asking myself some hard questions about this run:

"Who am I really doing this for?" And I have to wonder if I'm not just doing it because I said I would and if it hasn't become more about me than about the people it is supposed to honor: the fallen and wounded. I have seen pleas over on Facebook for financial support to get the wounded and their families traveling expenses to be at the run. Isn't that more important than me going? I'm not that important to the day... and to spend $500 or more to physically get me there and back... not nearly as important as some Gold star family. There will be plenty of local runners there.

So... thinking about an alternate plan that won't make my own alarm bells go off so badly:

1. I will still run that day, just not in the real event. I'll run here at home. I will think of the honorees.

2. I will contribute something to the fund for travel expenses for the families.

3. I will deal with the "pride" issues associated with having talked it up so much... that's probably the biggest hurdle.

What do you think, Spark friends?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 10/25/2010 6:37PM

    It's obvious you've taken time to think this through carefully and I personally think you've made a decision that honors your original intent. I find you're wise not to cave in to self-imposed pressure to spend money you do not have. It's also very generous of you to help a family with their travelling fees, in spite of your own financial challenges.

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SAMI199 10/24/2010 8:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MSLZZY 10/22/2010 11:34PM

    This tells me you are a very giving person with a true sense of
honor and dignity. It is the most unselfish thing to do and I applaud you for putting others first! HUGS!

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MNTWINSGAL 10/22/2010 7:59PM

    Barb, I've said it are a very wise woman. I know you wanted to be there, but if finances are an issue - and let's face it: everybody is feeling the strain these days! - then I think it's a great idea to honor your pledge to run that 5k while at the same time honoring that little voice in the back of your head that's telling you to keep an eye on the pocketbook too. Run on your own, and in the peace and solitude you can remember the fallen and wounded in a more spiritual way than if you were there in the commotion of the event anyway!

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KALIGIRL 10/22/2010 4:10PM

    I think HOORAY!!!!!
Would you do me a favor and point me to the facebook site, so I can join you?
I am proud to call you a emoticon

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STEPHIEKNITS 10/22/2010 3:44PM

    I think you solution is a win for everyone. It matters not where you run, but why you run that day.

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/22/2010 11:01AM

    I think your new plan is admirable and if that makes you feel best, then you should do that. That being said, I also think you need to focus that while you're running for the memory of those lost and injured, you're also running for you. If being at the actual event helps you deal with some of the emotions you've been feeling about it, then perhaps you deserve to give yourself that gift. Yes, you've had expenses, but if you really want to go (and it does appear to be important to you), then you should go. Consider it a reward for all of the hard work you have put in. Is there a less expensive way to travel? Train or bus? Would that be an option? Or maybe carpool with someone else who's going? If you could find a less expensive way to travel there, then you'd have a little extra left over to contribute to the fund for other families. There are all sorts of options. In the end, though? You need to do not only what you THINK you should do, but what you REALLY WANT to do. I know you'll make the right decision.

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BUGGYS 10/22/2010 10:37AM

    You are running for YOU and nobody else and you will get your run in where ever that may be...I think you made a wise choice and in the long run, will be happy that you made it!

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ANDI571 10/22/2010 10:29AM

    I think you are being very wise. I had the same issues when I had it in my mind to start the C25K program. I was gun hoe. It didn't take me long to figure out, my feet are not cut out for running and I could do more damage than good. Just because something sounds good to us, doesn't mean it is meant for us or feasible for us to do. Your heart will be there, and that is the main thing. You have every right to keep the pride going. Good for you for making wise decisions.

I didn't know there was a site on here about money. I need to make that a goal also.

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SMARTIEBEE 10/22/2010 10:23AM

    I agree with the others, Barb. Do what your heart tells you. If you think you would enjoy the thrill of competition, you could find a local run to participate in. Above all else, run for YOU!

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SUNNY332 10/22/2010 8:28AM

    I am with Connie on this one - I think you should do what your heart tells you to do.

I think a contribution will be an honorable thing to do. Where you run does not matter as much as why you run and your heart is definitely in the right place.

You have the bestest heart emoticon my friend and I am proud to know you.

Hugs, Sunny

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CONCHA77 10/22/2010 8:13AM

    I don't think if matters WHERE you run, but WHY you run. Do what your heart tells you, Barb. Whatever and where ever you decide to run we are right behind you. Either way you make us proud!

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TEACHINMOM 10/22/2010 8:10AM

    I think if that if you feel at peace with that decision then you should go with it. Were it me, being a financial issue, I know it would give me peace. It is a wonderful, selfless thing to do to go ahead and still help others out and would truly be honoring to them. As far as the pride issue, you should still have pride in what you do and don't worry about what ANYONE else thinks about it!!! I think it is an awesome alternative! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Couch to 5K... it works!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

For those of you contemplating taking up running, for the sake of some special event (like I was), I can testify to the fact that the Couch to 5K plan, in fact, will get you to where you want to be. In nine weeks. Remember NOT to try to take it faster (OK, I counted 6 day weeks, and did crunch it a little... but that just means I'm ready early and have to maintain now for a couple of weeks).

Anyway, I'm still working on recuperating, but I took a Zirtek last night at bedtime and woke ready (and anxious) to get back to exercise, so I chanced doing that final workout, and felt good. Now, post-work, I'm a little wiped out, but that's at least partly attributable to the workday itself, not the workout beforehand.

Sixteen days 'til the Run to Remember!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARON2014 10/23/2010 10:21AM

    This sounds great. Is there any type of plan like that for walking? I really don't want to run at this point...Love your backgound picture!! emoticon

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SUNNY332 10/22/2010 7:54AM

    emoticon What a huge Achievement!

You can do it and we will be here to help you celebrate.

Hope you even feel better today.

Hugs, Sunny

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LYNNEJ5 10/22/2010 4:41AM

    Congratulations! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonLove and God Bless Lynne

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FITAT50 10/22/2010 3:13AM

    I did the couch to 5k plan and ran my first 5k at age 53. It really does work, it's an incredible feeling crossing that finish line. Good luck and have fun!!

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MSLZZY 10/21/2010 11:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DTCATSPARK 10/21/2010 8:39PM

    Sounds like a good plan, heard about it .... Need to give it a whirl.

Thanks for pointer

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NJJAZZ 10/21/2010 8:35PM

    I am seriously considering doing the couch to 5k process. if my knees cn take running - this looks like a good way to approach it.

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/21/2010 8:04PM

    Your determination and commitment are phenomenal. I can only imagine how proud you're going to be when you cross that finish line.

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Staying home yesterday was a good call

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I say that because this morning, even though I'm still "draining", I feel so much better! I pretty much laid about the house glassy-eyed, trying not to feel the sore throat, and "fed" it chicken soup and whatever I felt like. It was over the calorie range, but not extreme. I don't keep really horrible stuff in the house and some of the healthier things just don't go down well when your throat hurts.

Anyway, today's point is this observation: I was feeling very sorry for myself yesterday because for all my fitness efforts, I still got sick! Warped. There is no guarantee that because you are fit, you'll never catch a cold or over-extend yourself. And I did all the preventive things I could think to do when I felt it coming on: made sure I went to bed on time, kept vertical so things wouldn't clog up, etc.

The GOOD part of the observation is this: when I am fit, and have been giving my body nutritious food that supports the immune system, I may not avoid catching whatever it is, but I seem to bounce back better and faster!

That rates a emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 10/21/2010 8:01AM

    Very positive attitude. Sometimes you just can't avoid getting sick but then you will appreciate good health all the more. HUGS!

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WALKINGANNIE 10/20/2010 3:57PM

    Glad you're feeling better today and you're right - we do bounce back quicker when we are well-nourished and active.

Hope you keep on feeling better.

emoticon emoticon

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REJ7777 10/20/2010 2:12PM

    "There is no guarantee that because you are fit, you'll never catch a cold or over-extend yourself." Oh no! emoticon
Glad you're feeling better! emoticon

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SAMI199 10/20/2010 1:56PM

    I hope you are feeling much better now!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/20/2010 11:30AM

    I'm glad you're feeling better today. And you're right -- the more fit we become, the better we bounce back. Way to go!

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ANDI571 10/20/2010 10:45AM

    Glad you are taking care of yourself. Bouncing back quick means so much.

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BUGGYS 10/20/2010 9:19AM

    I totally agree with you,Barb, about the exercise and your immune system...I have watched kids in my home for the past 30plus years and have only gotten really sick a couple of times and I give exercise all the credit...I do try and get in some form of exercise every day. Glad you are feeling better!!! emoticon

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SUNNY332 10/20/2010 8:36AM

    Glad you got some rest and hope you have a GREAT day. Glad you are feeling better. Staying home was a good call.


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KALIGIRL 10/20/2010 8:30AM

    Glad to hear you are 'fighting' your cold/flu with good food and rest.
Hope you feel better soon!

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CONCHA77 10/20/2010 8:23AM

    Glad you are feeling better, Barb.

I also went to a wedding this weekend and I felt yukky the next day just because I didn't get my normal amt of sleep. Gets me every time. And of course the few drinks didn't help either, that also gets me every time. (I didn't have the sore throat, just really tired)

Again, happy you are feeling back to yourself, Hugs

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So, is it just me? I rather suspect on this one I'm in the minority...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

When you make the call to stay home sick because, let's say, you have a sore throat / cold deal... do you feel like a wimp? Do you feel guilty? Like you should have somehow duked it out?

Especially when I've had a weekend in which I expended a lot of energy on something very non-work (like I did), if my body caves to some bug in the aftermath, I have this additional baggage to work through. Methinks it is a by-product of my upbringing, and perfectionism.

And today, I fed the cold. And hopefully fessing up to the weird feelings will help me get past them and get back to some sense of equilibrium tomorrow. Here's to a good night's sleep and recovery.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 10/21/2010 8:02AM

    There is much out there to share. Our football team had to forfeit the last game of the season because so many had
"the creeping crud". Take care!

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SAMI199 10/20/2010 9:42PM

    I have a chronic illness that has prevented me from working as an R.N.-talk about guilt...I hated the feeling of dependence I felt-it took years to regain my sense of self-worth & purpose.


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KALIGIRL 10/20/2010 8:43AM

    I'm a definite stay home person for two reasons.
1. I heal faster
2. I don't spread the germs.
Glad you are taking care emoticon

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ANDI571 10/19/2010 11:31PM

    I don't even work outside the home, and if I decide to take the day off of housework I feel guilty. I wanted to sleep in this morning, and I woke up in time to head to Weight Watchers. I turned over to sleep and then told myself to get my lazy self out of bed and go. So yeah, I have those feelings.

Why oh why can't we learn to take care of ourselves? Who put out the memo that we should feel guilty if we do?

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MOMMA_2_THREE 10/19/2010 11:07PM

    I always felt bad about missing work cause I was sick. Now, on my self proclaimed "mental health" days off, no, I didnt feel guilty :-)

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MNTWINSGAL 10/19/2010 8:50PM

    Looks like the majority of your spark buddies are just like you--and so am I. I always try to be Superwoman--like I can take it, no matter how bad. I know I shouldn't....but the darn work ethic always kicks in.

But even though I probably wouldn't follow my own advice, I feel like I must tell you to take care of YOU and stop feeling guilty!

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CHRISTURTLE 10/19/2010 8:46PM

    I know just how you feel! I was the same while I was working, am now while I'm at college.

I continued to work (against doctor's orders) in 4 degree C temperatures packing meat while I had pneumonia till I got to the point where I needed to be driven home and was forced to take 6 weeks off to recover properly. I'd like to think I learned my lesson then, that its better to take a day or two off before things get too serious than weeks off later when they do. Mind you, I still staggered in to college needlessly with a severe sinus infection adding to the joys of hay fever, just because I didn't want them to think I wasn't serious about completing the course.

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SMARTIEBEE 10/19/2010 7:47PM

    Nope - not just you! I went to work once with a temp of 101 - and felt guilty when i gave up and went home! No more though! That is a good thing about being retired! You can stay home when you are really too sick to work!

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SHAPNUP 10/19/2010 7:41PM

    How auspicious that I would run across this blog today - a day I have taken off due to having a viral infection.

I usually NEVER call in sick and never miss work due to my own illness (but I do with the parental units). I go to work sick. I carry germs, and feel like crap all day, and take it out on my co-workers, but I WORK, cuz that's how I was raised.

But not this time, and hopefully, not anymore. Today I needed to rest, to get in some fluids, to not make myself worse. And I didn't feel a bit guilty. I'm giving that up for good. Here's why. I'm a conscientious employee. I work hard. Nobody is getting ripped off because I didn't go to work today. When I'm sick, I'm not doing anybody any favors by going to work. Besides, that's what sick days are for, and since I hardly ever use them, I have an abundance of them.

So here's to being sick and staying home, guilt-free! emoticon

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SUNNY332 10/19/2010 7:26PM

    It is difficult but also good to take care of one's self. Hope you are feeling better tomorrow.

Here's to a good nights rest.

Hugs, Sunny

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BUGGYS 10/19/2010 7:18PM

    I was a daycare provider for years and only called families twice when I felt sick...I think I was immune or something but I always felt terribly guilty!!! Hope you feel better soon!

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REJ7777 10/19/2010 7:12PM

    When we're out of our routine for any length of time, it does kinda upset our equilibrium! Back to Sparking and "real life" after a good night's rest. emoticon

I used to feel guilty about taking a sick day, but not anymore.

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LEANJEAN6 10/19/2010 7:11PM

    Hi to YU!!!!--Poor yu --Yu go away--then get sick!!!!---Glad you stayed home to recover tho--Your body will thank yu!--leanjean6 (AKA LYNDA) emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/19/2010 7:03PM

    OH yeah! I'm right there with you. It's your/our work ethic. In fact, even if I felt like crud, when I'd call-in, I'd feel like I really had to act even sicker. I had to resist the "buck-up and get to work" guilt all the time. Having had the busy/fun weekend before only makes it feel worse. That being said, I don't think the co-workers and supervisors really care. Unless it happens every week, that is. I think they're glad you're home and not spreading germs around for them to catch.

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Fairy tale wedding, now back to business!

Monday, October 18, 2010

The wedding, as you can tell from the snaps, was amazing. The background is the happy couple, arriving at the reception, and I'll change it after a week or so, but I just love that snap! The bride apparently approved, because she made it her FB profile pic... I have to admit I'm a little pleased about that, but a good photo is mostly being in the right place at the right time with your finger on the button, and I got lucky.

It was, quite obviously, a joyous day! Oh, you want to know how I did with the food? Well, I didn't track until I got home but I did some anticipatory balancing... ate a protein rich breakfast, and avoided carbs at lunch, because I really wanted to taste the wedding cake!

And I did... I did the eyeball thing for the buffet dinner portion sizes. And enjoyed every bite. And danced. And talked. Had a great time in general, and managed to keep my boundaries intact. In short, I won the battle with my darker side for that day. Now don't get cocky! emoticon

Today it's back to work and the normal routine, and it's 3 weeks and counting to the Run to Remember, my target 5K. Still working on the plans for dog-care that week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 10/21/2010 8:15AM

    Wonderful photo! You got your cake and got to eat it too! HUGS!

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 10/19/2010 6:21PM

    Good for you, Barb! It's so rewarding to be able to go to an event, manage the food, and enjoy it without feeling like you've given up something or feel cheated. Sounds like an absolutely wonderful day for all of you. The photo is fantastic -- what a beautiful dress!

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SAMI199 10/19/2010 3:55PM


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PEGGYJEAN13 10/19/2010 1:58PM

    It sounds like you had a great time. This is what makes life fun to see all the relatives and enjoy the celebrations.

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MNTWINSGAL 10/19/2010 12:30AM

    Barb, you look lovely. My favorite color!

I wish I could figure out how to view your background picture though! For me it only flashes on for a split second and then is covered up by whatever I clicked on--your blog, your photos, etc.

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WALKINGANNIE 10/18/2010 3:16PM

    Wow! Look at you!

You look fabulous in your finery!

So pleased that you had a good time.

emoticon emoticon

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KALIGIRL 10/18/2010 9:43AM

    emoticon So glad to hear it was successful on all counts!

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KATHRYNLP 10/18/2010 8:53AM

    Lovely picture..

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LJCANNON 10/18/2010 8:31AM

    It sounds as if you had a GReat Time on all fronts!! You have learned to enjoy food and Life without getting cocky. I can't wait to hear about how you smoke that 5K!!!
emoticon emoticon

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REJ7777 10/18/2010 7:58AM

    Sounds wonderful!
And you danced away any extra calories from the cake - how great is that! emoticon

BTW, you look GREAT!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/18/2010 7:59:35 AM

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SUNNY332 10/18/2010 7:53AM

    The Bride looks so happy and you look amazing in your new dress.

Do have a GREAT week. Hard to believe your 5K is just around the corner. Keep up the great work.

Hugs, Sunny

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FLIGGACHICA 10/18/2010 7:47AM


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