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The blog before the run...

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Since I'm an early riser, here I sit with a couple of hours to rub together before race time. Yesterday throughout the day I was checking FaceBook for updates from my friends who were actually at Ft. Hood for the medal ceremony and memorial unveiling of the monument. And I was out building the brush pile in the yard... physical activity helps deal with emotions.

In the afternoon, I walked a mile and a half to a local party store, and bought not one, but it turned out four gold star-shaped balloons, and wrote the names of the fallen on them, three to a balloon, with a fourth one added to the fourth balloon. I have decided to release at the end of our run this morning, as it will be lighter then. Hope to catch their picture as they fly away, but even if not, I have them as the background shot for today, and maybe the next week or so.

I've said it before... we cannot change what happened in the past. No matter how good or how bad. It happened. What we can do is live our lives into the future, preserving, protecting, nurturing, and thereby honoring the sacrifice of those who have gone before.

This morning's run, as it happens in disparate locations, is a part of that honoring. Today I think especially of these 13 people, but I broaden my prayer to include all those who put their own lives at risk for a cause greater than themselves. And further, to include their families, who live with the knowledge that their loved one has made such a choice.

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JUST_TRI_IT 11/14/2010 9:40AM




emoticon plus one

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KALIGIRL 11/6/2010 11:22PM

    I first recognize your wonderful nature pile - lots of work from lots of time not spent in the yard.(My struggle was similar this year...)
I next recognize your wonderful early bird nature - I believe those who are blessed with an internal clock timed to nature have a special insight.
I last recognize your blessings on the 13 and their families, but more importantly (for me) those still in harms way.
Blessings on you, blessings on your son, blessings on those families who lost loved ones, and blessings on those serving abroad and their families at home.
I thank you for your dedication and commitment.

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ANDI571 11/6/2010 10:49AM

    Good luck with your run. I hope you know how special you are doing this for our fallen. You are not only doing it there, but here in our hearts that we may remember also. emoticon

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PATRISNA 11/6/2010 9:52AM

    Thinking of you and the 13 fallen that you are honoring with your run and those beautiful gold balloons.


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WISEONE68 11/6/2010 9:42AM

    Love the balloons, love your heart to do this, and I pray all who are "remembering" today find some peace and comfort!!

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SUNNY332 11/6/2010 9:22AM

    You make me so proud, Barb. Know that I will be thinking of you today as you make your run and also thinking of the 13 who lost their lives a year ago.

I love how you are honoring them with the gold balloons.

Take care and best wishes on a successful run.

You are my "SHERO" today!

Hugs, Sunny

Comment edited on: 11/6/2010 9:46:14 AM

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CONCHA77 11/6/2010 7:53AM

    Oh,and that is quite a pile of branches and such you worked so hard on! Whew! I would say you burnt quite a bit of calories and did some major strength training!

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CONCHA77 11/6/2010 7:52AM

    Today is your day to shine, Barb, for the 13 heroes and their loved ones.
Have fun with your run, your son and do have fun. I love the balloons. Perfect!
I am with you in Spirit and will be thinking of all of you today.
God Bless You All. emoticon

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SAMI199 11/6/2010 7:36AM

    I,too, will be running beside prayers today will of be with all of you who are honoring these men& women today.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 11/6/2010 7:33AM

    Oh I hope you enjoy the run--I shall be with you in my thoughts and prayers--- Hugs to you! Lynda

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MSLZZY 11/6/2010 7:23AM

    Remembering all affected by this tragedy and running beside you in my mind! HUGS!

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Little old lady with electric chain saw

Friday, November 05, 2010

Just wanted to give you a visual in the title. Seriously, though, what I did with my "recovery" day involved a small electric-powered chain saw I've had for a couple of years... but only this year started to use. Yes, remember my overgrown yard? My yard that's essentially been neglected for two years?

A year ago I was doing the parathyroid surgery thing. I didn't do Fall yard clean up before the surgery because I was concerned about allergies and getting sick and messing up the time-table. And of course, post-surgery you don't press your luck. Then during the warm months this year, I "pieced" at the yard work... there was so much of it. Add in the factor of not wanting to be too far away from my life-line communication to my son overseas (the computer); I never spent too long away from it.

With this unstructured time, this is one of the things I wanted to tackle. And yesterday I spent about three hours out there in the wind doing just that. The brush pile at the foot of the driveway is growing. I have four more days during which to add to it before the trash folks come to haul it away.

Totally different topic: Today is the actual anniversary of the shootings at Fort Hood. I touched base with my son last night, he seems to be doing OK. I will go get my balloon late this afternoon, and I have my permanent marker ready to add the names before I let it drift up to the heavens tomorrow. Yes, this is the right way for me... and for my son.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALKINGANNIE 11/5/2010 2:56PM

    Little? Oh yes!
Old? No surely not!

Congratulations on your outdoor work.

My thoughts are with you and your son as you run to remember and to honour those who lost their lives or are still affected by that awful events of last year.

I hope that conditions are good for your run.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KALIGIRL 11/5/2010 1:57PM

    Your 'visual' worked for me - take care with that device!
Glad you and your son will share in this run.
Wishing you the best!

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GOHUSKERS2 11/5/2010 1:02PM

    Releasing the balloons with the names on them is a wonder way to send your love; and tomorrows run will be great! A little chilly but better than this morning...19 here. My prayers go out to you, your son, and the other soldiers and their families. What a horrific experience. lets all pray that Gods peace be with them.

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TURTLETALK 11/5/2010 12:33PM

    Have a great "run to remember. The rest of us will be "remembering" along side you in our thoughts.

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SUNNY332 11/5/2010 10:55AM

    I will be thinking of you tomorrow as you make your run. Praying for the families of the victims and the fellow soldiers who lost so much a year ago today.

God Bless them all.

Hugs, Sunny

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KATHRYNLP 11/5/2010 9:08AM

    Just wondering if that chain saw could trim some fat off me? Maybe by using it, huh? emoticon emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 11/5/2010 7:30AM

    I admire your actions to take back your yard, you little old lady with chain saw! I know that your day of rest involved lots of calories burned and improvements to your property. Good going!

Wishing you and your son peace on your day of remembrance. -Marsha

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REJ7777 11/5/2010 7:28AM

    That sure is a catchy title! emoticon emoticon
It must feel great to be getting all of that work done... and you're staying in shape for your run!

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HALOSEEKER 11/5/2010 7:20AM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son during this time of remembrance. Have a blessed day.

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MSLZZY 11/5/2010 7:13AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Wednesday was a train wreck for my program

Thursday, November 04, 2010

I think a day like this had been building up for some time. The looming deadline of the Run to Remember and the disappointment of not actually making the drive and seeing people who have said they will miss me there... add that to the long stretch of time off... unstructured time... and my own high expectations of myself for "getting things done" with that unstructured time. Buried boulders on the path, waiting to stub toes and trip me up. Add that to waking up at 2:50 a.m. and not being able to go back to sleep and you have something brewing.

Intelligence is not a defense against this sort of thing. It's going to happen every once in while. And... the perfect storm led to an attack of the devilish "I don't wannas". emoticon And I remembered the Good N Plenty package I bought as a Halloween treat and had not opened... and it started the flood gates opening. It was the smallest package I could find in the store (I had planned to get Halloween snack sized boxes and hand them out, reserving one for me... but the store was out... and I bought this "movie treat" sized package. And I ate the whole thing, all 4 1/2 servings its nutrition (or lack thereof) label claimed was in it. I went on to eat other treats, but since I don't keep chips in the house was protected from the urge for those salty treats... believe me, had they been here, they would have been history. Had chocolate or peanut butter or cheese been in the house... yep, I know I would have eaten it.

This speaks to the wisdom of not even buying it: because when the weak moments come, there is not a 100% guaranteed protection. Best protection, I have found, for ME, anyway, is just not to have it in the house.

So, yeah, second time within a week where I blew the calories and didn't burn them off. The plus side? I slept really, really well last night! I stopped eating around supper time, not being hungry any more. emoticon

BUT, it has to emoticon now! The deal with maintenance is that there will be days like this. Just as there were days like this throughout the long months of losing. But maintenance does not mean your body can take this kind of abuse every day or even for a week.

I rather suspect that the Halloween treats I allowed myself on Sunday helped set this up (sugar, folks, is a drug for some of us)... and the unstructured time... and the anniversary that the run is marking... and concern even about all of this.

So, today, emoticon of binge recovery. Nurture. Big picture. Take care of me! Don't beat up on me. Follow my own advice! Because, as I tell others that each of them is worth it... so am I.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MNTWINSGAL 11/4/2010 11:54PM

    We all have days like this....and that's ok, as long as we don't lose sight of the reasons we got in the position we were in before the start of our weight loss journeys. We don't ever want to go back there! (Well, I'm still kinda there, but you know what I mean!) I'm glad you are back on track now though.

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PENNYAN45 11/4/2010 8:22PM

    Sugar can do the same to me - and did earlier this week.


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REJ7777 11/4/2010 3:10PM

    It's great that you were able to avoid a bigger binge by not having those other addictive foods in the house. You had already won the battle at the grocery store. Sugar and fat are addictive. If I have pastries or chips, etc. in the house, I'll eat them! And I will NOT be reasonable about it! I HAVE to keep that junk out of the house. Then if I absolutely must have some, I have to go out and buy it. That alone has enabled me to avert many a binge!

You're doing well! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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WALKINGANNIE 11/4/2010 2:20PM

    We all have to take this a day at a time Barb and many people recognise where you have just been - and you have analysed why you went there. We're all learning with you and from you.

Couldn't agree more on the wisdom of not having food in the house. It's one of the things that work for me.

The main thing is that you acknowledge the blip and move on. When I go over calories I try to remember that I would need to eat 3,500 calories more than I use to gain a pound. Not even your 4.5 servings would add up to that.

Take care of yourself as you prepare for your run. That will burn off some calories and perhaps you can release some of the pent up emotion as you run your course.

Take care my friend.

emoticon emoticon

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KALIGIRL 11/4/2010 1:10PM

    Glad you're on day 1 of forward steps after your Halloween tricks.
Autumn is a time of change and it's often difficult to stay grounded, particularly with new life changes.
I know emoticon

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CONCHA77 11/4/2010 12:47PM

    Hi Barb,
Hope your back on track today-We all have those times....
Treat yourself to a nice walk today, you are worth it.


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ANDI571 11/4/2010 10:58AM

    I did so well while we were gone on eating sugar, then on the trip home, I started. And it's like once you get the taste, that's all you think about. Today is a new day, and like you said, "Take care of me! Don't beat up on me! I am worth it!"

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BUGGYS 11/4/2010 10:18AM

    Sugar is always one of those demons I have to deal with also...I know that I cannot have just one piece becasue it just leads to a binge or just forgetting this healthy journey. Just pick yourself up, brush yourself off and begin again...don't ever beat yourself up because you have come so far to fall back to old habits! emoticon

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SUNNY332 11/4/2010 8:49AM

    I have a hard time putting on the breaks on sugar too. Once I start, I am into it for a while. I have learned that I can not "flirt" with sweets as it always gets me into a relationship that is hard to get out of.

Good job to make today Day 1 of binge recovery. You are so right - worth the effort.

Take care and have a good day. I know your friends will miss you. That is the sad part of not being able to be there with them.

You still, in my humble opinion, made a wise choice.

Hugs, Sunny

Comment edited on: 11/4/2010 8:50:11 AM

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SHAWFAN 11/4/2010 8:37AM

    You are worth it! We all have to remind ourselves of this. You CAN get back on track to healthy maintenance and not feel guilty any more about the set back. It's over and done with and today is a new day! emoticon emoticon

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KASEYCOFF 11/4/2010 8:31AM

    I agree with you about 'sugar is a drug' - and having any really sets up the addiction-style cravings, at least, it does with me. No such thing as 'just a little' - for an ex-smoker or an alcoholic, no such thing as 'just one.' And as for the 3 AM kitchen raid... goes to show no road is entirely smooth, ain't? emoticon

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MSLZZY 11/4/2010 8:30AM

    So much wisdom and honesty in your blog! Put it behind you and focus on getting back on track. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Run to Remember minus four days and counting

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Yesterday evening I checked in on Facebook and discovered I'm not the only one who will be "running remote" for the run to remember. One of the gals I met at Yellow Ribbons will be jogging the trails in Maine, with her husband. Another in Wisconsin. I wonder if any of the Kansas crowd will be doing the same... haven't seen a post saying so (yet).

This only increases my enthusiasm and sense of unity with others impacted by the events of that day. The women who started the movement for the run to remember are a sister who lost her brother, and a fiance whose intended was seriously wounded but has recovered: their wedding day next Summer will be a source of great joy! The purpose of the run is to have a positive event marking the anniversary of the tragedy.

In a wave around the Nation centered at Fort Hood, we will be Running to Remember... at 8 a.m. Central time, on Saturday, November 6th. I cordially invite you all to participate, virtually... wherever you are, by dedicating your workout that morning to positive memories of these thirteen people:

Michael C,
Francheska (and her unborn child),
Michael P,
Kham and

My personal thanks for all the encouragement I've received from Spark friends in my preparations for this day! Anybody local? We'll be on the MoPac trail... I'm plotting on a single balloon with the 13 names on it, to release at the start of our run (because I don't want to manhandle 13 balloons). Low key, but with feeling.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENNYAN45 11/3/2010 9:28AM

    I will think of those 13 on Saturday - and will dedicate my exercise to them.

Thanks for passing this on to us.


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KALIGIRL 11/2/2010 9:55PM

    Marvelous - can't be there with you in person, but will be in spirit!

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WILMASOTO 11/2/2010 8:25PM

    Barb what an awesome thing to do!! I would love to join you virtually. Can it be any distance? What a great way to honor them!!

Best of luck and thanks for sharing and letting others paricipate as well!!

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WALKINGANNIE 11/2/2010 5:44PM

    Very moving Barb. You have found a wonderful way to honour the people and to support those who lost their loved ones.


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REJ7777 11/2/2010 1:51PM


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SUNNY332 11/2/2010 10:17AM

    Sounds like a great plan coming together for you. Hope you have someone to take photos.

Take care!


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WISEONE68 11/2/2010 8:43AM

    Sounds perfectly wonderful!! You are taking something people normally do for themselves---run--to stay fit, and honoring the memories of others. This is very meaningful and I am proud of you, girl.
You are looking GREAT...and, I am sure, feeling great!! You are a source of inspiration and I know your run will mean a lot to you and those you "run to remember".
Bless you!! emoticon

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CONCHA77 11/2/2010 8:05AM

    I think what you are doing is wonderful. I will dedicate that day to those whom you listed and keep them in mind and prayers.
God Bless,
Have a great vacation!

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WENDYSPARKS 11/2/2010 7:37AM


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MSLZZY 11/2/2010 7:27AM

    A perfect way to remember them! Thanks for sharing their names. HUGS!

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November begins - maintenance goals

Monday, November 01, 2010

I said I would be cogitating on goals for the days of growing darkness... which would now be the next 51 days (to December 21st, the shortest daylight hours of the year in this hemisphere, anyway). Here's what I came up with.


1. After the Run to Remember (November 6th), I want to start shifting my focus from running to strength training. I still want to get my 30 minutes of walking in each day (and maybe jog once or twice a week), but I want to start getting those lower body, upper body, and core workouts in more regularly than I have been lately. So, 3 days a week of strength training for November.

2. I will get enough sleep!

3. I will give myself regular pep talks, and do a reality check on the holiday indulgences... to make sure I'm being reasonable and balanced, neither depriving nor enabling!

4. I will take those stress-busting breaks at work, if necessary walking in the basement. This is more than physical exercise, it is an essential to balance and stress management.

5. I will live in the moment, and be aware of what's going on around me and in the world. I will feel, not numb.

I know not all easily measurable goals, as weight loss ones are. At least the exercise ones are - 3 days a week, etc. But the emotional living in the moment isn't. So... to give myself accountability: I shall continue the blogging goal! For November, I will write a blog entry, six out of seven days.

How about you? What are your goals for November?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 11/1/2010 6:22PM

    That looks like a very workable plan. emoticon I need to work on my November goals. I have some thoughts, but have to take the time to assemble them.

I smiled when I read: "I will take those stress-busting breaks at work, if necessary walking in the basement." emoticon I thought I was the only one who did that. emoticon When I need to breathe, I go downstairs and walk back and forth a few times. I feel like I've "snuck in" some "me" time, and go back to work refreshed and ready for the next challenge. emoticon


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WALKINGANNIE 11/1/2010 4:15PM

    Great goals Barb, with a lot of thought about balancing different aspects of your overall wellbeing.

Love your new profile pic!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KALIGIRL 11/1/2010 9:42AM

    Superb goals (as usual). Like the shift to strength training and the concentration on balance in your life.

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WISEONE68 11/1/2010 8:48AM

    I am praying about my goals now. One of them is to do another Daniel Fast, which I began today and will run through the 21st.
You are looking GREAT!!! Keep up the excellent work and good luck on your goals!! emoticon

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MSLZZY 11/1/2010 7:39AM

    My goals are to walk at least 30 minutes. and ST for 10 minutes. I will strive to do this daily but I already know there will be days when this is compromised.
Here's to a new month of possibilities to succeed! HUGS!

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