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One day - the pep talk

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Today. emoticon Each day is really day one. I remind myself of this each time I have a rough patch.

emoticon "I can't do this forever, I'm so tired of it!"
emoticon "Can you do it today?"

Just today. No questions for tomorrow. Just today.

Yesterday I was back on track with the food. And after work last night, I tackled the second half of the back yard: cleaning up the winter remains of having had a dog. In some ways this is a sad chore. Knowing there won't be more piles to scoop. It's both a relief and a sadness. emoticon But, no, I'm not going to go out and acquire another pet just to reprise this chore! emoticon

Onward... a new work day. Chin up, Barbie!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEEDTOBE145 3/18/2011 9:53AM

    Love this blog. I have to remember. I can do this today! Don't need to worry about tomorrow!

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REJ7777 3/16/2011 9:21PM

    One day at a time, that's all we can work with anyway. And if we don't drag yesterday's baggage into it, or tomorrow's worries, it doesn't get overwhelming. Then we have the energy to deal with the one day we can actually do something with : today!

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SUNNYWBL 3/16/2011 12:45AM

    That's the way to get it done! Just one at a time.

About not wanting to get a young dog! There are many healthy older dogs looking for a forever home. At least you can think about it.

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CONCHA77 3/15/2011 2:59PM

    Hope you are having a wonderful day, Barb.

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JHADZHIA 3/15/2011 12:35PM

    I had missed your blog where you lost your precious Diamond! So sorry :(( That had to be one of the hardest things to do. Mom immediately gathered all of Bendix's things after he was given his final shot (at home) and put them in big trash bags and tossed them. With some frantic cleaning within hours it was like we never had a dog :(( She too, is not getting another one as she feels she and Angus are too old to look after one properly..
I have always had a dog in my life, and not having one has put a big hole in it..
I hope the rest of your Tuesday goes better..
Hugs,
Linda

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KALIGIRL 3/15/2011 10:59AM

    Love your one day @ a time attitude. Wish I could get into the 'present'.
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So sorry to hear about Diamond. I was 'fasting' from Spark @ the time. Rose had a sugar attack on Saturday, apparently not uncommon in hunting dogs (she doesn't ever want to quit), so we've added Karo syrup to the hunting gear. I have grown so fond of her these last 6 years, I would take her loss very hard.

I do have to admit however, I do not relish starting the chore you completed...
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GRYPHONQUEST 3/15/2011 10:59AM

    "One Day at a Time." There's a lot of truth in just taking things day by day - and it certainly makes it easier to get through the bad/tough times!

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SUNNY332 3/15/2011 9:49AM

    Life comes at us one day at a time and all we have to tackle is this One Day.

Great blog! Keep up the great work, one day at a time.

Sunny

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 3/15/2011 9:05AM

    Wishing you a great today!

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MSLZZY 3/15/2011 8:13AM

    Positive attitude! It's another day! Make the most of it! HUGS!

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Reprise: As good as it gets

Monday, March 14, 2011

I had a bad weekend with food. I had been holding it together pretty well for a while... but it really was a sheer effort of will. Time change, injury, change in routine, and cleaning on top of it all. You know I'm stressing when I start cleaning and organizing.

I believe that partly the news stories coming out of Japan triggered the stress cleaning. Not that it isn't "that time of year", too... but seeing that level of destruction, the stray thought occurred: what if something like that happened here? How would I feel about what would be exposed if someone had to come into my home following a disaster?

It started me thinking, this cleaning and organizing effort: it's not that different from my eating patterns. I binge eat. Less often than I used to. Granted, or rather self-justified. But... looking at how I'm going through this archeological dig of the piles of papers... I binge clean, too.

As I was going through this process yesterday, I recalled how when I last cleaned my desk at work, I felt at loose ends without my comforting piles of papers denoting projects in process. And I started to get anxious about how I would feel when my house was truly "in order". Would I feel lost? Without identity?

I have been working on affirmations related to household order for a while: "I am a person of dignity, I deserve to live in an orderly home." I visited FlyLady and polished my sink several months ago. But that initial effort has frayed around the edges. Maybe even in the middle, too.

Is this similar to the reaction "fear of success" related to weight loss? The "what do you do with it now that you've got it?" I think for me, it partly is. As with the weight and recognizing that there are going to be days that I will need to recover from... so with the orderliness - I need to learn to cut myself a break and find balance.

The journey to "as good as it gets" continues!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 3/14/2011 10:49PM

    Amazing insight! We must be sisters!

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SUNNY332 3/14/2011 4:27PM

    I would like to get to a point where I have" organized chaos". Not! I am trying for balance which seems to be an ongoing job in progress for me. Hang in there and hope we both find some balance.

I do know what you mean about something like this triggering the desire to get one's life/personal papers in order. I often think, if we had a "tornado", wonder where my bills would end up? Crazy, don't you think?

Sunny



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KALIGIRL 3/14/2011 1:50PM

    Interesting analogy.
I don't deal well with clutter and my desk @ work is just about as bad as I can stand. (Will tackle after sparking over lunch.)
I wonder if your 'piles' are really decisions unmade, or if they're symbols of parts of your life.
If they're symbols and the clutter annoys you, perhaps some filing tools would help?
There are darling colors and types @ Office Depot - a treat for the organizer?

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JHADZHIA 3/14/2011 12:44PM

    I have trouble with stacks of paper too. I have to use my bedroom as an office which leaves very little 'me' space left over, so all my business stuff stacks up and when I start having trouble finding things I need then my computer desk goes from not being able to see the glass under it to actually having space to put things on. Some of it is procrastination as I usually have lots of time to get things done. I always eat healthy meals, but lately I have been binge snacking on bad things. Part of the stressers for me is not recovering as fast as I expected, and not being as mentally fit as I once was. I notice a big difference when trying to remember things and trying to play bridge..If I ever am able to solve the insomnia problem, I am sure that would go a long way to help with this..
I may be on maintenance, but I still have a lot work to do as well. You are not in it alone..

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FITFABJENN 3/14/2011 12:35PM

    Yes, "what happens next" is a somewhat scary question. I've actually lost a significant amount of weight twice before in my life, but both times the sigh of relief of achieving my goal was quickly followed by a slip back into old habits, and subsequent weight gain.

I think having a supportive Spark community might just be the difference between then and now, though. Even DH said that I seem so much different this time. Perhaps what happens next is that we embrace an active, healthy lifestyle that allows us to take on new challenges we could not do before. That's a future I can get behind.

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DEBRITA01 3/14/2011 11:06AM

    It's interesting how those impulsive traits carry over into other areas of our lives...not just the eating. Good luck getting things in order...and maintaining (that is always the hardest for me).

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 3/14/2011 9:32AM

    The last paragraph spoke to me. It's the "what happens next" part that always scares me. Because almost always, it's maintenance. Whether it be related to weight loss, a clean desk/house, or whatever. Getting there is the interesting and sometimes challenging part. Staying there? Well, that's where the real challenge comes in for me.

Good job on getting your house in order.

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DRB13_1 3/14/2011 8:58AM

    keep making progress! emoticon Weight and the condition of our homes are definitely related. My professional organizer makes an important point: Clutter is the result of postponed decisions.
Remember the "handle ezch piece of paper once" mantra. Keep a trash can handy, and if you aren't using it or don't love it - toss it. Open mail over the trash can - dump all the junk so it doesn't have a chance to make it to "a pile."
To encourage you - (for me, at least) having some clean, cleared space is calming and sparks creativity. I hear you when you say clearing your desk produces anxiety, but look at it a different way - instead of "projects in progress" have that "inbox - outbox" system to show how much you have COMPLETED. Think of it as only getting paid once it is done. Maybe that will be motivating.
Whenever what we are doing is not working for us, time to make changes.
"It's not the strong or intelligent that survive, but the most adaptable." -Charles Darwin
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DAISY443 3/14/2011 8:17AM

    I also binge clean. I think you may be on to something. This is a fight against being a perfectionist and being impelled to clean incessantly! Not going to happen to me again! Been there, done that! As long as it is clutter and not germy, I can deal. Good luck with your search for balance!

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REJ7777 3/14/2011 8:00AM

    I can relate. We've got so much in common in our struggles. Perfectionism among other things. I wonder if getting closer to goal is part of what's been causing my binging these last few days. I've gained 12 lbs. There's something going on, but I'm not sure what it is. I'm losing my focus. It's scary. I have to find balance too.

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HOT4FITNESS 3/14/2011 7:57AM

    Today is a new day in your journey, so you can move forward--in a clean house!! Woohoo!!!

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Procrastination, clutter, decision making, and identity

Sunday, March 13, 2011

My brother refers to the piles of clutter that begin building up almost at once after a thorough cleaning and organizing effort as "decisions not made". My home is full of such piles of "decisions not made". I'll go through the mail, not be ready to immediately reject something, or have the energy to "deal with it", and it goes into a pile. Or I'll pay bills, write the pertinent payment details on them, and needing to them in case of dispute... into another pile they go. And so on.

Oh, I've read the material about how to be organized: only handle each piece of paper once. File in time-boxed periods.

But knowing what to do and doing it are two different things. I don't particularly enjoy this kind of thing. My desk at work is only kept in half-way order about three or four times a year, in those slow bits between development cycles.

Periodically I make a big push at "The Paper Chase". Usually around this time of year. Yesterday I was dragging my feet about starting it. Today I'm working at it. Building consistency is something I need to work at in this area.

One day at a time, in this as in with other things, right? Don't try to take on the world all at once. But don't avoid it, either.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRENDA1995 3/14/2011 1:13PM

    Decisions not made, that is so true! Thank you for that point of view. I think it will help me with some of my clutter.

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REJ7777 3/13/2011 10:09PM

    I can sure relate to the challenge. Clutter is, and has always been, a big problem for me. emoticon

Congratulations on "working on it". emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 3/13/2011 5:51PM

    Paper work is awful---and its getting worse! ----But you are sorting it----- Life is full of paper work----- Lynda

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KALIGIRL 3/13/2011 3:43PM

    Love the "decisions not made;
My new year's resolution (for the last 5 years) has been to deal with mail as it comes in. Work (and home life) has been hectic until this weekend and I took Saturday morning as an opportunity to 'find' my piles.
(I was one of those kids who put her clothes under the bed instead of in the hamper - out of sight...so did the same before the family arrived for Christmas)
It was a little sad to see the opportunities I missed, but rewarding to write my Christmas thank-yous, respond to wedding invitations, and send checks for retreats and my girlfriend's reunion.
Moving my desk and favorite notecards to the (remodeled) kitchen is working (for me). Love being in the heart of the house.

Hope you find what works for you to make those decisions.
Namaste my friend.

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MNTWINSGAL 3/13/2011 2:57PM

    I'm extremely organized at work, and by the way my desk looks there one would assume my house was neat as a pin. Not so much though.....even though I have filing systems in place, the paper mess has taken over my writing desk, my computer desk, and my kitchen counter. A couple of months ago when I learned I was having company with only minutes to spare, I grabbed a box and put a ton of paper in there. Yep, still there....waiting for me to go through it.

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DAISY443 3/13/2011 2:20PM

    A clean desk is the sign of a messy mind! That's my tenet and I'm skickin' to it! But, good luck with your endeavors!

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MSLZZY 3/13/2011 2:14PM

    Excellent advice-sounds a lot like me!

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DEBRITA01 3/13/2011 1:43PM

    Did I write this blog? LOL This is SO me! "Decisions not made"...I like that...and, you have a wise brother. Another good post, Barb...

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SUNNY332 3/13/2011 1:18PM

    "decisions not made". Wow - I can identify with this one.

Thanks for a great post.

Sunny

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JANRTEACH 3/13/2011 12:42PM

    I'm with you!!! Thanks for the reminder.

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And the car is back in my garage

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I played with the toys on the way back to get the car. By walking through parks and on the bike trails, I shaved the distance to 5.7 miles, which I covered in 93:35 (subtracting two potty breaks). I have better stats this morning because I used my Christmas present (a GPS) to track distance... across parking lots and parks and all, in pedestrian mode. Like I said, I played with the toys.

The other toy was my MP3 player. The tunes from an ABBA album got me all the way to the high school, and Andre Rieu got me the rest of the way to work.

In the frigid morning (it was about freezing), I noticed others out on the trails. I walked beside a golf course, through two neighborhood parks, past the swimming pool, the Children's Zoo, the community rose garden, through the sunken gardens, past the Basketball Tournament busses parked at a high school, and on to the downtown garage where I park.

Walking helps me fall in love with my local community all over again. Those out taking their air and exercise have smiles for one another and a "good morning". And of course, the endorphins of being in motion myself don't hurt the process a bit.

The car was sitting there waiting for me, and I brought it on home. Hope everyone else has a great Saturday, too.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAISY443 3/13/2011 5:39AM

    I enjoy your walks as though I am with you. Please keep on sharing!

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SUNNY1432 3/12/2011 9:59PM

    sounds like a wonderful morning walk!! emoticon I'm hoping for sunshine for you tomorrow. emoticon

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MSLZZY 3/12/2011 7:48PM

    Nice to know the weather seems to be moderating for now! HUGS!

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TURTLETALK 3/12/2011 2:13PM

    What a lovely start to the weekend!

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MOMOF2TONI 3/12/2011 1:06PM

    I love ABBA! The walk sounds so nice. Wishing you a great weekend.

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 3/12/2011 12:09PM

    What a nice way to start your weekend. I didn't know a GPS system could work for pedestrians. I may have to get mine out and play with it, too. When I'm trying to set up a path to walk, I'll often times get in the car and drive it to check out the distance. GPS makes more sense.

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SUNNY332 3/12/2011 12:04PM

    I agree with you and Sharon on Abba.

Sounds like a great morning walk. I have a head cold so have had problems sleeping. I feel like the "walking dead" right now so hoping I get some sleep tonight.

Hugs, Sunny



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MNTWINSGAL 3/12/2011 12:01PM

    Sounds like a great morning! Here the roads and walkways are still covered in snow and ice and the wind is whipping around.....I think I'd like to trade with you, please!

And who wouldn't be motivated by listening to ABBA? Honestly, I can't not start dancing when I hear "Dancing Queen." In fact, I've set it to my cell phone ring tone.

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CHRYS13 3/12/2011 11:46AM

    What an inspiration and motivator you are!!!

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A long walk home

Friday, March 11, 2011

It was such a nice day, I decided I would leave the car in the downtown garage and walk home tonight. Tomorrow I'll reverse the trip to go pick it up. I live 6.64 miles from work, and this is a very friendly town for pedestrians. At least the neighborhoods I had to walk through are... through the college dwelling apartment area I used to live in before I got married back in my student days... on through some "church row" kinds of neighborhoods, and a broad tree-lined boulevard where lots of others were out and about running their dogs or strolling their kids or riding their bikes.

Getting closer to my own neighborhood, I walked across a small church-college campus, then through a park to my own little house. People are clearly glad to see Spring coming so close. Yesterday as I cleaned up the yard (about half done)... I could see the daffodils starting to shoot up their green fingers. You have to love the season of rebirth.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNY332 3/12/2011 11:33AM

    How wonderful! Glad you enjoyed your walk.

Sunny

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 3/12/2011 10:37AM

    Spring is such an uplifting time of year. I find myself with new hope and new enthusiasm. Hopefully that will translate over to my weight loss efforts.

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BUGGYS 3/12/2011 10:02AM

    I love spring too and was able to get my grandkids outdoors for some much needed play...we walked, we noticed some crocuses and robins...tis the season of renewal! emoticon emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 3/12/2011 9:22AM

    Good way to get yer fitness in!!! We just have old winter up here still----- Good for yu girl!

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FITFABJENN 3/12/2011 9:22AM

    Kudos for taking advantage of the nice weather and getting in some exercise, too!

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MEDDYPEDDY 3/12/2011 9:05AM

    There is still a lot of snow left but the sun is doing a good job every day... I canīt wait! Nice walk!

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CONCHA77 3/12/2011 8:51AM

    Sounds like a great day. We won't be seeing signs of Spring for another couple of weeks up here. I love Spring! emoticon
Enjoy your walk back. Happy Saturday.

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MSLZZY 3/12/2011 7:58AM

    Excellent idea! HUGS and here's to spring!

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DEBRITA01 3/12/2011 6:42AM

    emoticonI think everyone will welcome the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors. That was a good walk...and you get to do it again today! Enjoy it...

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KASEYCOFF 3/12/2011 4:27AM

    Good way to get in a nice walk!

Daffodils: they're out here. A veritable host, a crowd of daffodils, lol...
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(No daffodils on the emoticons!)

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DAISY443 3/12/2011 4:09AM

    Ahhh, the amazing thing about your walk was that you were aware-aware of the people around you, the beauty of the landscape. So much better than mindless walking! Hugs!

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MNTWINSGAL 3/12/2011 1:16AM

    Sounds like a great walk, Barb. Congrats on making such a healthy choice!

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JHADZHIA 3/11/2011 11:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Fantastic! Good for you!
Watching the snow swirling around the window, I can see spring is a long way off for us..

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MOMOF2TONI 3/11/2011 10:13PM

    Great job!! emoticon

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REJ7777 3/11/2011 9:38PM

    emoticon I think we're all looking forward to Spring, and getting back outdoors more. Then again, we have to make the decision to actually get out there! Congratulations on your smart choice! emoticon

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