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No matter what

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Life is full of "stuff"... and a lot of it has tumbled into my world of late. But I'm not unique. Everybody's life has "stuff". We all have work stress (or sometimes out of work stress). Every one of us at some point or another will lose a loved one. Or a pet. No one is immune from having an accident or injury. I have yet to meet a human being who never embarrassed him or herself. We all have relationship issues from time to time, being human.

This is the basic, laid-back Barb attitude, the "helper" personality type. Cut everybody else some slack. But the risk of the helper personality type is putting the needs of everyone else ahead of yourself. Eventually that leads to an internal build-up of unmet needs... burnout or outburst is the likely outcome.

Or, in the case of the compulsive eater, not wanting to have the outburst... an eating binge. Weekends are my weakest time... no structure of work day to keep me on track. Rest days from my training plan are also weak times.

This weekend, this is not going to happen. If I have needs, I will talk about them (or write about them), I will not eat over them. I will not suppress them, or pretend I do not have them! I will cry if I need to. I will walk it off, if I need to. But I will live it. For me. I will reward myself. I will put my own oxygen mask on!

No matter what.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LJCANNON 3/20/2011 9:03AM

    A hard lesson learned!! For a Caregiver it is often the hardest thing we have to learn is to put on our own oxygen mask FIRST!! Thanks for reminding us how important it is to do just that!
emoticon emoticon

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MSLZZY 3/20/2011 7:56AM

    Positive attitude! HUGS!

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GETN2GOAL 3/19/2011 10:24PM

    Great blog. It is so true and I can totally identify with it. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonfor sharing.

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SARANAM1 3/19/2011 8:58PM

    Go Barb Go! You're awesome, you know it? and I'm proud to know you. Every time I see a picture of a little less you I see a wonderful woman in the making.


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LEANJEAN6 3/19/2011 5:55PM

    You are so right --- Scream for help if you feel like indulging--Blogging helps too---- I hope you have a good weekend--Yu sure deserve it-Lynda

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BUGGYS 3/19/2011 5:09PM

    I can relate to weekends being tough...without the structure of the week, I find myself just grabbing food here and there. Lately, however, if I feel the urge to binge I get outside and take a walk and it has helped me tremendously. I am definitely a helper type but have learned to answer to ME first and then to others. Your blogs always hit home, Barb...thank you!

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FITFABJENN 3/19/2011 4:11PM

    Good for you! You deserve to put yourself first (at least some of the time) and take good care of yourself. Way to go!

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REJ7777 3/19/2011 11:45AM

    emoticon If we don't take care of ourselves, we won't be available for anyone else either. Putting on our own oxygen mask is vital! emoticon emoticon

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THIAGRAM 3/19/2011 11:24AM

  This sounds like what I should do every day! Thanks!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/19/2011 11:25:09 AM

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777GRACE 3/19/2011 11:06AM

    Impressive, I am proud of you, you are worth it.
And I think I have the same personality but I never heard it expressed that way.
Only you can take care of you!!! Me too!!

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 3/19/2011 10:29AM

    Good for you, Barb! If we helper types don't take care of ourselves, the time will come when we won't be able to help others, either. I can relate to your statement about weekends not having the structure of your normal work day. That is exactly why I took a part-time job again -- to get some structure back in my life. I'll be struggling this weekend too, but perhaps because of your blog, I'll think what can I do instead of eating something I shouldn't. Wishing you a wonderfully successful weekend!

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CONCHA77 3/19/2011 10:28AM

    Yep, We are here for you. "Rant" if need be.

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MARIASCHOICE 3/19/2011 9:58AM


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SUNNY332 3/19/2011 9:54AM

    Hang in there. I will be around most of the weekend so know "I'v got your back".

Hugs, Sunny

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SAMI199 3/19/2011 9:52AM

    Thanks for the wise words & hang in there-seems to be plenty of "Stuff" going around hese days! Blah!!!!


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JHADZHIA 3/19/2011 9:20AM

    You can do this! Enjoy your 'me' weekend!

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ROCKLAND2010 3/19/2011 8:35AM

    Very motivating! Your words of encouragement to yourself will help all of us.

Thank you!


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HOT4FITNESS 3/19/2011 8:32AM

    emoticon No matter what!

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CHRYS13 3/19/2011 8:23AM

    Wonderful! And, I must say, "me, too"!! emoticon

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SULFABABY 3/19/2011 8:12AM

    You have great determination! No more excuses-- for you or for anyone else in your life. Best wishes to you. :)

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DAISY443 3/19/2011 8:11AM

    Good for you! Remember that's what Spark friends are for, to listen, to make suggestions (some better than others) and to care! Hugs!

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My generation is showing...

Friday, March 18, 2011

I have recently walked home from work. Once last Friday, once last night. It is 6.2 miles from the office to the house. This brought back memories of walking home from school. Remember when you were a kid? This applies to us over-50's mainly!

1. The family had one car. Dad took it to work, unless Mom needed it for something special, in which case he took the bus.

2. There were no school buses in our town, except for field trips. You got there by walking, and only got a ride if somebody's mom had the car for the day... even then only if it was really cold or wet outside!

3. We lived anywhere from six blocks to two miles from a given school, depending on whether we're talking elementary (six blocks), Junior High (mile and a half), or High School (2 miles).

4. We got where we needed to go by walking!

5. Our moms really believed that kids should play outside whenever possible.

Did we think about fitness or consciously exercise? Not unless you were going out for an athletic team. BUT... our lives made us fit! We were clocking two miles a day even in elementary school, because we walked home for lunch. In high school, until the driving kicked in... it was four miles a day.

Several thoughts occurred to me as I walked last night (besides enjoying my MP3 tunes)...

As a kid, the walk to and from school was just a chore. As I got older I started to appreciate more what I was walking past. First, I was walking past people's homes. Some have lovely gardens or plants, which give delight as the seasons change. The pride the owners have in their little places of refuge shows. I first started noticing this in my high school years.

This week, I chose to walk through some residential neighborhoods and across some parks as well as making use of our town's extensive hiker/biker trails. This is a great town for walking. I noticed that pride in ownership in the neighborhoods. I noticed kids out riding bikes or playing in yards. I noticed I was not alone in using human powered means of transportation... some people regularly bike to work.

My walk may be a little longer than others. It may take quite a bit of time, which I don't have every day. An hour and a half to walk home isn't practical for most people, but there are a lot of commuters in this country who have a drive nearly that long! When I walk, I am living in the now. I am seeing real life. I am a part of my community.

And it doesn't get a whole lot better than that.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 3/20/2011 7:27AM

    Your blog brought back memories of walking to school as a kid. I was fit and healthy even though I never thought of *exercise*. It was built into my life. I can't say I enjoyed or appreciated walking back then though. It isn't until the last few years that I've started enjoying looking around me and actually enjoying my walks in the city. I also discovered I loved hiking in nature. As we grow older and evolve, our tastes change too. I see the beauty in a child so much more now than I ever did when I was younger. emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/20/2011 7:28:41 AM

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MNTWINSGAL 3/18/2011 11:41PM

    Yeah, Barb, you described my childhood to a T. Except that my mom never learned to drive, so my dad ALWAYS had the car and my mom and I took the bus if we were going shopping or something. I did walk to school, home for lunch, back to school, and back home every day. Once in a blue moon a parent would give us a ride. We all had a lunch box, and if it was below zero out we would bring our lunches and sit at our desksto eat, a special treat! The schools didn't even have lunchrooms until we got to the Junior High level. So each kid had only one lunchbox for their entire school career. Mine was best friend had the red Scottish plaid one. I still have my (antique) metal Lassie lunchbox on display above my kitchen cupboards. And how true about the school buses. Only for field trips!

Thanks for the trip down memory lane - and congrats on all the great walking you are getting in!

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TURTLETALK 3/18/2011 9:13PM

    I remember our big treat of the week was popcorn and homemade milkshakes while we watched "The Wonderful World of Disney" at grandma's house because she had a color tv.

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KAKIPOPUP 3/18/2011 4:58PM

    We walked all over and went on "bike hikes" - so much freedom in those days - even in the city -

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SUNNY332 3/18/2011 4:45PM

    Thanks for the "walk" down memory lane.

Hugs, Sunny

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BUGGYS 3/18/2011 2:23PM

    As a kid I remember walking to the "Popcorn Stand" was about 2 miles from my house and my three siblings and various neighborhood kids were give 10c each and we would walk there and get our penny candy and walk home...we were in heaven!!! It's too bad we can't even let our kids walk around the block by themselves anymore! :( I have been getting out more and more to do my's glorious!

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DEBRITA01 3/18/2011 2:10PM

    Thanks for the trip down memory lane....Happy Walking! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KALIGIRL 3/18/2011 1:53PM

    You are SO a part of your community!
emoticonfor not only sharing your experience, but making our wonderful city come alive for others.
May you find other opportunities to emoticon soon.

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 3/18/2011 10:08AM

    Oh, those were the days! Sometimes, progress isn't necessarily progress. I am looking forward to being able to walk again soon. Like you, when I'm walking, I'm living in the present -- observing and enjoying my surroundings. As always, another good blog!

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FITFABJENN 3/18/2011 10:01AM

    Yes, when I was young we walked or biked everywhere and were constantly outside. And there was not nearly as much childhood obesity either. Not a coincidence...

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NEEDTOBE145 3/18/2011 9:52AM

    Ahh yes, the good old days. I didn't walk to elementary school, but we had to walk to high school and no one though anything bad would happen to us! It was only a mile each way. Now, when I visit my Mom, I always walk to the high school and further! We hated having to walk to school but we weren't over weight either! One sad thing though, there were very little sports available to girls.

Also, my mom's famous words were, "Go outside and play!"

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CONCHA77 3/18/2011 8:55AM

    Yep, Those were the days. Great memories.
That's a long way for your walk, Barb. emoticon

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ROCKLAND2010 3/18/2011 8:11AM

    Thanks for sharing the memories. I love walking. Times have changed!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHARON2014 3/18/2011 8:04AM

    What a great way to get your exercise, reduce stress and reminisce! I walked about 6 blocks in elementary school through neighborhoods I would not drive through today! We moved to the 'burbs and I did have to take the bus. We played out at night, though -- kick the can, hide 'n seek, spin the bottle (whoops! emoticon) -- but you know what? In the summer I would get a book and head for a shadey spot and just read! But my weight gain really didn't start till I was married and then it came on slowly - and that's exactly how it's going off (as you well know)! You are an inspiration to me, keep up the healthy habits!! emoticon

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MSLZZY 3/18/2011 7:57AM

    Enjoy the nice weather and the surroundings-a good sign of spring! HUGS!

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CAROLCRC 3/18/2011 7:53AM

    And when we got a bit bigger we bicycled everywhere. Not uncommon to ride 3-5 miles to a friend's house when in late elementary or Jr High.

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ERIN4771 3/18/2011 7:45AM

    this reminded me of when i was in grade school and walked to piano lessons afterwards a few days a week....too funny! i also remember playing outside, riding my bike everywhere, and only coming in at night when it got too dark too see anything! thanks for putting a smile on my face! enjoy your walks!

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FCARMICH 3/18/2011 7:44AM


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DAISY443 3/18/2011 7:44AM

    Ahh, I remember it well. My walk was about 30 blocks and never thought much about it except when the temp was below freezing. Also, lots of bike riding! Good for you for taking the time to enjoy!

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Sunshine and wind in your face

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Yesterday on one of my break walks from work I passed a group of kids, playing on the capitol lawn. Some were running down the gentle slope, just for the joy of the moving. One little girl was rolling down it, "log" style. She was grinning with sheer joy. I smiled and continued my walk with a lift in my spirit.

After work, I left the house in the warm late afternoon sunshine and hiked around a nearby park. Part of my walk was across the top of an earthen dam that forms a small lake. On that dam top the wind is at its strongest, and it was a breezy day, for sure. Any joking comments about "if you lose any more, you'll blow away" took on a near-literal meaning and I almost giggled thinking of them... except I was leaning into the wind to stay on the ground!

There is something so invigorating about facing the wind. And it occurred to me: this is why!

I keep moving so I can have moments like these. Here's to the moments of now!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 3/17/2011 10:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITFABJENN 3/17/2011 10:26AM

    I love your blog posts so much. Thanks for sharing your giggly moment with us.


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SUNNY332 3/17/2011 9:38AM

    Sounds like a great day...

I was raised in Kansas and being skinny, I also got teased about the possiblity of getting blown away on a windy day (which was every day).

Too funny!


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CONCHA77 3/17/2011 9:09AM

    Sounds great. I can't wait til it's warm enough and not so muddy where I can enjoy a nice walk too. I am happy that you take advantage of that. Enjoy.

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DAISY443 3/17/2011 8:05AM

    These are the moments to remember. Thanks for sharing them so vividly!

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HOT4FITNESS 3/17/2011 7:58AM

    And here's to many more moments like these!!!

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Motivation: the battle of "why"

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Yes, the title says it - the battle of "why"!

I guess that's it: why maintenance can be so difficult. It is sometimes a struggle to even remember WHY I'm doing this. When self-pity, fear and anxiety creep in... when comparison to others and the competition factor blind sides me... and when I want to give more to other areas of my life and think I can steal it from taking care of the business of self-nurture... I am at risk of losing sight of why it's important.

So, let's review: WHY is it important to ME?

1. Because if I want to give more to those other areas of my life... I'd better be healthy enough to do so. Taking care of my health is not taking away from the rest of life's activities, it is supporting everything I do. "Put on your own oxygen mask first, THEN help others."

2. Nursing hurt feelings over comments made by others is not going to make them go away. Eating to mask them only lets me be in denial about the feelings, it doesn't heal the feelings. Work on real healing. That starts with honesty to myself. Forgiveness and communication follow.

3. Let's talk about performance anxiety, because that is an element in this most recent lapse. I had this lofty performance goal for the half marathon, not set by me, but I bought into it. It looks at this point in training like it won't be in my reach. I have to admit I'm afraid of letting someone else down. That's really what it is.

Be proud of being able to go the distance, let's not talk about speed... and let's not throw road blocks in the way of doing my best by self-sabotage!

This is who I am now. I am not that hide-in-a-cave slouch-on-the-couch person. I am strong. I am capable.

WHY? Because I can. Because I must. Because it is a part of me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAJOYWK 3/19/2011 7:56AM

    Barb-you have come so far & done so well-just hearing that you have questions
along the way helps the rest of us to continue the journey.Especially knowing
you find a way to make it through when the going is hard.Thank you for sharing.-Linda

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REJ7777 3/16/2011 9:15PM

    You seem to have a good handle on "why" you're doing this, and that's crucial! I learn a lot from your blogs. I think that after my heart attack, the "why" was very evident. Then there was my son's wedding. But the "why" just isn't as clear anymore. I need to re-evaluate my "why".

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SUNNYWBL 3/16/2011 7:07PM

    Just being willing to try the event is reason enough to do it! If you did the training and are willing to walk when you need to and run when you can! You will survive, you will finish! Finishing is a great achievement and who could be dissappointed with that?

Do it on your own and if someone is faster or slower let them move along at their own pace. If they make it all about them, they are are not being supportive to you.

That said, If you agreed to go along at someone's slower pace, then honor that. But, the reverse must be true also.

I hope this makes sense to you and good luck in the journey!

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BOBF15 3/16/2011 4:46PM

    First blog I read on this new team. Good job too, I have studied health for most of my life, and I break health into 3 tri-mesters. Each tri-mester is 25 years approximately. The first 25 is great, we are growing, improving and getting stronger. Then we hit our biological peak about 25, (yep, over the hill is 25 not 30) Then we slowly decline, but are in pretty good shape, then the 50's hit and all the minor problems can start to become major problems if not seriously dealt with.

Yes, there are people who do exceptional things in their later years, but they are the exception and make an extraordinary commitment. Each decade after 30 or so we lose about 10% of our hormones, muscle mass, etc. We basically are degenerating and it accelerates after 50.

So, what, you did not reach a goal, but the whole purpose is quality of life and that you seem to have a firm grasp on. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DAISY443 3/16/2011 12:16PM

    Do I need to come over and kick some feeling hurting a**? Let me know!
You know the "Why". Good for you!

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DRB13_1 3/16/2011 12:03PM

    Release all expectations for the half marathon and allow yourself to enjoy the experience, the fact that you can, that you will finish, that it's more than you could have imagined in a previous time of your life... celebrate how far you have come! emoticon

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LJCANNON 3/16/2011 10:55AM

    emoticonYes You are worth it and the Turtles NEED you, that is another "Why" for your Journey.
emoticonIf anyone hurts your feelings or makes you feel that you let them down the Turtle Herd will DEAL with them!!
And it won't be purty!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MSLZZY 3/16/2011 9:54AM

    Ahh, the ultimate people-pleaser! The competitive edge-I know that feeling well. Do
I disappoint others or do I disappoint myself? I can so relate. If I am not healthy,
what good is it to any one but me? Time for me to focus again on what this journey is
to ME. Sounds like you and I are true sisters! Bless your heart for sharing the "why"
of the hourney! HUSG!

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LOVE_2_LAUGH 3/16/2011 9:38AM

    I think it all boils down to one important thing: take care of yourself. Whether it be physical, mental, social, religious -- if we take complete care of ourselves, everything else will fall into place or work itself out. Another good blog, Barb - thanks!

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BUGGYS 3/16/2011 9:34AM

    Being fit, and healthy and strong is about living your life to the fullest! emoticon

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FITFABJENN 3/16/2011 9:34AM

    I think it's fabulous that you reflected on the reasons you are on this journey and wrote them down. Thank you for sharing.

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SUNNY332 3/16/2011 9:31AM

    Why - Because you are so very worth all the efforts.

Hugs, Sunny

(Tell me who hurt your feelings and I will beat them silly.)

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DEBRITA01 3/16/2011 8:59AM

    emoticonStay strong! emoticon

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HOT4FITNESS 3/16/2011 8:53AM

    Yes, time to forgive yourself and push forward. We are out to finish the half marathon, not win it! The finish will great and rewarding. We are not out to prove we can do it any amount of time, but to prove to ourselves, we can do anything we putour minds too. Let's just walk and enjoy!!! You are so worth it!! Keep up the good work!!

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GRNBTL 3/16/2011 8:07AM

  Keep being strong!

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One day - the pep talk

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Today. emoticon Each day is really day one. I remind myself of this each time I have a rough patch.

emoticon "I can't do this forever, I'm so tired of it!"
emoticon "Can you do it today?"

Just today. No questions for tomorrow. Just today.

Yesterday I was back on track with the food. And after work last night, I tackled the second half of the back yard: cleaning up the winter remains of having had a dog. In some ways this is a sad chore. Knowing there won't be more piles to scoop. It's both a relief and a sadness. emoticon But, no, I'm not going to go out and acquire another pet just to reprise this chore! emoticon

Onward... a new work day. Chin up, Barbie!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEEDTOBE145 3/18/2011 9:53AM

    Love this blog. I have to remember. I can do this today! Don't need to worry about tomorrow!

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REJ7777 3/16/2011 9:21PM

    One day at a time, that's all we can work with anyway. And if we don't drag yesterday's baggage into it, or tomorrow's worries, it doesn't get overwhelming. Then we have the energy to deal with the one day we can actually do something with : today!

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SUNNYWBL 3/16/2011 12:45AM

    That's the way to get it done! Just one at a time.

About not wanting to get a young dog! There are many healthy older dogs looking for a forever home. At least you can think about it.

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CONCHA77 3/15/2011 2:59PM

    Hope you are having a wonderful day, Barb.

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JHADZHIA 3/15/2011 12:35PM

    I had missed your blog where you lost your precious Diamond! So sorry :(( That had to be one of the hardest things to do. Mom immediately gathered all of Bendix's things after he was given his final shot (at home) and put them in big trash bags and tossed them. With some frantic cleaning within hours it was like we never had a dog :(( She too, is not getting another one as she feels she and Angus are too old to look after one properly..
I have always had a dog in my life, and not having one has put a big hole in it..
I hope the rest of your Tuesday goes better..

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KALIGIRL 3/15/2011 10:59AM

    Love your one day @ a time attitude. Wish I could get into the 'present'.
So sorry to hear about Diamond. I was 'fasting' from Spark @ the time. Rose had a sugar attack on Saturday, apparently not uncommon in hunting dogs (she doesn't ever want to quit), so we've added Karo syrup to the hunting gear. I have grown so fond of her these last 6 years, I would take her loss very hard.

I do have to admit however, I do not relish starting the chore you completed...

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GRYPHONQUEST 3/15/2011 10:59AM

    "One Day at a Time." There's a lot of truth in just taking things day by day - and it certainly makes it easier to get through the bad/tough times!

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SUNNY332 3/15/2011 9:49AM

    Life comes at us one day at a time and all we have to tackle is this One Day.

Great blog! Keep up the great work, one day at a time.


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LOVE_2_LAUGH 3/15/2011 9:05AM

    Wishing you a great today!

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MSLZZY 3/15/2011 8:13AM

    Positive attitude! It's another day! Make the most of it! HUGS!

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