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Melting the snowball

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

So I got off my butt and out for a walk during my lunch hour. It was a little chilly when I started. The river and ponds are still beyond their banks.



While walking, I couldn't help but notice the trees. Since there are no leaves yet, I was checking out the bark. Some of them were rather amazing.



This one looked rather shaggy!



And this one had these amazing swirling patterns on it.



Then I spied this old guy and couldn't wait to get a little closer.



He was rather amazing and I bet he has some fantastic stories to tell. I have the feeling he was around before the park, the cars and most, if not all of us.



On my way back to my car I couldn't help notice this gentleman. Ahh, swinging the walking stick, bright red feather in his hat, such swagger and style all his own. I bet he has about as many stories as that tree!

So glad I decided to quit rolling the snowball uphill and to do something to move me back in the right direction. I bet the trees and the styling gentlemen are nodding in approval - I know that girl I talked about earlier is happy.

Enjoy your day everyone!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVEN2GO2 4/21/2014 7:51PM

    GREAT walk and enjoying your environment must of made it peaceful!

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LIONSMAMA 4/21/2014 5:41PM

    I love your image of the snowball - how appropriate! And I love the joy you took in your walk today - looking around, excited to see what you can see - great job!

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 4/17/2014 1:11PM

    Glad you got out and enjoyed the world around us. It always makes me feel so much better when I get out for my walk.

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NHES220 4/16/2014 2:40PM

    Glad you got out for that walk! That snowball doesn't stand a chance, I see it melting already!

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snowballs

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

I'm not talking the kind made out of the white fluffy stuff - I'm talking the kind made up of an accumulation of other stuff. You know the kind!

So the past couple weeks of spring, I have been making snowballs. Here's how it went:

Exercise? I can't get to the gym, I don't have enough time today. I will walk on the treadmill at home later. Later comes, I don't want to walk on the treadmill, I want to put on my jammies and watch tv. It's ok to take a day off. I will get back on track tomorrow. Permission granted.

Tomorrow: it's cold outside and raining, no walk for lunch. I will go to the gym after work. Oh wait, there is a sale at some store, I should go check out the sale. I will walk on the treadmill. It's late, I don't want to walk on the treadmill. I walked a little at the store, I know hardly a cardio workout, but I was moving. I will get back on track tomorrow. Permission granted.

Tomorrow: Still cold outside, no walk for lunch. Everyone is ordering out from the local pizza place. I think I will join them. I could get a veggie pizza. Nah, I'll just get my favorite with ham, mushrooms, onions and pepperoni. I will work out extra hard at the gym tonight. Phone rings, friends want to meet for dinner. Yep, I'm in. I will eat healthy and walk on the treadmill later. Looking at the menu, oooooohhhhh they have a french dip with onions. Love those. OK, get that, just don't eat the fries. Ok, well maybe a couple fries. After hanging out a little too long, drinking a couple diet sodas I really don't feel like getting on that treadmill. It's ok. I've been doing so good. I know what I need to do. I will do it tomorrow.

Tomorrow: Busy day at work, not time for a walk at lunch, stuck behind desk most of the day - order out and eat at desk. Friend is in hospital, so after work head that way to visit. After visit, stop by some restaurant for food to go. Feeling emotional and sad. Load up on comfort food. Favorite shows are on tv tonight, no walk on treadmill, no walk period. Fitbit reads 3,200 for the day? That can't be right. Oh well, I will get busy tomorrow. I know what I need to do.

And the days roll on, the excuses roll on and the snowball rolls on getting bigger and bigger! Now I have this giant snowball big enough to be the base of a snowman!!! Not to mention while building that snowball, my pants are starting to feel a little snug. Guilt and shame starts to creep in. Oh ya, and that gremlin that says "You will NEVER be able to do this, it is just to hard" starts chanting negative thoughts in my head.

This is where I quit. WAIT!!!! I promised myself I was not going to quit, no matter what. Stop Barb!!!!

Remember that girl who was just beginning to blossom? The one you were becoming that you really liked? She is going to get buried under that snowball!

No more excuses. It's spring. It's time for that snowball to melt! It's ok to take a break. It's not ok to quit. You are on the verge of quitting. Pack the gym bag and put it in the car. Go out for a walk during lunch hour. I bet you may find that girl there.

The tv, your friends, the couch - they will wait for her because they like her too!

OK, it's a deal. Walking during lunch hour!!! Sometimes you just gotta see it in the blog or on paper or wherever to make it real. See ya - the park is waiting!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNEMARIA6 4/16/2014 11:53AM

    Yes my snowball got larger this last four days, away from home grand parenting. too little sleep and too many snacks so as quitting is not an option I am back at it! We can do it Barb! emoticon

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NHES220 4/16/2014 11:48AM

    Good for you Barb! I know you will no get buried under the avalanche! You can do this! No more excuses!

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SARIANEC 4/16/2014 11:30AM

    I know the feeling and great analogy!

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SPATTEN2001 4/16/2014 11:21AM

    Loved your blog today .... this happens to me a lot!!! Not just with exercise but other aspects of my denial of a new 'healthier' in all aspects me! Thanks for sharing!

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Where its at........

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

April is half gone - and I am not halfway towards reaching my goal - in fact I think I am further from it than when April started. April has been a huge challenge.

I am emotionally tired. I have not gotten in my workouts. In fact, I don't know that I have logged ANY fitness minutes - although I do know I did do some workouts and walked on the treadmill. My usually supportive workout buddy is having health issues and has not been working out. A dear friend is in the hospital and struggling. My daughter is still mending from her surgery. My job has been more demanding than normal. My life has been more demanding than normal.

My last weekend was filled with eating challenges and I just put on my blinders and ate away. I did manage to get on the hotel treadmill and walk 4 miles one day - but that was it.

I think tonight after visiting my friend in the hospital I am going to go home, put my feet up and pamper myself somehow. I need a break. I need to fan the spark because it is getting dim.

Sometimes it isn't all about dragging myself to the gym and my physical self. Sometimes I need an emotional massage!!! Tonight's the night!

Time to rekindle the spark!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJEFFERSON23 4/16/2014 11:12AM

  You are right, it is a challenge, but not a defeat!
Just think, you may not have even walked on the treadmill at all! Just start from right now!
emoticon

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POSITIVEHOPE 4/15/2014 5:53PM

    You definitely need to comfort yourself. My favorite is the couch, a polar fleece, the dog and a movie. I snuggle in and know that time is just for me.

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 4/15/2014 1:02PM

    Hugs are coming your way. You need a rest and a little you time. Take care of yourself. Hopefully your daughter and friend will have a speedy recovery. Know that you are loved and thought of often. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NHES220 4/15/2014 11:23AM

    You should make sure to take care of yourself and that will help rekindle the spark! I hope your daughter is on the mend and sorry your friend is struggling. Hang in there Barb!

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the new 'do

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

some of you asked for a pic of my haircut - sooooo - here it is.



It certainly is a beautiful day. Have the next couple days off and will be away from the computer. So if I don't talk to you later, have a wonderful weekend

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LE7_1234 4/12/2014 11:51AM

    emoticon

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BRADMILL2922 4/11/2014 3:51AM

    Lookin' good!

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JULIEXOXO 4/10/2014 11:04PM

    Beautiful

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SEAWILLOW 4/9/2014 5:49PM

    Thumbs up!

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 4/9/2014 5:48PM

    Looks lite and airy. I looks really cute on you. Have fun on your days off.

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SQUIRLY13 4/9/2014 1:45PM

    Really cute! Looks fun...

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MOM2ACAT 4/9/2014 12:35PM

    I love the new do; you look great!

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NHES220 4/9/2014 11:34AM

    Barb,
Love, love the haircut! Enjoy your days off!
Noreen


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SLIMMERJESSE 4/9/2014 11:15AM

    Lovely. Very flattering.

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CINDYT63 4/9/2014 10:37AM

    super cute!

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BRAINBENTT 4/9/2014 10:06AM

  emoticon

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Struggling

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

This past week I have been struggling with motivation and keeping my focus. After looking at some things, I am blaming - are you ready? My success.

I have just reached the goal of losing 10% of my bodyweight. I have lost a little over 20 lbs. I feel good. I look better. So those gremlins that occupy my head are telling me to just stop here. Silly me was listening - for a bit. Then I gave it more thought and realised if I stop, I will go back to where I came from.

Where I came from was not a good place. I was not happy. I was not as healthy. Every piece of clothing I owned was tight or too small. I was out of breath going up the stairs. I didn't want to do things with people. I hid from cameras. I made excuses. I belittled myself. I felt lazy. I had no ambition. I rarely ate a vegetable or piece of fruit.

I don't want to go back there. So, when those gremlins tell me it is ok to eat a bunch of cookies, or pizza, or to have another soda - or to blow off going to the Y or getting on the treadmill - I try to remember that girl and those feelings.

This is one of those points where I would normally throw in the towel. Where I would say - yep I look good enough for summer, I am back in "normal" sizes, this is ok.

Guess what? This is NOT ok! This is ok for now, but I have other places to go on this path. I want to see what is up ahead and the only way I can do that is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and making the best choices I can each day.

Barb, it is NOT ok to quit. Have a glass of water......go for a walk during lunch hour......move on!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADMILL2922 4/11/2014 3:50AM

    I think this is a pretty common thing when people hit a milestone or a goal. It is really easy to rest on your success and when you do that, you fall back into some old habbits. I know the exact feeling and I know all about those gremlins. But good for you for realizing what was going on and now you can be proactive about it!

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SEAWILLOW 4/8/2014 9:00PM

    emoticon I hit the wrong icon!!!

Comment edited on: 4/8/2014 9:02:25 PM

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POSITIVEHOPE 4/8/2014 5:54PM

    Yes, it happened to me when I hit Onederland the first time. There was and might still be a part of me that doesn't want to cross that line in the sand. I didn't know about IOWL the first time but Renee helped me learn that those negative voices urging us to eat have a positive intent behind their messages. That negative inner voice wanted to help me? You gotta be kidding! I finally sat down and looked at that part of myself without anger. What are you trying to tell me? Silence. It took me a while but when I became really comfortable and accepting of my inner self and not angry, hostile or superior, I realized it started when I was a child and I was afraid. I thought if I was BIG I would be safe. So I got big. I learned to eat compulsively. The message, "Eat it! You know you want it. It'll make you feel good." was meant to make me eat because there was a part of me that was still afraid of being small.
The podcast that helped me sort it out is 213.
Episode 213: Yo Yo Dieting, Positive Intent and Chronic Fatigue
"Why is it that we can be so successful in some parts of our lives, yet struggle with our weight? If we could just get rid of that devil sitting on our shoulder, all would be well. Or would it?" She teaches you learn how to "turn the devil on your shoulder into your advocate." She is the one who helped me identify my inner little scared kid and how to talk so it listens!
Now when that voice speaks, I see it first as "neurological junk" thanks to Dr Amy Johnson's "Fighting the Urge." Then I talk to my inner brat and say It's okay. I've got this. I know you want to eat it but trust me, we'll be okay." The voice isn't nearly so compelling now. It just stops. No drama or willpower. It just stops!
Glad you figured it out before you regained. We work way too hard to settle for less than our best.

Comment edited on: 4/8/2014 5:59:42 PM

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 4/8/2014 11:13AM

    Oh Ya... been there so many times. You lose 5-10 lbs. clothes are looser moving better, not as short of breath after regular activities. Got it made, feel better now I can go and have that MacDonald's Cheese Burger. Not so fast. Better stop and think about it. You can do this. We can do this we want to get healthier feel better and live better. Better drink some water and go for a walk. I'll meet you at the end of the road. Hugs. emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 4/8/2014 10:59AM

    I've been in this situation several times.

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AKATHLEEN54 4/8/2014 10:58AM

    I love this blog as I think this is how so many of us feel after we achieve initial success. We look better, feel better, have improved self esteem etc. so we think it's OK to go back to eating and living the way we were used to. What we frequently forget is that that is the lifestyle that made us have to change in the first place and this new lifestyle is the one that we have to get used to adapting forever. It's not a bad lifestyle; it' just different, but better different and if we stick with it we will continue to improve. Rock on!! emoticon

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NHES220 4/8/2014 10:45AM

    You've got this. Congrats on the 10% mark - well done!
emoticon

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